R.S.: Hey hey hey. There isn't really much to say. Though I would really love to thank Mrs. Q for helping me out with her review. It really touched me and if she's reading this, I would love to be your friend.

Oh, and to Sangoo, she's not turning insane. But I won't tell what happens. It's a secret. -

Anywayz, I felt as if I was losing my focus again. My friend really isn't helping either. But, I'm getting back on the right track! So now, without further problems, here is the Chapter.

It's always that one person

By: Rampaging Sorrow

Chapter Eleven: There's something I don't understand

Why Can't I be like you?

PART TWO

Kaoru had cried so much, that it made her dizzy and put her to sleep. Michael was holding her close to him as she slept. The tears were still on her eyelids. Michael brushed them away before he let out a sigh. Tyler hit his fist against the pillow before he picked her up. She shivered at his warmth because she was cold. Real cold. Tyler told her to 'sssh' as he pulled her closer. She snuggled into his warmth, trying to get warm fast. Michael put a thermometer in her mouth. Tyler sat back down and Kaoru just held still as she tried to get warm.

"Damn." Michael said as he pulled it out. It was a bad fever. 101.9 Or 102. It just kept switching back and forth. Kaoru shivered again before Tyler kissed her forehead.

"You'll be okay babe. I promise." Kaoru nodded against his chest. Michael sat at a piano and he looked at a sheet of music before Tyler pointed to him. Michael began to play softly. As he played, Kaoru's breathing began to return to a more sleepy state. Then she was asleep once more. Tyler picked up the blanket right next to him and wrapped her up in it. Kaoru rested her forehead in the crook of his neck and Michael stopped playing.

He sat down next to his brother before he saw her bag. He picked it up and opened it before he began to just pull out the different things she brought. Clothes, books to write in, the gun, and some other things. He was mostly surprised about the gun. Then he picked up the diary.

"No!" Kaname grabbed it and closed it as he was opening it.

"Don't you ever read that book. This was Auntie Annalise's diary. Only Kaoru is supposed to read it. It was meant for her, alright?" Michael nodded and apologized softly before he put it back. Tyler was rubbing Kaoru to make her warm. She was pale, and it wasn't looking good at all.

"Get warm Kaoru. Get warm." He said softly as Kaoru had a look of pain on her face. Kaname sighed before she went off to make some soup for when she woke up.

It was late, and Kenshin wasn't sleeping again. It had been this way since yesterday. He couldn't sleep at night anymore. He had her teddy bear, and that was helping since it smelled like her, but it just wasn't enough. He got tired of sitting there, so he got up and he put on some shoes before he left the house in some pajama pants and a wife beater. He sat down in his car before he reversed out and drove to her house. He snuck in through the doggy door(A/N: It's that big.), and he kicked off his shoes. He heard the dog coming closer to him growling.

"Sssh it's me." He said softly. The dog saw the red hair and he immediately calmed down. The dog was supposed to be a gift to Kaoru, but she wasn't there to see it. It was still a baby, but it was very protective as Shinji had taught him, so he just kept quiet.

"Quiet Taro." Kenshin said again as Taro whined. Taro went back to his basket and went to sleep. Kenshin tiptoed and then he zoomed up the steps. He went into Kaoru's room and then he dropped onto her bed and snuggled into her sheets. Her sweet scent intoxicated him into dizziness. He sighed before he fell asleep.

Early in the morning, Kenshin woke up and he left without anybody knowing. Taro was out and he couldn't help but crack a grin at the dog. He was on his back just laid out and his tongue was hanging out the side of his mouth. He didn't bother putting on his shoes. He just left a note before he walked out barefoot. He then jumped into his car before he sat down. His phone was ringing loudly. He grabbed it and stifled a yawn as he chugged in some Listerine. He answered it and began to gurgle.

"Only Kaoru's boyfriend would do some shit like this. It's Michael." Kenshin spit it out in the grass before he sighed.

"What are you calling me at six in the morning for?" Kenshin then put it closer as he drove off. He was listening closely and then he stopped the car abruptly.

"You know where she is! Tell me so I can come and get her!"

"That's the thing… you can't get her. She needs to set her life straight. Just leave her where she is and I promise in a few days Kaoru will come home. Hell, I'll even bring you to her. Alright?"

"… Alright. But is my baby alright?"

"Let Shinji hear you saying that… well she has a fever right now for sleeping in the rain and she's pale. But Tyler is smart at this type of stuff and we're taking good care of her. So don't tell anybody or the old man said that he would kill you."

"Alright… take care." And with that he hung up. Kenshin drove off to the nearest Dunkin Dounuts and he bought himself some breakfast and two dozen doughnuts. They had arched an eyebrow as Kenshin came in there bare foot, but they just gave it to him anyway as it was early in the morning. He went back to his car and then he drove back to Kaoru's house before he began to bang on the door and cry out with an accent.

"Daddy it's your long lost son! Don't you love me anymore! I travel all the way from France to see you and you don't even let me in!" Kenshin kept on fake crying and scratching at the door and the neighbors began to look. Shinji opened the door and pulled him in with his little bag before shutting it and glaring at the red head. He smiled and put out the donuts.

"I got us breakfast."

Dear Luina,

I haven't written in three days and I'm really sorry. My music has been taking me far and I just made a song in French yesterday. It's so cool because I remember that my Grandfather was French, so I just picked it up. I think I might start doing some singing in all the languages I know. Hell, anything to be known.

But that's not what I want to talk about. I want to talk about… myself right now. I… I am so cruel. Shinji is giving me everything. He's giving me everything. And I'm going to somebody else. I mean, me and Shinji's relationship is based on love, care, affection, and all those other things. The other… is based on something that I miss. I miss the roughness of what I use to have. It's not abuse… it's just the way he grabs me and kisses me, leaving me bruised. It's like pain and pleasure at the same time. Shinji would never do that.

I don't know what to do. Go back to Shinji… or stay with him.

Please help me,

Annalise.

Kaoru woke up and then she yawned before she felt her face. She was still sick, so they dressed her in some long sleeves. Once she was done cleaning up her face and teeth, she ran down the steps before hugging her Uncle. Asahi just held her and rocked back and forth as he kept on kissing her forehead. Kaoru's hair was flowing freely down her back. While she was asleep, Karen had trimmed it and cut it in layers just like Kaoru wanted. It was curly now too.

She let go before she hugged Karen and thanked her for the cut. She sat down before she heard a piano playing. She liked the way it was, but the way the person was playing was horrible. She had no soul at all and it seemed like she didn't care. Kaoru couldn't stand it. She got up and she went off before she saw it was Kaname. She sat down next to her before she slapped her hands away.

"Kaname you sound awful." Kaname glared at her cousin as she had a smirk on her face. Kaoru then felt the keys and read the music twice before she began to speak softly as she started up.

"You have to play like you have feeling. Mom always said, the more emotion you feel from the song… the stronger it is." Kaname was fascinated at Kaoru's playing. Everybody had stopped what they were doing to hear it. The boys who were still sleeping were now wide awake in their beds just listening. The twins both were happy as they gasped and listened as their older cousin just sat there and played with such feeling. It was like she was telling a story.

Tyler and Michael came down a few stairs and sat down to listen. They had brushed their teeth and washed their faces. But they did it fast, just to listen to her. Kaoru had her eyes low as she looked at the music. It was swirling. Then she stopped and she got up.

"Beat that." She stuck her tongue out and winked as Kaname hit the keys.

"No fair! I wanna play like that!" Kaoru just laughed before she went to help set the table. As she did, she was singing softly a song that she had made up.

"kagirinai hateshinai kakegaenai yume ni

karitateru no wa nemureru yasei na n' da

ATE no nai kazaranai sukui no nai hibi o

arukitsuzukeru

bokura wa tabi no kodomo dakara." Asahi smiled at his musical niece before he yelled for breakfast. They walked in order from youngest to oldest. First was Michelle since she was two minutes after her sister. Then Amara, Kaname, Michael, and Tyler. They sat down and Kaoru just dug into her food. It was different from theirs, but she was alright with it.

"Kaoru, you sure that you are alright?" Kaoru nodded before she finished up. It was soup after all. She bowed before she went to get dressed. Karen had dried her clothes, so she grabbed her sweater and her t-shirt before pulling on a pair of jeans. She saw the others get ready for school and then Asahi put hand out as they went to grab keys.

"I called your schools. The twins have to go to school since they missed too much days. You three will stay here with Kaoru. Understand?" they nodded and the twins pouted before they left the house with their mother.

"Bye Kaoru!" she hugged them both before they left. Kaoru then went back in before Asahi sat down with a drink. Michael was smoking once more.

"Michael this is the last goddamn day." Michael nodded before he blew out some smoke. He then asked a question.

"I got a question and this has been on my mind forever… Can a teacher give homeless kid homework?" They were silent before they just burst out laughing. Kaoru had leaned forward and held her sides as they kept on laughing. It was a dumb question, but it was funny at the same time. Then Michael stopped and blew out smoke.

"Ooooo man I kill myself." They kept on laughing, but at one point, Kaoru was looking out the window. A name was swirling through her mind and she didn't like it. The name was acid on her lips and if she ever saw him, she would kill him.

Kenshin was at the Kamiya residents just listening to Kaoru's samples of music. Some of them she was just singing about the dumbest things, but most of it was serious. It was love, hate, obsession, lust, depression, and a lot of other emotions. Shinji sat next to him with a drink as well.(A/N: Twins think alike I guess).

"Kenshin… let's have a conversation." Kenshin nodded as he drank his sprite. He had asked for some of Shinji's, but Shinji just gave him a look and Kenshin pouted as he knew it was 'no'.

"That book that Kaoru has… why does she hold it dearly?" Kenshin asked as he looked out the window, her music playing still. He couldn't help but keep it on. He loved her voice. It was pure angelic and soft. Just like her mother's.

"Because that is her mother's journal. Kaoru always saw her mother writing in it and she always has wanted to read it. But my wife was a very smart person. She told her that she couldn't read it until she got older. I wondered why, but now I know why. Because if she had read it when she was younger, she would have hurt herself. Literally."

"That book is that powerful or something?" Shinji nodded before he put his glass aside for the moment. His light blue eyes were just with a small light. Usually they were bright, but since Kaoru was gone, it was fading.

"That book holds everything from before we met, when we met, after everything that happened, and all the way to her death."

"Damn! She must write very small."

"Have you ever held it? I mean just looked at it." Kenshin shook his head before Shinji smirked.

"The book is over five hundred pages. And she has another one as well. But Kaoru doesn't know where it is. That is something only I know."

"How come she didn't find it yet?" Shinji tapped his forehead.

"Because I'm smart." Kenshin just let out a smile as Shinji stuck out his tongue a little bit. He then went to the television and he opened the back before pulling it out. Kenshin gasped. That one was big too. He put it back as well and made sure she wouldn't guess it. He sat back down before he looked into Kenshin's eyes.

"The book that Kaoru has is the one that goes all the way to the middle of our relationship when we dating. But that book is powerful anyway. It tells so much before we met, that even I was starting to think about who I married."

"Wasn't your relationship perfect?"

"Hell no." Shinji sighed and he narrowed his eyes before he looked around. Then he sighed and gave a sad smile.

"Our relationship was love, hate, lust, deception, lies, and so much other stuff. But we managed to keep together even though all of it. I'm shocked that we even had kids with what had happened." He looked at the wall and Kenshin did as well. It was a picture of Shinji and his wife when they were younger. Kenshin saw the Ferris wheel and he knew it was at a carnival immediately. They were just having fun and they were smiling happily.

"Her eyes are so beautiful…" Kenshin said in thought before he blinked and apologized.

"It's alright. Everybody said it." He then looked back at Kenshin.

"Kaoru… is really emotional when it comes to her mother. She would fight everytime somebody said, 'yo mama.' I mean, one time, she lashed out and she punched some kid dead in his face. I mean, his nose was ruined. And she was only ten when she did it." Kenshin let out a small laugh before it got serious.

"That book that Kaoru is reading is some powerful shit. If she ever made that into a book, then she would have people just killing themselves or really thinking about how good they have life. Annalise went through hell about five times in her life, and she always came out smiling, but with the things she wrote, it was only a matter of time before people began to find out.

Kaoru should not have read this book this year. It should have been next year. But her mother said it was alright. Sixteen or seventeen years she told me. And I guess Kaoru wanted it now with how everybody would never answer questions about her." Kenshin nodded.

"So basically, Kaoru is tracing it back to their roots." Shinji nodded.

"Annalise wrote this when she was going insane. I mean, I will tell everybody that my wife was the smartest person I know. But the girl was going nuts when she wrote this. That is why she was so hesitant about Kaoru reading it since Kaoru is just like her mother in every goddamn way. And to be honest with you Kenshin, Kaoru isn't really in the right state of mind either anyway."

"What do you mean?" That really caught his attention to the fullest.

"Have you ever thought about what your girlfriend is like behind closed doors?"

"I already know. I'm here most of the time now."

"I mean behind the doors that are already closed. A second set of doors." Kenshin arched his eyebrow as Shinji sighed and pulled out a picture before showing it to him. Kenshin was shocked. Kaoru was lying on the floor in the rain and her eyes were shut. She had marks on her neck and her arms and a cut on her lip. She looked really hurt.

"You would think somebody beat my poor baby up. But Kaoru has never lost a fight. She always wins and I know you see how violent she is. But guess what?"

"What?" Kenshin asked as he pulled his chair closer.

"She did this to herself." It fell silent as the music stopped playing. Kenshin sat back in his chair as he was in shock. His eyes were wide as mouth was slightly parted. Shinji sighed to himself as Kenshin looked back at him as the next song began to play. This one he began to like.

"She did this to herself? Why?"

"Nobody ever knew. Only she did. The neighbor brought the picture over and then we went out and found her lying in the middle of the road. We almost thought she was dead, but some car had tapped her and she didn't feel like getting up. She was doing it to make everything stop." Kenshin nodded before Shinji took another sip.

"Out of all my children and out of the whole family… Kaoru is by far the darkest child that has ever been born. She has the record for everything. I mean, Kaoru once jumped off a cliff. Literally. I mean she ran and she jumped off before falling into the water. And she did it because she was pissed off. It took us hours to find her because she had swam off thinking she could get away." Kenshin opened his eyes to that as well.

"She is just dark inside and she needs help. Literally. When Kaoru had that drug overdose, it was because she was feeling awful inside and she didn't know how to solve her problems. Kaoru's thoughts are not really normal from all of us." He then looked at Kenshin as he nodded.

"The things that she's reading in that book are only meant for people with a sane thought."

"So… what you're saying is that Kaoru is going insane?"

"Exactly." Kenshin gave a frown.

"But you know… we can grab her before she jumps into the Looney bin. Wanna know how?" Kenshin nodded before Shinji heard somebody coming. He went to Kenshin's ear and began to whisper softly to him. Kenshin had a smirk as he was listening and then he frowned at the end.

"Shinji, if we do this, Kaoru might kill herself."

"We'll be able to grab her before she can. Trust me." And with that the two got up and went off to do something.

Kaoru sat down, just plain old mad. She was reading about who her mother was with. His name had been Daniel Bemostriz. He was an Australian who had moved there. She had asked everybody, but her Uncle and Aunt just gave each other a look and didn't answer. She even played with the devil by calling home and asking her father. Her father knew it was her, but he didn't give her much either. She was getting frustrated, and she was doing it fast.

She tried to see who he was by scanning through what she read, but she didn't find him. She got mad and she threw something of hers out the window before hearing it break.

"DAMMMIT!" she ran outside before she began to beat on a tree. She kept asking the same thing over and over again. Who was the person who really hurt her? What was he like? Why did he do it?

"WHO THE FUCK IS DANIEL!" Asahi ran outside before he grabbed her and pulled her into his embrace. She breathed hard against his chest before she held onto him. She just kept on breathing as she calmed down. He kept kissing her forehead and running his fingers through her hair as he apologized over and over.

"I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry." Kaoru soon began to cry as Asahi held her. She just needed to cry again.

"I want mommy…" she said softly as he kept on comforting her.

"I know baby I know. You'll be okay. Uncle Asahi is here to make sure of it."

Kaoru lay down and she snuggled into Michael as she was lonely and she wanted to sleep with somebody. Kaname told her no because Kaoru was very evil when she and Kaname slept. Tyler had his room locked. And Michael might have been the only one awake. He was just smoking as she looked at the smoke raise up. They were listening to a song that Kaoru's mother had made. It was special, because it was just for her. Michael had his eyelids low as she smoked and blew it up towards the ceiling.

"I wanna see." She said softly.

"See what?"

"If I life smoke." He nodded before he inhaled some and he put his lips right over hers before he blew it into her mouth. She knew how to smoke because she did the candy, but this one was kinda different. She blew it back out before she frowned.

"Nah. I don't like this one. The candy flavor is better." He smiled and he told her he would get her some tomorrow. The song started over before Michael held her closer and finished up smoking. She liked how his smoke mixed with his cologne. It was good to smell it. She then began to sing softly as she slowly began to fall asleep with him.

Michael didn't know why, but he would always love to keep Kaoru around. He was by far her favorite Kamiya. Even more special than his own siblings. There was always something about her that made him feel special… different… unique. And he liked the feeling a lot. Kaoru took in a breath as Michael finally fell asleep. She ran her fingers through his hair as she sang some more.

"hiyayaka na kuuki mo

mune no oku yadotta netsu wa ubaenai

totoe ima wa madda

chiisakute hakanai de shika nakute moi."

For some reason, everybody had been listening to that song. Shinji listened to it as Yahiko slept on his stomach. Kenshin was just thinking with his head in his hands. Shuichi and Genia were just talking about Kaoru and how they missed her. Tara was upset, so she was just laying there in her own sorrows about her missing sister.

But Aoshi was different. Aoshi was not just sitting around and doing nothing. He wasn't with Misao, but he was with Tommy's sister. She understood where he came from, and as he sat up in her bed, he ran his fingers through his hair, green eyes were frustrated. He felt two arms go around him and pull him close. Aoshi leaned back into her embrace. Her hazelish-gray eyes were just warm and comforting. Aoshi turned his eyes to her as he turned his head slightly.

"I… I just wish that everything was back to normal, ya know? Before all this bullshit started. It's sad because she knows she's hurting herself, but she does it anyway. I ust want Kaoru to come home." Chantel nodded before she turned towards him.

"It will be okay. Kaoru seems like a smart strong girl. When she finds what she is looking for, she will come home. I know it." Aoshi smiled before she pressed a kiss to his lips. He savored it before she let go. He laid back with her before he hugged her close to him and fell asleep.

Dear Luina,

Slowing it down, just slowing it down

I'm slowing it down, just slowing it down

The rain moves slower now, your heart beats slower

You aren't thinking, about if you can die.

I bet you're not thinking like that are you? Hell, I don't know anybody who is. Well, except for Shinji. If you slow down everything and you move one step at at time, do you think that you will always accomplish something? Not really. You have to skip steps sometimes to reach to the top. I learned that with this music career.

But… when your heart beats slow. Extra slow. So slow, that you can hear the thump. When it beats like that, you can die ya know. To me, I think that would be the most wonderful sound in the world. To just hear the rain beating against the window, and the thump of your heart telling you something different each time, and letting you know that time is limited.

I feel like that sometimes. Like I'm going to a stop. But if I haven't stopped yet, then why were they like that over me? I know I passed out, but damn. They had me in the hospital extra fast and I was laying there. I know that an overdose is bad, but the pain was too much and I needed to sleep it away. Oh well. You learn somethin new everyday.

I need some serious help. If I don't get it then-

The entry was never finished. Kaoru wondered what she wanted to say. As she sat down on the porch and she smoked, she had to frown because she was understanding, and then it just fell off completely.

"Oh well mum. I guess I gotta learn more about you now than ever."

R.S.Well goddamn. This is just crazy as hell, isn't it? Kaoru's losing it, the Kamiya household is breaking apart, Aoshi is going to Chantel instead of Misao, Shinji is starting up to drink again, Kenshin is just in some serious depression, and Kaoru is fucking up as well.

But guess what? It gets better.

Next chapter,

"I see your soul shining to me… give into my fantasy… I'm your king and you're my queen… let us dance into ectasy."

"Get down!"

"I saw the most amazing thing… and it was just beautiful…Como la salida del sol… I wanted to have it… but I then realized afterward… that I would have to be dead."