Why I am Locked Up in a Looney Bin
Chapter 9: Holy Grails and HOLY CRAP!
AHA! I am (finally) back with the ubergooberly cool chapter nine! And I must say, if you have never experienced writer's block before, it's a painful thing. I got all these reviews saying "Update please!" and I had to reply saying I had a MAJOR case of writer's block. Which I did. Just so you know. Oh, and I have decided on a title for the sequel! It is…. Drumroll please…… Water, Earth, Fire, Air, and Duct Tape. I got the idea from my school's DI team poster. You like, you don't like, let me know! I have no soul and I haven't updated in the longest time. But I have another excuse! Midterms are coming up and I have had to study like CRAZY! Well, enough of my ramblings. Moving on… oh yeah, one last little thing. This chapter has some Zutara, some kissing, and some teen partying in it –cough-alcohol-cough-, so if you don't like that stuff, sucks for you. Also, this chapter has some, ahem, GIRL problems in it, if you catch my drift. I am sooo evil, making you wait and then giving you a crap chapter… bwahahaha…
Disclaimer- for God's sake, I don't own Avatar! If I did, we'd get to see Sokka shirtless… mwahaha… seriously, we have seen every other main male character shirtless (Zuko, Zhao, Iroh, Aang) except for Sokka! I mean, what is up with that! The people at Nick Studios are a buncha sadists, making us Sokka fangirls have to suffer through Zuko and Aang's bods and denying us of Sokka's abs.
KUDOS!
The archer- I like pie. Pie is good. Thanks much for the review and here is your lovely chapter, and yes, you are in it.
Renealee- oops! Sorry, Ellen, I didn't know your name! You will be known as Ellen from here on. And OMGWTFBBQ you're giving up Zuko! -passes out-
Arwen Amorita- thanks for your review!
FireGurl107- YAY for updating!
AvatarMaham- YAY for updating! Yay for you writing a fanfic! Way 2 go chica! And thrice YAY for the new name, foreverhorses!
Wow that was a long intro… I'm sorry if I skipped your review, if I did thanks anyways! Well, instead of torturing you even more and making you wait…………………………………………………………… ok I'm done. On with the story!
Wise inner person- FINALLY!
Me- SHUT THE HELL UP! -clobbers inner wise bitch person- MESS NOT WITH FEMALE HORMONES! Seriously, guys, that's some quality advice right there. If it's that time of the month for your girlfriend, do her a BIG favor and give her lots and lots of chocolate and don't say anything like "Your butt DOES look big in those jeans" or prepare to die.
We flew over the water towards blessed land in the sleek boat. Ellen was staring at us like we all had grown another head, and I really don't blame her. We were dressed up like freakin' sluts for God's sake! Colleen was still rather prickly about me teasing her, so when she noticed the other girl staring, she didn't hesitate to give her the finger.
"Ouch!" Ellen said, putting her hand over her heart and plastering a hurt look on her face.
"Enough with the fighting, kids. I'm too tired to play ringleader right now," I moaned, sitting up and glaring at Colleen. Colleen stuck her tongue out at me, so I bent her finger back the wrong way.
"OWowowowow, MERCY!" Colleen yelped, trying to pull her middle finger out of my grasp.
"I have no mercy for non-Zutara fans," I growled, letting her finger go all the same.
"You have issues, you know that?" This comment came from Ben, and he turned his attention from the steering wheel to our little girl fight. "You all do."
"Thanks very much," I said dryly, leaning back against the leather seat.
"FOR GOD'S SAKE, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE DRIVING!" Ellen shrieked, lunging for the wheel before we collided with a rock formation. "Holy crap, we almost died."
"Psh. That's nothing. I had to endure a HUGE explosion, and then being tortured into slut clothes, and then being rescued by a knight in a shining motorboat!" Amber ranted, and we victims nodded our heads. "Come complain to me when you've gone through that."
"Why Amber, I do believe you are actually being smart-assed for once!" I commented, patting her on the back. "I'm proud of you!" I earned a few weird looks for my trouble and the rest of the ride back was spent in silence. Sokka, Katara, Zuko, and Aang were sitting quietly in their seats, looking incredibly freaked out. I really don't blame them.
Right before we docked, Aang asked the bombshell question. "What is Zutara?"
I seriously considered throwing myself off the boat rather than explain to the kid what Zutara was. "It's nothing," I muttered.
"But you told Colleen that you had no mercy for non-Zutara fans. That must mean that you're a fan of whatever it is and she isn't, am I right?"
"Kid, you are too damn smart for your own damn good," I said, staring at him. "Zutara is a pairing, or a ship, as we fans call it. Remember what I showed you on the TV? That show that you guys were in? We are all dedicated fans, and because we have too much free time, we come up with ships. Zutara is one of them. It stands for-" I couldn't bring myself to say it.
"It stands for what?" Katara asked, becoming involved in the conversation.
"Oh, God. It stands for Zuko-Katara, ok!" A loooong, heavy silence followed, the kind that makes you feel like sinking into a hole, usually because this kind of silence follows something awkward or embarrassing.
Aang looked like he had had his heart cut out with a pickax, and Katara looked dangerously close to fainting. Zuko, being the dignified prince that he is, simply flushed a bright red.
"So… DO you like each other?" I asked, breaking the silence. Katara looked down at her hands and blushed, and Zuko looked away, an uncomfortable look on his face. "HA! I knew it!" I crowed triumphantly.
"Um, can we pick a different topic to talk about?" Sokka asked, squirming in his seat. "Because this is a little awkwar- OH MY GOD, KELSEY, WHAT HAPPENED!"
I had stood up to get out of the boat, and I turned around to stare at him. "What on earth are you talking about? I feel fine!"
"B-but, when you stood up your seat had a whole bunch of blood on it!"
I went pale. Sokka was right, there was a small pool of blood on the seat I had just vacated, and when I touched my butt, it came away coated with the red stuff. "SHIT!" I yelled, grabbing a black towel and wiping away the blood on the seat. "Shit, shit, SHIT! Why, God, why now!" I wrapped the towel firmly around my waist and stomped back to the villa as best as I could in stilettos.
"What happened to her?" Zuko asked, staring after my receding form.
"Sokka, remember that thing you found in Kelsey's room, the one she got really pissed off at you about?" Colleen asked. Sokka nodded. "Well, this is what they're used for. It happens to all teenage girls once a month, and what a time for Kelsey to get hers!"
"Yeah, I got mine last week," Amber lamented, looking at Katara. "What about you?"
"Mine just ended the day before we came to your world," Katara whispered, blushing slightly.
"Katara, this happens to you too?" Sokka asked, bewildered. "You never told me about it!"
"Well, it's not something that most girls talk about in a public conversation!" Katara retorted, climbing out of the boat. Aang climbed out after her, then Sokka, Zuko, Colleen, Amber, Ellen, and Ben.
When they got to the villas, Colleen, Katara, and Amber went into the girl's villa and Sokka, Zuko, and Aang entered the boy's one. Ellen and Ben waved their good-byes and walked into their respectable villas.
"Stupid motherfucking hormones," I growled, ripping around in the paper bags of food we had brought on the trip. "Where's the chocolate?" Instead of a Hershey bar, my hand touched two twelve-packs of Bud Light. I pulled them out, and looked at Colleen with one eyebrow up.
"Um, heh, I t-thought, just in case?" Colleen stuttered sheepishly, squirming uncomfortably.
"You are an effing genius, you know that? Who's up for a party tonight?"
(A/N: In case you guys haven't guessed the ages for this story yet, I'm 15, Colleen and Amber are both 16, Ben and Ellen can pick their ages, and the Avatar people are the same age as they are on the show)
I popped my head through the door of the guy's villa. "Sokka, Zuko, you guys up for a little party tonight?"
"Party? Sure!" Sokka answered enthusiastically, and Zuko nodded.
"Hey, how come I'm not invited?" Aang whined from his place on the couch.
"Because you're not old enough," I said sweetly.
"I'm 112!"
"You didn't gain those hundred years, kid. In my book, you're 12," I said, pulling my head back outside. "Amber, Colleen, you guys go ask Ben and Ellen if they wanna come, I'm going to the convenience store to get snacks."
I stepped into the air-conditioned mini-mart and headed straight for the chip aisle, pulling down bags of Lays and Doritos as I walked. Tostitos and salsa went in the basket too, along with some soda in case people didn't want beer. I gave the person behind the counter my debit card, and strode back up to the villa considerably weighed down by the food.
Once inside, the food went into the mini fridge along with the two cases of Bud, and Colleen was picking out a DVD to watch. "How do Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Heartbreakers sound to you?"
"Fine, fine. Did you bring some CDs?"
"Yeah, I have Kelly Clarkson and Now 20," Colleen answered, poking through her backpack.
"Perfect. I have Black Eyed Peas, Gwen Stefani, and Fall Out Boy. That should last us the night. Roll up the carpets, its party time!"
(A/N: I know there's a lot of these, but Ellen, Ben, I put you in the party scene not because I think you would actually do this, but because it just put more people in the scene. Don't worry; you guys won't do anything bad besides drinking)
"I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster, and you father smelt of elderberries!" Even though most everyone besides Katara, Sokka, and Zuko had seen the movie already, we were all clutching our sides from laughing so hard. I wiped a tear from my eye.
"That part gets me every time," I giggled, almost spilling my beer on the floor. In the background, "My Humps" blasted, and the counter in the kitchenette was lined up with drinks and snacks.
"Me too," Ellen laughed, taking a big bite of her chips and salsa.
Katara hesitantly sniffed a can of Bud. "What is this stuff?"
"It's beer," I said, my words slurring slightly. "It's got alcohol in it, so if you don't want to get wasted, I suggest you drink soda." I smiled at her and took a sip of my drink. Katara popped the tab after some struggling and took a quick sip. She made a face. "It does take some getting used to," I said wryly.
"Ok, boys and girls, it's time for the ceremonial game of Truth or Dare!" Ellen called, clapping her hands together and weaving slightly on the spot. "For all you noobs who haven't played this before, the rules are as such. One person starts and asks another person the question 'truth or dare?', and the person asked has to choose. If they pick truth, they have to answer a question honestly, and they can't turn back. If they pick dare, they have to do a dare, and it can be as crazy as the person asking wants it to be. You get three chickens when you pick dare, but after three you have to do it. If you pick truth three times in a row, you have to do a dare after your third truth. That just about covers it, so who wants to start?"
Colleen waved her hand in the air wildly, and Ellen pointed at her and sat down heavily, sloshing her beer. "Let's see, Katara. Truth or dare?" Colleen asked, looking at the waterbender.
"Um, truth," Katara answered.
"Ok. Hmm… who would you rather kiss, Zuko or Aang?"
Katara flushed, and looked down at her hands. She muttered something incoherent.
"Sorry, didn't catch that," Colleen trilled cheerfully, mostly in part because she was on her second can.
"Z-Zuko," Katara whispered, turning as red as a beet. Zuko stared at her wide-eyed, and she blushed even harder. "Is it my turn? Um, Sokka, truth or dare?"
Sokka grinned. "Dare," he said, puffing out his chest.
"I dare you to… kiss Kelsey!" Katara smirked at her brother. His chest deflated almost instantly.
"Katara… you're evil." He put a hand under my chin and turned my face so I was facing him. Slowly, he leaned closer, and I closed my eyes, feeling the stares of all the other people in the room. His soft lips pressed against my own, and fireworks went off in my brain. I felt like I was flying; this was everything a first kiss should be like. It was over all too quickly, and I was sent crashing back to earth.
"Whoa…" I breathed. Everyone was staring at me, and I felt my face heat up. It was Katara who broke the silence.
"Ok, NOW you can say you've kissed a girl," she teased, poking her brother in the shoulder.
"Hey! What about Yue?" he protested, completely unfazed.
"She kissed you, remember, not the other way around."
"Whatever. Ben, truth or dare."
"Truth," Ben answered hesitantly.
"Have YOU ever kissed a girl?" Sokka asked jokingly.
"Um, no, I haven't kissed a girl before," Ben said, looking relieved that the question was so simple. "Uh, Zuko, truth or dare?"
Zuko looked slightly uncomfortable, but he shrugged and replied with dare.
"Your dare is to, um, you have to kiss Katara!" I gaped at him. This was totally unlike the Kataang Ben I knew. Ben noticed my face and grinned. "Well, Aang isn't here right now, is he?"
Katara's mouth was opening and closing like a fish out of water, and a blush was creeping up her neck. "I-I-" she was cut off by Zuko's mouth being pressed over hers. At first, her eyes opened even wider, but then they shut tight and her arms snaked themselves around Zuko's neck.
Sokka was sitting next to me, eyes as round as saucers, and it was his turn for his mouth to open and close without a sound. He made a little choking noise as Katara parted her lips to allow Zuko further access, and looked dangerously like he might jump over and strangle the older boy. I seized a can of beer and poured the drink into Sokka's open mouth. He almost choked on the beer, but gratefully took the can and downed the whole thing in three gulps. After he was done, he looked marginally calmer about the whole matter, and swayed slightly where he sat.
Finally they had to come up for air, and Katara was sitting next to Prince Zuko, cheeks pink, gulping in oxygen. I handed her the can of beer she hadn't finished, and she too gulped that down. Zuko had already had two beers, and he growled softly at Katara, who giggled and sealed her lips back over Zuko's.
"Right," I said. "It looks like Zuko is too busy playing tonsil hockey to take his turn, so I'll just go. Who wants to ask me?"
Ellen waved her hand in the air, and took a steadying breath. "Truth or dare?" she asked thickly.
"Dare," I said. I am most definitely one to take risks.
Ellen grinned evilly. "Your dare is to relieve yourself of your shirt."
I whimpered at her. "B-but…,"
"You're not wearing a bra are you?" Ellen pouted. I shook my head, blushing madly. "Fine. Your new dare is to…
Cliffie… I am too evil… please review, reviews are my food! FEED ME! OMFG March 17 is not coming fast enough! The first eppy is called "The Avatar State" and the second is called "The Cave of Two Lovers"… I hope Zuko and Katara are those 2 lovers… mwahaha… but it's most likely going to be a Kataang… boo. And I'm sorry I butchered you Ben! Seriously! It just sort of happened! XD youprobably hate meright now...