Hey all,
Sorry it took so incredibly long to get this chapter out. My muse decided to take off and left me hanging. Plus, a lot has been happening. I took my CAHSEE's (California High School Exit Exam) and was completely insulted by the entire thing- 2 days of worth of testing English and Mathematics for 3 hours straight- seriously, this test was sooooo easy! If we didn't have to stop at those ridiculous intermissions, I would've finished with an hour and a half to spare. Honestly! Apparently California high school students have been having a hard time passing the darn thing, so they made it a cinch to pass. But is it really necessary to make it at kindergarten level? (exaggeration, of course) So that's one of my excuses why I haven't updated. Wanna hear the second?
Audience: NO, not really. Just get on with the story.........
Shiroryu: Hey! It's REALLY good.
Audience: We don't particularly care.
Shiroryu: The more you resist, the longer I'll ask "are you sure?" and then we'll never get to the story.........
Audience: Fine, if you must.........
Shiroryu: Just found out my mom is pregnant!!!
Audience: Aww......... Ok, that was worth the wait. Congratulations!
Shiroryu: Thanks. It's a boy. I'm so excited. It'll be the first boy in the family, save for my father. I have 2 younger sisters: Saffron Spice-13, and Alexis-6. I'm ecstatic. So much in fact, that I'm gonna get on with the story. Right after my shout-outs
Audience: Thank you.
Shiroryu: You're welcome.
*
Dark of Stars- you? Lazy? NEVER! Not exactly sure what an "asphyxiation" is, but it doesn't sound too good. So why don't you hold off on that until AFTER this story is done. Then you can have as many "asphyxiations" as you want.
*
crazy4dogboi- sure I'll check out your story. As soon as I have time. Actually I was thinking of putting that song in here. But I don't think you'll like who'll be singing that song. Jeez, I don't think I'll like who'll be singing that song.
*
Lalena- *hands Lalena a tissue* I'm not quite so sure it's a good thing that you're as twisted as this story is. Cuz that means you're as twisted as I am. And the mental institution is looking for me. So I wouldn't tell too many people how twisted you are. Glad Jorj liked the story too. I think Myron and Reese (my pet monkeys) would like to meet an invisible horse. They get so excited so easy. Anyways, have fun digging your hole. Make sure you bring me back some orange chicken.
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SM together- I meant for her to be that way.
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Terra Secora- No, it's definitely the water. No doubt about it. I should know. I drank it.
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Jochnap- *switches light bulb over Jochnap's head off* Don't even wanna go there.
*
Kenny –D- holy crab cakes! What is with you people? Are you and Queen of All Chipmunks the presidents of "Evil Rodents United" or something? Rabid squirrels? Anyways, I know this wasn't updated as quickly as it should've been, but my reasons were legit. This one's especially for you (and everyone else who reviewed.0 Don't you feel special?
*
chevere- so you liked Inuyasha getting drunk better than Miroku in his Ricky Martin outfit? Well, I'm pleased that I could bring you joy and make it very difficult for you to keep up your façade of normalcy. My work is complete.
*
seikkyokuka- Inuyasha with a hangover. Now there's a thought. Evil, but the potential hilarious outcomes are nearly too irresistible for me.
*
xo-Kagome-ox- THE funniest?! Really? No lie?! Well, I have no idea how to respond to that, except thanks! Really happy that you're enjoying yourself. Thanks again!
*
Briea- we are gonna have to do something about that. How unfortunate would that be to electrocute yourself because you were laughing so hard over a keyboard and cried on it? And as for what you said in Spanish: .........O_O? You know I hate speaking Spanish. After I accidentally called my teacher a whore while trying to say the word boot, I have been forever hesitant to talk or write in the language.
*
daddys lil angel- you want me to bring the noodles back? Well, I'll see what I can do.
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Disclaimer: I am so tired. I've decided to declare that I do not own Inuyasha. He's just on loan. But I know he really wants to stay with me. Inuyasha loves me.........
Don't look at me like that.
He does.
Oh, screw you all!
*
A/N: And now for the highly anticipated, long awaited, Inuyasha-integrated, (probably overrated) next chapter of "There's Gotta Be Something In The Water"
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Kagura looked out across the courtyard. "I hate it here." She said softly. She twiddled around with the feather in her hair, looking as bored as can be.
"Kagura........." she turned around to see her sister's deadpanned expression.
"What Kanna?" she asked exasperated. Even though Kanna was older than her, the girl looked no older than 8 years old. She never spoke, unless it was necessary. And even then, it was short sentences. To sum up, Kanna freaked Kagura out.
"Naraku wants to see us." With that, Kanna walked slowly towards Naraku's main quarters as her sister followed.
"What does he want?" Kagura asked. She was answered in silence. "Nice." She thought. After 3 or 4 minutes of walking, they finally got to the door that opened to their master/father's chambers. They knocked and heard a voice within call out, "come in". As soon as Kagura opened the door, thousand upon thousand of creepy crawlies swarmed over their feet. Worms, beetles, snakes.........just flat out gross.
"Eww!!! That's disgusting." Kagura said as she made a move to step on a particularly nasty looking beetle. To her great surprise and horror, the darn thing caught her foot to keep it from smashing him, looked up, and said, "Well, you're not that great looking either." With a toss, he pushed her foot to the side and kept scuttling across the floor.
Kagura: O_o?
Kanna: -_- .........
"Jeez, Naraku. That's gross." Kagura stated.
"Just shut up and come here." Naraku barked. She rolled her eyes and grudgingly trudged forward. "So, what dirty work are we being sent out to do this time? Kill Inuyasha? Destroy Inuyasha? Eliminate Inuyasha? Get some milk?"
"Your attempts at humor annoy me." Naraku hissed. Without any warning, Kagura's beating heart was squished inside of her chest. Coughing and spluttering as she writhed on the ground, she made a desperate try to save her life. "I'm- sor-sorry." She gasped out. Her master stared at her with the look of utter distaste strewn across his face before he dropped the bloody heart back in its container, creating a chain effect that released Kagura from certain death.
"That will teach you to watch your mouth." With no further thought to his servant, he turned to Kanna. "I have figured out how to beat Inuyasha."
"Like we haven't heard that one before." Kagura thought.
"What was that?" Naraku glared at her.
"Nothing." She answered. "What a bastard." She thought.
"Do you need another lesson?"
"What the heck is this moron talking about?" she thought. "No." she replied.
Kanna walked slowly over to her sister. In a small voice, she said, "You are fully aware that you're thinking out loud, right?"
"........."
"I didn't think so." Kanna sighed. And people wondered why she didn't speak so much? Honestly. Her sister was probably schizophrenic, her so called father had multiple personalities, was a kleptomaniac, and kept producing kids with abnormalities, with no mother to speak of. Her last "brother" turned out to be xenophobic and tried to kill them all. Her second to last "sister" was afraid of the color yellow. In her opinion, Kanna was the only fairly normal one. Yes, she had a disturbing love of shiny, pointy objects and fire, but being a pyromaniac wasn't something most people knew about her, so there really wasn't a problem.
She snapped out of her thoughts when Naraku handed her a glass full of water. "What's this?" Kagura asked as she peered suspiciously into her own glass.
"Water. Can't you tell?" Was Naraku's reply.
"What's wrong with it?"
"Your ungrateful attitude is trying."
"Sorry."
Naraku rolled his eyes. "As I was saying, I know how we're gonna defeat Inuyasha."
"........."
"Glad you asked." He said sarcastically. "We're going to attack Kagome."
"How?"
"At night. She's Inuyasha's heart. If we can get to her, we can win. Plus, I can take out my revenge on her for what Kikyo did to me."
"What did she ever do to him?" Kagura thought.
"You're thinking out loud again, stupid."
"Bastard."
"You did it again."
"Meant it that time."
"Wanna die?"
"No."
"Then shut up."
"........."
"How do we do it?" Kanna asked, to keep the peace. Jeez, these people were making her talk more in the last 10 minutes than she had all week.
"We're gonna get into her head. Give her nightmares. And while she's under our control, we attack the unsuspecting group."
"So, how'd you come up with that one?" Kagura inquired. Naraku gave her an evil grin (although any time that man smiles, it's evil) "I'm so pleased you asked."
He gulped the last of the water he had poured himself. Suddenly his dark, musty chamber was filled with murky looking fog. Naraku was completely hidden in it. Kagura looked at her sister, but quickly averted her eyes when she heard something so unimaginably random and psychotic, it made her head swim.
"In the dark of the night
I was tossing and turning.
And the nightmare I had was a bad as could be
It scared me out of my wits
A corpse falling to bits
Then I opened my eyes
And the nightmare was me!"
Kagura's eyes got wide as she spluttered for the second time that day. "Wha- ?" Before she could finish her sentence, some of the smoke cleared away to reveal Naraku walking forward, outfit completely changed. He was wearing a long, black cloak and his eyes were closed. Now, Kagura wouldn't have been so very worried if the long, black cloak were just a regular long, black cloak. There's nothing wrong with Naraku wearing a long, black cloak. Nothing at all. Until someone sprinkles glittery sequences all over said long black cloak. That's when you know something's wrong.
Kagura was about to inadvertently voice this observation when Naraku's eyes shot open to stare at her. Startled, she kept her mouth shut.
Maybe she should've said something.........
"I was once the most corrupted man
In all Japan
When Kikyo denied me she made a mistake
I'll make everyone pay
But one little girl's in the way
Little Kagome beware
Naraku's aware!"
Kagura's eyes got even wider (as if it were possible) She wanted to say something. Really, she did. But for some reason, the words just wouldn't come out of her mouth.
Hmm.........
Now what could make Kagura shut up?
HAVE YOU NOT BEEN PAYING ATTENTION TO ANYTHING?!?!?! NARAKU IS SINGING!!!
SINGING!!!
SINGING!!!
Yes, we realize when Inuyasha sung, that was pretty bad. But at least he was drunk. What's Naraku's deal? This goes WAY beyond mood swings. This was flat out evil incarnate. Kagura opened and closed her mouth, trying to find something to say, and looking like a dying fish as a result. So what happened next made her look like a fish having a seizure
"In the dark of the night
Evil will find her
In the dark of the night
She shall fall short"
Um.........
Remember that beetle at the beginning? And how he talked to Kagura. Well, as of that moment, he had scuttled back into the room with the rest of his fellow disgusting things and.........
They.........
They sung.........
I swear, they were singing.........
Obvious, talking wasn't the only thing that beetle could do.
Yelch.........
Naraku, being completely unfazed by the singing insects around his feet, went on in his baritone voice,
"Revenge will be sweet
When my work is complete.
In the dark of the night
She'll be gone!"
During this whole ordeal, Kanna had stayed silent and emotionless. Now you must really ask yourself, "Self, how on earth can a person not have any emotion whatsoever while listening this evil Naraku sing?"
Answer:.........I have no idea.
Kagura, on the other hand, was far from being "cool, calm and collected" She blinked in surprise at first, as any one else her predicament would. Then, she felt her own head, to make sure she wasn't running a fever. She left her hand on her head as she watched Naraku flex his fists and looked at them in wonder. Kagura knew he was slowly regaining the powers of the demons he had lost for a while after the jewel had disappeared 50 years ago. But was there any real need to voice that aloud?
Apparently, Naraku felt there was.
"I can feel that my powers are slowly returning
Time I sash
And a dash of cologne
For that smell.........
As the pieces fall into place
I'll see her crawl into place
Sayonara Kagome, your grace
Farewell........."
Kagura finally took her hand off her head. To fully assess the situation, she needed to be completely alert. So once she was done assessing, she figured out one and only one thing. Naraku had lost his mind.
His 6-legged minions obviously didn't share the opinion, as they were crawling up the walls in synchronization. The bugs were actually dancing! Some were doing the Charlie Brown, others were perfecting the fine art of the can-can, and some were break-dancing.
Yes friends, break-dancing.
One had a terrible mini wig on that resembled something one might see on an old episode of the Brady Bunch. After Naraku had sung his little bit, the insects did back up.
"In the dark of the night
Terror will find her
("Terror's the least I can do!" Naraku rung out.)
In the dark of the night
Evil will brew!"
Kagura: *blink, blink*
Naraku suddenly jumped up on the chair in the room to get a better view of everyone. He spread his arms out wide and actually twirled around. As if that was unfortunate enough to read about, much less see, poor Kagura witnessed the long, black cloak's shiny sequences glittering all over the place. Then, Naraku clutched his hands to his chest and sang:
"Soon she shall feel
That her nightmares are real
In the dark of the night
She'll be through!"
Kanna: -_-.........
The bugs continued to crawl around in harmony, making the carpet look like it was alive. Just when Kagura thought it could get no worse, it did.
How?
A strobe light.
Yes, a strobe began going off, giving the entire ordeal a sort of surreal look (as if it wasn't freaky enough on its own.........)
Now, you might be wondering, where might one find a strobe light in the middle of the feudal era of Japan?
Answer: ......... Yet again, I have no idea.
"In the dark of the night
Evil will find her
("Find her!" The bug with the bad Brady Bunch wig belted out)
"In the dark of the night
Terror shall doom!
("Doom her!" Let's call the bug with the wig Frank, OK?)
Kagura impatiently tapped her foot on the ground. Alright, now that the initial shock had more than just worn off, this was getting old. (And that blasted strobe light was starting to make her feel tipsy.........) She sighed heavily as Naraku started the next verse of his evilly psychotic musical
"My dear, here's a sign
It's the end of the line
In the dark of the night
("In the dark of the night........." Frank sang)
Kanna too was growing weary of all of this. She wanted more than anything to just leave and find a nice rock to talk to.........
Er.........
Scratch that last remark.........
She and Kagura had had enough and sorely wanted it to end. They felt they couldn't be surprised anymore than they had been. So imagine their terror and how traumatized they were later on in their lives when Naraku reached inside of one of his cabinets to reveal a long, black (thankfully unlike Naraku's cloak: non-glittery) cylinder. He looked at Kagura's confused expression and decided to explain himself for once. "I received this from the Dark Forces."
Kagura cocked an eyebrow, "Aren't YOU the 'Dark Forces'?"
Naraku: *blink, blink* "Well, yes. I am."
"So you just gave it to yourself?"
"Maybe one of his many personalities gave it to him." Kanna thought to herself. Unlike her sister though, she was able to keep the thought inside of her head.
Kagura watched Naraku impatiently, wondering whether or not he was gonna answer the question.
Instead of answering, Naraku glowered, turned around, and talked to his little present from himself.
Kagura: O_o?
He suddenly threw open the top and spread his arms out wide as he struck up his ridiculously long tune again.
"Come my minions
Rise for your master
Let your evil shine!"
Out of the cylinder came Naraku's "minions"
Was it something terrible?
(Not particularly.)
Something evil?
(I wouldn't use that word.)
Something unimaginable?
(Oh yeah.........)
Naraku's wicked minions from hell turned out to be none other than...
.........
.........
The local woodland pixies.
Not a snake.
Not an incurable virus.
Not even anything with fangs.
Pixies.
Kagura: O_o?
Naraku threw his head back and laughed insanely as the pixies flew all around him. Bright reds, oranges, yellows, blues, greens, and purples contrasted horribly with the drab, gloomy interior of the room. One particularly pissed pixie (aren't alliterations fun?) whizzed by Kagura's nose, barely missing it. It landed in front of Naraku with a sour look on its face.
Now, before I go on, let me explain that pixies are usually very peaceful, nice creatures. They always have smiles on their faces, magic in their hands, and a tune in their hearts. Just all around friendly creatures.
Got a mental image of a pixie?
Good.
"Naraku," the pixie in front of him started. "What the $%&* do you think your @$$ is &*#$ doing? I was just *#%&$ sitting there, minding my own &#!$% business when you and your sorry $%^&* comes along and %&*^$ my #@%&^ !!! You piece of @#$%!!!" the pixie roared.
Word of advice: Don't tick off a pixie.
Naraku stood there silently while he received verbal whiplash from a 6- inch, rainbow clad , potty mouthed, magical person. After the pixie quieted down bit, he took the opportunity to speak. "I'll say this once, and only once. If you agree to work with me, to do my biddings, and serve me, I will give you back the lands the fairies and the elves stole from you during the War of the Charmed. You will once again the be the supreme rulers of the surreal realm, answering only to me."
The pixie stared at Naraku like he'd lost his mind. "And tell me, you *&$%, how do you presume to retake the land we've been struggling to control for eons?"
Naraku smiled widely. "Four words: The Shikon no Tama."
"The Jewel of Four Souls?" The pixie asked incredulously.
"Yes." He reached in his pocket to show over half of said jewel. "With the power I'll gain, I can do anything."
The pixie looked at it doubtful. "It's not even whole yet."
"It will be soon enough. The question isn't when I'll finish it. The real question is, whose side will you be on when I do?"
The pixie scratched its chin in deep thought for a few moments. The rest had long since stopped buzzing around the room and had seated themselves in various places, including one who had accidentally fell while sitting on the edge of a large glass jar with something pickled and green inside. While it spluttered around in who knows what, its leader was finished contemplating.
With a slightly suspicious look, it offered its hand out to Naraku, and saying with much dignity, "We have an accord."
Happily, Naraku shook back.
"What will you have us do, Master Naraku?" One of the pixies spoke up.
With a glimmer of malevolence in his eyes, he asked simply, "Have you heard of the priestess Kikyo's reincarnation?"
"The one that travels with the half breed, son of the great dog demon from long ago and brother to Sesshomaru, Lord of the Western Lands?"
"You're talking about my sworn enemy, Inuyasha. Yes, that's him. But I speak of the reincarnation, Kagome."
"Yes, we know of her."
"Then go, give her a visit. One she'll never forget."
One of the pixies dressed in all yellow looked confused. "Shall we bring a gift?"
"A gift? Why?"
"Well, aren't you supposed to bring a gift whenever you visit a human?" the pixie asked with great concern.
"No! Just go and kill her!"
"Wait a minute, I thought you said you wanted us to visit her!" the lemon colored pixie protested.
"I did." Naraku said, getting exasperated.
"The why would we visit her if we're gonna kill her? That's not right!"
Naraku rolled his eyes. "Fine. Don't visit it. Just kill her."
"But we don't even know her!"
"So?"
"So, that's so mean! What did she ever do to us?"
Was anybody wondering why the pixies lost the War of the Charmed? You shouldn't be.
"She didn't do anything to you!" Naraku yelled.
"So, why on earth should we kill her? That's like going up to an old lady and whacking off her head. Or stealing her wig. It's just not right!"
Trying not to kill his newly acquired legion, Naraku took a deep breath. "OK, listen. Why don't you go out and find flowers for Kagome while the rest go and visit her? That way you can bring her a present."
"But I thought you said-"
"FORGET IT!!!" Naraku roared. "Just go to and find her a.........uh.........black rose."
"Aren't those the most rare flower on earth?"
"Yes."
"How am I supposed to find it? Wouldn't it be better to give her a daisy or something?"
"NO. She must have a black rose. She's very special. I saw one, one day."
"Where?"
"It was that way." Naraku pointed east.
"OK." With that, the yellow pixie zoomed off toward where Naraku was pointed. After the pixie scraped itself off the wall after hurtling itself into it, it decided to use the door. Naraku turned to the other pixies. "Are any more of you that stupid?"
They all shook their heads.
"Excellent. Then I want you to go and kill Kagome!!!"
Nodding their heads, they all took to the air and flew around the room, making the color along with the strobe light, almost unbearable to watch without losing an eye. With an evil laugh, Naraku threw his hands in the air and resumed where he left off in his seemingly never-ending song.
"Find her now
Yes, fly ever faster!"
Now, everyone in the room joined in. (save for Kanna and Kagura) The beetles sung alto. The pixies covered soprano. And Naraku took care of tenor.
"In the dark of the night
In the dark of the night
In the dark of the night.........
("She'll be gone!" Naraku sung)
And with the end of the song, the pixies soared out in an evil rainbow cloud. The insects scampered over everyone's feet to get back outside.
Kanna, Kagura, and Naraku were the only ones left in the room. Naraku gave them a look, poured himself some water, titled the glass towards them, and drunk.
"Aah........." he sighed. He picked up a couple of his voodoo dolls and walked out the room.
Kagura and Kanna simultaneously looked at each other.
Kagura: O_o?
Kanna: O_o?
Then they both looked in the glasses of water they were still holding and gave it a good sniff. Without a word, they both held their glasses away from the and overturned the whole cup, letting the water splash to the ground.
"There's gotta be something in this water." Kagura thought.
"I agree." Kanna said.
* * * So, whatcha think? Again, I apologize for the major delay. If I had it my way, I'd update everyday other day for you guys. But, seeing as how that's not exactly an option, I'm doing the best I can. So, there ya go. BTW, I'm gonna go and see The Prince and Me, and Ella Enchanted, (has anyone else read that book? If not, then you should. If so, then isn't it great?) Can somebody please tell me when The Prince and Me comes out. I'm so very confused.
Sorry it took so incredibly long to get this chapter out. My muse decided to take off and left me hanging. Plus, a lot has been happening. I took my CAHSEE's (California High School Exit Exam) and was completely insulted by the entire thing- 2 days of worth of testing English and Mathematics for 3 hours straight- seriously, this test was sooooo easy! If we didn't have to stop at those ridiculous intermissions, I would've finished with an hour and a half to spare. Honestly! Apparently California high school students have been having a hard time passing the darn thing, so they made it a cinch to pass. But is it really necessary to make it at kindergarten level? (exaggeration, of course) So that's one of my excuses why I haven't updated. Wanna hear the second?
Audience: NO, not really. Just get on with the story.........
Shiroryu: Hey! It's REALLY good.
Audience: We don't particularly care.
Shiroryu: The more you resist, the longer I'll ask "are you sure?" and then we'll never get to the story.........
Audience: Fine, if you must.........
Shiroryu: Just found out my mom is pregnant!!!
Audience: Aww......... Ok, that was worth the wait. Congratulations!
Shiroryu: Thanks. It's a boy. I'm so excited. It'll be the first boy in the family, save for my father. I have 2 younger sisters: Saffron Spice-13, and Alexis-6. I'm ecstatic. So much in fact, that I'm gonna get on with the story. Right after my shout-outs
Audience: Thank you.
Shiroryu: You're welcome.
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Dark of Stars- you? Lazy? NEVER! Not exactly sure what an "asphyxiation" is, but it doesn't sound too good. So why don't you hold off on that until AFTER this story is done. Then you can have as many "asphyxiations" as you want.
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crazy4dogboi- sure I'll check out your story. As soon as I have time. Actually I was thinking of putting that song in here. But I don't think you'll like who'll be singing that song. Jeez, I don't think I'll like who'll be singing that song.
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Lalena- *hands Lalena a tissue* I'm not quite so sure it's a good thing that you're as twisted as this story is. Cuz that means you're as twisted as I am. And the mental institution is looking for me. So I wouldn't tell too many people how twisted you are. Glad Jorj liked the story too. I think Myron and Reese (my pet monkeys) would like to meet an invisible horse. They get so excited so easy. Anyways, have fun digging your hole. Make sure you bring me back some orange chicken.
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SM together- I meant for her to be that way.
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Terra Secora- No, it's definitely the water. No doubt about it. I should know. I drank it.
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Jochnap- *switches light bulb over Jochnap's head off* Don't even wanna go there.
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Kenny –D- holy crab cakes! What is with you people? Are you and Queen of All Chipmunks the presidents of "Evil Rodents United" or something? Rabid squirrels? Anyways, I know this wasn't updated as quickly as it should've been, but my reasons were legit. This one's especially for you (and everyone else who reviewed.0 Don't you feel special?
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chevere- so you liked Inuyasha getting drunk better than Miroku in his Ricky Martin outfit? Well, I'm pleased that I could bring you joy and make it very difficult for you to keep up your façade of normalcy. My work is complete.
*
seikkyokuka- Inuyasha with a hangover. Now there's a thought. Evil, but the potential hilarious outcomes are nearly too irresistible for me.
*
xo-Kagome-ox- THE funniest?! Really? No lie?! Well, I have no idea how to respond to that, except thanks! Really happy that you're enjoying yourself. Thanks again!
*
Briea- we are gonna have to do something about that. How unfortunate would that be to electrocute yourself because you were laughing so hard over a keyboard and cried on it? And as for what you said in Spanish: .........O_O? You know I hate speaking Spanish. After I accidentally called my teacher a whore while trying to say the word boot, I have been forever hesitant to talk or write in the language.
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daddys lil angel- you want me to bring the noodles back? Well, I'll see what I can do.
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Disclaimer: I am so tired. I've decided to declare that I do not own Inuyasha. He's just on loan. But I know he really wants to stay with me. Inuyasha loves me.........
Don't look at me like that.
He does.
Oh, screw you all!
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A/N: And now for the highly anticipated, long awaited, Inuyasha-integrated, (probably overrated) next chapter of "There's Gotta Be Something In The Water"
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Kagura looked out across the courtyard. "I hate it here." She said softly. She twiddled around with the feather in her hair, looking as bored as can be.
"Kagura........." she turned around to see her sister's deadpanned expression.
"What Kanna?" she asked exasperated. Even though Kanna was older than her, the girl looked no older than 8 years old. She never spoke, unless it was necessary. And even then, it was short sentences. To sum up, Kanna freaked Kagura out.
"Naraku wants to see us." With that, Kanna walked slowly towards Naraku's main quarters as her sister followed.
"What does he want?" Kagura asked. She was answered in silence. "Nice." She thought. After 3 or 4 minutes of walking, they finally got to the door that opened to their master/father's chambers. They knocked and heard a voice within call out, "come in". As soon as Kagura opened the door, thousand upon thousand of creepy crawlies swarmed over their feet. Worms, beetles, snakes.........just flat out gross.
"Eww!!! That's disgusting." Kagura said as she made a move to step on a particularly nasty looking beetle. To her great surprise and horror, the darn thing caught her foot to keep it from smashing him, looked up, and said, "Well, you're not that great looking either." With a toss, he pushed her foot to the side and kept scuttling across the floor.
Kagura: O_o?
Kanna: -_- .........
"Jeez, Naraku. That's gross." Kagura stated.
"Just shut up and come here." Naraku barked. She rolled her eyes and grudgingly trudged forward. "So, what dirty work are we being sent out to do this time? Kill Inuyasha? Destroy Inuyasha? Eliminate Inuyasha? Get some milk?"
"Your attempts at humor annoy me." Naraku hissed. Without any warning, Kagura's beating heart was squished inside of her chest. Coughing and spluttering as she writhed on the ground, she made a desperate try to save her life. "I'm- sor-sorry." She gasped out. Her master stared at her with the look of utter distaste strewn across his face before he dropped the bloody heart back in its container, creating a chain effect that released Kagura from certain death.
"That will teach you to watch your mouth." With no further thought to his servant, he turned to Kanna. "I have figured out how to beat Inuyasha."
"Like we haven't heard that one before." Kagura thought.
"What was that?" Naraku glared at her.
"Nothing." She answered. "What a bastard." She thought.
"Do you need another lesson?"
"What the heck is this moron talking about?" she thought. "No." she replied.
Kanna walked slowly over to her sister. In a small voice, she said, "You are fully aware that you're thinking out loud, right?"
"........."
"I didn't think so." Kanna sighed. And people wondered why she didn't speak so much? Honestly. Her sister was probably schizophrenic, her so called father had multiple personalities, was a kleptomaniac, and kept producing kids with abnormalities, with no mother to speak of. Her last "brother" turned out to be xenophobic and tried to kill them all. Her second to last "sister" was afraid of the color yellow. In her opinion, Kanna was the only fairly normal one. Yes, she had a disturbing love of shiny, pointy objects and fire, but being a pyromaniac wasn't something most people knew about her, so there really wasn't a problem.
She snapped out of her thoughts when Naraku handed her a glass full of water. "What's this?" Kagura asked as she peered suspiciously into her own glass.
"Water. Can't you tell?" Was Naraku's reply.
"What's wrong with it?"
"Your ungrateful attitude is trying."
"Sorry."
Naraku rolled his eyes. "As I was saying, I know how we're gonna defeat Inuyasha."
"........."
"Glad you asked." He said sarcastically. "We're going to attack Kagome."
"How?"
"At night. She's Inuyasha's heart. If we can get to her, we can win. Plus, I can take out my revenge on her for what Kikyo did to me."
"What did she ever do to him?" Kagura thought.
"You're thinking out loud again, stupid."
"Bastard."
"You did it again."
"Meant it that time."
"Wanna die?"
"No."
"Then shut up."
"........."
"How do we do it?" Kanna asked, to keep the peace. Jeez, these people were making her talk more in the last 10 minutes than she had all week.
"We're gonna get into her head. Give her nightmares. And while she's under our control, we attack the unsuspecting group."
"So, how'd you come up with that one?" Kagura inquired. Naraku gave her an evil grin (although any time that man smiles, it's evil) "I'm so pleased you asked."
He gulped the last of the water he had poured himself. Suddenly his dark, musty chamber was filled with murky looking fog. Naraku was completely hidden in it. Kagura looked at her sister, but quickly averted her eyes when she heard something so unimaginably random and psychotic, it made her head swim.
"In the dark of the night
I was tossing and turning.
And the nightmare I had was a bad as could be
It scared me out of my wits
A corpse falling to bits
Then I opened my eyes
And the nightmare was me!"
Kagura's eyes got wide as she spluttered for the second time that day. "Wha- ?" Before she could finish her sentence, some of the smoke cleared away to reveal Naraku walking forward, outfit completely changed. He was wearing a long, black cloak and his eyes were closed. Now, Kagura wouldn't have been so very worried if the long, black cloak were just a regular long, black cloak. There's nothing wrong with Naraku wearing a long, black cloak. Nothing at all. Until someone sprinkles glittery sequences all over said long black cloak. That's when you know something's wrong.
Kagura was about to inadvertently voice this observation when Naraku's eyes shot open to stare at her. Startled, she kept her mouth shut.
Maybe she should've said something.........
"I was once the most corrupted man
In all Japan
When Kikyo denied me she made a mistake
I'll make everyone pay
But one little girl's in the way
Little Kagome beware
Naraku's aware!"
Kagura's eyes got even wider (as if it were possible) She wanted to say something. Really, she did. But for some reason, the words just wouldn't come out of her mouth.
Hmm.........
Now what could make Kagura shut up?
HAVE YOU NOT BEEN PAYING ATTENTION TO ANYTHING?!?!?! NARAKU IS SINGING!!!
SINGING!!!
SINGING!!!
Yes, we realize when Inuyasha sung, that was pretty bad. But at least he was drunk. What's Naraku's deal? This goes WAY beyond mood swings. This was flat out evil incarnate. Kagura opened and closed her mouth, trying to find something to say, and looking like a dying fish as a result. So what happened next made her look like a fish having a seizure
"In the dark of the night
Evil will find her
In the dark of the night
She shall fall short"
Um.........
Remember that beetle at the beginning? And how he talked to Kagura. Well, as of that moment, he had scuttled back into the room with the rest of his fellow disgusting things and.........
They.........
They sung.........
I swear, they were singing.........
Obvious, talking wasn't the only thing that beetle could do.
Yelch.........
Naraku, being completely unfazed by the singing insects around his feet, went on in his baritone voice,
"Revenge will be sweet
When my work is complete.
In the dark of the night
She'll be gone!"
During this whole ordeal, Kanna had stayed silent and emotionless. Now you must really ask yourself, "Self, how on earth can a person not have any emotion whatsoever while listening this evil Naraku sing?"
Answer:.........I have no idea.
Kagura, on the other hand, was far from being "cool, calm and collected" She blinked in surprise at first, as any one else her predicament would. Then, she felt her own head, to make sure she wasn't running a fever. She left her hand on her head as she watched Naraku flex his fists and looked at them in wonder. Kagura knew he was slowly regaining the powers of the demons he had lost for a while after the jewel had disappeared 50 years ago. But was there any real need to voice that aloud?
Apparently, Naraku felt there was.
"I can feel that my powers are slowly returning
Time I sash
And a dash of cologne
For that smell.........
As the pieces fall into place
I'll see her crawl into place
Sayonara Kagome, your grace
Farewell........."
Kagura finally took her hand off her head. To fully assess the situation, she needed to be completely alert. So once she was done assessing, she figured out one and only one thing. Naraku had lost his mind.
His 6-legged minions obviously didn't share the opinion, as they were crawling up the walls in synchronization. The bugs were actually dancing! Some were doing the Charlie Brown, others were perfecting the fine art of the can-can, and some were break-dancing.
Yes friends, break-dancing.
One had a terrible mini wig on that resembled something one might see on an old episode of the Brady Bunch. After Naraku had sung his little bit, the insects did back up.
"In the dark of the night
Terror will find her
("Terror's the least I can do!" Naraku rung out.)
In the dark of the night
Evil will brew!"
Kagura: *blink, blink*
Naraku suddenly jumped up on the chair in the room to get a better view of everyone. He spread his arms out wide and actually twirled around. As if that was unfortunate enough to read about, much less see, poor Kagura witnessed the long, black cloak's shiny sequences glittering all over the place. Then, Naraku clutched his hands to his chest and sang:
"Soon she shall feel
That her nightmares are real
In the dark of the night
She'll be through!"
Kanna: -_-.........
The bugs continued to crawl around in harmony, making the carpet look like it was alive. Just when Kagura thought it could get no worse, it did.
How?
A strobe light.
Yes, a strobe began going off, giving the entire ordeal a sort of surreal look (as if it wasn't freaky enough on its own.........)
Now, you might be wondering, where might one find a strobe light in the middle of the feudal era of Japan?
Answer: ......... Yet again, I have no idea.
"In the dark of the night
Evil will find her
("Find her!" The bug with the bad Brady Bunch wig belted out)
"In the dark of the night
Terror shall doom!
("Doom her!" Let's call the bug with the wig Frank, OK?)
Kagura impatiently tapped her foot on the ground. Alright, now that the initial shock had more than just worn off, this was getting old. (And that blasted strobe light was starting to make her feel tipsy.........) She sighed heavily as Naraku started the next verse of his evilly psychotic musical
"My dear, here's a sign
It's the end of the line
In the dark of the night
("In the dark of the night........." Frank sang)
Kanna too was growing weary of all of this. She wanted more than anything to just leave and find a nice rock to talk to.........
Er.........
Scratch that last remark.........
She and Kagura had had enough and sorely wanted it to end. They felt they couldn't be surprised anymore than they had been. So imagine their terror and how traumatized they were later on in their lives when Naraku reached inside of one of his cabinets to reveal a long, black (thankfully unlike Naraku's cloak: non-glittery) cylinder. He looked at Kagura's confused expression and decided to explain himself for once. "I received this from the Dark Forces."
Kagura cocked an eyebrow, "Aren't YOU the 'Dark Forces'?"
Naraku: *blink, blink* "Well, yes. I am."
"So you just gave it to yourself?"
"Maybe one of his many personalities gave it to him." Kanna thought to herself. Unlike her sister though, she was able to keep the thought inside of her head.
Kagura watched Naraku impatiently, wondering whether or not he was gonna answer the question.
Instead of answering, Naraku glowered, turned around, and talked to his little present from himself.
Kagura: O_o?
He suddenly threw open the top and spread his arms out wide as he struck up his ridiculously long tune again.
"Come my minions
Rise for your master
Let your evil shine!"
Out of the cylinder came Naraku's "minions"
Was it something terrible?
(Not particularly.)
Something evil?
(I wouldn't use that word.)
Something unimaginable?
(Oh yeah.........)
Naraku's wicked minions from hell turned out to be none other than...
.........
.........
The local woodland pixies.
Not a snake.
Not an incurable virus.
Not even anything with fangs.
Pixies.
Kagura: O_o?
Naraku threw his head back and laughed insanely as the pixies flew all around him. Bright reds, oranges, yellows, blues, greens, and purples contrasted horribly with the drab, gloomy interior of the room. One particularly pissed pixie (aren't alliterations fun?) whizzed by Kagura's nose, barely missing it. It landed in front of Naraku with a sour look on its face.
Now, before I go on, let me explain that pixies are usually very peaceful, nice creatures. They always have smiles on their faces, magic in their hands, and a tune in their hearts. Just all around friendly creatures.
Got a mental image of a pixie?
Good.
"Naraku," the pixie in front of him started. "What the $%&* do you think your @$$ is &*#$ doing? I was just *#%&$ sitting there, minding my own &#!$% business when you and your sorry $%^&* comes along and %&*^$ my #@%&^ !!! You piece of @#$%!!!" the pixie roared.
Word of advice: Don't tick off a pixie.
Naraku stood there silently while he received verbal whiplash from a 6- inch, rainbow clad , potty mouthed, magical person. After the pixie quieted down bit, he took the opportunity to speak. "I'll say this once, and only once. If you agree to work with me, to do my biddings, and serve me, I will give you back the lands the fairies and the elves stole from you during the War of the Charmed. You will once again the be the supreme rulers of the surreal realm, answering only to me."
The pixie stared at Naraku like he'd lost his mind. "And tell me, you *&$%, how do you presume to retake the land we've been struggling to control for eons?"
Naraku smiled widely. "Four words: The Shikon no Tama."
"The Jewel of Four Souls?" The pixie asked incredulously.
"Yes." He reached in his pocket to show over half of said jewel. "With the power I'll gain, I can do anything."
The pixie looked at it doubtful. "It's not even whole yet."
"It will be soon enough. The question isn't when I'll finish it. The real question is, whose side will you be on when I do?"
The pixie scratched its chin in deep thought for a few moments. The rest had long since stopped buzzing around the room and had seated themselves in various places, including one who had accidentally fell while sitting on the edge of a large glass jar with something pickled and green inside. While it spluttered around in who knows what, its leader was finished contemplating.
With a slightly suspicious look, it offered its hand out to Naraku, and saying with much dignity, "We have an accord."
Happily, Naraku shook back.
"What will you have us do, Master Naraku?" One of the pixies spoke up.
With a glimmer of malevolence in his eyes, he asked simply, "Have you heard of the priestess Kikyo's reincarnation?"
"The one that travels with the half breed, son of the great dog demon from long ago and brother to Sesshomaru, Lord of the Western Lands?"
"You're talking about my sworn enemy, Inuyasha. Yes, that's him. But I speak of the reincarnation, Kagome."
"Yes, we know of her."
"Then go, give her a visit. One she'll never forget."
One of the pixies dressed in all yellow looked confused. "Shall we bring a gift?"
"A gift? Why?"
"Well, aren't you supposed to bring a gift whenever you visit a human?" the pixie asked with great concern.
"No! Just go and kill her!"
"Wait a minute, I thought you said you wanted us to visit her!" the lemon colored pixie protested.
"I did." Naraku said, getting exasperated.
"The why would we visit her if we're gonna kill her? That's not right!"
Naraku rolled his eyes. "Fine. Don't visit it. Just kill her."
"But we don't even know her!"
"So?"
"So, that's so mean! What did she ever do to us?"
Was anybody wondering why the pixies lost the War of the Charmed? You shouldn't be.
"She didn't do anything to you!" Naraku yelled.
"So, why on earth should we kill her? That's like going up to an old lady and whacking off her head. Or stealing her wig. It's just not right!"
Trying not to kill his newly acquired legion, Naraku took a deep breath. "OK, listen. Why don't you go out and find flowers for Kagome while the rest go and visit her? That way you can bring her a present."
"But I thought you said-"
"FORGET IT!!!" Naraku roared. "Just go to and find her a.........uh.........black rose."
"Aren't those the most rare flower on earth?"
"Yes."
"How am I supposed to find it? Wouldn't it be better to give her a daisy or something?"
"NO. She must have a black rose. She's very special. I saw one, one day."
"Where?"
"It was that way." Naraku pointed east.
"OK." With that, the yellow pixie zoomed off toward where Naraku was pointed. After the pixie scraped itself off the wall after hurtling itself into it, it decided to use the door. Naraku turned to the other pixies. "Are any more of you that stupid?"
They all shook their heads.
"Excellent. Then I want you to go and kill Kagome!!!"
Nodding their heads, they all took to the air and flew around the room, making the color along with the strobe light, almost unbearable to watch without losing an eye. With an evil laugh, Naraku threw his hands in the air and resumed where he left off in his seemingly never-ending song.
"Find her now
Yes, fly ever faster!"
Now, everyone in the room joined in. (save for Kanna and Kagura) The beetles sung alto. The pixies covered soprano. And Naraku took care of tenor.
"In the dark of the night
In the dark of the night
In the dark of the night.........
("She'll be gone!" Naraku sung)
And with the end of the song, the pixies soared out in an evil rainbow cloud. The insects scampered over everyone's feet to get back outside.
Kanna, Kagura, and Naraku were the only ones left in the room. Naraku gave them a look, poured himself some water, titled the glass towards them, and drunk.
"Aah........." he sighed. He picked up a couple of his voodoo dolls and walked out the room.
Kagura and Kanna simultaneously looked at each other.
Kagura: O_o?
Kanna: O_o?
Then they both looked in the glasses of water they were still holding and gave it a good sniff. Without a word, they both held their glasses away from the and overturned the whole cup, letting the water splash to the ground.
"There's gotta be something in this water." Kagura thought.
"I agree." Kanna said.
* * * So, whatcha think? Again, I apologize for the major delay. If I had it my way, I'd update everyday other day for you guys. But, seeing as how that's not exactly an option, I'm doing the best I can. So, there ya go. BTW, I'm gonna go and see The Prince and Me, and Ella Enchanted, (has anyone else read that book? If not, then you should. If so, then isn't it great?) Can somebody please tell me when The Prince and Me comes out. I'm so very confused.