CUT TO:
INT. LUKE'S APARTMENT -- LATER THAT EVENING
LUKE is wrapping some presents. JESS walks in holding his Santa costume in his hands.
LUKE: Hey.
JESS: Hey. Any word on my car?
JESS opens the fridge and looks inside, tossing his Santa costume on the floor.
LUKE: Not yet. Liz didn't get it shipped back. But I called a few shipping companies and they're supposed to get back to me tomorrow. How was work?
JESS: Fine.
JESS pulls out the orange juice and drinks out of the bottle.
LUKE: You had a visitor today.
JESS: Let me guess.
He puts the orange juice back in the fridge and closes the door.
LUKE: She left her number.
JESS: Great.
LUKE: Here.
LUKE gives JESS a piece of paper. He folds it up and puts it in his shirt pocket. He picks up his Santa costume and heads towards his dresser. He grabs a bag off the floor and starts throwing clothes inside.
LUKE (CON'T): So I heard about Rory and Logan.
JESS: Yup.
LUKE: Lorelai mentioned it.
JESS: (packing) Figured.
LUKE: Aren't you happy?
JESS: You know what I'm even more happy about? The fact that since you're dating Lorelai, you know everything before I do, because Rory tells Lorelai and then she tells you. Then Rory tells me.
LUKE: I'm sorry Jess, I figured you already knew.
JESS: Oh I knew. I saw it happen.
LUKE: I didn't know.
JESS: He was yelling at her and he made her cry. I couldn't hear their conversation, but I got the gist.
JESS looks in his dresser mirror and begins putting gel in his hair.
LUKE: You going somewhere?
JESS: (putting gel in his hair) Yeah.
LUKE: It's twelve o' clock.
JESS lifts up his shirt and puts on deodorant.
JESS: Thanks, I didn't know how to read the clock.
LUKE: Where are you going?
JESS: Rory's.
LUKE: What's the bag for?
JESS sprays a small amount of cologne on his neck and shoulders.
JESS: Take a lucky guess.
LUKE: You're gonna sleep over?
JESS: You just figured out Blue's Clues.
JESS slings the bag over his shoulder and heads towards the door.
LUKE: Is Lorelai okay with this?
JESS: Does it matter?
LUKE: It's Lorelai's house.
JESS: And Rory's twenty-one! She doesn't need to ask permission anymore.
LUKE: This thing between Rory and Logan is so recent. Don't you think you should give Rory some time?
JESS: Time for what?
LUKE: Time to mourn!
JESS: No one died! They broke up! And now she has me.
LUKE: Rory's a lucky girl.
JESS: I'll see you in the morning.
JESS grabs his jacket and leaves.
CUT TO:
INT. RORY'S BEDROOM -- A SHORT WHILE LATER
JESS is lying in RORY'S bed covered with blankets reading a book. RORY stands in front of her dresser mirror wearing a nightgown. She is touching her stomach and frowning.
RORY: Jess?
JESS: (looking up from the book) Yeah?
RORY: Serious question?
JESS: (closing the book) What's up?
RORY: Don't lie, okay?
JESS: I won't.
RORY: Do you think I've gained weight?
JESS: Since when?
RORY: In the past couple months.
There is a pause. JESS thinks for a moment.
JESS: Honestly?
RORY: Honestly.
JESS: Yeah, you gained a few pounds.
RORY: That's what I thought. I'm so sorry.
JESS: Sorry for what?
RORY: I'm gonna lose it, I swear.
JESS: (looking at her like she's crazy) Why?
RORY: I've just been so stressed out lately...I've been eating too much. I'm gonna start exercising and I swear I'll lose weight. I wanna be attractive for you. I'm so sorry.
JESS: What are you talking about?
RORY: I look horrible.
JESS: (gesturing with his fingers) Come here.
RORY walks towards the bed. She sits down next to JESS. He sits up leans towards her.
JESS (CON'T): You look better now than you have ever have before.
RORY: You're just saying that.
JESS: I'm not. You might have gained weight, but you gained it in all the right places.
RORY: Really?
JESS: Any girl would kill for hips like that.
RORY: They're huge.
JESS: They're perfect.
JESS leans down and starts kissing up her thigh.
RORY: Are you sure you're still attracted to me?
JESS: (looking up) You want me to show you how attracted to you I am?
RORY smiles softly.
RORY: (quietly) You have work in the morning.
JESS sighs and sits up.
JESS: You're really broken up with Logan?
RORY: (nodding) Yes.
JESS: I'm sorry about the hickey.
RORY: It's not your fault.
There is a moment of silence.
JESS: So.
RORY: So.
JESS: When do I get my chance?
RORY: (smiling) You get it now.
JESS: So we're back together.
RORY: Back together.
JESS: No Dean, No Logan.
RORY: I'm all yours.
JESS smiles and kisses RORY hard.
CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN -- MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
LORELAI stands in the kitchen wearing a bathrobe drinking a glass of water. She takes a few sips then pours the remaining water into the sink. She puts the glass down on the counter and yawns. She begins to head back upstairs. She passes the bathroom and the light is on. JESS turns off the light and groggily walks out of the bathroom wearing boxers. He almost bumps into LORELAI.
LORELAI: (covering her eyes) Whoa. I'm sorry.
She closes her bathrobe.
LORELAI (CON'T): I guess I should have knocked before I walked through my own hallway.
JESS: I was just...
LORELAI: (shielding her eyes): It's okay. No need to explain.
JESS: You don't have to cover your eyes, I'm not naked.
LORELAI: (beginning to walk away, covering her eyes) No, that's quite okay. I wouldn't want you to see me in my underwear, so I'm sure that goes both ways.
JESS nods.
LORELAI (CON'T): (covering her eyes) Well I'm gonna go upstairs now...goodnight Jess.
JESS: Night.
LORELAI runs upstairs. JESS runs his fingers through his messy hair and walks back towards RORY'S room.
CUT TO:
INT. LORELAI'S KITCHEN -- MORNING
RORY sits at the kitchen table drinking some coffee, eating a donut, and reading the newspaper. LORELAI walks in dressed for work.
LORELAI: Good morning angel.
RORY: Good morning.
LORELAI: What are you eating?
RORY: A donut.
LORELAI: Since when do we have donuts?
RORY: Jess brought them over a little while ago.
LORELAI: Jess brought them over.
RORY: Yep.
LORELAI: That's funny.
RORY: Funny ha-ha?
LORELAI: Funny that I just saw him here a few hours ago and he already left and came back and left again. Jess has been here a lot lately.
RORY: Oh...yeah.
LORELAI: I imagine he told you about the incident.
RORY: He may have mentioned something.
LORELAI: Why didn't you tell me he was sleeping over?
RORY: I don't know.
LORELAI: Maybe you thought I'd get mad?
RORY: You don't tell me when Luke is sleeping over.
LORELAI: Luke and I are engaged. And Luke doesn't walk around the house in his underwear in the middle of the night.
RORY: He was using the bathroom.
LORELAI: Well I'm buying him a bathrobe for Christmas because I never want to see that again.
RORY: Are you mad?
LORELAI: At my twenty-one year old daughter who is not going to college and just broke up with her boyfriend for inviting a guy she knows I don't have the best track record with to sleep over my house? No, I'm not mad at all.
RORY: Please don't be mad.
LORELAI: Were you at least safe?
RORY: What? You don't think...no, Mom, it's not even like that we just slept. We were exhausted we had a long day at work- and after getting caught by grandma I was not in the mood for anything like that.
LORELAI: Are you sure?
RORY: Positive.
LORELAI: So you and Logan are broken up.
RORY: Right.
LORELAI sits down and grabs a donut.
LORELAI: And you and Jess are...
RORY: Together.
LORELAI: Together?
RORY: Yes.
LORELAI: As in exclusively together? No other guys?
RORY: No other guys.
LORELAI: Well...I'm happy for you.
RORY: Really?
LORELAI: Yes.
RORY: Thank you.
LORELAI: You're welcome.
There is a moment of silence.
LORELAI (CON'T): We need some ground rules.
RORY: What?
LORELAI: If you're going to date Jess and live in this house, there need to be some ground rules.
RORY: Like what?
LORELAI: No unauthorized sleepovers.
RORY: What?
LORELAI: I'm not saying he can't sleep over...but I just want you to run it by me first. I don't want another event like last night.
RORY: Fair enough.
LORELAI: No loud sex.
RORY: We're not even having sex! We only had sex that one night.
LORELAI: Well if you do. I don't want to hear it.
RORY: Got it.
LORELAI: You will call me when you're sleeping over Luke's so I don't stay up all night worrying.
RORY: Of course.
LORELAI: You will be careful. In every way. You won't let him hurt you again.
RORY: I won't.
LORELAI: And if he does, you give me permission to rip his head off.
RORY: Surely you can think of something more painful than that.
LORELAI smiles.
RORY (CON'T): I don't want you to think that just because Jess sleeps over we're having sex.
LORELAI: I know.
RORY: Logan and I did it all the time. That was the basis of our relationship. Jess and I are different. We have an intellectual relationship. And we're just getting to know each other again. Sex would make things way too complicated right now.
LORELAI: I'm glad to hear that.
RORY: But if and when we are. I will tell you before it happens. If you want me to.
LORELAI: I would like that.
RORY: (smiling) So you can go buy earplugs.
CUT TO:
INT. MALL CENTER -- DAY
The mall is crowded with people waiting to see Santa. Kids sit on JESS'S lap. RORY stands near the line handing out candy canes. SHANE and her son appear. SHANE walks towards RORY. JESS appears not to notice and continues working.
RORY: (happily) Hey!
SHANE: Hey, what are you doing here?
RORY: Community service...I'm Mrs. Claus.
SHANE: Community service? What did you do?
RORY: It's a long story.
SHANE: We all make mistakes. (whispers in her ear) Is that Jess?
RORY: Yeah.
SHANE: I barely recognized him with the beard.
RORY: (To GUS) Hi Gus, want a candy cane?
GUS hides behind SHANE'S leg.
SHANE: Don't be shy.
GUS takes the candy cane slowly.
SHANE (CON'T): Say thank you.
GUS: (quietly) Thank you.
SHANE: (smiling) He's so shy.
RORY: It's okay. In a few years you won't be able to get to him to stop talking.
SHANE: I know.
RORY: So you Christmas shopping?
SHANE: Actually I was looking for a job. I know the mall hires a lot of extra people this time of year and I just got fired from the place I was working.
RORY: That's terrible, how can they fire you at Christmas time?
SHANE: It happens.
RORY: Hey. I actually just came upon a pretty big sum of money. Why don't I buy some t-o-y-s for G-u-s? What does he want?
SHANE: Oh no, I couldn't accept that.
RORY: Come on. Let me at least buy him something.
SHANE smiles.
SHANE: If you insist. I'll give you my address.
RORY: Great.
SHANE pulls a pen and a scrap of paper out of her purse and scribbles her address on it. She hands the paper to RORY.
RORY (CON'T): Thanks. I should get back to work.
SHANE: Okay. Bye Rory. (to JESS) Bye Santa!
JESS turns to see SHANE and his eyes grow wide.
CUT TO:
EXT. ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE -- LATER THAT EVENING
LORELAI, LUKE, and RORY stand outside the front door. All are dressed very nicely.
LORELAI: You ring the doorbell.
RORY: Why should I ring the doorbell?
LORELAI: You're not the one who has to explain her engagement that she hid from her parents.
RORY: You're not the one who got caught making out with Jess in a bed.
LUKE: What?
LORELAI rings the doorbell. RORY gives her a dirty look.
LORELAI: I didn't want to have to be the one to explain that.
EMILY answers the door.
EMILY: Hello, hello, come in, come in.
The three enter. A maid takes their coats.
EMILY (CON'T): Luke it's a pleasure to see you again. I'm glad you could make it.
LUKE: I'm happy to be here.
EMILY leads them into the living room. RICHARD and a few other guests are sitting having drinks. They sit on the couch.
RICHARD: Hello Lorelai, Rory. Luke. (shaking his hand) Glad you could join us. Can I get you all a drink?
LORELAI: Martini shaken not stirred.
LUKE: I'll have a beer, thanks.
RICHARD: Rory, can I get you something?
RORY: Just some water would be fine.
RICHARD: Oh, you're old enough to drink now. Have a cocktail.
RORY: A water is fine.
RICHARD: Well all right. Lorelai, Rory, you both know Alan. Alan this is Luke Danes, Lorelai's fiancé.
LORELAI: (whispering to RORY) They've taken that well.
RORY: (whispering) A little too well if you ask me.
RICHARD continues to introduce the rest of the room. RORY gets up and walks over towards EMILY.
RORY (CON'T): Grandma, can I talk to you?
EMILY: Of course you can talk to me.
RORY: I'm sorry about what happened the other day.
EMILY: Rory...
RORY: And I don't think that Logan is coming tonight.
EMILY: Oh no? Is he sick?
RORY: No Grandma...Logan and I broke up.
EMILY: Oh. Well I'm sorry to hear that.
RORY: (taking a deep breath) I'm with Jess now.
EMILY'S expression is blank.
EMILY: Richard, would you bring me another glass of champagne please?
RORY: He's a really nice guy. I know you had a bad experience with him, but if you would just get to know him...
EMILY: (with a fake smile) You should go sit down Rory. It's not polite to have private conversations at a dinner party.
CUT TO:
EXT. ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE -- LATER
LORELAI, RORY, and LUKE come outside. LORELAI holds a bag of apple tarts and is eating one.
RORY: That was awful.
LORELAI: It wasn't that bad.
RORY: Besides the apple tarts.
LORELAI: Then it was awful.
LUKE: I don't get it. Everyone was nice to us. They seem to have taken the engagement pretty well.
LORELAI: (with a laugh) They're my parents. They don't take anything well. They're just too prim and proper and proud to get angry in front of all their friends. The fact that they didn't yell at me and take all their anger out on me tonight just means that they will have even more bottled up anger and resentment towards me the next time they see me.
RORY: I think I have a lot of future resentment coming myself. Grandma wouldn't even look at me when I told her I was with Jess.
LORELAI: (holding out the bag) Apple tart?
CUT TO:
INT. LORELAI'S HOUSE LIVING ROOM -- A FEW DAYS LATER
The living room is decorated and a large Christmas tree stands in the corner. LORELAI sits on the couch with PAUL ANKA, wrapping presents. Christmas Wrapping by The Waitresses plays in the background. RORY walks in.
LORELAI: Oh, don't look!
RORY: Oops.
RORY covers her eyes. LORELAI looks around.
LORELAI: Nevermind. This is all for Luke. You can look.
RORY: Ooh, what'd you get him?
LORELAI: Some clothes, new fishing poles, some new flannels, a gift card to Home Depot. Some other things.
RORY: All very Lukeish.
LORELAI: I thought so. What about you, what'd you get Jess?
RORY: It's a surprise.
LORELAI: Tell me!
RORY: I'll give you a hint. It has to do with the mysterious disappearance of that Rolls Royce in the driveway.
LORELAI: I was wondering where the luxury cars went. So you're giving Jess the Rolls.
RORY: No, but I gave Lane the Benz.
LORELAI: Really? And did she love it?
RORY: Zach wants to trade it in for a Hummer. He says only P. Diddy drives a Mercedes Benz.
LORELAI: Which made Lane even more thrilled about it.
RORY: Exactly.
LORELAI: So tell me what you got Jess.
RORY: No. It's Christmas Eve, you can wait one day. I might even give it to him tonight.
LORELAI: Speaking of tonight, do you have any plans?
RORY: Community service until six.
LORELAI: Well. Liz and TJ asked Luke to ask us if we would like to join them tonight for Christmas Eve dinner.
RORY: That sounds fun.
LORELAI: Really?
RORY: Yeah, why not?
LORELAI: Oh, no reason.
RORY: What?
LORELAI: You do know that Liz is Jess's mom, right?
RORY: So I've heard.
LORELAI: And you aren't at all nervous to meet her?
RORY: I've met her on several occasions.
LORELAI: You've met her briefly. And you weren't dating Jess. Now you're dating Jess and you're going to her house and you're going to have to make conversation with her and pretend to like her floral arrangements and compliment her cooking.
RORY: I'm still missing the scary part here. Just because you and Jess don't get along doesn't mean that Liz and I won't get along. She and I get along just fine. I gotta get going. I'll see you tonight?
LORELAI: Yep. Have fun.
RORY leaves. The doorbell rings. LORELAI gets up and answers it. KIRK stands at the door with a serious expression on his face.
LORELAI (CON'T): Hi Kirk.
KIRK: Hello Lorelai. I don't have time for idle chatter, so I'll get right to the point. As you know, tonight is the judging of the First Annual Stars Hollow House Decorating Contest.
LORELAI: Yes I am aware.
KIRK: I see that you have decorated your house quite a bit.
LORELAI: Yes we have.
KIRK: You don't stand a chance.
LORELAI: Well that's up for the judges to decide, isn't it?
KIRK: This decorating contest means everything to me.
LORELAI: Kirk, it's just a contest.
KIRK: Lulu is going to leave me if we don't win.
LORELAI : What?
KIRK: I haven't gotten her anything for Christmas.
LORELAI: What? Why not?
KIRK: I spent all my money on decorations and now it's Christmas Eve and I haven't gotten her anything.
LORELAI: Why don't you return some of the decorations you bought and buy her something?
KIRK: Then you'll beat me.
LORELAI: Kirk, Christmas isn't about winning a contest. It's about being with the people you love and doing nice things for them. It doesn't necessarily mean spending money on them. But it is nice to buy something special for that special person in your life.
KIRK: Return the decorations and buy Lulu a present.
LORELAI: So crazy it just might work.
KIRK: Thanks Lorelai. You're a great friend.
LORELAI: Uh, no problem Kirk. Merry Christmas.
KIRK: You should say Happy Holidays. It's more politically correct.
LORELAI: Goodbye Kirk.
CUT TO:
INT. SHANE'S APARTMENT -- AFTERNOON
There is a small kitchen connected to a living room with a couch, TV, and a small Christmas tree in the corner. A few toys are scattered along the floor. SHANE sits on the couch watching TV while GUS colors in a coloring book on the floor. There is a KNOCK at the door. SHANE gets up and answers the door. RORY stands at the door in her Mrs. Claus costume holding a big red bag of presents.
RORY: Merry Christmas!
SHANE gasps.
SHANE: Those aren't all for us.
RORY: Yes they are. Now lead me to your room so we can hide them before he sees them.
SHANE: This isn't fair.
RORY: What isn't fair...by the way, can I come in?
SHANE: Of course.
RORY comes in and SHANE closes the door behind her.
SHANE (CON'T): My room is this way.
SHANE leads RORY into a bedroom and closes the door halfway.
RORY: Where should I put these?
SHANE: On the bed is fine...he won't look in here.
RORY drops the bag on the bed. SHANE sits on the bed and wipes her eyes.
RORY: What's wrong?
SHANE: I don't know what to say. This is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.
RORY: Don't say that. I just went out and bought some presents. They were all on sale, I promise.
SHANE: I never did anything nice for you. And here you are helping me in my time of need. You should hate me.
RORY: Well I don't.
SHANE: God bless you Rory. Jess is so lucky to have you.
RORY: Thank you.
SHANE: Hey...I know it's really last minute, and you guys probably have plans...never mind.
RORY: What?
SHANE: Well. If you aren't busy tonight...which I'm sure you are...there's this thing at my church, this live nativity scene. I'm playing the Virgin Mary. I'm sure Jess would have something to say about that. Anyway, if you aren't busy, you should come. It's really nice, and it's only about an hour. You could bring Jess with you.
RORY: What time?
SHANE: Seven. Don't worry about it, I'm sure you're busy. I just thought I'd invite you.
RORY: We'll be there. Both of us.
SHANE: (smiling) Great. I think Jess would really like it.
RORY: I think so too.
CUT TO:
INT. LUKE'S APARTMENT -- EVENING
RORY is dressed up nicely. JESS is dressed casually. They are arguing.
JESS: I'm not going!
RORY: Why not?
JESS: Because I don't like her!
RORY: What did she ever do to you?
JESS: Do you really want me to answer that?
RORY: No, I just want you to come.
JESS: I don't want to see her.
RORY: Why not?
JESS: Because I don't.
RORY: Do you still have feelings for her?
JESS: I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that.
RORY: Well, what is it then? Tell me!
JESS: Since when did Shane become your best friend? Why didn't you tell me you were hanging out with her?
RORY: Oh yeah, like we hang out every day. We've hung out twice Jess. Once because I gave her a copy of your book and today I went to see her because I brought presents to her son.
JESS'S expression fades.
JESS: Her what?
RORY: Her son Jess, she has a son. His name is Gus.
JESS: You know about her son?
RORY: Of course I know about her-Jess, it's six-fifty five are you coming or not? Because if you're not coming then that's fine, but don't expect me to come to your mom's house tonight either.
There is a moment of silence.
JESS: (quietly) I hate fighting with you.
RORY: (quietly) I know.
JESS: (grabbing his jacket) Let's go.