In the silence created in the wake of K and Quark's "departure", Alice clears her throat.

"Let's split up for now, Clover." she says. "Be sure to grab anything useful you find, and make sure to tell me if anything... interesting... happens."

"…right." I reply, feeling slightly unnerved by how she phrased that. "See you soon, Alice."

Alice nods, then turns around and walks to the other end of the corridor, exiting into the passage that eventually connects to the other two unlocked rooms. The door slides shut behind her, and I suddenly find myself the only one in the hallway.

I sigh. I'd have thought I'd feel more relieved to finally be left to my own devices again, but in truth, I mostly just feel mentally worn out... having to constantly be worried about so many different things is utterly exhausting.

Still, I have some "free time" to think over my major issues again, which I need to try and take advantage of while I still have the chance. Such moments have proven to be a real rarity thus far, after all.

I take a moment to consider where to go for this. There's no way I'm staying in the crew quarters for any longer than I already have — even if K and Quark weren't still hanging around the place, with the way my skin was starting to crawl being blocked inside that room, I think I would rather be literally anywhere else at the moment. Unfortunately, only three other rooms have been unlocked thus far, which makes my alternatives fairly limited if I want to be alone…

Maybe I should just head back to the warehouse? If the others are all still looking for alternative exits, I doubt anyone is in there right now.

Deciding it's at least worth checking, I turn around and exit the crew quarters the same way I came in. Being pretty much right next door, it only takes me twenty seconds or so to get to the warehouse — and coming back from the cramped crew quarters, the massive room seems even larger than usual. I can't help but briefly compare myself to an ant, trapped inside of a giant terrarium, fruitlessly searching for a nonexistent exit...

Trying to put that thought out of mind, I quickly scan the area, not spotting anyone in the process. Okay, good... I'd still rather not just be standing around in here in plain sight though. I'm supposed to be searching for an alternative exit right now, like everyone else theoretically is, so if someone suddenly comes in and asks why I'm not doing anything, I won't have any good answer to give them. Is there anywhere in here where I won't be in the immediate view of someone entering?

I look around again, but unfortunately, this is probably the worst possible place one could pick to play hide-and-seek. The area is completely open, with the AB rooms being the only notable objects in the entire space.

I give the rooms a second look. Could I maybe get behind one of those? No, there's not nearly enough room for that. I suppose I could get on top of one, but even with the hatches they're pretty flat, so that wouldn't be much of a hiding space either. Maybe if I just tuck myself behind the room in the far back...?

I take a moment to examine the angle from each of the Chromatic Doors. Actually, yeah, that would work fine — there's no immediate visibility of that corner from any of them, which should make it the perfect place to just sit down and not be noticed for a while. Guess I'll do that then.

With that settled, I walk over and move behind the rightmost AB room… and immediately recoil backwards as I nearly step on Dio's bloodstained knife.

I try to still my suddenly racing heart. Right, this is here... actually, I was going to get rid of the knife again before Dio came to retrieve it, wasn't I? I'd already totally forgotten. That could have been really bad, so I guess it's lucky I ended up coming here anyways… if only I felt even remotely "lucky" to so much as be laying eyes on this thing again.

I gingerly pick up the bloody piece of metal by one of the few still-white sections of the cloth wrapped around it and hold it out at arm's length, as far away from myself as I possibly can. Even knowing this technically isn't the weapon that ended up killing me before, just knowing both what it is and whose it is serves as more than enough of a reminder to make me cringe.

Not wanting to hold on to the weapon for any longer than I absolutely have to, I turn to the AB room beside me. While it's almost flush to the wall, there's a wide enough crack for me to easily toss the knife behind it, which I immediately do, my throw landing the blade two rooms further down. The sound of metal on metal rings out for a moment before it settles in the darkness of the crevice, making it difficult to even see.

There — that should be fine, right? It's far enough out of reach that Dio won't be able to retrieve it even if he notices it's there, and the B. Garden isn't currently open, so the paring knife is also completely out of play. That should keep me safe from either of them, at least for the moment.

Unless...

A chill runs down my spine. Unless, that is, Dio comes looking for his knife right now, and finds me standing right next to where he expects it to be. He should be significantly less dangerous without a weapon, but I absolutely do not trust that to stop him from trying something if he finds me alone. I need to move-!

I take about two steps backward before forcing myself to freeze in place.

No... stay calm, me. Dio shouldn't come looking for his knife until the second AB round ends, at the earliest. I know this, because that's how it went the first time I went through this timeline, and unlike the AB choices, nothing I've done in either of the last two timelines should have changed that. Dio doesn't even know what the Morphogenetic Field is, and there's no hint given in VLR that he ever learns anything from it. Stop panicking...

Not feeling nearly as reassured as I'd like, but knowing I can't afford to waste any more time worrying about this, I do my best to settle my spiking paranoia as I sit down on the cold metal of the floor, leaning up against the side of the AB room. I then check the timer on my bracelet, which tells me that I have a little less than 20 minutes before I need to head downstairs.

That doesn't feel like anywhere even close to long enough. I haven't even gotten a chance to properly process my second death yet — sure, it was nothing compared to the first one, to the point that the impact of my own actions immediately prior were more upsetting than anything else about it, but I still died, which is hardly made much less horrifying by the fact that it came too fast to really hurt this time.

...then again, it's not like I really want to linger on the subject. Perhaps it's even a good thing I have limited time after all, as it means that simple pragmatism compels me to keep moving forward. The subject of my previous deaths is upsetting, but my time would be better spent figuring out how to avoid having something like that happen again, which is why I'm here in the first place.

So let's do that.

Forcing my thoughts back onto the topic I actually came here to consider, my immediate instinct is to try to SHIFT again, right here and now. After all, both of the times I've actually managed to do it so far have been conducted while not within the immediate presence of any other espers. As such, that clearly isn't an absolute necessity, even if it may still help.

After another moment's thought however, I decide to hold off trying to leave for now. The concept of SHIFTing at will still feels too heavily linked to my memory of Dio killing me, and until I manage to get over that, I'm likely not going anywhere unless — or more likely, until — I die again, horrifying as that is. Besides, even if I succeed in expelling my consciousness back into the MGF without fatal assistance this time, it won't be all that helpful unless I can direct myself to the part of the larger timeline I actually want to be in, which I've thus far had no real control over. I need a solution for that, else I'll be stuck hopping from branch to branch at random, hoping for blind luck to take me where I want to go… possibly forever.

Swallowing, I quickly brush that thought aside, trying not to think about it in favor of actually concentrating on the issue.

So far, it seems like as soon as my consciousness leaves the physical realm, I lose all motivation to care about… anything, really. It's like my mind is covered by a shroud of apathy, which only removes itself again when I reenter the timeline proper. Which is weird, because I don't recall anyone in the games mentioning an inability to direct which timeline they SHIFT to — although, I suppose I don't actually know how much control they have over that to begin with. Technically, the player controls where Sigma goes next in VLR, and we don't actually know what it's like for Phi, since we never directly see her viewpoint. The two of them do manage to target specific timeline branches and sections on more than one occasion, but that's only after they've already unconsciously SHIFTed at least a dozen different times… maybe I just need to do it a few more times myself to gain more control then?

I squeeze my eyes shut and shudder. Considering the circumstances it's taken me to SHIFT so far, I really don't like the thought of that. Surely there's some other, preferable explanation that makes some decent modicum of sense.

Let's see... Zero Time Dilemma has everyone simultaneously SHIFT to a specific "safe" timeline at the very end of the game, with all nine of them focusing on their destination in concert to do so. In which case, maybe my inability to direct myself thus far is just because I wasn't thinking of any particular part of the timeline I wanted to go to? I had a time and place in mind during my less imminent SHIFT attempts, but in both of the instances in which I actually succeeded, I was slightly too busy actively dying to think of a specific destination. Could it really be that simple though...?

Finding myself unable to come up with any other hypothesis that sounds even remotely plausible, I ultimately conclude that yes, it really could be. I guess next time something kills me, I'll just have to try and keep focused on SHIFTing to the start of the timeline — I truly hope it turns out to be that easy.

Alright, that's my first big issue maybe-resolved, with at least a hypothesis to test the next time I get the "opportunity" to do so. In which case, I suppose I should also try to tackle the second, directly-related issue.

Namely, why can't I SHIFT except upon being killed?!

I let my head thump against the side of the AB room I'm leaning against in fatigued frustration. Of all the questions I've yet to answer, this is probably the most important one to resolve, because if I don't, that "minor" case of PTSD I'm pretty sure I've picked up is only going to get worse and worse, and I'd really rather not end up a complete basket case by the end of this.

It just doesn't make sense though — yes, SHIFTing is easiest when one is close to or actively dying, but it isn't supposed to work only in those circumstances. Is it possible there's just something crucial I'm forgetting about how the process works?

I wrack my brain for a moment, but I honestly don't think that's it. I'm almost certain I remember the three main requirements for SHIFTing correctly, and all of them should be present and accounted for. I've definitely got stress covered, and the danger is so clear at this point that I've literally been traumatized by it. I suppose it could be that the danger didn't reach the required "threshold" until it became physically imminent, but that doesn't seem right either — there are multiple endings in VLR where nothing is directly threatening Sigma, but he still manages to SHIFT away from the timeline due to the perceived direness and/or hopelessness of the situation. Also, if you take the interface literally — as, again, it's implied you're meant to — Sigma SHIFTs multiple times when there's no apparent danger at all beyond the situation at large. In which case, that shouldn't be a valid reason that I'm failing to do the same.

I sigh again, the action failing to express even a bare fraction of my worries.

There is still the "epiphany" component I suppose. I'd sooner assume that was the issue over the other two requirements, since I've already technically solved all the escape rooms here before. I barely even remember anything about them after years of not playing the game though, so I doubt that-

My eyes widen as something suddenly occurs to me.

Wait... the escape rooms aren't supposed to be the only source of "epiphany" in VLR. In fact, they might not even be meant to be the main source. Everything about the Nonary Game is presented as one large mystery, with answers being slowly doled out and available only through the act of traversing multiple timelines. I, coming in with that knowledge already, don't need to do that… but, what if that's the reason I'm having so much trouble SHIFTing to begin with? Because I already know so much about the situation itself?

My mind races as I consider the idea further. I don't remember most of the small stuff, but I do know pretty much all of the broad details, which means this situation isn't nearly as uncertain for me as it is for Sigma and Phi. Up until the very end of the game, they still had huge overarching questions to resolve, while, aside from some confusion over the finer points of SHIFTing, my only big questions are how I got here and how I get out. There's far less for me to discover, no larger puzzle for me to put together…

Shit. This makes far too much sense, and it's something I have no real solution for. I can't just make up new mysteries for myself to solve, but nor can I force myself to forget what I already know. And if I'm not learning anything, never having those critical moments of "realization" that I apparently need, I might not be able to SHIFT in any way other than dying...

In fact, I might stop being able to SHIFT at all.

I grit my teeth, trying to push down the increasingly familiar rising panic in my chest. No, no, I can't think that way! Surely there are other things I can "solve" that go beyond the scope of the video game's version of events. I mean, assuming I've got the right of it, just figuring this out should qualify as an epiphany all on its own, shouldn't it? And there have been other odd things I've been wondering about too, like the existence and acknowledgment of the secret files, and why Future-Phi seems to have a problem with me... there's been plenty of stuff like that, right?

My jaw relaxes, my heart gradually slowing down again as I consider that further.

Yeah- yeah, that could work, couldn't it? Now that I think about it, I've actually got quite a few unsolved mysteries stacked up at this point. I just haven't really cared enough to have more than a passing curiosity in most of them. If all I need to do is be more invested in actually answering those questions, then I can probably do that — I'm usually pretty good at puzzles, aren't I? At least, I'd like to think I am...

I slowly stand back up, my mood finally beginning to brighten a little. If I really did just figure out the answer to both of my major issues, then I think I might actually be able to do this. Yes, I've made some bad decisions as of late, and yes, I may end up dying again at some point, because that's just what this game is largely about. But as long as I'm able to learn from my mistakes, I should be able to make up for them in time, and as long as death isn't permanent, I can find a way to push past it — no, I will find a way to push past it.

No matter how long it takes, no matter what I have to do, no matter who I have to be...

I'm going to live.