In the flash back Dib is like five and Dib's mom has been severely depressed for years, but she hides it from her children. just though u ought to know for future reference
Summary: Dib is depressed and Zim notices, will he put aside his need to destroy the earth for someone who he calls an enemy, ZADR slash, set in high school
(AN) Warning, this fic will include cutting, suicidal themes, violence, language, sexual themes, mild to moderate psychosis, self hatred, and other violent or S.I., themes
"Blah" speaking,
'Blah' thinking,
flash back flash backs and memories
BLAH different points of view
'"Blah voices"' in head
Disclaimer- I do not in any way own ore hope to own the absolutely wonderful Invader Zim. And sadly, I am in no way associated with its wonderful creator.
Oh, and for this story, I for got to tell you all, I DO NOT CARE IF THIS IS ACCURATE, this story is practically au…or is au….I don't know
And now….on with the story
DIB
Dib sobbed and made another slit, 'it's all my fault' he told himself.
flash back
"mommy, mommy, look at me mommy" Dib shouted as he swung as high as he could on the swings. His mother was sitting in the chair near the house smiling and laughing while she held Gaz in her arms.
"come on Dib, it's time to go into the house" she said smiling. "But mo-om" Dib whined, "I don't wana go" Dib said, stamping his foot. "come on sweetie, I have a surprise for you." she said, sweetly. Dib's face brightened almost instantly. "A surprise" he said, running and jumping up and down excitedly in front of his mother. "Yes dib, a surprise." she laughed.
Walking inside, dib was meat with the site of a large, bran-new-looking teddy bear. It was about four foot tall and was super fuzzy and it had a large bright blue ribbon tied around it's neck. Dib squealed with delight. "You got me another pudgy" Dib screamed excitedly, remembering his old torn and lumpy teddy bear that had once looked like the new one on the table. "No Dib, I fixed your old one" his mother laughed.
Dib sat there, trying to comprehend what his mother had just told him. Tears began to leak out of the sides of his eyes and his grin slowly vanished.
"You killed pudgy!" he shrieked, tears heading down his face. "No honey" his mother said soothingly, picking him up and giving him a hug. "I made him better" she said soothingly. "I fixed him" she said trying to sooth her crying son. "No…you…didn't" he sobbed, kicking and wiggling out of his mother's grip. "You killed him…I HATE YOU" he screamed running to his room.
His mother ran after him, but he had locked the door. "honey…come on, it'll be ok." she said through the door. "No it won't" Dib screamed "You'll like this pudgy just as much" she promised. "No, I hate it, I hate you" he screamed. At the door. "I never want to see you again" he screamed. Hopping on his bed and sobbing into the pillow.
DIB'S MOM
'he hate's me' she thought, as she held the knife. 'they'd be better off without me…I can't do anything right…they probably won't even remember' she thought, digging the ever sharp kitchen knife into her skin as hard as she could. 'they'll be better off' she told herself as she started to feel the effects of her deep cut. The blood was poring fast, there was no turning back now. She could feel herself falling, her head felt so light, almost as though she could fly. Her vision was getting dark and for once…she didn't care…not about anything.
DIB
Wiping his eyes tiredly he looked up. "mommy" he said, opening his door and walking out into the hallway. "Mommy?" he asked again, wondering were she was. "mo…mommy" he stuttered looking at the crumpled heap on the floor. "MOMMY" he screamed, running forward and turning her over. "no mommy, please" Dib sobbed, tears leaking from his eyes. "I'm sorry mommy, I'm so sorry" "please get up mommy…please" he sobbed waking Gaz up. "Dib" she said tiredly rubbing her eyes. "Dib…wat's wong wit mommy" she said, beginning to cry. "Oh god" their dad said, walking through the doorway. "Kids go in the living room" he said, running over and checking for a pulse.
"Why won't mommy get up" Dib cried trying to struggle to see his mother. "Dib, go in the living room" he said firmly. "Dib, your mother's gone…she went to heaven" he said sadly. "Mommy" Gaz screamed, sobbing. "dis is aw your fault Dib" she sobbed hitting her brother. "You killed mommy…you made her sad" she cried running off and to her room. 'I killed her' dib thought sadly before grabbing pudgy and heading to his room. He lay there for the whole knight, sobbing on and desperately clinging to pudgy…his only comfort.
End flashback