The secret diary of Megatron, season 1

DAY 1: We have landed on a very mysterious planet that is not earth, no matter still plenty of Energon. Too much Energon acutely, so now I have ended up looking like Barney.

Dinobot laughed at my new form so I banished him from the Predacons.

That'll teach him.

DAY 2: That traitor Dinobot! He joined the Maximals! Well, I'll just have to destroy him as well.

We found a mountain of Energon today, but it was destroyed.

Damn, oh well more where that came from.

DAY 3: Scorpinok came back with a new cannon to add to our base. Perfect.

Tarantulas has vanished. That's not a good sign.

He came back later, looking like the Pit, when asked all he did was mutter about Cats and Rats with eager hands and left.

Weirdo.

DAY 4: I'm beginning to worry about Primal's plans. His recent one seemed to involve beaming Cheetor into our base, trying to annoy us to death?

Terrorsaur got beamed to the Maximal base and told Dinobot how it happened. Oh look the traitor sent us a bomb.

Terrorsaur is an idiot.

DAY 5: It seems we're not alone on this planet.

An alien probe arrived today and abducted Primal. The Maximals named Rattrap as leader, I was sure we would win, I mean Rattrap as leader. Easy victory.

Rattrap came out of the Axalon, wearing leather and holding a whip. I had never seen the Pradacons run so fast.

Crap.

DAY 5(later): Primal's back.

Double Crap.

DAY 6: Today had promised to be a good day, until Terrorsaur found some super energon and used it to beat me senseless.

Scorpinok and Waspinator fixed me and the Maximals blew up the mountain of Energon.

Turkey boy is going down.

DAY 7: A stasis pod had landed today. I sent Terrorsaur and Waspinator to kill Primal and, what a surprise, they failed.

At lest Primal won't be flying soon.

While the Maximal were busy retrieving the pod, Tarantulas, Scorpinok and myself attacked the Maximal base.

Not only did that fail, but also we lost the Protoform.

I should have just shot those tigers, yesss.

DAY 8: We hit the Jackpot!

Now it will only be a matter of time before the Maximal join in order to get a chance with Blackarachina.

Speaking of which, Rattrap has already betrayed the Maximals.

Why was he staring at me and not at Blackarachina?

By the end of the day we paid the Maximals to take Rattrap back.

DAY 9: Tarantulas had built a new weapon today. It worked quite well, till it blew up.

A probe came to day. We fought the Maximal, and blew up their satellite transceiver.

So much for the Maximal's plans to get Satellite TV.

Day 10: I've learnt a very important lesson today. Never trust Scorpinok with anything scientific.

Not only did he turn Primal into a raging Berserker that beat the slag out of everyone, but also the device he used blew up the entire base and me as well.

The scorpion will die.

DAY 11: I let Blackarachina, Terrorsaur and Waspinator come up with a plan to destroy the Maximals.

They were going to use a bomb of some kind I don't know. I wasn't paying attention; I was staring at a piece of spinach in my dino head's teeth.

When did I last eat spinach?

DAY 12: We just found out the Maximals have been watching us.

Apparently they decided to make a TV, show about us since we stop their Satellite T.V

I made a plan to attack them and steal the film of Blackarachina to entrain my troops. Dinobot interfered.

So, thank to Dinobot the Axalon will never fly again. Moron.

DAY 13: I had Tarantulas capture Rhinox. Five minutes later I turned him into a Pred.

He seemed to have been fitting in quite well, but then he tried to take my command.

So Rhinox is back with the Maximals and back to normal… well as normal as it will ever get.

DAY 14: Optimus cashed in on his favour. I owed him after he said I can get the next pod after the next.

So I made a clone of Dinobot and for what? To get eaten by Dinobot.

Still, got a free Stasis pod.

DAY 15: A stasis pod landed today and the Maximals got it.

No matter, after seeing the new femme, I know they will be begging to join the Preds to get close to Blackarachina.

Yessss.

DAY 16: Terrorsaur and Waspinator have just reported back from their attempt to kill Tigatron.

Hmmm. They found a flying Island.

I told Scorpinok and Blackarachina to investigate.

The island got destroyed and everyone's still alive.

Damn!

DAY 17: Maybe Primal did get the better part of the Clone for a Stasis pod deal.

Not only did the ant failed to kill Tigatron, but he's also creeping everyone out.

Why is Inferno staring at me?

DAY 18: Stole the Maximal base's shield system.

The Maximals have to stay in beast mode, leaving them defenceless.

Of course we had to retreat when Primal started throwing poop at us.

Eww… I can still smell it.

DAY 19: Scorpinok reported in today, oh how nice he got rid of four of the Maximals in an Energon explosion.

Computer reported that the all Maximals survived. Damn scorpion

I sent Waspinator and Terrorsuar to finish them off, but that failed of course.

Damn Flyers, can't they do anything right!

DAY 20: We've won and taken control of the Maximal's base, if only for a short while.

Waspinator seemed to have possessed by Starscream's ghost

Yeah right, I think it was Waspy just went insane.

I seem to be the only sane guy left.

I am sane, right?

DAY 21: Today has to be the worst day in my life.

First I find Inferno building a shrine to my underwear. Witch is weird enough.

Then I get defeated by Rhinox farting on me!

Six baths and I still feel so unclean.

DAY 22: By the Pit! Won't Inferno ever stop staring at me?

He's been following me around the base, I'm sure!

I wonder if Primal would be interested in a trade?

Must get rid of the ant!

DAY 23: Inferno has finally shown a use for himself.

He brought me a gold disc made by the aliens and offered it to me as a wedding ring.

After beating Inferno half to death, I found that the disc is useful.

I arranged a truce with the Maximals.

Was it just me or was Primal acting weird today?

DAY 24: The spiders are up to something, I'm not sure but it seems to involve Tarantulas giving Blackarachina large sums of money and weird noises coming from their rooms.

I sent Inferno to follow them to the Axalon and find out what they are up to.

Oh, the aliens have arrived. I think I'll welcome them with a fruitcake.

DAY 25: The aliens have decided to blow up the planet.

Well to use an over use expressions.

Crap!

…

Hmm, Primal is flying into space in a stasis pod. Do I still have that turn a stasis pod into a bomb program?

Up next Rhinox's diary