Mis-Adventure's In Labyrinth Land
Chapter 4: Redecorating the Realm
Fekay was smart. Fekay decided that the safest place to be would be in the library on the second floor in the east wing. Truthfully, any library would have worked but this one had a spectacular view of a rose garden. Avi respected and loved books and so would never even dream of trashing a library. She never even left a bookmark out of place in one of those book filled havens.
Legolas was not so very smart. He decided to take a leisurely walk around the castle. He seemed to have forgotten all about the fact that the halls were never safe when Avi was around. The fact that her eye's gleamed insanity and mischief during breakfast, and that Trin's smile was all knowing in THAT kind of way, seemed to have been forgotten as well.
Jareth remained completely and rather happily, oblivious, to everything. Fekay's speedy exit from breakfast to the library went unnoticed. Trin's slightly evil smirk left him with not so much as a worry. He merely smiled warmly at the beings as they finished eating and left. (This freaked them all out, except for Avi who hadn't been paying attention to Jareth anyway.) He then went to lounge in his large throne. He had an appointment today and felt that nothing could possibly go wrong.
The poor, diluted fool.
((((((((((((With the Poor, Diluted Fool))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
"Your Majesty?" Drawled a very sultry, definitely male and British accented voice.
"Yes Pahlin?"
"I've got the report."
"Oh right! Well come on then, tell me what's been happening."
"Of course…"
Pahlin, adviser to King Jareth. Very hot, very smart, smarter than Jareth in more than one aspect. Pahlin has violet eye's, long raven black hair, he's tall and he's an elf. Not a Middle Earthen though, an Underground species. He also enjoys the clubbing here on good old earth, and has probably been spotted in more than one hot night establishment. In fact, all you ladies who go clubbing may have even danced with this sultry, seductive thousand-year-old hottie. He is also Jareth's partner in getting that portal up and running.
"The Goblins have been behaving as well as…. well they possibly can. Which isn't much but it's the best we can get from them so lets not look a gift horse in the mouth hm? The portal…is going well." Pahlin reported with a slight air of hesitancy.
"It is, is it?" Jareth asked, slightly suspicious. "You're not a very good liar."
"Ahem…. well it seems that the portal may take a bit longer than expected. It IS going well in the respect that it hasn't collapsed onto itself, exploded, imploded, closed, let something bad in, and the Goblins haven't been able to mess it up. However, something is still trying block it, so progress is slow and of course, right now, the window is no larger than your thumb."
"Ah…which means?"
"Avi will be with us longer than a year, sir."
"Damn."
Pahlin gave a small nod and exited, waiting until he was away from the room to start chuckling.
Jareth's face fell once Pahlin had left the room. Longer than a year? Was he seriously serious? Well there went half of Jareth's good day down the drain. Ah well, he wouldn't let a little thing like that bother him, now would he? As long as Avi behaved reasonably, there wouldn't be much of a problem.
Again, the poor, poor, diluted fool.
(((((((((((Mayhem anyone?))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Jareth closed his eyes for a moment and pinched the bridge of his nose in hopes of deflecting the oncoming headache he knew was on its merry little way. Only a moment were they closed, he'd swear it years later writing his memoirs. When he opened them again, red and white targets were everywhere! And he meant everywhere; they were on the goblins, on the walls, the floors and even, oh dear gods, his shirt!
Jareth was only able to contemplate why there were targets painted on absolutely everything from the goblins themselves, to his shirt for about a millisecond. Yes, the goblins remained oblivious to it all, they'd found some discarded Barbie Dolls and were happily tearing the plastic things limb from limb and fighting over the pieces. Jareth at this moment wished he could be this oblivious for the scream that reached his ears was not a very good sign.
"BONZAI!" Rang out about the throne room as Avi swung in on a vine from the ceiling (she loved being able to manipulate matter like that.) shooting everything she could with one of her pistols. She landed in the pillow pit in the center of the room and opted to exchange her pistol for her shotgun and looked about with insane eyes. "Muahahahaha!" She laughed evilly and preceded to shoot every thing targeted in the room, including Jareth.
"Avi! What in the-Ow!" As we all know…paintballs hurt when you aren't wearing any protection. And a thin poet's shirt is NOT protection compared to a paintball going 20 mph from 10 feet. "Ow! Bloody Hell Avi!" Jareth swore at the girl as she continued to laugh maniacally and shoot. Suddenly the shotgun was back on her back and in her hands was a something more akin to a shotgun. A semi-automatic maybe? She didn't know, and she didn't care.
She just set that insane gleam on Jareth's wide and twitching eyes, pointed and shot.
Jareth scrambled to hide behind his throne as she shots hit in on the back, and the arse. He finally made it behind the throne and out of the secret door there. Now he was glad Pahlin had made him add it in after Avi's last little visit.
(Avi's a bit of a prankster, she's very mischievous. Jareth would rather classify the girl as a pixie than an elf, but blood is blood. And unfortunately, this mischievous streak runs in the Elrond's family, believe itor not.)
After thoroughly wrecking the throne room and giving Jareth reason to not sit down for a week on anything other than a pillow of air, Avi giggled to herself and skipped, yes skipped, out into the halls. She now had no guns in her hands, they were all secured to her body by several holsters and she was skipping happily down the hallway. She reached and corner and flattened herself against the wall, all military strategy like.
"Perverted elf prince, twelve O' clock!" She whispered to no one in particular, not even herself.
Legolas was walking down the corridor at a leisurely pace. He had no reason, which he could possibly remember, to be hiding in a library, or his room, or the kitchen. (Those are the three places Avi would never mess around in.) Legolas wasn't exactly the sharpest sword in the armory either.
"PAINTBALL POUNCE ATTACK!" Avi screamed as she jumped around the corner and fired several rounds from both pistols at the very surprised prince. Legolas never knew what hit him until it was all over and Avi was standing there, staring down at him with a smirk of satisfaction and that same insane gleam in her eyes. He's fallen down sometime after an amount akin to about 3 clips per gun had been emptied unto him AND the entire hallway behind him. If that wasn't enough, Avi then preceded to pounce on him so he was flat on his back and she was sitting on his stomach.
"Gotcha Leggo!" She giggled and vanished in a puff of sapphire blue smoke as if she was never there.
Legolas just stared at the empty space with an eyebrow raised so high it nearly disappeared into his hairline. "Why in the name of the Valar did I volunteer to keep that girl company…?" He whimpered to himself, unsticking his paint-covered form from the floor and walking off painfully to go and take a very long bath in his room.
The next few hours were spent with Avi and Trin together, in the Labyrinth, each equipped with paintball guns and a never-ending supply of ammo.
"Avi, darling, I think we've found the firey's!" Trin exclaimed as they entered one of the many areas of forests.
"We have?" That insane gleam turned very malicious. "Wooohoooo!" Avi and Trin were only there for 3 minutes before the firey's came out to see what was going on. Avi proceeded to nearly kill the damned annoying things with paintballs.
Lets just say that by dinnertime, Jareth was very sore and opted to eat in his rooms. Legolas was still in his bath trying to wash every ounce of paint out of his hair and having sore luck with it. Fekay was sitting in the dining room enjoying some very well cooked chicken, rice and tri-tip and Avi and Trin were once more in their room, doing nothing you all want to know about. The Labyrinth and the castle itself were covered in paintball induced color schemes and the goblins were passed out wherever they pleased, most of which places happened to be in the city.
Sleep that night only came easy for Fekay, Avi and Trin. Although in Avi and Trin's case, sleep didn't happen for quite a while.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Chapter Fin)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Heh….oh the fun one can have while torturing Jareth! Thank you for the paintball idea, again, it was such a good idea! So…anyone else got torture plans? Hm? Anyone here want to see Jareth pulling his own hair out in irritation? Or do we want to see a freaked out Jareth because Avi actually acts like the innocent little angel she resembles for more than a week? Any other suggestions? I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please Review me!