Chapter Four – The Udders are coming.
"Hey Boone, what are you doing?" Claire called, walking up to where the young Carlisle stood, wearing an army hat with paint across his face.
"They've taken Charlie!" Boone screamed at her, waving a stick in the air.
"Who has!"
"The Udders!" He shrieked, looking all around him and crying like a girl.
"Oh come on Boone, first the chicks, now The Udders, you're mad!" Claire laughed turning around.
"If John were still alive, he'd believe me!"
Claire twisted her head and raised an eyebrow "He is still alive Boone, he's right over there playing cards."
"Oh yeah…"
"Boone" Claire began, gesturing for him to sit down and shut up. "The Udders are not coming, they do not even exist."
"The Udders are coming and they exist!" A French voice called behind them, running around like a madwoman, which she was.
Locke in the distance stood up and went to high-five her. "Don't leave me hanging Frenchy!"
"The Udders are coming" French chick repeated.
"What do we do crazy lady?" Boone asked, running over his little fence towards her.
"You can do one of three things. Run, hide, or milk."
"Someone say milk?" Jack asked moodily, as he walked up to the French chick, swatting Locke away who still was trying to high-five him.
"Will somebody please slap me back!" Locke shouted, jumping in the air.
"The Udders don't exist!" Claire said, moving to Turniphead and hugging him.
"That baby…he's so beautiful." French Chick said, moving to Claire and smiling at the baby.
"Stay away from us!" Claire screamed, moving backwards with Turniphead.
"Let me hold him"
"Ah ah ah" Came Lockes voice again. "I own Turniphead. I built the cot, therefore whatever is in it, is mine. Step away from the baby, both of you."
"But I'm his mother!"
"I repeat" Locke said "Step away from the baby."
"Oh my God the Udders are coming!" A lone voice could be heard along the beach.
"We know that." Jack muttered moodily.
"Time to get milking!" Boone called, doing the power-ranger stance. "Milk power activate!"