So here is a story I've been working on in my free time when inspiration struck me. Now I'm not gonna lie, I'm not sure I'll even finish this, but I have some chapters just collecting dust so I might as well get them out of my docs and put them somewhere online and hope they are a fun read for someone. Sorry if you followed for Steven Universe content, but that idea and motivation well has been dried up for a while now. Feel free to give this a read if you happen to like Hazbin Hotel related stuff and stories of a human in hell, who knows you may end up enjoying this.
This can't be happening right?
It's the one thought going through my head as I take in my surroundings. At first it seems like your everyday alleyway, red brick walls on my left and right, discarded trash bags half spilled open and littered around my feet, and the exit out of here leading toward a street. Yet as I carefully try to keep my footing and not stumble out, I find that this isn't some everyday piece of land on earth. No, no city I can think of has a dark sky shaded an unsettling red like the one I'm looking at. I can feel my very body trembling, a mix of fear, anxiety, and some strange perverse third thing that I can't put my finger on, but it disturbs me deeply.
"Get your hands off me you asshole!"
Shaken out of my thoughts, my body leads me out of the alley towards the voice. My eyes landed on a strange scene, next to a very showy limousine were two beings that carry a human-like stance to them, but look far too different. One has the appearance similar to a cat, with a choker on her neck with a bell on the front of it, looking again it may even be a collar. She was dressed rather skimpily, though it didn't seem to be something she took pride in considering she was wearing a large red and white fur coat adorned with hearts around herself. Pulling on the coat and one of her arms was some four armed grey skinned being, wearing some heart shaped and red tinted shades, no shirt, long very skinny looking pants that almost seemed a part of his legs, and had a very venomous snarl on his face.
"Little bitch, the only reason you've lived so long in luxury and not overdosing in some ditch is because of me! Now you think you can just skip out on pleasing me and even take my coat?!"
A sharp smack suddenly resonates in my ears, my eyes widening further as I watch the feline creature grasp her now red cheek in pain as she collapses to her knees, the four armed abomination now shaking one his hands as if the effort in striking her was below him.
"I think you're in need of some discipline.~" He mutters with a sick smile growing on his face, two arms now suddenly grasping her arms and pinning her to the dirty sidewalk while his other two hands wrap around her throat, the woman struggling in vain and gasping for air that she could not get. Slowly with every second, her very life waning and disappearing as her eyes slowly roll up.
"Maybe this will teach you not to be SUCH A LITTLE CU-"
THUNK
And just like that, the red eyed attacker slowly loosens his grip, the woman gasping for air while he suddenly collapses next to her on the cement. As her breathing regulates, her eyes turn to me with her mouth slightly agape. At first I was just as confused as her until my own eyes looked down and saw the loose brick I was holding in my hand, a corner of it stained with the blood that was also oozing out of the back of the strange male's head. I think I now know what that strange third feeling in me was, as I felt the adrenaline pulse through my body and my heart beat like a drum in my chest. It was pure bloodlust, and what scares me most is that I can tell this isn't my first time feeling this, the question is when and why can't I remember it?
Now in hell, it's normally every man for themselves. There was no law and order, and what little order exists is what Lucifer and the overlords control. Beyond that, you're on your own. So imagine this feline's surprise in finding herself being rescued, by someone who looks entirely human no less. Light tannish skin, regular eyes with a boringly colored iris and pupil, no extra limbs, no fur, no tail, just dressed in a grey tank top (albeit a little blood splattered but it's hell who cares), a pair of khaki shorts, and fucking sandals. The guy barely looks like he barely hit 20 a few days ago and just climbed out of bed to get some mail and look at least decent for any neighbors, and now here he is rescuing her from the actual porn industry overlord himself, Valentino. Now they could only stare at each other, breathing heavily for their own reasons as her earlier aggressor was laying on the pavement.
"...So uh…" Before the human could say anymore, they both heard a loud groan as Valentino slowly pulled his head up.
"Ugh, what the fuck just-"
THUNK
However he just returns to his unconscious state as the human seems to have struck the back of his head again with a brick.
"Gah! Sorry! Oh god he scared me." The young man tries to explain as he puts one hand over his chest to calm himself.
"...Don't be." The female finally speaks up before slowly rising onto her feet. "He's just an overcompensating limp dick piece of garbage." She describes with little hesitation before looking him over. The human looks over himself too and notices he's still holding his current weapon of choice, and shyly smiles at her before throwing it behind him.
"Well I didn't plan on playing hero after waking up today, then again I didn't plan to move to a strange new city and wake up in an alleyway. I'm sorry but where are we ma'am?" He asks, finally wanting to get an answer to figure out how far he is from home.
The woman only shakes her head solemnly, a small tinge of sympathy in her eyes as she decides to rip off this bandage. "Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, kid, but you're in hell. No being dramatic, I mean the literal afterlife for all souls of the damned."
The human can only look at her in complete shock, she could only wonder how much grief he's going under right now. "...if we're in hell...does that mean it'll be okay if we commit grand theft auto?" Surprised by the strange question, she looks at him in disbelief before he points to the limousine. "Don't get me wrong, I'm still processing what you said, but I think it'd be best if we leave before this guy wakes up. If we're in hell then I'm guessing two bashes to the head won't leave him down for long." He points to Valentino, who currently was still bleeding profusely from the back of his head.
"...I call shotgun." Is all she says before grabbing a pair of keys that were in the fluffy robe before throwing them to the human.
Except for the low hum of the engine, silence is all that can be heard as the human and the feline sinner currently drove in their recently acquired limousine. Neither sure what to say to each other as a storm of questions brew in their minds.
"...is it common not to remember how you died?" The human finally asks as he tries to piece together what little knowledge he has of his current predicament.
"It's actually the only thing you think the most about in your early days here, that and regret of dying in the first place. Why? Do you not remember?"
"That's the thing, the last memory I have is going to sleep, waking up and getting ready for the day, I take a step out of my house, and end up in that alley and see you and the...I'm gonna say heart obsessed weirdo."
She looks at him pensively, her years in serving the porn industry giving her a small knowledge in reading someone, it helped when you wanted to pick out the predators from the prey, the virgins and the chads. All she saw was a very confused boy, nothing particularly malicious and with not a hint of any perverse desire. Either he was very good at hiding his intent and lying, or was being completely honest, and she didn't know what worried her more. "Well you're not wrong in your description. Can't say I understand what happened to you or why you still look human and not like any of the other demons here."
"Wait, you mean everyone here used to be human, just like you?"
"Yep, never would have guessed that when I died I'd look like a furry dream, on the plus side I keep my important bits." She shrugs while motioning with her hands toward her lithe seductive form barely hidden by the robe, the human only sparing a passive glance before turning his eyes back on the road.
"I'm sure your body is beautiful and with your permission I'd look and appreciate your feminine form, but I'd rather not run someone over and attract more attention to us."
"A little late for that." She comments while trying to brush off his strange words. 'Permission? Definitely virgin...not necessarily bad though, saved my fine ass at least.' "You have no idea who you just beat with a brick do you?"
"I may have been a Christian once in my childhood but I don't think the Bible said anything about four armed red eyed guys attacking feline beauties in hell."
"Fair enough, that four armed weirdo you're referring to is Valentino, one of the overlords of hell." She explained with a bit of an ominous whimsy in her tone, sending a small shudder through the human's body.
"Wait so the Devil isn't in charge here?"
"Oh he's in charge alright, but while he's the main overlord, there are still other powerful beings to watch out for. While Lucifer and his wife Lilith rule all of hell itself, the overlords control specific parts, Valentino happens to manage everything about porn, from strippers, to prostitutes, to videos you masturbate to all alone in the dark."
"Please tell me not all overlords are that bad."
"Depends on your definition of bad. Sure the video demon doesn't care for sexual assault, but that doesn't stop him from being manipulative and egotistical maniac. The radio demon may be charming and can act like he has your interest at heart, but he's also a cannibalistic dealmaker who will promise you fortune only to reap your soul for himself."
"...for fuck's sake. First day in hell and I probably pissed off one of the biggest baddies there is… he's not gonna come after you is he?" He asks her suddenly, breaking her train of thought.
"I mean, I have his coat and limousine so yeah, not like I can leave hell."
"Damn it all, my first and probably last good deed in hell and it's gonna be for nothing. I'm sorry I can't do more to help." He sighs out, a little disheartened, much to her confusion.
"...look you don't have to worry about me, I got a few allies, I know some places to lay low. You however are fresh meat just waiting to be either slaughtered, raped, eaten, or all of the above and not necessarily in that order." The human just gulps, looking a tad pale. "However...there may be hope for you."
"If these overlords are as powerful and influential as you imply, where can I go that's safe?"
"Simple, into the domain of another overlord. One that even houses the princess of hell herself."
The limousine comes to a stop in front of a large building with a sign that says 'Hazbin Hotel' at the very top of it. The human parks the vehicle before making his way out, handing the keys over to the demon so she may keep driving. As he looks over the hotel, he hears the window lower as she sticks her head out to speak to him one last time.
"So this is the place?"
"Yep. I doubt the little princess can get any resident of hell into heaven, but she probably knows more about humans coming to hell than I do. Maybe you'll meet her father and get some more info, just remember to be on your best behavior."
"Oh yeah, things have been pleasant enough, knocking out a pimp and talking to a pretty woman in a limousine is a far better hell experience than burning for eternity, so I think I'll try to stay on his good side."
The feline demon only nods, her hands on the wheel before giving him one more glance. "Hey kid...what's your name?"
"Hmm? Oh uh, it's Maxwell, but Max works too." He replies honestly with a little grin.
"Max huh, say when you wanna lose that V card or just wanna have some fun, look me up, I'll treat you to a nice time~" She teases with a smirk and a admittedly cute laugh at his surprised blushing face before she closes the window and peels out, the limousine driving away in the distance.
"Haha very funny...damn I never got her name!" He facepalms before resigning himself to looking up again at the hotel.
"I thought this was called the Happy Hotel? Oh well, maybe it's a misprint." With that in mind, Maxwell walks forward to the Hazbin Hotel.