Starting Over: Therapy Closure

by tarskeewee08

(Evangeline's POV)

"Evangeline, I'm glad you could come today" Sister Clancy says smiling approvingly at me.

"Thank you sister. Today is an important day for John and I wouldn't miss it for the world" I say then reaching for his hand.

He looks at me proud and confident and squeezes my hand. The Sister stares at us sitting before her united in our love and determined to survive it all.

"Well I know you haven't been with us Evangeline but John has spoken quite a bit about you these pass months. He was actually insistent that you come today to hear my report on his progress."

I smile. "It doesn't matter if he's released from your therapy Sister or given instruction to attend for another 3 months, we are so much more devoted to each other than the last time I was here."

"Really?" the Sister says looking at me curious "What's the source of the devotion?"

I let go of his hand and clasped both of mine in my lap. "Its raw for us still Sister…some days I find myself slipping into the habit of control and discipline with him and other days he struggles to reveal what troubles him and communicate his needs to me."

I look over at him and wink "But each day we remain devoted to overcoming it all together. Each day that devotion makes our love so powerfully fulfilling that I have to remind myself that it's ours. That we've made it."

Sister Clancy remains quiet looking at me. She's a nun what does she know about the passion a woman feels. Especially the passion that this man awakens in me when he whispers in that deep voice while I'm in his arms of his love for me.

She turns to John with her stoic face "John are you devoted to her?"

John looks at me and smiles "I'm devoted to Evangeline. But I'm also devoted to myself. The more I focus on my needs and reconcile my own feeling of self worthlessness the more devoted I become to what he have. She's with me demons and all and she loves me still. She's trying to be my partner and I see her struggle with her on independent values and expectations, but I also see extreme patience and love that keeps her with me."

"So was therapy all about winning her back John?" Sister Clancy asks and we both look at her.

John sits silent for a moment and I watch the exchange between them. Sister Clancy has always been clear that John's path to redemption was a solo one. She never approved of me tagging along and probably only agreed to the safety net sessions to force him to face his issues. He rubs his jaw still searching for a response. I look at the sister who looks at me and I don't see judgment in her eyes. I see contempt. But why?

"Yes, I started therapy to get her back. I checked my self out of that institution the minute I went off my meds to come for her. I pulled her into these sessions to expose myself to her for the sole purpose of having her again. But after all of that I still wanted to be whole. If she had decided that night that she wouldn't allow me back into her heart I would have let her go and still completed my therapy. Because through loving her I've found a way to love myself. That was her gift to me. That's the success story here Sister. My heart is not some case study for you to analyze. Its flesh and blood and beats with love for this woman. I am happy to have her back. I'm happy to have me back."

The sister smiles slightly "Well I think that you have accomplished a lot. I don't necessarily agree that you two are a healthy match. I think she remains to be your crutch and you are not emotionally grounded to handle things if they fail with her again."

That's it. I am sick to death of this nun and her self righteousness. "With all do respect sister but who are you to make that call? Do you know anything on the matters of the heart when it comes to a man and a woman?"

The nun narrows her eyes on me and I know I have gone too far, but I won't have her dismissing my relationship this way. We are stronger together; there is nothing sick, weak or unhealthy about our love.

"Evangeline my love affair is with the lord. I love him as deeply and passionately as you love John. But my love is grounded in a mutual respect and profound sense of understanding what the commitment of my vows entail. I am not trying to sit in judgment of you two. John is my priority and although I will admit he has healed himself and is doing well, I am disturbed by his method. If you two don't make it you may pick up with your life and move on…but for John you are his life. I'm not sure what a loss like that would mean to him."

I look at John who is red with anger. He doesn't like the nun dismantling what we've built. I reach across and take his hand. "If you knew me sister you would diagnose me with the same affliction. If this man leaves me I won't survive it. Some may see that as unhealthy but I don't." I say confidently staring her now in the eye.

"In a lifetime you may if lucky meet your soul mate, the other half of you that walks this earth breathing and surviving oblivious to your connection. If you meet him/her it changes you forever and nothing, or anyone can cure you of it. I found him and he found me. Call us what you will flawed and complicated as we are, we are apart of each other and neither of us will loose sight of that again."

The sister sighs and says nothing. John looks at me and smiles "Sister Clancy I think me and Evangeline are done."

Sister Clancy nods "John, I would like to continue your sessions at least once a month to check on your progress. As for now I'm releasing you from my care. I think it's clear that you have found your way."

"Thank you sister but I won't be returning. I think we've accomplished all need to accomplish here. The rest is up to me and I can do it" he says standing and reaching his hand out to me.

I smile at him and rise. Sister Clancy watches us intensely. "Thank you Sister Clancy, unknowingly you have made us stronger than ever and I will be forever grateful for that."

Sister Clancy nods at me and smiles. I take John's hand and walk out with him into the hall. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me close as we head to the elevator. "Are we okay?" he asked still concerned over the nun's words

"We're perfect" I say rubbing his back heading to the elevator.

Life is good and we will take it all one day at a time. Stepping into the elevator with him I keep my arm around his waist and lean into his chest waiting for us to exit. I'm so glad that he came back to town. I'm grateful he came back to me. But most of all I'm grateful to Sister Clancy and these therapy sessions. We have closure even though she doesn't recognize it. She helped us accept our painful past and continue on the path of self discovery. Nothing can tear us apart again.