Hey guys!
Before I even start let me just say...
WOW!!!
70 reviews.
70 reviews!
70 REVIEWS!!!
Do you have any idea how crazy that is? I nearly fell out of my chair when my best friend Rachel told me (haven't been online in awhile, so she called me) I am ecstatic. You guys are so great, and I'm so happy you like this story. And don't worry, I'll try my very hardest to keep you all laughing.
Anyways, sorry about the long wait. This actually has been written for quite awhile, I just haven't had time to post it. But now I have, so I hope you enjoy it. And I really think you will. Judging from all the comments I got on the chapter with the yellow fairy, I figured you guys might like to hear from him again, so this chapter is chock-full him.
Now, for the shout-outs:
*
LadyRainStarDragon: yeah, you might wanna stop that cat from flying around on your broom stick. That could be bad. By the way, where'd you get it? I've been looking for one forever! Sorry about you falling off of it though.
*
dark-of-stars: The Preservation for the Yellow Pixie Society? You REALLY need a hobby. Or a guy. Maybe both. And as for harming the yellow pixie...
ah, never mind.
*
darakeru kitsune: Well, here's more of the psychotic-ness!
*
whooshO_O: more drunken hallucinations? I'm not sure. More crazy, twisted stuff? Oh yeah!
*
xo-Kagome-ox: Wow, maybe I should stop making these chapters os funny if you all are falling out of your chairs. That's the last thing I need is to be sued......... nope, can't stop the craziness! Outta my control!
*
Random Person #362: You fell out of your chair too? Oh dear! I'm going to have to include super glue with all of these chapters to keep you reviewers in your seats! Honestly!
*
Dreamwalker: Well, I'm glad I could bring the longevity of your absence of hilarious material to end! That is, after all, my sworn duty!
*
Ritoru Kani: Don't forget what Inuyasha said. It is, in fact, quite impossible for us humans to fly. Unless, of course, you aren't human. That would call for some explaining on your part! But we all still love you!
*
crazy4dogboi: crazy4dogboi + clicking of the review button = VERY happy and inspired Shiroryu. Happy inspired Shiroryu + computer = more updates. I think you can see where I'm headed with this.........
*
NmareB4Xmas1223: Well, here you go. I honestly and sincerely hope you enjoy this.
*
KagomeRessurected: Thanks. It gets cuter, I swear. BTW, sorry I haven't emailed you lately. Haven't been online in SOOOOOOOO long! *Violins play in background* You see, it all started with my signing up for Advanced Placemnet European history this year. After that-
Audience :GET ON WITH IT!!!
Shiroryu: ok, ok!
*
loudnproud223: Idaho? No, ya da ho! ;-) I think I ate the rest of the fried chicken over here. Sorry girl! Anyways, please don't hurt yourself while reading this chapter. I think I might be liable for any damage you do to yourself and your house whilst in the company of my story.
*
SusieQ: love that movie. Anyways, thank you for reviewing. It means a lot to mean when people read my work and then bother to tell me that they have, It makes me want to write more and more. Interesting choice. After this story is done though, I think your order of favorite chapters might change. Hehehe!!!
*
dark-of-stars: (again) Agh!!! Don't do the happy dance! You remember what happened last time you did that, don't you?
...
yeah, neither do I. Never mind!
*
So, now that that's out of the way, I will get on with the story.
Attorney: *clears throat*
Shiroryu: What?!
Attorney: Isn't there something you should say?
Shiroryu: Aww......... this again?
Attorney: Last chapter you denounced all ownership to Inuyasha.
Shiroryu: Did not.
Attorney: Yes you did! You said something along the lines of: you were too tired, you didn't own him, but he really did love you.
Shiroryu: But he does!
Attorney: *sighs*
*
*
*
A silent woman stood at the house of her younger sister. With a feeling of slight nostalgia, she turned around and walked away from the tiny hut. The hut she used to reside in. Before she.........
Shaking her head slightly, the woman made her way through the forest until she came to an unusually large tree. A familiar tree. The tree where she had.........
"All of these memories......... I must leave this place before he returns." She sighed and walked deeper into the woods, away from said memories. She was almost out of the magical feeling vicinity of the area when she heard a rather odd sound. It went something like: "AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!" Slightly startled, the woman looked ahead, waiting to see what was making all of that ridiculous noise.
The next thing she knew, she was on the ground looking up into the face of a strange creature that was wearing an abnormal amount of yellow.
"Oh, I am so sorry." The creature said. It wiped itself off and offered her his hand. Noticing how very small the hand was, and seeing how very miniscule the body was attached to aforementioned limb, the woman slapped it away and got up on her own.
"Your clumsiness has annoyed me enough for today. I shall depart now." She said coolly.
"Hmm.........that wasn't very nice." The yellow creature said.
The woman sighed again. "I shall take my leave now."
The little thing stood in her way though. "Wait a minute. Aren't you curious about what I am?"
The woman raised an eyebrow. "What would give me reason to be even remotely inquisitive about your personal heritage?"
The little person smiled. "Well, duh! Because I'm a pixie!" he announced.
"Is that so?" she said automatically.
"Yes, it is so." The pixie said excitedly.
"As fascinating as that piece of useless information is, I have other miko matters to attend to."
The pixie nodded and let the woman go off. He stood there about 3 minutes until he realized something. Flying after, he made a head on collision with her, yet again. Nearly growling, she said "If we continue to meet under these circumstances, I am going to have to rip off both of your wings, very slowly."
"Um.........Ok.........but I wouldn't like that very much. I think it would hurt."
"That would be the entire point of ripping your wings off. To cause you a great amount of pain."
The pixie scratched his head. "You aren't very nice. I don't think I want to give you what I was supposed to give you."
"I don't particularly care." Was the cold response.
"Well, OK.........I'll let you have it. But only because you looked so distraught." Smiling widely, the yellow pixie pulled from behind his back what looked to be flowers. "They're black roses." He said triumphantly.
"They are not." The woman stated.
"Yes, they are!" he protested.
She took her pointer finger and wiped off some of the black paint still dripping from the flower. "This is a daisy. You just painted it black."
The pixie took a defensive stance. "I did not!"
Aggravated, the woman shook the flowers in his face, spewing black paint all over him. "There is black paint all over these flowers. Look, I'm wiping some off now. It's even on your face!"
Defiantly, the pixie said, "I haven't the slightest clue what you are talking about."
"What do you mean you don't know what I'm talking about? You have black paint all over your face! If you're gonna give someone a present and tell them it's a black rose, painting a daisy black is not going to work. Especially since a daisy looks nothing like a rose. But mostly because the DAISIES ARE STILL WET FROM THE PAINT!"
The pixie nonchalantly picked at his fingernails. "If you say so."
Rolling her eyes heavenward, the woman growled and stomped off.
"Hey where ya going?" the pixie asked as he flew next to her.
"Away."
"Aww.........but 'Away' isn't as fun as 'Over there'."
"What difference does it make? I'm still removing myself from your vicinity."
"But 'Over there' is such a pleasant place."
Stopping, the woman whirled around and pointed at the pixie. "Why are you following me?"
Giving her a smug smile, he flew close to her ear and whispered "The real question is, why wouldn't I be?"
"BECAUSE I DO NOT KNOW YOU AND YOU DO NOT KNOW ME!!!" The woman screeched.
Cocking an eyebrow, the pixie dropped his voice an octave and said his most sexy voice (which wasn't all that sexy as much as it was annoying) "Do you want to get to know me better?" and then proceeded to wiggle his eyebrows at her.
"That is the single most repulsive offer I have ever heard in my life." She sighed.
The pixie puffed his chest out as much as he could. "Are you trying to say you don't want a piece of this?"
"That is exactly what I'm trying to say."
"How can you resist me if you don't even know my name?"
"Do you hear yourself when you speak?"
"Nope. I have selective hearing."
"That figures."
"Sigurgandvarimillakaerethyrene."
"Excuse me?"
"Sigurgandvarimillakaerethyrene."
"What is that?"
"My name."
The woman stared for a minute. "Your mother actually named you that?"
Proudly, the pixie smiled. "Yep. Dad said she'd been to Mack and his Pot a little more times than necessary, if you know what I mean."
"No, I don't know what you mean. And I don't want to know what you mean. I just want you, Mr. Sigurflookienikesockdingdong to leave me alone."
"Fred."
"What?"
"Call me Fred."
The woman gave him a puzzled look. "I thought you said your name was Sigurflookinikesockdingdong."
The pixie sighed. "No, I said my name was Sigurgandvarimillakaerethyrene. But you can call me Fred."
"Why Fred? That sounds nothing like your name."
"I know. I just like the way it sounds. Come on. Say it with me. Fred!" The pixie grinned.
"No."
"Say it with me, Fred!"
"No."
"Say it with me!"
"No."
"Say it with me!"
"No."
"You know you want to."
"No."
"I'll keep bugging you."
"No."
"Fred, Fred, bo-Bred, banana-fanana, fo-Fred, me-my-mo-mred, Fred!!!"
"No."
"Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fr-"
"FINE! FRED!!!" The woman screamed.
The pixie grinned even wider. "Now see, wasn't that fun and entertaining?"
The woman glared at him. "That question doesn't even warrant a proper answer from me."
*Fred turns and whispers extremely loudly to audience sitting at home* "That means she feels all warm and tingly, and fuzzy inside. Fred is a warm, tingly, fuzzy name."
"I'm leaving." The woman sighed.
"Oh well. You were a disappointment anyway. Everyone said you were so nice."
"What do you mean, a 'disappointment' and everyone saying I was so 'nice'?" the woman asked confused and a bit miffed.
"Well, I'm not sure if I should be the one to tell you what a failure you are and how disenchanted I am with you......... But I will. One, I thought you'd be nice. I was wrong. Two, I thought you'd be dressed futuristic. You obviously are from around here, although in those robes most probably consider you the paid help. Three, I was expecting to see that Inuyasha character I keep hearing so much about. Clearly he is not here, unless you've hidden him somewhere in that ugly hairdo of yours. Which brings me to my fourth disappointment. I thought you'd be pretty, or at least decent looking. Again my expectations were much too high for you, seeing as how you look like you've crawled out of a grave after 50 years. Which brings me to another point. I could've sworn you'd be alive. Again, Fred was wrong. And I won't even go into your-"
"ENOUGH!!!" the woman screamed.
Fred stopped rambling off her shortcomings long enough to listen to her.
"Just who do you think I am?" the woman questioned already knowing the answer.
"Well duh! Who else would you be besides yourself?!"
"That's not what I meant."
"But that's what you said."
"Forget it! What do you think my name is?"
"What are you, an amnesiac?"
"JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK MY NAME IS!!!" she yelled, face turning bright shades of red from frustration.
"Obviously I think your name is Kagome Higurashi." Fred said, also miffed.
"Kagome?" the woman breathed.
"Umm.........yeah. That's your name. Don't wear it out."
Straightening herself to her full and most intimidating stance, the woman looked down at the pixie.
"I am not Kagome. I am the high priestess, Kikyo."
The pixie stared at for a moment then started laughing.
Hard.
"I fail to see what is so humorous." Kikyo said with as much dignity as she could muster, what with Fred rolling on the ground crying and all.
"Ri-ight.........You're Kikyo. And lemon meringue pies frequently fly out of my butt."
Kikyo glowered angrily at Fred, trying to bore a hole in his forehead. "I speak only the truth. I am the famous miko, Kikyo. The one who pinned Inuyasha to a tree. The one who-"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah lady." The pixie said as he waved her off nonchalantly. "Whatever you say."
"Why is it so hard to believe that I am Kikyo?"
Fred shrugged his shoulders. "Oh, I believe you. I just like yanking your chain."
*vein in Kikyo's forehead begins to throb menacingly*
"So anyway," the pixie said as he leaned coolly on a nearby tree, "what's the deal with you and this Inuyasha guy? I heard through the grapevine that you're still in love with him."
Kikyo casually plucked out a comb from her hair and with a flick of her wrist it was lodged in the tree Fred was leaning on, pinning him by his neck and mere centimeters away from puncturing his collar. "Insolent imp. How dare you presume that I bare feelings for that mongrel."
"Quack!" went Fred as he struggled to catch his breath.
Kikyo trudged off, more than a little peeved about her encounter with the insignificant being. But even more so, she was angry with herself for reacting when questioned about Inuyasha. Just the mere mention of his name made her go rigid with hate.........
But at the same time, another feeling always accompanied that name.
Before she really knew what was happening, she stopped at a small brook, and peered into her dead reflection, stood back up, looked to the heavens and.........
(I think you know what's coming...)
*"You know I'm a righteous woman
Of my virtue I am justly proud
You know I'm so much purer than
The common, vulgar everyday crowd"*
Yes. We all knew it would happen. It was uncharacteristic. It was unstoppable. It was unimaginable.
It was Kikyo, singing.*
(A/N: *trying not to giggle at her audience's shocked faces* I'm sorry. It couldn't be helped. I told you all this story was twisted. I had to.........*snickers behind hand*) Kikyo, unaware of what she was doing (obviously) thought back to Fred and sung out
*"Then tell me, small Freddy (Freddy? Where'd she get Freddy from?)
Why I see him standing there
Why his golden eyes still scorch my soul
I fear him, I see him
The sun caught in his silver hair
Is blazing as if it had not one care"*
Suddenly, something dawned on Kikyo. Something she should've realized. As she thought about it, her eyes got wider in amazement. She was a miko. She was holy! Sinless! Perfect! And yet, she wanted Inuyasha so much. She came to a startling conclusion.
*"Like fire! Hellfire!
This fire in my skin
This burning desire
Is turning me to sin!"*
Running away from the stream, she rushed deeper into the forest, listening to the voices in her head. (Always knew she was psycho)
'You fell in love with a half demon!' the voices told her
*"It's not my fault!" she screamed.
'It is!' her mind replied
"I'm not to blame!
It is the half-breed boy
The hanyou who set this flame!"*
'You're treacherous!' her mind said
*"It's not my fault!
If in God's plan
He made one half-ling so much stronger than I am!!!"*
As Kikyo continued screaming through the forest like a mad woman, Fred was resting comfortably in a tree (after getting help from woodland creatures to release him), watching the whole ordeal.
"That chick is crazy........." he observed.
Losing all of her senses, Kikyo cried out in temporary insanity,
*"Help me, dear Freddy (Fred: *O_o?* "Where'd Freddy come from?")
Please help me cast my evil spell,
Please let my fire sear his flesh and bones!"*
Fred: *blink, blink* "There's gotta be something in her water."
Kikyo had completely lost it by now. I mean, everyone knows girlfriend was on the edge, but this is ridiculous. She is actually talking- no, singing- about casting a freaking spell on and burning our beloved, if not ill- tempered and foul-mouthed, Inuyasha!
*"Destroy Inuyasha!
Let him tastes the fires of hell
But please let him be mine and mine alone........."*
At this, Fred made himself known. "What the heck is the matter with you?" he asked her. Eyes glazed over, Kikyo stopped singing long enough to say a short sentence. "I just can't seem to get over him." And then, suddenly, she.........
*"Hellfire, dark fire
Now half-ling it's your turn
Choose me and my fire
Be mine and you will burn!"*
Confused, Fred raised his hand and waved it in the air. Kikyo chose to ignore him until he began screaming "Pick me! Pick me!" over and over again.
"What?!" she nearly yelled.
"There's something I don't understand. You love Inuyasha, so you're trying to destroy him? You give him the choice of choosing you and burning. Shouldn't there be an "or" somewhere in that sentence? Like choosing you OR burn?"
"No pixie, you don't understand. When Inuyasha comes with me, we shall journey together into the fiery abyss for all eternity."
Fred rolled his eyes. "Oh, yeah. THAT sounds like fun. Who could resist an offer like that?"
Kikyo's eyes got glazy again. She breathed in deeply and said "It is our destiny to be together in the depths of the fires, for I cannot stay on this earth long. Each day gets harder to oppose the laws of nature and continue to roam this realm. Once we exit this realm, we will be together.........FOR-EV-ER!" *
Fred thought about her words for a tenth of a second before he blurted out, "Yeah, but do you think he wants to die, just to be with you? I mean, it's not like you're attractive, or nice, or even worthwhile. You're just kinda, crazy. Plus, I think he's got a thing for that Kagome girl. Everyone says so."
"Idiot," Kikyo sneered, "Inuyasha is madly in love with me. He made a promise to follow me wherever I go."
"Ever heard of breaking a promise? Jeez, I know I would. Maybe he had been to Mack and his Pot before he spoke to you about that, just like my mother was before she named me. That would explain a lot."
Kikyo glared at him once more, and then for the last time, stalked off, leaving Fred by himself. As she seemed to glide through the woods, she considered Fred's words.
"I think he's got a thing for that Kagome girl." "You love Inuyasha, but you're trying to destroy him?" "Ever heard of breaking a promise?"
She bent down and picked up a puffy flower** (the white ones that you blow on and all the weird little white things blow away) and stared at it for a moment.
Yes, she knew that what she was doing was, to an extent, was evil and wrong. But she was more aware of how much she wanted Inuyasha to be with her, not her reincarnation. He deserved the real thing, right? Not a cheap knockoff. What did that girl know of his pain? Nothing. She wasn't the one who could relate to his pain. She wasn't the one who could heal him. Not all the way. That was her job. So, yes, she knew what she was doing was evil. Suddenly, she could feel her eyes and heart start to soften. Not like how they used to be originally, but it was a nice change.
*"God have mercy on him.
God have mercy on me"*
She sung softly. Blowing away all the little wisps of puff, she felt her eyes grow once again cold and angry and her voice grew cold and angry as well.
*"But he will be mine and we will........."*
Looking into the sky, she closed her eyes, letting a small drop of water slip between her eyelids.
*"Burn........."*
She gathered herself and walked away again, only this time instead of away from Inuyasha, she was going directly towards him.
Fred, who really has no idea what personal space and privacy are, came out from behind the tree he was hiding, shaking his head sadly.
"Oh, yeah. There's definitely something in HER water. Or maybe she's allergic to black roses..." With that he picked up his "black roses" and flew off.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
OK, so, that's the end of "There's Gotta Be Something in the Water" Hope you all liked it!
...
...
...
Shiroryu: *ducks from a chair thrown at her head* Just kidding! Jeez! This story is far from over. I'm just beginning! (sort of) Anyways, the song in here was from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. It's the part when Frodo (if you're thinking of a short guy with an abnormal amount of hair growth on his feet, wrong movie) is talking to his fireplace about how he wants Esmeralda... Audience: Eww... Shiroryu: I know- and he's saying all this crap about how righteous he was and how if he couldn't have her, then she could burn (nice ultimatum. Personally, I'd take the fire. I have flame-retardant pajamas I could wear) If you don't remember, go watch the movie again. It's really in there. So the song isn't mine. It's Disney's
Attorney: What about Inuyasha?
Shiroryu: *walks away like she can't hear him*
A/N: I put a few stars in this chapter, so here's what I was thinking:
* two words: The Sandlot
** later found out these were called dandelions
Before I even start let me just say...
WOW!!!
70 reviews.
70 reviews!
70 REVIEWS!!!
Do you have any idea how crazy that is? I nearly fell out of my chair when my best friend Rachel told me (haven't been online in awhile, so she called me) I am ecstatic. You guys are so great, and I'm so happy you like this story. And don't worry, I'll try my very hardest to keep you all laughing.
Anyways, sorry about the long wait. This actually has been written for quite awhile, I just haven't had time to post it. But now I have, so I hope you enjoy it. And I really think you will. Judging from all the comments I got on the chapter with the yellow fairy, I figured you guys might like to hear from him again, so this chapter is chock-full him.
Now, for the shout-outs:
*
LadyRainStarDragon: yeah, you might wanna stop that cat from flying around on your broom stick. That could be bad. By the way, where'd you get it? I've been looking for one forever! Sorry about you falling off of it though.
*
dark-of-stars: The Preservation for the Yellow Pixie Society? You REALLY need a hobby. Or a guy. Maybe both. And as for harming the yellow pixie...
ah, never mind.
*
darakeru kitsune: Well, here's more of the psychotic-ness!
*
whooshO_O: more drunken hallucinations? I'm not sure. More crazy, twisted stuff? Oh yeah!
*
xo-Kagome-ox: Wow, maybe I should stop making these chapters os funny if you all are falling out of your chairs. That's the last thing I need is to be sued......... nope, can't stop the craziness! Outta my control!
*
Random Person #362: You fell out of your chair too? Oh dear! I'm going to have to include super glue with all of these chapters to keep you reviewers in your seats! Honestly!
*
Dreamwalker: Well, I'm glad I could bring the longevity of your absence of hilarious material to end! That is, after all, my sworn duty!
*
Ritoru Kani: Don't forget what Inuyasha said. It is, in fact, quite impossible for us humans to fly. Unless, of course, you aren't human. That would call for some explaining on your part! But we all still love you!
*
crazy4dogboi: crazy4dogboi + clicking of the review button = VERY happy and inspired Shiroryu. Happy inspired Shiroryu + computer = more updates. I think you can see where I'm headed with this.........
*
NmareB4Xmas1223: Well, here you go. I honestly and sincerely hope you enjoy this.
*
KagomeRessurected: Thanks. It gets cuter, I swear. BTW, sorry I haven't emailed you lately. Haven't been online in SOOOOOOOO long! *Violins play in background* You see, it all started with my signing up for Advanced Placemnet European history this year. After that-
Audience :GET ON WITH IT!!!
Shiroryu: ok, ok!
*
loudnproud223: Idaho? No, ya da ho! ;-) I think I ate the rest of the fried chicken over here. Sorry girl! Anyways, please don't hurt yourself while reading this chapter. I think I might be liable for any damage you do to yourself and your house whilst in the company of my story.
*
SusieQ: love that movie. Anyways, thank you for reviewing. It means a lot to mean when people read my work and then bother to tell me that they have, It makes me want to write more and more. Interesting choice. After this story is done though, I think your order of favorite chapters might change. Hehehe!!!
*
dark-of-stars: (again) Agh!!! Don't do the happy dance! You remember what happened last time you did that, don't you?
...
yeah, neither do I. Never mind!
*
So, now that that's out of the way, I will get on with the story.
Attorney: *clears throat*
Shiroryu: What?!
Attorney: Isn't there something you should say?
Shiroryu: Aww......... this again?
Attorney: Last chapter you denounced all ownership to Inuyasha.
Shiroryu: Did not.
Attorney: Yes you did! You said something along the lines of: you were too tired, you didn't own him, but he really did love you.
Shiroryu: But he does!
Attorney: *sighs*
*
*
*
A silent woman stood at the house of her younger sister. With a feeling of slight nostalgia, she turned around and walked away from the tiny hut. The hut she used to reside in. Before she.........
Shaking her head slightly, the woman made her way through the forest until she came to an unusually large tree. A familiar tree. The tree where she had.........
"All of these memories......... I must leave this place before he returns." She sighed and walked deeper into the woods, away from said memories. She was almost out of the magical feeling vicinity of the area when she heard a rather odd sound. It went something like: "AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!" Slightly startled, the woman looked ahead, waiting to see what was making all of that ridiculous noise.
The next thing she knew, she was on the ground looking up into the face of a strange creature that was wearing an abnormal amount of yellow.
"Oh, I am so sorry." The creature said. It wiped itself off and offered her his hand. Noticing how very small the hand was, and seeing how very miniscule the body was attached to aforementioned limb, the woman slapped it away and got up on her own.
"Your clumsiness has annoyed me enough for today. I shall depart now." She said coolly.
"Hmm.........that wasn't very nice." The yellow creature said.
The woman sighed again. "I shall take my leave now."
The little thing stood in her way though. "Wait a minute. Aren't you curious about what I am?"
The woman raised an eyebrow. "What would give me reason to be even remotely inquisitive about your personal heritage?"
The little person smiled. "Well, duh! Because I'm a pixie!" he announced.
"Is that so?" she said automatically.
"Yes, it is so." The pixie said excitedly.
"As fascinating as that piece of useless information is, I have other miko matters to attend to."
The pixie nodded and let the woman go off. He stood there about 3 minutes until he realized something. Flying after, he made a head on collision with her, yet again. Nearly growling, she said "If we continue to meet under these circumstances, I am going to have to rip off both of your wings, very slowly."
"Um.........Ok.........but I wouldn't like that very much. I think it would hurt."
"That would be the entire point of ripping your wings off. To cause you a great amount of pain."
The pixie scratched his head. "You aren't very nice. I don't think I want to give you what I was supposed to give you."
"I don't particularly care." Was the cold response.
"Well, OK.........I'll let you have it. But only because you looked so distraught." Smiling widely, the yellow pixie pulled from behind his back what looked to be flowers. "They're black roses." He said triumphantly.
"They are not." The woman stated.
"Yes, they are!" he protested.
She took her pointer finger and wiped off some of the black paint still dripping from the flower. "This is a daisy. You just painted it black."
The pixie took a defensive stance. "I did not!"
Aggravated, the woman shook the flowers in his face, spewing black paint all over him. "There is black paint all over these flowers. Look, I'm wiping some off now. It's even on your face!"
Defiantly, the pixie said, "I haven't the slightest clue what you are talking about."
"What do you mean you don't know what I'm talking about? You have black paint all over your face! If you're gonna give someone a present and tell them it's a black rose, painting a daisy black is not going to work. Especially since a daisy looks nothing like a rose. But mostly because the DAISIES ARE STILL WET FROM THE PAINT!"
The pixie nonchalantly picked at his fingernails. "If you say so."
Rolling her eyes heavenward, the woman growled and stomped off.
"Hey where ya going?" the pixie asked as he flew next to her.
"Away."
"Aww.........but 'Away' isn't as fun as 'Over there'."
"What difference does it make? I'm still removing myself from your vicinity."
"But 'Over there' is such a pleasant place."
Stopping, the woman whirled around and pointed at the pixie. "Why are you following me?"
Giving her a smug smile, he flew close to her ear and whispered "The real question is, why wouldn't I be?"
"BECAUSE I DO NOT KNOW YOU AND YOU DO NOT KNOW ME!!!" The woman screeched.
Cocking an eyebrow, the pixie dropped his voice an octave and said his most sexy voice (which wasn't all that sexy as much as it was annoying) "Do you want to get to know me better?" and then proceeded to wiggle his eyebrows at her.
"That is the single most repulsive offer I have ever heard in my life." She sighed.
The pixie puffed his chest out as much as he could. "Are you trying to say you don't want a piece of this?"
"That is exactly what I'm trying to say."
"How can you resist me if you don't even know my name?"
"Do you hear yourself when you speak?"
"Nope. I have selective hearing."
"That figures."
"Sigurgandvarimillakaerethyrene."
"Excuse me?"
"Sigurgandvarimillakaerethyrene."
"What is that?"
"My name."
The woman stared for a minute. "Your mother actually named you that?"
Proudly, the pixie smiled. "Yep. Dad said she'd been to Mack and his Pot a little more times than necessary, if you know what I mean."
"No, I don't know what you mean. And I don't want to know what you mean. I just want you, Mr. Sigurflookienikesockdingdong to leave me alone."
"Fred."
"What?"
"Call me Fred."
The woman gave him a puzzled look. "I thought you said your name was Sigurflookinikesockdingdong."
The pixie sighed. "No, I said my name was Sigurgandvarimillakaerethyrene. But you can call me Fred."
"Why Fred? That sounds nothing like your name."
"I know. I just like the way it sounds. Come on. Say it with me. Fred!" The pixie grinned.
"No."
"Say it with me, Fred!"
"No."
"Say it with me!"
"No."
"Say it with me!"
"No."
"You know you want to."
"No."
"I'll keep bugging you."
"No."
"Fred, Fred, bo-Bred, banana-fanana, fo-Fred, me-my-mo-mred, Fred!!!"
"No."
"Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! Fr-"
"FINE! FRED!!!" The woman screamed.
The pixie grinned even wider. "Now see, wasn't that fun and entertaining?"
The woman glared at him. "That question doesn't even warrant a proper answer from me."
*Fred turns and whispers extremely loudly to audience sitting at home* "That means she feels all warm and tingly, and fuzzy inside. Fred is a warm, tingly, fuzzy name."
"I'm leaving." The woman sighed.
"Oh well. You were a disappointment anyway. Everyone said you were so nice."
"What do you mean, a 'disappointment' and everyone saying I was so 'nice'?" the woman asked confused and a bit miffed.
"Well, I'm not sure if I should be the one to tell you what a failure you are and how disenchanted I am with you......... But I will. One, I thought you'd be nice. I was wrong. Two, I thought you'd be dressed futuristic. You obviously are from around here, although in those robes most probably consider you the paid help. Three, I was expecting to see that Inuyasha character I keep hearing so much about. Clearly he is not here, unless you've hidden him somewhere in that ugly hairdo of yours. Which brings me to my fourth disappointment. I thought you'd be pretty, or at least decent looking. Again my expectations were much too high for you, seeing as how you look like you've crawled out of a grave after 50 years. Which brings me to another point. I could've sworn you'd be alive. Again, Fred was wrong. And I won't even go into your-"
"ENOUGH!!!" the woman screamed.
Fred stopped rambling off her shortcomings long enough to listen to her.
"Just who do you think I am?" the woman questioned already knowing the answer.
"Well duh! Who else would you be besides yourself?!"
"That's not what I meant."
"But that's what you said."
"Forget it! What do you think my name is?"
"What are you, an amnesiac?"
"JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK MY NAME IS!!!" she yelled, face turning bright shades of red from frustration.
"Obviously I think your name is Kagome Higurashi." Fred said, also miffed.
"Kagome?" the woman breathed.
"Umm.........yeah. That's your name. Don't wear it out."
Straightening herself to her full and most intimidating stance, the woman looked down at the pixie.
"I am not Kagome. I am the high priestess, Kikyo."
The pixie stared at for a moment then started laughing.
Hard.
"I fail to see what is so humorous." Kikyo said with as much dignity as she could muster, what with Fred rolling on the ground crying and all.
"Ri-ight.........You're Kikyo. And lemon meringue pies frequently fly out of my butt."
Kikyo glowered angrily at Fred, trying to bore a hole in his forehead. "I speak only the truth. I am the famous miko, Kikyo. The one who pinned Inuyasha to a tree. The one who-"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah lady." The pixie said as he waved her off nonchalantly. "Whatever you say."
"Why is it so hard to believe that I am Kikyo?"
Fred shrugged his shoulders. "Oh, I believe you. I just like yanking your chain."
*vein in Kikyo's forehead begins to throb menacingly*
"So anyway," the pixie said as he leaned coolly on a nearby tree, "what's the deal with you and this Inuyasha guy? I heard through the grapevine that you're still in love with him."
Kikyo casually plucked out a comb from her hair and with a flick of her wrist it was lodged in the tree Fred was leaning on, pinning him by his neck and mere centimeters away from puncturing his collar. "Insolent imp. How dare you presume that I bare feelings for that mongrel."
"Quack!" went Fred as he struggled to catch his breath.
Kikyo trudged off, more than a little peeved about her encounter with the insignificant being. But even more so, she was angry with herself for reacting when questioned about Inuyasha. Just the mere mention of his name made her go rigid with hate.........
But at the same time, another feeling always accompanied that name.
Before she really knew what was happening, she stopped at a small brook, and peered into her dead reflection, stood back up, looked to the heavens and.........
(I think you know what's coming...)
*"You know I'm a righteous woman
Of my virtue I am justly proud
You know I'm so much purer than
The common, vulgar everyday crowd"*
Yes. We all knew it would happen. It was uncharacteristic. It was unstoppable. It was unimaginable.
It was Kikyo, singing.*
(A/N: *trying not to giggle at her audience's shocked faces* I'm sorry. It couldn't be helped. I told you all this story was twisted. I had to.........*snickers behind hand*) Kikyo, unaware of what she was doing (obviously) thought back to Fred and sung out
*"Then tell me, small Freddy (Freddy? Where'd she get Freddy from?)
Why I see him standing there
Why his golden eyes still scorch my soul
I fear him, I see him
The sun caught in his silver hair
Is blazing as if it had not one care"*
Suddenly, something dawned on Kikyo. Something she should've realized. As she thought about it, her eyes got wider in amazement. She was a miko. She was holy! Sinless! Perfect! And yet, she wanted Inuyasha so much. She came to a startling conclusion.
*"Like fire! Hellfire!
This fire in my skin
This burning desire
Is turning me to sin!"*
Running away from the stream, she rushed deeper into the forest, listening to the voices in her head. (Always knew she was psycho)
'You fell in love with a half demon!' the voices told her
*"It's not my fault!" she screamed.
'It is!' her mind replied
"I'm not to blame!
It is the half-breed boy
The hanyou who set this flame!"*
'You're treacherous!' her mind said
*"It's not my fault!
If in God's plan
He made one half-ling so much stronger than I am!!!"*
As Kikyo continued screaming through the forest like a mad woman, Fred was resting comfortably in a tree (after getting help from woodland creatures to release him), watching the whole ordeal.
"That chick is crazy........." he observed.
Losing all of her senses, Kikyo cried out in temporary insanity,
*"Help me, dear Freddy (Fred: *O_o?* "Where'd Freddy come from?")
Please help me cast my evil spell,
Please let my fire sear his flesh and bones!"*
Fred: *blink, blink* "There's gotta be something in her water."
Kikyo had completely lost it by now. I mean, everyone knows girlfriend was on the edge, but this is ridiculous. She is actually talking- no, singing- about casting a freaking spell on and burning our beloved, if not ill- tempered and foul-mouthed, Inuyasha!
*"Destroy Inuyasha!
Let him tastes the fires of hell
But please let him be mine and mine alone........."*
At this, Fred made himself known. "What the heck is the matter with you?" he asked her. Eyes glazed over, Kikyo stopped singing long enough to say a short sentence. "I just can't seem to get over him." And then, suddenly, she.........
*"Hellfire, dark fire
Now half-ling it's your turn
Choose me and my fire
Be mine and you will burn!"*
Confused, Fred raised his hand and waved it in the air. Kikyo chose to ignore him until he began screaming "Pick me! Pick me!" over and over again.
"What?!" she nearly yelled.
"There's something I don't understand. You love Inuyasha, so you're trying to destroy him? You give him the choice of choosing you and burning. Shouldn't there be an "or" somewhere in that sentence? Like choosing you OR burn?"
"No pixie, you don't understand. When Inuyasha comes with me, we shall journey together into the fiery abyss for all eternity."
Fred rolled his eyes. "Oh, yeah. THAT sounds like fun. Who could resist an offer like that?"
Kikyo's eyes got glazy again. She breathed in deeply and said "It is our destiny to be together in the depths of the fires, for I cannot stay on this earth long. Each day gets harder to oppose the laws of nature and continue to roam this realm. Once we exit this realm, we will be together.........FOR-EV-ER!" *
Fred thought about her words for a tenth of a second before he blurted out, "Yeah, but do you think he wants to die, just to be with you? I mean, it's not like you're attractive, or nice, or even worthwhile. You're just kinda, crazy. Plus, I think he's got a thing for that Kagome girl. Everyone says so."
"Idiot," Kikyo sneered, "Inuyasha is madly in love with me. He made a promise to follow me wherever I go."
"Ever heard of breaking a promise? Jeez, I know I would. Maybe he had been to Mack and his Pot before he spoke to you about that, just like my mother was before she named me. That would explain a lot."
Kikyo glared at him once more, and then for the last time, stalked off, leaving Fred by himself. As she seemed to glide through the woods, she considered Fred's words.
"I think he's got a thing for that Kagome girl." "You love Inuyasha, but you're trying to destroy him?" "Ever heard of breaking a promise?"
She bent down and picked up a puffy flower** (the white ones that you blow on and all the weird little white things blow away) and stared at it for a moment.
Yes, she knew that what she was doing was, to an extent, was evil and wrong. But she was more aware of how much she wanted Inuyasha to be with her, not her reincarnation. He deserved the real thing, right? Not a cheap knockoff. What did that girl know of his pain? Nothing. She wasn't the one who could relate to his pain. She wasn't the one who could heal him. Not all the way. That was her job. So, yes, she knew what she was doing was evil. Suddenly, she could feel her eyes and heart start to soften. Not like how they used to be originally, but it was a nice change.
*"God have mercy on him.
God have mercy on me"*
She sung softly. Blowing away all the little wisps of puff, she felt her eyes grow once again cold and angry and her voice grew cold and angry as well.
*"But he will be mine and we will........."*
Looking into the sky, she closed her eyes, letting a small drop of water slip between her eyelids.
*"Burn........."*
She gathered herself and walked away again, only this time instead of away from Inuyasha, she was going directly towards him.
Fred, who really has no idea what personal space and privacy are, came out from behind the tree he was hiding, shaking his head sadly.
"Oh, yeah. There's definitely something in HER water. Or maybe she's allergic to black roses..." With that he picked up his "black roses" and flew off.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
OK, so, that's the end of "There's Gotta Be Something in the Water" Hope you all liked it!
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Shiroryu: *ducks from a chair thrown at her head* Just kidding! Jeez! This story is far from over. I'm just beginning! (sort of) Anyways, the song in here was from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. It's the part when Frodo (if you're thinking of a short guy with an abnormal amount of hair growth on his feet, wrong movie) is talking to his fireplace about how he wants Esmeralda... Audience: Eww... Shiroryu: I know- and he's saying all this crap about how righteous he was and how if he couldn't have her, then she could burn (nice ultimatum. Personally, I'd take the fire. I have flame-retardant pajamas I could wear) If you don't remember, go watch the movie again. It's really in there. So the song isn't mine. It's Disney's
Attorney: What about Inuyasha?
Shiroryu: *walks away like she can't hear him*
A/N: I put a few stars in this chapter, so here's what I was thinking:
* two words: The Sandlot
** later found out these were called dandelions