Why I am Locked Up in a Looney Bin
All Hail the Bitch Princess and Bow Down to Fire Lord Llama
Ok. For the past few days, I have been drowning in reviews that say "Yes! Sequel! Soon!" so I am going to appease you guys. There will be a sequel. Now if I could only figure out the bloody title! Ok. A vote. What would you rather have it be called? The Life and Times of a Disturbed Teen, WTF? (Courtesy of reanealee) OR Another Fic Where you get Sucked into the TV? (That one's just a backup. I don't even know if it will fit in the space) OR Prisoner of the Men in White Coats?
Many kudos to give out today!
The archer- well excu-use me. Answering persistent questions, yes, you will continue to be in this uberfabu fic, and no, I didn't forget that you changed your name, Benny boy (lolness). curtsies My apologies Prince Ben.
FireGurl107- hugs me glad you likies! HUZZAH! SNOW DAY! DAMN CAPS LOCK. Oh well. A dream is a wish your heart makes! I even tease you through fanfiction. HAHA!
Renealee- of course I will put you in my fanfic! hugs Ok, hugs for everyone! -huggles everyone who reviewed and hands them bananas-
Salsa Mocha Chika- OMG I LOVE your name! And thanks for your review!
Yoko1212- yes, I remember you. I am updating as quickly as I can! Thanx 4 reviewing!
Sulana Jay- hi hi! Sorry about the scare, my compooper was being retarded. I hope you like this chapter!
If I forgot to mention you, thanks for reviewing anyways. -passes out anonymous bananas- but I got so many reviews that I can't keep track of them! Thanks you guys!
Dun Da Dunn! It continues! Who was walking down the hallway…? WARNING: a lot of swearing in this one! Whoopee!
"Well, well, well. If it isn't Miss Snarky, the Bitch Princess," I said, cocking my head at the figure in front of me. In a flash I was pinned to the wall by a hand around my neck.
"What did you call me?" Princess Zula snarled, pressing hard against my throat.
"Miss- Snarky- Bitch- Princess-" I choked, gasping for air. I impressed myself with my ability to be smart-alecky even in the face of impending doom. "Gerroff- me." I curled my knees up to my chest and kicked Zula in hers.
"Oof!" she gasped, slamming against the wall. Unfortunately that made a lot of noise, and it attracted some unwanted attention. Zhao hurried around the corner and stood in front of us.
"Ha! I found you, you little sneaks," he exclaimed triumphantly. I was sitting on the floor, holding my throat and wheezing. Zhao's eyes came to a rest on me, and he picked me up by my neck.
What is it with my neck? Do I have "Choke Me" written on there somewhere? I thrashed around in his grasp, turning redder by the second as my windpipe was squished.
"You're the one who kicked me, aren't you? Well, I'm going to have a lot of fun with you."
Colleen moaned, cradling her head in her hands (A/N: it's an inside joke, she's going to kill me for this -). Amber was staring dumbfounded at an unconscious Zula, while outside, Jun and Zuko battled their way through the soldiers who were trying to capture them. Iroh just sipped his tea from his trusty old ACME Portable Tea Cup and Kettle.
I began to see spots in front of my eyes, when suddenly Zhao let go of my throat. I crumpled on the steel (ouch) floor and massaged my bruised neck. I looked up to see what was happening, and found myself looking at… a llama? No, it couldn't be a llama. But there it was, standing all proud and llama-like with a little crown thing that looked just like Fire Lord Ozai's.
Amber's head did that little Anime thing where it tilts to the side and there's a little screeching sound, and Colleen's jaw dropped open. Zhao was bowing down in front of the llama.
"My Lord," he said, looking up at Fire Lord Llama.
"Whoa," I gasped, finding my voice. It was unpleasantly scratchy and sounded like I had sucked on a helium balloon for a while. "You're a llama? No wonder we never got to see your face. You look like a llama that sucked on a lemon!"
I ducked before he could grab my poor neck like only a llama could grab, but he managed to singe some of my blonde hair with his uberpowerful llama firebending. "Hey!" I yelled. "Where the hell are all of you coming from? First it was the main characters, but then it was Zhao, and then Jun and Iroh, and now it's Ozai and Zula! Go home!"
I made an awesome slashy motion with my arm, and all of a sudden a portal opened up in the air in front of me. Instantly Ozai and Zula disappeared, and Jun, the Xirxou and Iroh came zooming into it. Zhao grabbed onto his ship as the portal tried to suck him in, but I dropped my hand stupidly and the portal closed up.
"Aw shit." I said, trying to do the slashy motion again, but nothing happened. Zhao let go of the doorway and turned to us with malicious glee in his eyes.
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Now back to the story!
Amber, Colleen and I all stood in the middle of our little steel room, wearing those ridiculous skanky outfits Zhao shoved under our noses.
"I can't believe I'm actually wearing this," I complained, staring down at my outfit of a black lacy bra with matching boy short undies, thigh length pantyhose with garters, and stilettos. "I feel like a slut."
"At least he gave us a choice," Colleen piped up miserably from the corner.
"Yeah, which was we get to put them on, or the crew puts them on for us," Amber snorted, examining her own outfit. "Where did he get this stuff anyways, unless they have exciting underwear stores in Avatar land?"
"I think I saw a Victoria's Secret catalogue in his room as we walked by it," Colleen joked, trying to lighten us up. Amber and I glared at her, and she shrank back into her corner.
Suddenly the doorknob rattled, and I poised myself for a powerful kick to the family jewels if Admiral Zhao should even think to come near us. But when the door swung open, it was Zuko who stood in the doorway.
"Zuko! You saved us!" Colleen squealed, throwing her arms around his neck and planting a kiss on his cheek.
"Get off me, you crazy girl!" he yelled, pushing her away. I dropped out of my fighting stance and pulled Amber to her feet, trying hard not to break my ankle in those stupid shoes. "What in the world are you wearing!" he exclaimed, noticing our new clothes.
"These are courtesy of Monkey Face," I said, trying very hard not to blush. Colleen and Amber had also noticed their own predicaments, and looked like human tomatoes. "Can we go now? Before the armada catches up to us?"
We ran, or rather, did a very good impression of running, down the hall, until we passed Zhao's room again. He was lying on the floor, out cold, and there was a ring of keys hanging on a hook labeled "Dungeons", so I grabbed the keys and we headed for the dungeons.
I walked down the row of cells until I came to one that was occupied. Sokka and Katara were huddled in there, and Katara was crying. "Psst! Guys! We're busting you out!" I hissed, trying some of the keys until one fit in the lock. The door swung open and Katara threw herself at me, sobbing her thanks into my shoulder.
Sokka was staring at all of us girls, and I glared right back at him. He caught on and looked away, a light blush coloring his cheeks pink. "Where's Aang?" I asked, looking into all of the vacant cells.
"They took him down to a high security cell at the end," Sokka whispered, pointing down the row.
We walked as quietly as we could, but when we reached the far door, two guards stepped out of the shadows. Quick as a blink, my stilettos found the two guard's most sensitive spots, and we pushed open the door.
Aang was only too happy to come along with us, although he did stare at our ensembles for a second. Katara quickly enveloped him in a bone-crushing hug though, and he instantaneously forgot all about us as he hugged Katara back.
"Ahem," I said, breaking the two lovebirds apart. "As much as I would like to continue this romantic reuniting, but we have to haul ass before the guards get up."
And so we ran/staggered up the stairs and out onto the deck, became temporarily blinded by the sunlight, and stopped at the railing, wondering how the hell we were going to get off this ship.
"How the hell are we going to get off this ship?" Colleen asked, looking around the canyon. "I really don't feel like swimming all the way back, and we don't have a boat anymore."
A sharp whistle echoed off the canyon walls, and we all hurried over to the other side of the deck. Sitting in the water was a sleek motorboat, and in the seat were two people, one person I recognized and one I didn't.
"Ben!" I yelled, waving madly.
Colleen fetched some rope and we tied it to the railing, and then climbed down into the speedboat. I took off my shoes and held them in my hand as I climbed down.
"Who are you?" Ben asked Colleen and Amber, and they quickly introduced themselves. "And what on earth are you wearing?"
I sighed. "It's a long story. Who are you?" I directed my question to the girl sitting next to him.
"I'm Ellen, but my name on is Reanealee.Who are you?" she said, being annoyingly perky. I immediately decided this girl was worth being friends with.
"I'm Kelsey," I said simply, too mentally exhausted to come up with a witty reply.
"Oh my God, are you serious? The one who wrote Why I'm Locked Up in a Looney Bin? I can't believe I'm meeting you!"
"Chica, you're IN Why I'm Locked Up in a Looney Bin," Colleen stated, tearing her gaze off of "her hero" for 2 seconds.
"Holy SHIT!"
"Yeah. Join the club," Amber laughed.
So? Whadja think? Did you like? I need reviews! They keep me sane, although I might just be a little on the un-sane side… SEASON FINALE TONIGHT, oh my God I can't wait! This chapter was dedicated to my best chica Colleeny Beany, who is just so much fun to tease. You should have heard her dream that she had the other day… is tackled by Colleen-san HEY! -bites Colleen- see you- punch- on the next- TAKE THAT!- installment of -OW! THAT HURT!- WHY I'M LOCKED UP IN A LOONEY BIN! -I'll teach you to mess with me, bitch! HIYAAHH!-
One armed hugs,
Kelsey-san
BTW, didn't the season finale totally kick ass?