Why I am Locked Up in a Looney Bin
Chapter 6: Prisoners of the Monkey Cult
Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but school has been a bitch. Why does everyone say this? Oh well, I am so generic. I FEEL SO LOVED! All of you absolutely adored my last chapter, and have expressed it in many different ways! I tell you, if there ever was a nice warm fuzzy feeling, that was it, when I checked my email during Government (whoops, you weren't supposed to hear that!) and saw a nice lovely stack of reviews! To make you reviewers happy and give you a treat for all of your lovely reviews, I will give out… bananas! In honor of the monkeyest buttwipe ever, Admiral Zit. There is also a poll! Should I, or shouldn't I, make a sequel to this thing? And what should it be called? The Life and Times of a Disturbed Teenager? Or What Are You Doing with that Straightjacket? OR When Pigs Fly? Tell me! NOW!
Ahem. There are a few well deserved kudos to give out! PARTY! Woot!
Renealee- YAY! I am sooo glad you like my story! Here's a banana! When you eat it, think of yourself biting of The Zit's head. Oh, and yes. You are incredibly random! Write some fanfics please!
Zukosfire22- oooookay thanks for the review?
Sulana Jay- yes yes! Everyone needs a teddy! Glad you likies!
Lalaluvavatar- yes, his name is Mr. Snuggle Wuggles. And don't knock it! HAHAHA I love to see people grovel! AHAHAHA!
Monkaybrains127- you are the second person to use the word fuck in your review for chapter 5… I must be uberpopular! WOOT! Please, not the hog monkeys! Anything but the hog monkeys!
Almostinsane- I'm glad you like it! I will keep up the complete and total randomness!
Benlego13- of course you are! You loyally reviewed Alana and so you get your reward! Here is a banana and yes, you will continue to be in this wacko fanfic!
Firegurl107- Nu uh! Sokka is WAY cuter than Zuko! He is HOTT personified! But whatever, enjoy the chappie, I know you will.
After everyone had finished staring at Zuko freakishly, I broke the silence. "Wow, never would have expected that. But then again, the avatar cast crashed through my math room window, so I don't know what to expect!" I said in a high-pitched voice.
Sokka stirred things up a bit by falling over laughing, and it was one of those really hard laughs that are really contagious, so soon the whole boat was vibrating from our fits of laughter, and Zuko had the good grace to blush. Iroh just smirked through his mouthful of noodles, and Jun had a very humorous quizzical look on her face, so I took one look and laughed even harder.
The poor Xirxou had absolutely no idea what was going on, so it backed up and reared on its hind legs. Jun went tumbling off, and stood up immediately, angrily cracking her whip. Iroh spilled his noodles on himself. "Ow! HOT!"
"Now that's just a crying shame," I said with a perfectly straight face, kinda weird because I had been splitting my sides a second earlier. I was looking at Zhao, who I instantly gave a new nickname: Admiral Pancake, seeing as he had been squished flat by the Xirxou's hairy butt. He peeled himself off the deck and gave a very 2-D glare at me.
"I have had enough of your trickery, you insolent little peasant. You and your companions are now prisoners on my ship!" and with that he re-inflated himself and focused his limited attention span on exactly who my companions were. "The Avatar!" he exclaimed triumphantly. "And you, Prince Zuko, have been traveling with him all this time, and haven't even captured him."
"He tried!" Colleen piped up furiously. "Go right ahead Colleen. Defend your boyfriend and leave us to suffer with the Pancake." I drawled sarcastically.
"He's NOT my boyfriend!"
"Aw, c'mon Colleen, we all know how much you rave about him and his abs," Amber said, joining into the fray.
"Shut the hell up!" Colleen yelled, not very nicely.
"Such language for such a young girl," Zhao said, staring at her.
"Such huge sidies for such a fat monkey," she growled.
I was standing there just looking from Colleen to Zhao like someone watching a tennis match. Mind you, not my tennis matches, otherwise they would look one way and then the other, and then stop. Because I suck. "Play nice you two," I said, stepping between them before Colleen was reduced to carbon.
Zhao snarled, and grabbed my arm. "AAAAAAAAAAA monkey cooties!" I screamed, thrashing around. Two of his cronies stepped out of the shadows and grabbed Colleen and Amber. Even more swarmed out and grabbed Zuko, Sokka, Aang, and Katara. They were dragged to the dungeons, and we, well we were dragged even harder into a blank steel room.
"You three are going to be the entertainment for the crew tonight," Zhao said evilly. He stepped out of the doorway briefly, and then came back with a pile of something in his hands. "I want you to put these on." He held out a bundle of clothes. I took them quizzically, but all was revealed when the "clothes" turned out to be skanky little outfits like frilly thongs and leather bras, and whips and high heels.
"Well, sorry to disappoint you, but I am extremely disinclined to acquiesce to your request," I said hotly, holding the lingerie back out to him. Colleen lifted up a lacy black thong, then seeing what it was, dropped it like it was on fire.
"Come again?" Zhao said.
"Oh, how silly of me, I forgot that your puny monkey brain cannot process a complete sentence. Let me put it into a language that you will understand. You can shove these clothes where the sun don't shine. Got it?" I said sweetly, batting my eyes at him innocently.
He roared and lunged for my throat, fists flaming. I ducked and his punch landed on a steel wall. He was now howling in pain again, hopping around clutching his swollen fist. I tut-tutted and walked out the door, right past the guards, who were too busy staring at the lingerie to notice I was gone. Colleen and Amber quickly followed. We tiptoed through the corridors until we found ourselves completely lost.
"Where in the world are we?" Amber asked, her voice echoing off the walls.
Suddenly we heard footsteps coming down the hallway. "Uh-oh," I said, gulping and turning around.
MWAHAHA! Cliffy! I'm sorry this chapter was so short, but I promise I will update quickly and post a nice new longer chapter very soon!
luv to all,
Kelsey