Disclaimer:

Draco: Yes, we finally get to humiliate them this chapter!

Blaise: Whoa, this is the first time I get to speak during an disclaimer.

Me: Well enjoy it. This is probably the fastest I've updated in like forever!

Blaise and Draco: That's not a good thing.

Me: Yes it is! I didn't get tortured in one single way.

Blaise: (Hits me over the head with a stick)

Draco: Well, that wasn't too hard. I just don't know how we're going to throw her off the cliff.

So, due to technical difficulties, I can't say I had the time or mental ability to steal anything involving the Harry Potter World.

…………………………………………………………………………..

Author's note: Hey guys! Look, a quick update! Well, quick meaning two weeks, but since when have I updated this early? I haven't updated this fast since last summer! Anyways, I forgot to mention this in my last author's notes, but I don't know what the pairing of this story will be. So, I have decided that during the course of this story, I will ask who she should end up with. I'm not asking now, so I don't need and opinion at the moment, but I will ask later. I don't know, I guess I might create a love triangle, you never know. So, I hope you enjoy, and here is my thanks list.

Thanks to:

Black Aliss: Well, this is the Blaise/Hermione I promised in my poll in All the Little Things, but when I asked whether people like Draco or Blaise with Hermione better, people replied Draco. However, you never know...

cargarbinx: Thanks for the compliment! I didn't know if people would think thisis funny or not, but your feedback helps. Yeah, some tragic/depressing stories are well written, but there sure are a lot of them in the fanfiction world.

slyswn18: Despite how she appears right now, Susan isn't all that innocent. Although, she might be just there in the story for a while before I include her in the plot.

logi: I brought tears to your eyes from laughing? Aw, I love that your a new reviewer for my story.

blandsaft: Yeah, I don't like my transitions either, I just have a really bad habit of not editing.

halfbloodprince15: The ideas come as I write. I have no clue what the chapter is going to be about until I'm three pages in on word. Thanks for enjoying my story. No, none of them are gay by the way. I tend to lean away from slash, although if you do write slash, I'm not criticizing you. Some slash stories are good despite the pairing.

Karana Belle: Glad I could give you a laugh. Your just so sweet!

citcatt299: Does it really have that great of a flow. I'm never really sure with my writing.

So those are review responses from chapters two and three. Thank you to everyone I didn't mention. I love you all, especially some of my newer reviewers. Thank ya much!

………………………………………………………………………….

"Why?" Zabini asked during a period that I liked to call planning time.

It was the day before the second Quidditch game, November seventh to be exact, and Blaise was questioning me. How rude, insensitive, and so unlike him. Honestly, you'd think that he would be happy with all that I do for him.

Instead of getting mad, I settled with asking, "What do you mean why?"

"Well, frankly, I don't want to join Mum in Azkaban. We want to sabotage their lives, not kill them," he said logically.

"Actually, killing them sounds like the right thing to do. It's either them or me. Granger and I can't live with her butt having a nickname!" I said getting frustrated.

"Draco, it sounds like you can't live with giving Granger's butt a nickname."

I sighed rudely.

He rolled his eyes. "Okay, look. I like the Forbidden forest idea, I like the bean idea, and I like the knocking them unconscious for a couple of hours idea. The only thing I don't like is the idea of putting them out there to die!"

I stopped my pacing and looked at him straight in the eye. Since when did he not want to kill the Golden trio? Usually, we would've been preparing the 'joke' by now. Let's see…It had to be sometime this year. When did his mind go wrong? Maybe he doesn't want to associate with me after the Granger butt incident. Oh, wait.

"It's Granger!" I said jumping up and pointing at him rather rudely.

"I'm not Granger," he said with a confused face.

"No, I don't think your Granger using a Polyjuice potion you half wit. You don't want to pull this off because of Granger! She's given you a love potion hasn't she? That little witch! What was the last thing you drank? I'm going to use it as evidence. Then, I'm going to kick her a-!"

"Shut up Draco! It's not because of Granger. Unless you want a life sentence, I suggest that we don't kill them, however tempting and easy it is to do," he reasoned.

I stomped my foot on the ground and thought about it. He was right. I was just over reacting. He was just trying to save my life. Although, Granger and him have gotten friendlier over the past week. They've had plenty of time alone for the past week since Weasel, Potty, and I all have detention. As far as I know, Bones only showed up twice that week. Now, they're average insults a day have dwindled down to four. How curious. I swear, if he impregnated Granger, then it will be the end of him.

I put a smirk back on my face after a lot of thought. "You're right. So we're doing everything except attracting an angry mob of centaurs."

"Right you are, Draco," he said with his smirk on his face. "Potter is going to be the one who's fat."

"Are you saying I'm fat?" I asked sharply.

You know, I used to think I was the hottest thing that ever hit this school, and now Potter has me thinking I'm a freaking Pansy. You don't call me a fat ferret and get away with it. Plus, I bet people would agree that I am way better looking than him.

Blaise rolled his eyes again. He has a habit of doing that. "No, Draco, I wasn't saying you were fat? Gosh, you are such a girl. I was merely adding in the phrase of Potter will get his, just like the book, Evil For Dummies: The Magical Edition said."

I nodded slowly then brightened up.

"It's almost lunchtime! Remember Blaise. You have to get this in his food," I said handing him a bag.

"As long as you do your job, I'll do mine," Blaise said before leaving the room.

I followed him right after putting my wand in my pocket.

………………………………………………………………………………

As I walked into the Great Hall, I muttered a simple spell that made a note travel into Pansy Parkinson's lap. She's going to love this.

When I sat down, I saw Pansy rise and slap her boyfriend, Theodore Nott, across the face.

"Whose Fra- franth-Frag-?"

"Francesca?" Nott asked.

"So you admit it. You're cheating on me! Why you lousy son of a b-."

"I'm not cheating on you."

"Yes you are. Of all the houses, you had to choose a Hufflepuff? Well, I've got news for you!" she said, poking him in the nose. "Hufflepuffs are flat! Every single on of them has no rack! So if you-."

Meanwhile, at the teacher's table, Madame Hooch was sighing. "No more fights. You go break that up Minerva."

"Unless a sharp object occurs, no one will interrupt me from my lunch. The last time I tried to break up a fight involving Parkinson, she scratched me on my thigh. Well, after that, I decided no more fights," McGonagall said firmly.

Madame Hooch sighed again and looked at what was happening over at the Gryffindor side of the room. 'Is that Zabini?' she thought. 'Oh, Granger is talking to him. It must be about the Potion's project. Good, I don't have to get up.'

…………………………………………………………….

"How did you manage?" asked Draco as I sat down at the table.

"I had a nice, civil chat," I replied.

Draco looked me in the eye. "No, seriously."

I sighed. "I insulted her, and while she was getting mad, I put the stuff in their drinks."

"So you spiked it then."

"I just told you I did."

"Just making sure," Draco said, smiling maliciously. "Now, all we have to do is the incantation and we're- um, Blaise."

"What?" I asked rudely, trying to get at least a spoonful of food before we embarrass the hell out of the Golden Trio.

"Um, where are they?"

"They who?" I asked with my mouthful of carrots. Gosh, he's so paranoid these days.

"Potter, Weasel, and Granger! Who else would I be talking about?" he asked agitated, getting up from the table.

I took a roll before following suit. This was bound to be a plan that would backfire somehow. I just wish I could tell Draco that without him castrating me.

…………………………………………………………..

"What the hell are they doing in the Astronomy Tower on a Saturday?" I whispered to Draco while trying to keep my breathing under control.

It had taken us a while, but we managed to find them. Weasel talks louder than I do when surrounded by an adoring audience. So, anyways, we followed them up here, and we have no idea what they're doing. Maybe we're lucky enough to hear one of their plans. This is a good place to devise one. I mean, who the hell goes to the Astronomy tower on Saturday?

"Why are we working on the Potion here?" asked Potter.

Damn, they weren't discussing a plan.

"Well, I thought it'd be better if we were in an area of lower pressure to work. The potion won't respond to the air as much as it would in the dungeons," explained Granger like it was the simplest thing in the world.

"Why?" asked Weasel, scratching his head.

"The air isn't pushing down on us as much as it would in the dungeons since we're higher up. It has something to do with all the layers in the atmosphere. Despite what Snape says, I think air pressure does have an effect on the potion, and I have proven it," replied Granger with an air of pride.

Gosh, I hate her pride.

"Sure, whatever you say Hermione," said Weasel, retiring himself to a seat close to the potion.

"Why aren't the rest of them here?" asked Potter.

"Well, I figured Malfoy isn't too happy with us, and there is no way you two are getting another detention. A plant bit Susan in Herbology. Zabini might as well stay with Malfoy. He wouldn't enjoy himself or cooperate with us. So, I figure we can test the effects that wolfbane and rosemary create. I haven't tried that combination before," Granger explained.

"We need to hit them now!" Draco whispered loudly in my ear.

"Fine. Pretend like you came here to work," I said before opening the door.

As it turns out, we didn't have to pretend to work on the project. Granger, Potter, and Weasel were all at perfect angles to be shot at. I took Granger first, knowing her senses would kick in if I didn't hit her right at the moment, and Draco took Potter and Weasel. We were going to levitate them out, but then a thought crossed both our minds.

"We'll get caught," we said in unison.

"Well how are we going to get them out?" I asked before muttering the spell to lift Weasel.

"I don't know. You come up with something!" Draco said frustrated.

I took my wand and sharply pointed it towards the balcony in annoyance. "You can't expect me to come up with everything Draco! You'd be jumping off that balcony for fun afternoon entertainment if it weren't for me."

Thud.

"What was that?" I asked, turning my head sharply towards the balcony.

"That would be Weasel going over the balcony," replied Draco with horror and sarcasm.

I rushed to the edge of the balcony and looked over. The invisible link from my wand to him must've broken when I practically flung Weasel out. He's lucky he went so far out, or else he would've hit a gargoyle or something.

"Do something Blaise!" shrieked Draco.

Yes, he does shriek.

"I can't think of anything!" I shrieked back.

Yes, I do shriek.

"You dumbass!"

"Don't call me that you idiot!" I screamed, watching Weasley fall farther and farther down.

It took a few seconds, but Draco finally shouted, "I know! Spongify!"

Right when Weasley was about to hit the ground, he bounced off of a sort of spongy material.

"Yes, we did it!" I exclaimed, taking in all the breath that I missed when I was contemplating my life decisions.

There was a silent moment when the only sound you could here was our heavy breathing.

"Great, now lets throw Potter and Granger off," said Draco excitedly, breaking the silence.

"Are you mad!" I yelled, throwing my arms up in the air.

"No, I'm smart," replied Draco before getting a hold of Potter. "Just jump off with Granger. My Spongify will hold for at least ten more minutes."

"Once again, are you mad?"

Draco smirked and jumped off far enough so he wouldn't hit a gargoyle. I sighed and saw Draco panic a little before falling. To my surprise, his Spongify bed caught him. He landed with a little bounce with Potter close behind.

I sighed and looked at Granger. At least she'll be asleep when I kill her. If she were awake, she'd be annoying to the point where I would forget to kill her. But, right now, I didn't know if it was good to risk her life without her being awake. If she were awake and didn't want me to jump off with her, I would've done it anyways. However, my conscience (yes, I have one) would've been a tad clearer.

Right when I turned my head to look back down at the ground, an angry red spark almost attacked me. I was pretty sure it was Draco telling me that he was impatient. I don't see him having to jump off with Granger.

I sighed again and levitated Granger. Despite my current feelings of complete loathing for her, I needed to be careful. She can go out first, and then I'll jump down. I carefully floated her body on the outside of the balcony, and then I had this weird, and totally random, arm spasm that caused me to drop my wand. That will forever and always be my excuse for being careless.

After looking down to see where she might end up after my 'arm spasm,' I realized that she would hit something. She would miss all the little gargoyles, but there's a statue of a bigger gargoyle on the second floor that she definitely wouldn't miss. Draco apparently saw this too and started muttering every spell he could thing of.

"Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!" I cursed.

I can't spongify the gargoyle. I can't levitate her, because she's out of range. I can't do anything. I'll be spending the rest of my life in a jail cell getting fat. Even worse, I'll spend the rest of my life in a jail cell getting fat with my mother. I have to think of something. Maybe if I transport the gargoyle to left a little, I might be able to save her ass.

"Windgardium Leviosa!"

I cant' lift her from here. And since when did I want to lift her? That definitely wasn't me who uttered that. Hey, Granger's not dead. But, how can I move the gargoyle to the left. I don't know how to do that. Oh, wait a minute…

Granger's not dead!

She's not dead yet!

I can live the life of a normal privileged man!

And Draco…is hovering Granger carefully? Since when did he start saving people? Since when did he start saving her? How incredibly Gryffindor-y of him. Although, I could've saved her way better.

Just then, another red spark tried to swallow me whole.

I rolled my eyes and jumped off, not caring whether or not I jumped far enough, because I wanted an answer from Draco. And lucky for me, I reached the floor safely.

"You've got a lot of guts saving Granger," I said as soon as I reached him.

"You've got a lot of guts trying to make her death look like a suicide," Draco retorted.

"I had an arm spasm!"

"Arm spasm my ass!"

"Whatever. Look, do you want to continue this or not, because risking there lives again would be really stupid," I asked Draco with a serious expression.

Draco smirked. "Of course."

……………………………………………………..

"How long till they regain consciousness?" asked Blaise.

"Fifteen minutes, if I'm not mistaken," I replied distractedly.

We had just experienced an almost murder, which I used to see often, so now I had to find a place safe enough to sit them. Then, I could make them drink another potion that will have the whole of Gryffindor Tower screaming for fresh air.

"Are you sure?" he asked again.

That's one of the many differences between Blaise and me. He worries about things going right, and I know that things are going right. There's also the little thing he's getting for Granger. Sure, I let it slide because I'm in denial, but he's getting something. In fact, he's getting an epidemic that I like to call Granger-you-whore syndrome.

"Draco-."

I stopped abruptly.

I think this place is safe. There's nothing to harm us here. We have nice looking trees and no animal that resembles anything with sharp teeth in the area. I think we're good here.

"Put them down here," I commanded Blaise.

He only sighed and neatly placed Granger on a stump. He then made sure her skirt wouldn't fly up for all the world to see, and he made sure her back was comfortable.

I slammed Potter and Weasel against a tree and glared at the back of his head.

I knew he had a thing for Granger! Who freaking cares if she's comfortable? At least she's alive. Granted, she didn't know she was close to dying today, but still, he shouldn't care.

That's it. I'm going to make him admit it, and then I'm going to proceed to help him get over it.

"Ah!" I heard Blaise yell causing me to snap out of my rage/thought process.

"You filthy, filthy…oh, I'll call you something mean when I can fully grasp why you have a twin brother," I heard a bossy girl voice yell back.

Blaise turned towards me. "You said she would be out for another fifteen!"

"I estimated!" I said defensively. Seriously, how would I have known?

"Well," Blaise said seething, "you suck at estimating."

"Ah!"

"Grrhmfjdasaik."

"Great, now the rest of them are up," Blaise sighed, giving me a look. He then turned around and started advancing towards Granger.

"Were you trying to prank us?" asked Granger already on her feet.

"No freaking duh we were trying to prank you. Why else would Draco set foot in this damn forest!" yelled Blaise.

"To play with the pretty little unicorns," replied Potter sarcastically, regaining his thought process.

"I don't like unicorns!" I protested.

"Really? What was that you told Zabini to put in his 'man purse' in sixth year? It definitely wasn't an ink bottle, Malfoy. Ink bottles don't have blue hair," accused Potter.

"Yeah," Weasel tried.

He clearly hadn't gone back to his senses yet.

"Why do we always have to bring up my man purse?" Blaise asked agitated.

"Simply because you have one," replied Granger.

I smirked at the reply Blaise would throw back. Granger didn't throw a smart comment; therefore, Blaise would counter with something that would surely make her cry. My smirk got wider at the thought of what he might say. Here it comes….yup, it's coming…any minute now…it's definitely coming…

"That's not fair," he said instead, crossing his arms over his chest.

"It is to fair and you know it," Granger said with a glint in her eye.

If I didn't know better, I would think that understanding passed between them after Granger's last comment. He was facing away from me, so maybe he was glaring, and she was trying to piss him off by smiling and doing that glinty thing with her eye.

"Alright," Potter started. "Why don't you two go screw a magical tree, and we can try to find our way out of here. It shouldn't be too hard," said Potter, looking at his surroundings.

I looked at him and glared. Sure, he's been stuck in this place more than once, but that doesn't mean he has to brag about knowing the area. What a Golden Boy! I really dislike him with a very strong passion. Right now, he should be stinking up the place. Why aren't magical beans we slipped into his plate working?

"What magical beans?" asked Potter suspiciously.

I looked at him surprised.

"What magical beans?" asked Potter again, this time more firmly.

After a couple of seconds, I realized what I had done wrong…Dammit, I said that last part out loud.

"You might as well tell him. We're the only ones in the area to blame, and it didn't work anyway," said Blaise, sitting on a tree stump.

I sighed. Even though I was accusing him in the back of my mind for not lying, he was right. There was nothing to blame anything on. It was just them and us in a forest.

"You might as well," I said, grabbing my wand just in case. "We wanted to knock you guys out and put you in the Forbidden Forest."

"How original," commented Weasel.

Yes, that was a proper sarcastic comment, surprisingly.

Instead of replying, I gave him a quick glare and continued. "However, we wanted to make Potter fart by putting beans in his lunch. That way, you could attract a herd of centaurs."

"So, you planned to kill us?" asked Potter.

"No, just wound you badly," replied Blaise.

"Well, that just makes it a whole lot better," Granger said, checking herself for bruises.

"Yeah. And you're farting plan didn't work," Potter said through gritted teeth.

"Why?" I asked, trying to get the information out of him.

Potter eyed me suspiciously. "Because I don't have problems with actual beans you idiot."

Well, that definitely narrows it down to at least one hundred more types of beans.

Instead of commenting, I put my thoughts into something else, like how the hell we were going to get out of here. I did so much turning that I forgot the direction we came in. I was lost, but there was no way they would know that I was.

"Hey, I recognize that tree!" exclaimed Weasley. "It was the one I ran into on our way back to the spiders last year."

"I'm surprised you could recognize it. You were out for a good fifteen minutes," said Granger, examining the tree.

"Plus, the blood on your forehead conveniently attracted the spiders and those wolf-hounds," said Potter looking over his shoulders.

"Honestly, Harry. They're not going to come and kill us anymore. We made a deal with them," said Granger reassuringly.

There was a slight pause in the conversation.

"Wolf-hounds?" asked Blaise.

Granger turned around. "Yeah. The humungous dog-like creature with those nasty fangs."

"I know what they are," Blaise said. "I just wanted to know if they were really in the forest."

"We just said so didn't we?" asked Potter sarcastically.

"I wasn't talking to you Potter," said Blaise.

"So. I had an answer, and I said it," said Potter before whispering something to Granger.

"What did you whisper about me?" asked Blaise.

Potter rolled his eyes. "Not everything is about you!"

"Don't raise your voice at me!" Blaise yelled.

"Umm, hello, you're the one who's raising your voice," pointed out Potter.

If I wasn't so busy looking on while those two were fighting, I would have noticed the noise coming from the bushes.

"How about we all stop raising our voices," suggested Granger.

"No one asked you!" Potter and Blaise said in unison.

"Hey, don't scream at her like that!" shouted Potter.

"You did the same thing!" shouted Blaise.

"Yeah, but I'm allowed!" Potter screamed back.

"Since when were you allowed!" Granger screamed.

"What are you doing in our forest!" screamed a voice.

"This isn't your forest!" Blaise yelled.

But, as he turned around, he soon regretted those words. What stood there wasn't what we planned on happening. In fact, we did plan on it appearing, but we didn't know it actually would. It was a centaur, and an angry one at that. Its nostrils were flared, and there were at least twenty of them behind the one up front. Gosh, we've got to stop arguing. That's most likely how they found us in the first place.

"It is our forest. I thought we made it very clear to you wizards, but I guess we didn't try hard enough," said the centaur with an evil glint in its eyes.

"You did make it clear enough Temith," replied Potter with confidence.

"Then why are you here?" asked the one up front, Temith, still as angry as he first appeared to us.

"We got tricked into it," explained Weasley.

Temith looked at Weasel with a slightly softened face. "I would like to believe you, for you are a decent wizard Ron, but I can't take a chance of you lying to me. We shall have to punish you all in order to be fair."

"No Temith!"

"I'm sorry Ron," Temith said before surrounding us. "I warned you before."

While that was going on, I absentmindedly got closer to where Granger and Blaise were. Blaise was almost cowering, but Granger kept her composure, despite the fear in her eyes. Damn her bravery.

"Please don't Temith. We wouldn't lie," pleaded Granger.

"I have no proof of that," Temith said while the whole lot of them closed the circle.

"Hey, maybe if we took all of you out for a drink, you'd trust us. We'll show you how to party like it's your birthday!" suggested Blaise nervously.

The Golden Trio looked at Blaise with wide eyes and a fearful expression that meant why-did-you-just-say-that-you-stupid-Slytherin.

Blaise, in return, just shrugged.

"Well, it is my birthday," said the centaur facing Potter.

"Well, happy birthday mate," said Weasel with a nervous smile.

"I've always wanted to taste butterbeer," said the centaur.

"And we can help with that," offered Blaise.

"Silence! Don't you see they're trying to stall? Attack them now!" yelled Temith.

All the centaurs nodded and started to prepare to charge. Granger, Blaise, and I got our wands out while Potter and Weasel frantically searched for theirs. Stupid idiots. They're always forgetting their wands.

"Ready!" yelled Temith.

"No!" yelled Weasel.

"He wasn't asking you Ron," whispered Granger.

Weasel shrugged.

"Char-."

"Where Hagrid!" said a raspy, deep sounding voice.

In my opinion, that voice was the most angelic thing I've ever heard. It saved our lives.

"Who cares where Hagrid is!" yelled Temith.

"Me cares!" exclaimed that voice, and let me tell you, it definitely wasn't a centaur.

I turned around cautiously so I wouldn't alarm them with sudden movement and saw that the Golden Trio was looking up at this big furry creature like he was a god. Their eyes were wide, and Granger looked like she was about to cry. If their reaction to this creature didn't confuse Blaise and I enough, what they said next did. It was a simple word, but it's meaning would confuse me for the rest of my life, or at least until I get an explanation.

"Grawp!"

………………………………………………

Author's note: So, how was that. Well, I decided not to make them fight much in this chapter. And, I will guarantee a chapter where Draco and Blaise actually get them back, although I don't know when I'll right that. Gotta get to the juicy stuff first. Anyways, read and review.