Author's note: Not gonna lie some of this was rushed, these past few chapters just came to me in the middle of the night and in a rush of creativity I typed it all out while running on only a couple of hours of sleep.
I gave them some editing after some sleep, and tried to spread them out over the week then decided to post them before Christmas Eve so no one is too distracted and can just enjoy the holidays.
"AAAAAAAH!" Kushiel roars out as once again he and the armored human clash. "You're nothing more than scum of the earth! You're lower than plankton drifting in the sea!"
"If I'm so pathetic, then what does that make you?" Max asks as he sweeps the angel's legs then bashes his armored knee against Kushiel's face. "You're the one bleeding from this fight, while I'm unscathed."
Kushiel spits out some blood in his mouth before glaring at Max. "It doesn't matter how much I bleed, no mortal can ever kill me, I am the only one who is capable of destroying all sin, I am God's successor!"
Max is quiet at that as he looks around, only to chuckle softly. "If you're supposed to be His successor…then where are your followers?"
"What are you talking about?" Kushiel looks around the battlefield only to be stunned as he sees his legion of angels being slaughtered by an army of heavily armed demons, exterminators either dropping like flies or fleeing into the crack in the sky. "NO! Don't run away you cowards! Keep fighting!"
"It's over Kushiel." Slowly the armor surrounding Max's body begins to disappear, his body reverting back to its normal self as he smiles triumphantly. "This war is over."
"It's not over until I say it's over! I can kill all of you myself, like I did that little whore!"
"Expect…you didn't. Our precious princess looks alive to me." He points over to a tired looking Charlie who was being comforted by Vaggie and her mother Lilith.
"I-impossible! How can this be happening!" Kushiel yells out in a panic, trying to find some silver lining. "It doesn't matter! I may have failed today, but I am immortal! I can try again another day, even if it takes another millennia of planning and resources, I can never die!" He cackles maniacally only to stop seeing Max's smirk.
"How many dealmakers do we have here in hell?" Max asks with a smug grin on his face, catching the attention of many powerful demons. "I'd like to make a deal, one I believe everyone can benefit from." He pulls out the golden pistol Lucifer gave him and takes out one bullet.
"Give this bullet as much demonic energy as possible! In return, I'll blast this fucker's head clean off." Max offers, Lucifer and Alastor already agreeing with his plan.
"Humanity must be stupider than I thought!" Kushiel laughed out loud. "No weapon here in hell can possibly kill me! I am Kushiel, I am the voice of god! I am his firm hand that will smite every last sinner in existence!"
"Hmm, you're right about one thing. No weapon in hell can finish you off…but what about an angel's?" Max smirked as he could already see a flow of demonic energy going towards the bullet in his hand, green, black, and red colors swirling around the golden ammunition. "This isn't my pistol you know, it was a gift from the one being in hell who's seen heaven with his own eyes…isn't that right Lucifer?"
"During my early years here, that gun has been one of my favorites in keeping me safe from any ambitious angels, fallen or otherwise." Lucifer comments with a pleased grin.
"N-no…no No NO! I will not be beaten like this! Only God has the right to judge me! Not y-" The angel is cut off as the quickly loaded pistol is now jammed in his mouth.
"The bullet is charged, now it's time I hold up my end of the deal…" Maxwell looks into the angel's eyes as he switches off the safety.
"P-please!" Kushiel begged in a muffled voice as he slowly pulled his head back to try and speak. "Y-you don't have to do this. Join me! Working together, we can put an end to hell, we can put an end to sin! I can guarantee you a place in Heaven, just please! SPARE ME!"
"…to think, I'm probably the first human to have an angel beg for it's life…answer this one question Kushiel, and I may let you live." Max could see hope shine in the angel's eye before the human asks his question. "How many…how many people begged for their lives, really begged and pleaded with God in hopes of being saved…and how many times did God not listen?" With his question asked, Max could see that faint light of hope, immediately be snuffed out as Kushiel quivers in fear. "…I thought so."
BANG
With one pull of the trigger, Kushiel's head is obliterated, leaving a spray of ichor behind him as his face is left unrecognizable by the point blank shot of demonic and angelic energy combined into one bullet.
"Hmm, killing a wannabe god with the power of the devil, feels like I'm playing Persona 5." Max jokes to himself with a small chuckle.
With Kushiel defeated, life in hell slowly managed to get back to the way it used to be…as in it was still a chaotic mess.
With the death of so many demons, there was bound to be another turf war or two. You'd think the fear of god would have given so many of these sinners the idea that maybe redemption isn't the worst possible thing to try, but in the end many chose to continue living a life of sin.
That's not to say everyone chose to keep being bad. To Charlie's delight, the hotel has gained a few new residents. They're not having the easiest time adjusting, but nothing worth doing is ever easy. With a little help from her many friends, Charlie feels confident that she can help these sinners.
Max made sure to properly pay I.M.P for their help, and Lucifer was kind enough to add a generous 200% tip as gratitude for his rescue. Loona still couldn't look Max in the eye without remembering what he did, but she hasn't tried to kill him on sight so that was good in his books. Speaking of books, I.M.P decided to allow Max to travel to and from Earth whenever he wants, just as long as he keeps everything here in hell a secret and not let anyone who isn't a paying customer find out about what they do. With this he was able to bring more of his stuff on Earth to show to his new pals here in hell.
Other than the friends and allies Max made, no one else knew he was human so he was thankfully still safe on that front. Many demons assume Max was so powerful against Kushiel thanks to Lucifer backing him up, some theorized he was a new overlord in the making. Ever since the fight Max hasn't felt his wrath showing itself as often, not even around Alastor, though he assumed he was just used to the radio demon at this point. He feels though that if a real threat were to ever show itself again, he'll have plenty of rage to use against them.
Life in hell is chaotic, not to mention extremely dangerous, but as Max looked over Pentagram city on the roof of the Hazbin Hotel, he felt after everything he's been through, nothing could stop him now.
"You know, I do listen."
"Huh?" Max turned around, trying to find the source of the voice.
"Prayers…I listen to all of them. Unfortunately, I just can't answer them."
"Who's there? Show yourself!" Max yells out, prepared to fight if necessary.
"My apologies, I'm still trying to find a form that will…oh here we go!" The voice continued before Max felt a breeze blow past him. He looks behind and sees a familiar face.
"…Keanu Reeves?" He asks as he sees that unmistakable bearded face.
"No my child, this is simply the form I took. By looking through your kind, I found a form you'd find the most relaxing to speak to." The Keanu Reeves look alike explained.
"…no…God?" Max asks, pale in the face as he pieces together who was in front of him.
"That is correct my child. Please do not be afraid, I hold no ill will toward you."
"Really? Not gonna lie, I talked a lot of shit about you a couple days ago."
"Young Maxwell, I have heard the voices of my billions of children for several millennia."
"Ah, yeah I guess you've grown kinda immune to that kinda thing." Max says while lightly scratching his cheek. "But if you're not mad at me, then why are you here?"
"It's simple, my child. I have come to offer you a choice." He puts one hand on Max's shoulder and looks into his eyes. "If you so desire, I am willing to let you join me in heaven."
"…wait what!?" Max asks incredulously. "But I'm a killer, I've saved Lucifer, I'm literally working together with sinners!"
"Yes, you have committed many sins, but you did it all for what you believe is right. You worked so hard for so long and been through trials you never should have had to face. For your hard work, I welcome you to heaven where you may enjoy eternal paradise."
"I…look, I just, I'm very grateful for the offer, doubt get me wrong. It's just that I can't abandon those here at the hotel. I'm sure heaven is amazing, but I can't just ditch my friends, not after everything we've been through… besides, what if another angel comes down and tries to destroy all of hell again?"
"There's no need to worry about that. After seeing what Kushiel attempted to do, I decided to cancel his exterminator project. I knew I should have kept a closer eye on him…"
"Wait wait wait, you mean to tell me the reason there have been these yearly exterminations is because you didn't think to check on what Kushiel was doing in the first place?"
"Yes, I admit I put perhaps too much faith in him. As a father I should remember to keep a close eye on my children more often."
"…it's funny, here I was thinking I was playing Persona 5, but now I'm thinking this is Asura's Wrath." God tilted His head to the side.
CRACK
Before he could register what was happening, Max had landed a powerful headbutt against His face, knocking Him flat on His back. While God was on the ground, Max stomped toward Him before lifting Him by the front of His shirt.
"Take the biscuits out of your ears and listen closely." Max snarled. "You allowed the creation of sin, you allowed the world we live in to be what it is today, and for that I will never forgive you. I will always hate you." Despite the anger Max was showing, there were no glowing veins or red eyes. This was 100% human rage at its finest.
"If you ever sit back and let some dipshit angel try to kill my friends again, I will personally rip their wings off, attach them to my body, fly to heaven myself, and rip and tear every single bit of your stupid holy flesh until there's nothing left to burn and put into an urn."
He pulled God closer until they were looking each other in the eye. "Have I made myself clear?"
God was silent for several seconds before His lips curled into a smile and He began chuckling before giving a hearty laugh. "Ha Ha Ha! About time someone said that to me."
"…what?" Is all Max can say as his grip loosens and God gets up on His feet.
"No one besides Lucifer has ever talked to me like that, and that was before the beginning of mankind. Even the humans in heaven can't speak to me that way in fear that they'll go to hell."
He smiles before looking up wistfully. "I'm not gonna lie my child, I've made a lot of mistakes, an innumerable amount. I could never apologize enough for the suffering humans and every other life on earth have gone through. Despite what many say, I'm not as omnipotent as they'd like to believe. Sure I know every hair on your head and every star in the sky, but I can't see the future, I can't see the results of my actions. I thought free will would bring out the best in humans, I had no idea the best of them would be such a large minority and have such a small say in the world, and the worst would end up coming together and have the biggest say."
He looks to Max before placing a hand on his shoulder. "I screwed up a lot. I can never apologize enough for that. I feel bad for saying this…but it's up to people like you to make a difference. There are a lot of bad sinful people in the world, and it's those with righteous hearts and strong determination who have the ability to fight and change it all for the better." He turns away as He looks toward heaven. "I can't do much, but I can offer you all my support, and let you know that in the end when you pass away after doing such hard work, there will be a place for you in heaven where you may rest and be rewarded for your kindness."
He gives Max one more glance and a smile. "From the bottom of my heart, I want to thank you and every person who, despite all the evil in the world, has decided to use their free will to do good instead. I promise you if you continue on your path of kindness, love, and justice…then an eternal bliss awaits you."
"…why do I get the feeling you're not just talking to me?" Max asks.
"Hehe, well you never know who may be listening. My adorable granddaughter, for example, is nearby." He points to the door leading from the roof back to the inside of the hotel, where Charlie was trying to peek from behind it like a curious child. Realizing she's been noticed, she squeaks and hides herself, only a bit of her blond hair visible.
"Wait, granddaughter!?" Max nearly yelled in shock.
"Well, I like to think Lucifer is my son, albeit a very rebellious one. So in a way, that means Charlie and I are related!" He chuckles softly at Max's face in sudden deep thought. "If someone as kind as her can exist in hell, then that means I've been slacking off and need to help my angels learn to show just as much if not more compassion, kindness, and understanding to sinners
"Speaking of sinners, what now? There is still gonna be sin on Earth, will Hell become overpopulated?" Max asks, earning a small grimace from God.
"The other angels have been looking into Kushiel's notes, and we came to the conclusion that the overpopulation was a false report on his part, a lie he created in order to commit his purging of sinners. But…his true fear was that with enough sinners, Lucifer may one day attempt to use them as soldiers in a war against heaven. I have faith that won't be the case, but the other angels will be harder to convince, especially considering the evidence you have all shown."
"….Shit, we really did kill an angel." Max facepalms, knowing this could bite him in the ass later.
"Do not worry, I will do everything in my power to try and keep the others from attempting any more violence against hell. I will try to consult others in heaven to see what we can do to help instead."
"And by help you mean…?"
"Well, I mean to help with this hotel idea!" God said cheerfully to the stunned Max. "It's a wonderful idea, helping sinners get a chance at redemption. It won't be easy, but I'll do my best to convince the angels to try and find a way to support the Hazbin Hotel. Maybe we can research the conditions needed for redemption and send them to her so she can help the sinners work toward them."
"T-that would be great! Until then we'll keep on trying our best down here. Uh…sorry for the headbutt then, I hope we'll be great partners in this endeavor."
"All is forgiven, and I hope so too." He smiles kindly before opening up his wings. "Keep up the good work Maxwell…oh and a message I almost forgot to give you from heaven … 'she' says 'thank you…I love you Maxxie.'"
Max is stunned in disbelief. It wasn't his first time being called that nickname, but if God was delivering it to him personally from heaven…his eyes begin watering as he puts the pieces together.
"You got a good friend there Maxwell, she came up to me personally when she heard I was making a visit down here. I can tell she's quite proud of you. And while I don't condone murder, I might be willing to look over that sin once your time is up and you need to be judged." With those last words, God flapped his wings and took off into the sky.
Once He had left, Charlie slowly came out from her hiding place and looked at Max. The young man was trembling before he fell to his knees as he tried to hold back the tears in his eyes. However as Charlie put her hand on his shoulder and kneeled next to him, the dam finally broke and he held the princess close as he cried tears of leftover grief and joyful relief into her shoulder.
Author's Note: And that's THE END! Congrats on managing to finish this story with me. It's probably lame in comparison with some of the other Human in hell stories, but I don't mind. I wasn't aiming to make a New York Times Bestseller. Nah I just wanted to do this because it seemed fun, and I admit I did have fun making this story. If any of you managed to enjoy this, then I'm happy for you.
No promises but I've been dabbling with the idea of a smut spinoff based on Max here in hell, it'd be kind of a sequel but with less life threatening stakes and more of a porn without plot kind of thing, but the creativity juices are drained for now. Only got a few chapters and I wanna wait until I get more done before I consider posting them.
So I guess we'll see what happens, until then, thank you for many of the kind reviews, and I hope all of you have a wonderful Christmas, Hanukkah, New Years, and whatever you wanna celebrate. Just enjoy your life whether you're a lone wolf, an introvert with one or two friends or an extrovert with 10, celebrate being alive despite these past couple of years, and continue giving the middle finger to whatever adversity life throws your way.