Disclaimer:

Draco: It'd be nice if you didn't write a story about me getting humiliated.

Me: Why?

Draco: Umm… because I don't want you too.

Me: (blinks) No.

Draco: Why not?

Hermione: Oh don't whine. You know I'm going to get humiliated later on.

Draco: Hey…you're right! And… at least I look hot while getting humiliated.

Me: That's great. Now getting me out of these handcuffs would be nice.

Draco and Hermione: Yeah, right. No, be serious.

Well, I can't own the characters, because the characters apparently own me.

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Author's Note: Well, I think you're gonna love this chapter, if I do say so myself. I won't thank individually this chapter, but I want to thank the reviewers that read All the Little Things that read this story as weel. I also want to thank my new reviewers. Some of you have also asked about where I get my ideas. Some come from really exaggerated versions of my life, but I mostly make it all up. I guess that shows you how incredibly immature my brain is. Anyways, hop you enjoy!

"No female will ever want me again," Draco said in frustration as he walked into our dorm.

It's been a week, and Draco still hasn't gotten over the whole incident on Halloween. He thinks his animal magnetism went down about ten points after people found out about his love for perfume.

"What is wrong with people, Zabini? They should all worship me," he continued.

"Well, you did give Granger's ass a nickname," I pointed out before getting a swift kick in the shin.

"Like she has one," he said smirking a little at all the possible humiliation he could put her through because of her butt…or he could just be thinking of her butt.

I'm still wondering if she has a butt. No, this isn't one of those issues where I sit around and ponder for an hour or two. It's just…she rarely wears clothes that accentuate her figure. God help us if she has a figure.

Anyway, like I said, I personally didn't know if she had one, but I said, "How would we know if she had one if she's always in robes?"

Draco paused and gave me his confused/accusing look. "You're giving her the benefit of the doubt?"

I had to think about that one. "No, I'm just trying to be- gosh, you know what I mean Draco."

Draco smirked. "Uh huh. Care to dirty yourself even more Blaise."

I glared indignantly. "I am not dirty. Plus, I've never snogged a half blood."

Draco. "Whatever. She was damn good aside from the fact that she was half muggle."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, so why did you break up your snog session to come down here. I thought you were going to be out the whole day."

"Oh, the Griffies want to work today," he said tossing a note towards me.

I read it quickly and smirked. "The girl stood you up didn't she?"

"What, no."

"Don't tell me you interrupted making out with a good looking girl just to come all the way down here and give me a note from Granger," I said matter-of-factly.

Draco rolled his eyes lazily. "If you must know, she didn't stand me up. The only thing she did was tell me she had a boyfriend."

I imitated his eye rolling. "I told you about the whole friends with benefits thing."

"I'm not mad. I'm just trying to figure out who I can use for a snog now."

I rolled my eyes yet again. "Are you going then?"

"Where?"

More eye rolling. "To study with psychos 1 through 3."

He rolled his eyes. "We have to. Plus, we want to get this done don't we?"

"Does that mean we have to interrupt-?"

"Gryffindor Quidditch Practice."

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

Watching Harry and Ron out on the pitch didn't really qualify as fun for me, but I finished every assignment that's due for the next three weeks. I had plenty of time for the things I wanted to do. I just wish watching Harry and Ron was one of them.

After Ron caught his first ball of the night, which was well into the practice, some 5th year named Connor yelled, "The grass is growing."

Harry sighed. "You don't use code when they're in earshot Conner."

Connor turned red. "Sorry Harry."

Harry nodded at Connor before descending towards what appeared to be Malfoy and friend. Notice how I only said friend and not the plural form.

"Come to cheat before the game?" asked Harry.

"If we did, you wouldn't know," stated Malfoy. "Anyway, we're here to say we're working on the Potions Project today, okay?"

By this time, I had reached the area where Harry was standing.

Harry lifted an eyebrow. "Couldn't you have waited until practice was over?"

"And when can that be?" asked Malfoy, waiting with another sarcastic comment.

Harry put on his biggest grin. "Well," he started in his kid voice. "According to that clock way over there, practice ends in about ten minutes."

Malfoy's smirk dropped. "Don't tell me what I can and cannot do Potter."

"Oh," Ron said cutting in. "So Zabini is the only one who can tell you what to do? Him and daddy dearest?"

"Shut up Weasel. At least Zabini isn't my lapdog, and at least my dad can afford crap."

At this, the whole Gryffindor Quidditch Team prepared to use their brooms as a possible murder weapon.

I looked at Malfoy, trying my best to glare at him. He had on the weirdest facial expression. It was a mix between amusement, fear, sarcasm, boredom, and sheer disgust. Plus, this was a very awkward situation, and it made me uncomfortable. I couldn't help it. I had to laugh. And strangely enough, I wasn't the only one laughing.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"What are you laughing at Zabini?" I asked in a fit of giggles.

"Your team. The broom thing was…hilarious! And don't get me started on the facial expressions," he said through a mix of a cackle and a giggle. "What are you laughing at?"

"Malfoy's expression!" I yelled while laughing wildly. I knew it was a stupid reason to laugh, but you never get that kind of emotion on Malfoy's face. He looked so…distorted. Plus, the awkwardness of the situation just added to the humor.

Everyone paused to look at the both of us.

We looked at them and started laughing louder.

Harry shook his head. "So, do you want to leave?"

"In fact, no," Malfoy said stubbornly.

Zabini and I started laughing louder and fell to the ground in a fit.

"Malfoy's losing his sense of sarcasm!"

"Potter formed a proper sentence!"

"Stop laughing!" everyone yelled in unison.

Zabini and I started a whole new fit of giggles/cackles.

"Is there something I should know about?" asked a confused Ron.

"Are you guys friends?" asked an incredulous Harry.

"Are you two a couple?" asked a shocked Connor.

Everyone, with the exception of Zabini and I who were still laughing, turned to look at Connor.

Connor turned red again. "Well, they're acting like it."

At this, Zabini and I looked at each other.

"He thinks we're together!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

"I know!" was all Zabini could say before resuming his cackling.

I tried to get up, but I ended up stumbling every time I tried. Zabini was trying as well, but we only got as far as the other side of the pitch before realizing it was useless.

By then, Harry, Ron, and Malfoy were in a pretty heated argument.

"Get that stupid excuse for a freakin' girl away from Blaise!" yelled Malfoy.

"Feeling jealous Malfoy?" spat Harry.

"Or possessive, either one," added Ron.

"And there goes the award for most unnecessary comment," said Malfoy sarcastically.

"All the unnecessary comments are coming from you, you fat ferret!" Harry said raising his voice.

Zabini and I resumed our giggling/cackling.

"What are you laughing at?" yelled Malfoy in our direction.

"Harry called you a ferret!" I replied.

"Potter called you fat!" Zabini replied.

At that, Draco took a swing at Harry.

The boys on the Gryffindor Team stayed to watch the fight while the girls went to the locker room assuming practice was over.

Ron grabbed a broom from an all too eager Conner and jabbed Malfoy in the stomach.

"Did I jiggle your fat Malfoy!"

"No, but I can certainly see yours, Weasel!"

Harry took this opportunity to kick him in the butt.

"Ow, you bastard!" yelled Malfoy before giving Ron an uppercut.

Malfoy then continued to hit Ron repeatedly in the stomach.

Harry tried to get Ron out from under his grasp by throwing him. Malfoy wouldn't budge, so Harry resorted to yelling, "Ew, you have love handles!"

"Malfoy has love handles!" I giggled.

"Potter touched his love handles?" asked Blaise in mid-cackle.

We then looked at each other and started laughing again.

The other three boys on the other side of the field rolled their eyes. Malfoy then proceeded to hold Ron in a headlock, and Ron tried to bite Malfoy in an area dangerously close to his butt while jabbing his foot with the broom. Harry resorted to trying to find Malfoy's ticklish spot. When that didn't work, Malfoy started being pinched on the sides.

"Stop biting my ass, Weasel, I'm not like that!"

"Tell that to Zabini!"

I continued laughing.

"That was not funny," said Zabini, glaring at me.

"That's only because it was referring to you. I, on the other hand, have a right to laugh," I said trying to sound logical while giggling.

"No you don't. Weasel threatened my manliness," Zabini said glaring more dangerously.

"You would laugh if I was the one mentioned," I said sitting up from my position on the grass.

"Yeah, but I'm a Slytherin."

"Doesn't mean you're the only one with bad qualities."

"You have bad qualities?"

"Have you not noticed the hair?"

"Yeah. I've also noticed the bossiness, prissiness, arrogance, know-it-all…ness, bookworm-."

"Okay, geez."

"That's my hair!" yelled Malfoy.

When I looked over, Harry was on Malfoy's back trying to pull his hair out, while Ron was still in a headlock and still biting Malfoy while still jabbing his foot. The three of them were turning in a circle, and it really did look kind of wrong.

When Ron started punching Malfoy in the stomach, Madame Hooch decided to come in while the rest of the team scattered.

"Break it up!" was all she said for the three boys to stop.

"We should have-," started Zabini, catching himself.

I stared at him for a moment and realized the fun was over, so I guess he returned to not liking me. So, in response, I returned to not liking him. Him just sitting next to me annoys the hell out of me.

Instead of staring at him further, I turned my attention back to Madame Hooch.

"I should suspend you from the first game," she threatened.

Fear flashed through the boys' faces.

"Instead," she started. "I will give you detention until the first game."

"That's another week of detention for me!" whined Malfoy.

"Well it's only a week this time eh, Harry?" Ron said patting him on the back before Madame Hooch glared at him. "Sorry Madame."

"Tonight, you will have detention with Hagrid."

My eyes widened at the thought of the detention. I wasn't horrified because it was with Hagrid, I was horrified because we were supposed to work on our projects. The worst part is that it would only be Zabini and me. Susan has to patrol tonight.

"You've got to be kidding me," said Zabini in disbelief.

I looked at him and gave him a slight smile/confused/horrified look before going back to join Harry and Ron. They both got a swift kick in the shin before I said, "You two are so stupid. You do realize that I will be left alone with Zabini? Did you think of that?"

"I'm sorry, Hermione," said Harry avoiding another kick.

"Well, tell that to me when we fail," I said leading the way to the Hospital Wing.

……………………………………………………………………………………..

It's been thirty minutes since we sat down and decided to research the whole time. And let me tell you, they've been the longest thirty minutes of my life. It would've been perfectly normal if we were just researching, because I've had to do this kind of work with Malfoy before, but something was bothering me. People who knew me really well knew this was a pet peeve of mine. One of Zabini's spikes weren't as spiky as the rest of his hair, and with me being a perfectionist, I just couldn't stop looking at it. It was the only limp one on his head, and I felt like fixing it, but touching him would be like asking for an infectious disease.

However, his hair didn't make the situation awkward. He already told me to stop staring between the polite, yes polite, asking for a book and a rude sigh, but I couldn't stop. His hair needed to be fixed. You'd think that a guy who carried hair gel and a muffin in what I now know is his 'man purse' would be able to keep his hair straight.

So after thirty long minutes of research, he asked, "Am I seriously that sexy to you? Do you always need to stare at me like a deranged puppy?"

"Yes Zabini. You are about as sexy as Professor Snape would be in a pink bathrobe modeling for Witch Weekly," I replied sarcastically.

"Well I don't mind the Witch Weekly part, and I do look good in pink…"

"You are so conceited."

"Like you aren't."

"I don't ask people if they think I'm sexy!"

"It's just a question. I wanted to know."

"So I'm allowed to have an opinion now?"

"Um, no? It's not like it's stopped you before though."

"Whatever," I said returning to my book. Maybe ignoring him would piss him off.

But it didn't piss him off. After that brief argument, we spent another ten minutes in a long awkward silence. The only difference was that he was staring at me this time.

"Why were you staring at me?" he asked breaking the silence but not taking away the awkwardness.

"Your hair…"

"Is perfect?"

"Is annoying."

"How?" he asked reaching for his hair automatically.

"That one strand on my right isn't as pointy as the rest."

He paused and gave me a knowing smirk. "No seriously, what's wrong with it?"

I rolled my eyes and took out my mirror. "Take a look."

When he saw his hair, his eyes widened and reached into his 'man purse' for his gel.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"You were being conceited, so I decided to let the hair thing go."

"You can't let matters of this hair go. It goes against the code of…of…of hair!"

At this I burst out laughing.

"What? Is it so bad that you feel the need to blackmail me for having a bad hair day?" he asked frantically.

I calmed myself down so he wouldn't start raising his voice anymore than he did. "Code of hair? That's right next to the code of toe nail clipping and the code of mustache twirling."

"There's…a code of hair," he said a little hesitantly.

"Seriously?" I asked with a knowing look.

He rolled his eyes. "No, okay. I was just worrying about my hair."

"Okay," I said, smiling before returning to my book.

He rolled his eyes and sighed loudly. "Why do you always give people that look?"

I rolled my eyes. "I have a look now?"

"Well, you've always had one. You just gave me the I-know-I'm-smarter-than-you look."

"I don't have a look like that. Even if I did, why would I give it to you?"

"Are you saying I'm smart?"

"No Zabini, I'm saying you're sexy. Of course I'm saying your smart! You've told me I'm smart, even though it wasn't in a nice way, but still."

"Yeah, but…can you just tell me why you have a look?"

"You're wanting to know about me?" I said switching the subject, because the one we were talking about would only turn the conversation to talking about him again. He's so self-centered.

"No."

"Please, Zabini, you're practically asking if I have a favorite color."

"I wouldn't ask you that in a million years. You just annoy me. You couldn't help staring at my piece of hair, because it annoys you. How come I'm not allowed to tell you what annoys me?"

"Cause my opinion doesn't matter to you, so your opinion doesn't matter to me."

"Wow, that was a damn good point."

"Mr. Zabini," said the half-whisper voice Madame Pince liked to use in the library. "Did I just hear you say a curse word on school property?"

I looked at Zabini and noticed that, unlike Malfoy, he couldn't disguise his emotion very well at all. Instead, he looked like a deer in headlights. As much as it amused me, I refuse to work on this project by myself. Besides, he already found a nice mix of complicated ingredients. There was no way I was working alone, and that is that. I was stuck here doing a project, and he was going to be the one stuck with me. If he got detention, Susan would be the only one left, but she hasn't made an effort to show up much except when she knew Ron would be there.

So instead of letting him deal with the situation I put on my nice girl smile and said, "He said darn good, Madame."

Madame Pince's eyes softened and she looked at me. "Are you sure Ms. Granger? He hasn't threatened you has he?"

"No Madame, not at all. He's been trying really hard to get along with me, and I really don't want to work on this alone, so he's agreed to help."

"So you two are on good terms?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Not really."

She nodded. "Then I'll stay here a couple of extra minutes."

"Thank you Madame," I said giving her one last smile before she returned to her desk.

After her shadow turned a corner in the fiction section, I returned to my book and tried to figure out if the mixture would turn out green or mustard yellow. Zabini, on the other hand, decided to keep staring. This time, I could only stand it for five minutes.

"What?" I asked irritated.

"You are a weird girl," he said in confusion.

I smiled sarcastically. "Well at least you noticed I'm a girl."

He shook his head. "You just saved me from detention."

"Yeah, for the simple fact that I'm a Gryffindor, and there is no way in hell I'm working on this potion by myself."

He paused to look at me with a confused face again. "You are so…stupid."

I looked up and glared. "Excuse me."

"Well, now I'm stuck with you, and it's not Malfoy's fault, it's yours," he said, pointing at me rather rudely.

"Hey, I saved you for my selfish reason."

"But still, I could've been in detention with Draco instead of with you."

"I am not doing the work by myself."

"Whatever," he said, still in mild shock. "At least I know you were being selfish."

I rolled my eyes and returned to my book, which led to more staring from Zabini. He wore out my attention span, so I only had to endure a minute of his staring before I asked, "What!"

He paused. "So, seriously, what's your favorite color?"

…………………………………………………………………………

"How was it?" asked Draco immediately after I walked back into our dorm.

"Almost horrible," I replied.

"Why was it almost horrible," he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well…Granger rescued me."

His eyes widened. "You mean, like, from Fluffy?"

"No, from detention," I replied with a curious glance. "I thought you didn't like bunnies."

"Not your Fluf- just get to why she saved you, Zabini."

"Well, she didn't want to do all the work by herself," I said.

"At least it was for a selfish reason," Draco said thoughtfully.

"I know, or else I would've thought it was weird. In fact, it's weird even with the selfish reason."

"I know."

"And, don't kill me Draco, I have only minimal feelings of malice towards her."

Draco sat up from his position on the bed. "She killed your father, Blaise."

"I know, and I still hate her. Don't worry, she still wants to make me gag, and I love annoying her. You just have to stare at her for a while, and she'll get pissed off really easily. Plus, she has something against foot tapping, so you have to do that with me the next time we have a meeting. Although, it's not like I liked my dad that much anyways."

"That's true," he said before looking at me with a suspicion. "Did you two agree on a truce or something?"

I looked at him disgusted. She did save my ass once, but that doesn't mean I owe her anything. Having a truce with her would suck. Gosh, it's not like she gave me some sort of life changing experience. In fact, if she did something to change my opinion about her, then my opinion would change. Every time I think about her, I think about how comparable she is to a poodle, only her hair wasn't groomed that way on purpose.

"Well, that look gives me the answer," Draco said nodding. All the sudden, his eyes lit up. "You want to know what I found out?"

"Go ahead," I said, waving my hand nonchalantly for him to continue.

Draco jumped off his bed and looked at me gleefully. "Potter has certain bad repercussions after eating beans!"

At hearing this, my eyes widened and I unconsciously smirked. "New plan?"

"New plan," he agreed. He turned around and looked at himself in the full-length mirror. "Do you think Potter was right about what he said about me? If he was, then I now understand why girls prefer him more than me."

"You mean the ferret thing?" I asked trying not to laugh. "No Draco, you definitely don't resemble a ferret."

He turned to glare at me before turning back to the mirror. "No, not that."

I rolled my eyes. I've been doing that a lot lately. "Then what?"

He turned to me with the most serious look he's ever given me in the time that I've known him.

I gave him my best annoyed look. "Out with it Draco!"

He took a deep breath. "Do you think I'm fat?"

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Author's note: So, how was that? Once I got the idea for this chapter, I couldn't stop writing it. I know it too me a while, but I've been busy with schoo. We have to prepare for standardized testing, and they never lay off the homework. Well, R/R with a little constuctive criticism if you feel the need. Thanks for reading.