Starting Over: Where were you?

by tarskeewee08

(John's POV)

Hearing her slam out of the door I sigh. Watching her sleep all-night was heavenly. When she kissed me I wanted her so bad I almost gave into to tasting her again. Then she said something that made it all worth it. She told me she loved me. I can hear her now.

"I love you…." she moaned turning over. "I love you John…."

I could have told her what she said but I thought better of it. I would do it right this time. I wanted her and she will come to me willingly. Rising from my chair I look at the bed she slept in and smile. She was so close I could feel it. "You will be mine again Evangeline. I can be patient" Smiling I go to the bathroom to take a shower. Today had already started on a good note for me.

(Evangeline's POV)

"Oh god" I moan fumbling with my keys to get inside. The door flings open before I can turn the knob and Phil is standing there glaring at me and I want to die.

"Where the hell were you!" he hisses.
"I can explain…" I say pushing pass him. Hearing him slam the door I jump. He has every right to be angry. I'm so damn stupid. Turning to face him I see him looking me up and down. My hair is tangled and makeup smeared. My suit is wrinkled and he could tell I slept in it.

"Evangeline, please don't tell me you slept with him." he says his face contorted in pain.
"Oh god baby no…Absolutely not!" I say dropping my purse and going to him. I touch his face tenderly and look into his eyes welled with tears.

"I had too much to drink and passed out. He let me sleep it off in his bed. That's all. Nothing happened. I slept in my clothes…"

"Drunk?" He asked shocked.
"Phil…I shouldn't have drank, this is my fault."
"Why would you get drunk with him?"
"It was stupid on my part. I just had too many drinks during dinner. Please say you understand. I would never betray what we have. I love you" I say pleadingly. God please say he understands.

"You let me sit here all night and wonder where you were. And the entire time you were drinking and partying with your ex?"
"Phil…"
"No Van dammit! I have been there for you. I deserve respect! This hurts dammit!"
"I'm sorry….Phil please…" I say crying now. God I never meant to hurt him.
"Van you have to know what he's doing. He's trying to drive us apart."

I look at him and frown wiping away my tears. This was my fault, John wasn't trying to sabotage us. He was a perfect gentlemen. "This isn't his fault…"

"Don't defend him!" he yells

I look at him shocked. I have never in the year we've been together heard him raise his voice. I see his eyes blazing with anger. "Phil…you will have to trust me."

"I trust you….I don't trust him. He all but told me that he wanted you back!"
"He what?"
"That's right he came to get a psyche review and he admitted to wanting you back!"
"Well it doesn't matter I don't want him back. I want you…please Phil baby you have to believe me!"

He smiles weakly "I believe you" he says and pulls me into his arms. I hug him and feel a great sense of relief wash over me. I would never hurt him. I love him. He rubs my back as I think about what John said before I left him. God why now? I was happy really happy and now this.

"Evangeline I don't want you to see him again."
"Phil don't do this…"
"I mean it, last night hurt and I can't be with you if I am wondering at every turn if he will take you from me. I need you to respect my wishes."

My heart aches for him but I could never agree to anything like this. "Phil…I could never be with a man that doesn't trust me." I say pushing away from him.

"I trust you"
"No…you don't. I love you Phil, but you will never tell me who and when I can see people that I care about."
"So you have feelings for him!"
"You're the damn shrink, figure it out!"
"Are you in love with him?" he says and I see him brace for my answer.
"No, but I do love him. I'm in love with you only you."

He looks at me for a long moment and I hope that he hears what I'm saying. I hope he understands that we only have a chance if he trusts me. He walks back over to me and touches my face and I relax at his touch. "Okay Van, I will trust you to handle John. I am trusting you with my heart you know that"

I smile at him and kiss him lightly on the lips "I'm trusting you with mine too baby."

He holds me close and smiles "You are remarkable do you know that?"

"I do now" I say putting my arms around his neck. He leans in and kisses me in the tender way he always does and I welcome the comfort that being in his arms always brings. I would never purposefully hurt him. What happened with John was a mistake. It was no one fault but my own and I will make sure I am not that careless with his feelings again.

Phil lets go of me. "You need to get ready for work. I was on my way into the office."

I watch him walk around gathering his things. I know he's still hurt and I will have to make it up to him. "Hey how about I cook a special dinner for you and wear that little piece of lingerie you bought for me when we went to Jamaica"

He looks up blushing. "The red one?"
I wink at him "The red one"
His smile widens "You sure know how to make things up to a fellow."

"I know how to make things up to my fellow" I say confidently. He nods and grabs his briefcase heading for the door. "See you tonight."

"Have a good day" I say watching him walk out of it. Sighing I unbutton my suit jacket and slide it down my shoulders. Walking toward my room when the phone rings. Stopping I look toward the kitchen at my ringing phone and frown. Throwing my jacket onto the sofa I walk over and answer it.

"Hello.."
"Van its John."
"John hey…"
"Did I catch you at a bad time?"
"Well actually I was getting ready for work.."
"Is everything okay with you and Phil?"
"Of course why would you ask that!" I snap defensively
"Sorry, just wanted to check up on you."
"I'm sorry….everything is fine. Was there something you needed?"
"As a matter of fact there is. I'm going to be continuing my therapy here in Llanview. Your boyfriend won't be my doctor for obvious reasons and my sessions will be at St. Anne's. It's the last leg of my therapy and I think it's the most important part."

Sighing into the phone I look at my watch and see how far behind I am. "John, I'm sorry but what does this have to do with me?"

"The last part of my sessions include you."
Did I hear him right? Breathing hard I find my voice "Me? Why me?"
He laughs lightly in the phone. "We didn't get a chance to finish talking last night. I need a partner, someone to sit in with my sessions. That person is referred to as a safety net."

I lean against the counter stunned. "A safety net?"

"Yes, I've crossed many hills and deep valleys along the path of self discovery, but I have a final journey to mend what's wrong with me. I need a friend to do it. You told me friendship is all I would ever have with you. I'm holding you too it. Face it Van I don't have many people I can ask."

I still find myself unable to respond. "John…"
"Discuss it with Phil….he's seen my case he knows the role you will play. It's not my intent to disrupt your life sweetie. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important."
"Okay…I will talk to Phil"
"Thank you….I'll wait to hear back from you."
"Bye"
"Bye"

Hanging up the phone I look across my loft to the picture that I took with Phil on our ski trip. Therapy? Me and John together in therapy? How on earth can I get Phil to co-sign on that?

Rising from the counter I walk toward my bedroom to change. I didn't know how in that moment I would address this with Phil but I did know that I would help John. He was right we are friends.

(John's POV)

Getting ready to leave my hotel room to find out who my new therapist will be at St. Anne's I open my door to find Dr. Jamison standing there. He glares at me and I smile inwardly at his anger.

"Dr. Jamison…"
"We need to talk.." he says barging in.
I close my door and look at him confused. "Okay"
"I know what you're doing and I won't tolerate it!"
I fold my arms and leans against the door. "Really, exactly what am I doing?"
"You're trying to drive me and Evangeline apart. I won't work John, we're in love!"
"Good for you….but if you are so in love why are you here"

Jamison sneered. "Because I don't appreciate a man trying to get my girlfriend drunk in order to spend the night with her!"

"Is that what Evangeline told you?"
Jamison sucks his teeth. "She didn't have to I see through you!"

I laugh. "Listen Phil, last night was accident. She had too many drinks and I let her sleep it off."

"You could have called her a cab or drove her home. Why didn't you? I'll tell you why because you were looking for an opportunity to mess with her head. You're trying to insert yourself into a heart again and I think that is pretty damn selfish of you!"

"Well I don't give a damn what you think! I am trying to be mindful of your feelings for her but I can tell you honestly I don't care! Evangeline is a strong and intelligent woman. Neither you nor I can control her"

Jamison glares at me. He hates me for breaking her heart. He also hates me for having the history with her that keeps her connected to me somehow. "Just stay away from her!"

"Sorry I can't do tha."
"Can't or won't"
"Both"
"Then you will have to go through me. Watch your back John. I won't let you waltz into our lives and destroy something that is good and honest with your poison."

I open the door for him to step out. "This discussion is over. Evangeline is the only one that can ask me to stay away Phil and we both know she won't do that"

Jamison shakes his head and rolls his eyes before storming out.