Summary: Dib is depressed and Zim notices, will he put aside his need to destroy the earth for someone who he calls an enemy, ZADR slash, set in high school
This chapter is a little longer…not much…but a little.
(AN) Warning, this fic will include cutting, suicidal themes, violence, language, sexual themes, mild to moderate psychosis, self hatred, and other violent or S.I., themes
"Blah" speaking,
'Blah' thinking,
blah flash backs and memories
BLAH different points of view
'"Blah voices"' in head
Disclaimer- I do not in any way own ore hope to own the absolutely wonderful Invader Zim. And sadly, I am in no way associated with its wonderful creator.
And now….on with the story
DIB
He could feel the tears streaming down his face, but he didn't care. He was currently kneeling in front of the toilet, his arm extended over it, razor in hand. '''Do it Dib''' taunted the voice that he called his conscience.
'''You know you want to''' 'no' he thought his hand shaking. '''it'll make you feel better''' the voice argued. '''it'll make all your pain go away''' it soothed. Dib stared at the blade, watching mesmerized as the dim lights of the school bathroom glistened on it's surface. He continued to stare, inwardly debating. 'My arms are already covered…what could a few more hurt?' he questioned himself, bringing the blade closer to his arm.
He ran the blade slowly over the layers of cuts and scars, watching as the blood slowly bubbled to the surface and pooled about the shallow slit. Almost instantly, he felt calm, as though all of his worries, anxiety, self hatred, pain, and longing for death just vanished. It was as though nothing in the entire world could bother him.
The pain was nothing….he deserved the pain, but the release was everything, he knew that he would regret this latter, like in gym, but he didn't care at the moment, all that mattered was his release.
'''good job dib''' the voice cooed quietly, as though it were in some way comforting him. '''now…dig deeper this time''' the voice cooed softly. '''your such a good boy''' it said cooing softly in order to get Dib to obey.
Silently, tears running down his face, he complied to the voices soft urgings almost without thought. He gave in, no longer fighting the urge. 'it's not like anyone ever comes in here anyway' he thought, letting the blood drip from his arm, watching as it fell and landed with a small splash in the toile water, were it slowly diluted, making patterns in the water.
Making one last slit, he grabbed a hand full of toilet paper and pressed down, hard. Letting go temporarily, he placed the blade in his bag and opened the door and walked over to the sink.
ZIM
'filthy-disgusting-human-stink being' Zim cursed inwardly, walking towards the school bathroom. "how dare that disgusting human regurgitate it's revolting earthen food onto the almighty Zim….he will suffer …oh yes….he WILL SUFFER!" Zim yelled, sinking back into his old habit of talking his thoughts aloud.
Pushing the door open, he stopped dead in his tracks. "what are you doing Dib-human" Zim said, his voice dangerously low. He watched as Dib looked from his arm to the door. "Don't even think of it Dib-worm" Zim said, walking forward.
"Now…tell the almighty Zim who has done this to you" he said, reaching forward and grabbing the panicking Dib's arm. "Tell me dib-worm" "why do you care" Dib spat, jerking his arm away from the curious looking alien.
"I don't" Zim said, inwardly wondering why in fact he did care. ":well…then forget everything that you've seen here." dib said, applying a paper towel to the slowly drying blood that was forming on the cuts.
"tell me now stink-being" Zim said, reaching forward once again "Dib human" Zim said, stopping. "Are you crying?" Zim said, staring at Dibs tear stained cheeks "I said forget it" Dib shouted, pulling his sleeves over the no longer bleeding cuts.
"I will find out Dib… oh yes, I will" Zim shouted after the retreating Dib. Dib left, leaving Zim to ponder his new feelings of worry and pity. 'why DO I care' Zim thought, walking out of the dimly lit bathroom. Zim walked down the hall and to his next class, his mind never leaving the complex subject of Dib.