I was sitting in my apartment over at Heywood, trying to read a police rapport. A securing of a building had gone bad and one of my men had ended up in a hospital. I just had to finish reading the statement before I finally could get some sleep.

I was so tired. It was only 6 pm but I had been awake for 48 hours straight and my mind was moving slow. And it kept wandering away and I had to read the same lines over and over again. I tried to get myself to focus but was failing miserably. I sighed and leaned back in the couch. I was just going to rest my eyes for a second.

I was sitting on the couch watching TV. It was Christmas eve and I was in my office apartment. Alone... watching 'It's a wonderful life'. Yeah, life's absolutely swell. I wanted to be with my daughter but her mother had decided that they were going to spend Christmas with Robert, her new husband, and his family. And she thought it would we best if I stayed in Trenton, so our daughter wouldn't get 'confused'. It was bullshit and we both knew it. Only I couldn't do anything about it since my ex had the custody.

I could have spend the evening with my family, but most of my relatives has decided to go to Cuba over the holidays. I had to be back at work on the 26th so I couldn't join them. And most of my employees we're off visiting their families. So here I was. Alone. Merry fucking Christmas.

There was another person I would like to spend this evening with. To just look into those dazzling blue eyes right now would make everything feel much easier. Less empty. But there was no point in even thinking about it, 'cause it would never happen. She's with her family, eating food her mother have spent days making, listening to 'I'm dreaming of a white Christmas', playing with her nieces and drinking eggnog with her crazy grandmother. Probably would Morelli stop by later, wishing everybody a marry Christmas and hug her mother, who will be so happy of seeing them together. Then he will pull her close to him, underneath the mistletoe, and kiss her.

Just thinking about it made my fist clench. So I pushed every thought of Stephanie as far away as I could. Forget it Manoso, it will never happen.

So instead I watched how the angel reminded George Bailey how awful life would be for everyone without him. I doubt you could say the same about me.

Suddenly there was a knock on my door. At first I stared surprised at the door, who would visit me on Christmas eve? And would knock? All my men call first and if it was someone who didn't work here security would call me first.

I got up and opened the door. What I saw made my heart stop. Stephanie was standing on my doorstep, wearing one of those naughty Santa outfits. It was a short, very short Santa dress, that showed off her long luscious legs and enhanced her beautiful bosom. Her hair was falling down in beautiful curls, surrounding her face and everything topped with the traditional red hat. Her cheeks where blushed and her lips blood red. She was what every man secretly wants for Christmas. I just starred at her with my jaw dropped.

Her lips was curved into a grin and in her arms she held a box. 'Marry Christmas Ric.' She said in a seductive voice. She took a step towards me and put her lips against my ear. 'Have you been a good boy?' she whispered before she brushed past me and stepped into my apartment. Her warm breath against my neck sent shivers through my body. Was this really happening?

I finally snapped out of my frozen state and turned around and closed the door behind me. She was leaning against the back of my couch. 'What are you doing here?' I finally asked softly.

'I thought you should have a proper Christmas dinner instead of that rabbit food you always persist on. So I brought you some real Christmas food.' She said and held out the box to me.

'But shouldn't you be with your family? Or Morelli?' I added quietly.

'Morelli? Who's Morelli?' She asked me in a surprised voice. 'And my family can manage on their own. God knows that house is crowed enough as it is. So I thought there might be somebody else who would enjoy my company more.'

Well she was right about that. She really is amazing. I couldn't keep my eyes away from her delicious body in that outfit and my eyes wandering up and down her features. I felt the desire wake up inside me. She grinned at me. 'See something you like Ric?'

I slowly nodded my head. 'Yeah, really like.' I also loved how she called me Ric and not Ranger. It was so much more intimate.

'Well you see, me and Santa are pretty close.' She took a step towards me. 'And he has sent me to find out if you've been a good boy... or a bad boy.'

She ran her fingers up and down my abs and they contracted from her touch. 'Do you want me to be good... or bad?' I whispered against her neck in a husky voice.

She leaned into my face and brushed her lips against mine. 'Right now... I want you to be really bad.' She closed the space between us and kissed me for all she was worth.

I wasn't able to hold myself back anymore and my hands caressed every part of her that I could reach. I softy kissed my way down her neck, a moan escaped her lips and I almost lost it. Her hands were stroking my back and suddenly I felt her nails scrape through my t-shirt. I pushed her up against the wall and deepened the kiss. For a second she broke away from me and gazed into my eyes. 'I want you Ric,' she said, her lips brushing against mine. 'I want you, and only you.' I felt a warm feeling that had nothing to do with desire spread through my body as she ravaged my lips again. Just as I was about unzip her dress, a loud ringing sound caught my attention.

I woke up with a jerk, panting. For a second I was disoriented and wondered what was happening. Then I remembered... it was just a dream. It wasn't Christmas and Steph wasn't here wearing a naughty Santa's outfit. And she doesn't want me.

And my phone was ringing.

'What?' My voice sounded much more grim than I'd intended to.

'Big news on Abruzzi.' Tank said.

Suddenly all feelings of sleep and Christmas was washed away. 'I'll be right down.' I snapped my phone shut and bolted for the door.

- - - -

The news on Abruzzi was big. So big that I now found by self going up the stairs in Steph's building. As I reached her floor I stopped in my tracks. There was a couch standing in the hallway. And not just any couch, Steph's couch. I guess the vision of Soder dead on her couch still shook her. I hated the fact that she couldn't feel safe in her own apartment anymore. Everybody needs a place where they can feel safe, especially in a business like this. I could kill the man who did this to her. But again, I couldn't let her see my concern, it would only worry her.

I leant against the doorpost and rang her doorbell. 'Babe, your couch is in the hall.' I said in an amused voiced.

'It has death cooties.' She sounded just like child who'd been caught doing something it's not supposed to.

'I knew there'd be a good explanation.'

'You're such a show-off.' She said, shaking her head at me.

I guessed she was referring to the fact that I'd know she was at the tracks looking for Abruzzi even though she thought I wouldn't know. 'Even superheroes need to have fun once in a while.'

I brushed past her and stepped into her living room. The entire apartment smelled delicious of cookies. I knew that me liking the smell of cookies would surprise a lot of people. But they just don't realize that it's not that I don't like all the things that Steph stuff herself with everyday, it's just that I know what it does to you and your body. I actually love chocolate chip cookies but only eat them when my mother makes me. 'It smells like you're marking your territory with chocolate chip cookies.'

'I needed something to chase away the demons.'

I couldn't hint a sadness in her voice. 'Any problems?'

'Nope.' She replied. Well I guess pushing the couch into the hall helped a bit. 'So what's up? You look like you're dressed for work.'

'I had to secure a building earlier this evening.' I picked up a cookie from the plate on the floor. 'Frozen?'

'Not anymore.'

'How'd it go at the track?' I asked her.

'I ran into Eddie Abruzzi.' She explained.

I could tell that she didn't want me to know. Cause if she did she would be rambling non-stop. 'And?'

'We had words. I didn't find out as much as I'd hoped, but I'm convinced Evelyn has something he wants.'

That was the news Tank had called me about. I took a bite of the cookie. The cookie was delicious, but there was something more delicious in this room. 'I know what it is.' I finally said simply.

She froze, staring at me with her jaw dropped. 'What is it?'

I grinned at her. 'How bad do you want to know?'

'Are we playing?' she asked to my surprise.

It was meant as harmless teasing but her words turned things serious. I suddenly wanted to touch her. To kiss her and taste her. I shook my head no. 'This isn't play' I said as I backed her against the wall. I could hear her breath in fast as I leaned into her. I felt the heat from her body radiate against me and had to fight to keep my senses clear. I slid my leg between hers and brushed across her lips, wanting to feel her closer. 'How bad do you want to know, Steph?' My voice was beginning to get hoarse. Just the fact that I used her real name instead of babe indicated that wasn't playing. This was serious.

'Tell me.' Her voice was slightly breathless.

The rawness in her voice went straight to my pants. I wasn't the only one affected here. 'It'll get added to the dept.' I warned.

And for once, she didn't panic at the mentioning of the debt. Instead she looked into my eyes. 'Are you going to tell me, or what?'

I would've given everything to kiss her right in that moment, but forced myself to mentally shake my head to clear my thoughts. I needed to tell her this.

'Remember I told you Abruzzi is a war gamer? well does more than game. He collects memorabilia. Old guns, army uniforms, military medals. And he doesn't just collect them. He wears them. Mostly when he games. Sometimes when he's with women. I'm told. Sometimes when he's settling a bad debt. Word on the street is that Abruzzi is missing a medal. Supposedly the medal belonged to Napoleon. The story being told is that Abruzzi tried to but the medal, but the guy who owned it wouldn't sell it, so Abruzzi killed him and took the medal. Abruzzi kept the medal on his desk at his house. He wore it when he gamed. Believed it made him invincible.' I explained. This only proves that he's a nutcase. A very dangerous nutcase. And those are the worst kind.

'And this is what Evelyn has? The medal?' She asked.

'That's what I hear.'

'How did she get it?'

'I don't know.'

Now that I had said what I needed to said, my attention was somewhere completely different. I was very aware of her body so close to mine and desire was pumping through every wane in my body. I shifted against her and could feel a shiver of lust go trough her. Suddenly I got a vision of her in the Santa suite from my dream and almost pulled her down on the floor with me. Instead I lowered my head to her wonderful neck and kissed her soft skin. I put my tongue to the spot I'd just kissed and made small circles with it. How someone can taste so good is a mystery.

No woman has ever had this effect on me, even if they've aroused me and turned me on, I've always been able to control myself if I wanted to. But the woman in my arms did things to me I didn't think was possible. And there have been women more physically beautiful that has crossed my path, but they've never stirred any other emotion in me besides lust. Stephanie has something, something no one can put into to words that make her irresistible. There's something so glowing and alive about her that makes her more beautiful than all the other women put together.

One of my hands slid under her t-shirt and I felt her cool skin reacting to my heat. When I reached the base of her breast I couldn't hold it back anymore. I don't know if it was the memory of the dream, the smell of chocolate chip cookies, her luscious body or her radiating heat that did it, but suddenly I knew this was it. 'Pay-up time.' I got out in a ragged voice. 'I'm collecting on the dept.'

I could feel her limbs go weak, but I quickly grabbed her hand and tugged her towards the bedroom.

'The movie, the best part of the movie is coming up.' She tried.

She was not getting away this time, she wanted this just as much as I did. And we both knew it. I turned around and stopped just inches from her face, placing my hand on her neck. 'We're going to do this, babe. It's going to be good.' I said and pulled her into a passionate kiss. If it was half as good as kissing her, it would be more than good. It would be unbelievable.

I felt her give in as she deepened the kiss, and it became more demanding, more intimate. When her hands splayed on my chest, and started to explore every curve of my body, I thought I wasn't going to take it anymore. I broke from the kiss and pushed her the remaining steps into her bedroom. Before I even knew how, my clothes were on the floor and I moved on the hers. I peeled of her t-shirt and pants, kissing every part of skin I could reach. This was the moment I had, this was all it ever was going to be, so I was going to make the most of it. I removed her bra and almost tore off her panties. She was standing in front of me in all her naked glory and I knew there was no turning back. I pushed her onto the bed and trapped her with my body. Before I knew it, I was inside her, the world spinning around me.

Afterwards we lay together, trying to get our breathings to calm down. She was laying with her backside to my front, and I was running a lazy hand at the length of her curves. I'd once said to her that I would ruin her for other men. Now I though maybe it was the other way around.

The whole point of this night was for me to get her out of my system. That my attraction to her would fade. But then why was the only thing going through my head to do what we just done again? But longer and more intense this time. I convinced myself that it was only because I had promised myself one night with her, not one time with her. Until morning she was not Morelli's or anybody else's. She was mine, and I would use the time well.

'It's time.' I finally said.

'Now what?' She asked surprised.

'You didn't think the debt would be paid that easily, did you?'

'Uh-oh,' She said in an alarmed voice. 'Is this the part with the handcuffs?'

'I don't need handcuffs to enslave a woman.' I said and kissed her shoulder.

Last time I'd been acting in the heat of the moment. This time I was really going to take my time, exploring every inch of her delicious body and make her feel like she would never need another man again. I put my lips to her skin again and kissed my way down south, passing her neck, collarbone, her lovely nipples and sweet belly. And from the way she gasped for breath, I knew I was well on my way.

When I woke up and felt her against my bare skin, I knew it was all over. I'd had my chance, this was it, now it was time to back off. But for some reason, I didn't want to let her go. I had my arm around her and held her close to me for as long as I could. Suddenly the alarm on my watch rang, telling me it was time to stop pretending and go back to the real world. I shut off the alarm and checked my pager. The office needed me to come back. I felt a change in Steph's body, it wasn't relaxed any more, which meant that she was now awake.

I rolled out of the bed. 'I have to go, babe' I said. I got dressed and was out of the apartment in less then a minute.

I almost ran down the stairs of her building. When I reached my car, I jumped in and closed the door. I leant back against the headrest and closed my eyes.

What the fuck have I done? How could I ever tell myself that this was a good idea? This was possibly the worst idea I've ever had. And it had backfired completely.

I'd told myself that sleeping with her was the only way I could her out of my head. And she would never take the first step to something like that as long as the guilt over Morelli was in the picture. So I made her the deal and gave her no choice. Then it wasn't completely her fault... she wouldn't feel as guilty.

Well I don't know how guilty she felt, but the part about me getting her out of my head couldn't have failed more. Last night was... amazing. And not just because the sex was great, but because it felt like so much more. Like we connected on some level. And when I woke up she wasn't out of my head. She was more there than she's ever been.

How could I do this? This will only messed things up. Our work relationship will be messed up, at least for a while. Also, she wont know what to do about me. She knows my life 'doesn't lend itself to relationships' and she will go back to Morelli sooner or later. But since Steph doesn't take sex easily she will probably feel that she would be treating me wrong if she went back to Morelli directly after sleeping with me.

In all honestly, I don't want her to go back to Morelli. But she always does, no matter how bad he treats her, she always ends up in his arms again.

Somehow I need to show her that going back to Morelli is the best idea. I can't give her all the things she wants from a man, I want to... but I don't think I can. But Morelli probably can.

I leaned forward and rested my head against the steering wheel. How could I be so stupid? How could I think that this would make me forget about her? It gave me a taste of her and all it did was leaving me craving for more.

But I'm not the one she wants.

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