CHAPTER ONE • Tailwind
"Good flying there," Mal remarked, scanning the astrogation readout. "Looks like you're gonna have us at Beaumonde a day and a half ahead of schedule."
River didn't glance up from her console. "Good tailwind," she said quietly.
"Hm?"
"Tailwind, a wind blowing in the same direction as the course of a ship or aircraft."
Mal opened his mouth, then closed it again and nodded. It was usually best not to question some of the things his child-prodigy copilot said. "Right," he muttered after a moment, "I suppose I'll go tell Inara she can—" The engine gave a sudden hiccup, causing the lights to flicker. "(Son of a dog and a—)" Mal swore, nearly missing a step in the half-second of darkness. "I thought Kaylee fixed that short!"
"I did," came the normally-cheery voice approaching from the end of the hallway. "It's somethin' different this time. I don't know what's goin' on. Everything's pretty new since the rebuild. It's—it's almost like…"
"…I would describe it as similar to the reaction of a patient who's given a transfusion of an incompatible blood type," Simon said, close on Kaylee's heels as always of late.
"Is that like when you give someone a donated organ and they reject it?" Kaylee asked.
"A little, but not quite as severe," the doctor explained. "Some blood types don't recognise others, and when they're in the same vessel together, they tend to attack each other the way white blood cells attack pathogens."
"Hmm. Yeah. I wouldn't really say it's like that—" Kaylee said with a shrug, turning to her captain, "since I know all the parts we scavenged were the right kind, so it's not like Serenity would reject them—I just…"
"But you can fix it, right?" Mal asked. Kaylee sighed.
"I'd hafta know what's causing the problems in order to fix 'em," she murmured apologetically.
"Well," Mal said as he brushed past her to head for the kitchen, "little River's done some flyin' that'll get us to Beaumonde earlier than we'd planned. Use the downtime wisely."
"Shìa," the girl whispered. Simon reached over and stroked her hair.
"It's going to be all right," he said quietly. "You're the best mechanic I've ever met, and I had friends who went to Alliance academies. If anyone can figure out what's ailing Serenity, it's you."
"(Honey-tongued flatterer)," Kaylee said in Chinese, a smile briefly gracing her features.
On the bridge, one of the monitors came on. River glanced at it out of the corner of her eye, but all that was visible was visual static, so she ignored it. The low-volume fuzz accompanying the snow whined and crackled, but wasn't loud enough to be distracting, so she continued to concentrate on piloting. It was when the noise suddenly dropped and then peaked, its character changing for a split-second so as to resemble a warped vocal transmission, that she jumped. And felt the hair on her neck and arms rise. Eyes. Someone was watching—
"AAHHH!" she cried, leaping up from the chair and darting back. She whirled around and crashed into Simon just as he rushed up the stairs, alerted by her scream. She couldn't catch herself. The floor was cold and hard.
"Mèi-mei—!" His warm hands touched her shoulders and helped her sit up. Kaylee's face, full of concern, sprouted from behind his shoulder like a wing.
"He—he's here!" River whispered, shaking her head to get the hair out of her face. "He's here!"
"Who's here?" her brother asked, glancing around. "I don't see any—"
"No, you can't see him!" she hissed, clamping her hands over her ears. "Get out of my mind! You shouldn't come into other people's heads without asking!" The static on the monitor buzzed, and Kaylee dashed over to switch it off. Simon looked up in bewilderment, shaking his head.
"It's like she's having a relapse," he muttered. "I was so sure she—"
"I don't understand. Why are you still here?" River whispered, her question directed at something only she could perceive. Simon followed her gaze, but saw nothing. A hallucination? "You can't?" He gave a start, wondering if she had plucked a question from his mind, but her attention was still elsewhere.
She relaxed suddenly. "Really?" A relieved smile spread across her face. "Then show me. Do something." The monitor on the console came back on, and her eyes widened. "That was you?"
"River?" Simon asked. Kaylee's expression was one of utmost pity, as if she had been told that River had some terminal illness and only a few months to live.
"Shh! I'm communing!" She stood up and looked around, idly smoothing her skirt. "Really? All this time?" Simon spread his hands and exchanged a look with Kaylee. River abruptly turned to face him. "Oh, you think—" She laughed. "No, Simon, I'm not hallucinating. He's here! He just isn't used to being like this."
"Who's here, sweetie?" Kaylee asked gently, still not quite sure what to make of River's sudden change in mood.
"Wash!"
Simon and Kaylee stared at the girl for a moment, then looked around, puzzled. Wash sighed.
«I told you, River, you're the only one who knows I'm here.»
"Yes, I know. It's because I'm special. You said so."
«They still don't believe you, do they?» The insubstantial pilot glanced at his crewmates. «I've been trying to get noticed for months now. Can't you, I don't know, open your mind to them and show them what you sense?»
"I don't know," she said simply. "I think I can only receive, not send."
'So unusual,' Simon thought. 'I've never seen her appear to carry on a cogent conversation with herself like this—it's like no other behaviour I've seen in her so far…'
«Well, I HAVE been working on a few tricks,» Wash said, and his misty form rippled over to the console. What River saw looked like him thrusting his hand directly into the keyboard for the main monitor.
Letters appeared on the screen. KAYLEE. Simon noticed this and must have made some horrific expression, because Kaylee's face paled and she whirled around to see what he was looking at. A gasp escaped her throat.
DO I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION NOW?
She nodded silently.
GOOD. I DON'T LIKE DOING THINGS TO SERENITY. I'M PART OF HER NOW.
"No—no way," Kaylee whispered, bright tears suddenly welling up in her eyes. "You—you're really here?"
YEAH. BEEN HERE SINCE—WELL, YOU KNOW.
"Oh my God," she said, the tears now streaming down her cheeks. "Zoe—Mal—we've got to tell—"
NO, NOT YET, KAYLEE. The letters paused. I…REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW ZOE WOULD TAKE THIS. I WANT TO TELL HER MYSELF—IF I CAN FIGURE OUT A GOOD WAY TO—
"Hey," Jayne said abruptly, sticking his head in through the door, "you gonna stand up here all night while we eat all the food?" Wash's screen went black, and the three living humans on the bridge were left staring at the mercenary like busted cats. "What's with those faces?" he grunted. "C'mon down and eat, already."
«Yes, I miss all of you,» Wash said to River. «Even Jayne.»
Simon cleared his throat. "Um, right," he said. "Yeah. We're coming." Kaylee made a noise of agreement, and River smiled. Jayne gave them an odd look, then turned and left.
"—really gonna miss the Shepherd's cooking," Zoe was saying as they entered the kitchen. With a glance at the captain, she continued, "Think whatever you want about the man's teachin', but you gotta admit, he did amazing things with spices."
"That's for sure," Mal mumbled around a mouthful of flavoured protein. "I miss real food already."
"The Companion Academy offered classes in the culinary arts," Inara commented, gracefully passing a dish to the newcomers. "In retrospect, I wish I had taken more than the basic level."
Mal glanced at River, then did a double-take. "Simon," he said, pausing in transferring a forkful of food to his mouth, "why's your sister got a look like the cat that swallowed the canary?"
"What? I don't eat birds!" River said, and burst out laughing.
"Oh, um," the doctor said, gesturing at his sibling to sit down, "it's nothing, she's—she's just in a good mood."
"Kaylee's lookin' perkier than normal, too," Zoe said. ("How can you tell?" was Jayne's response.) "You guys know somethin' we don't?"
Simon and Kaylee exchanged a glance just as River explained, "We were talking on the bridge."
"About what?" Mal wondered.
"Things," River said curtly, and began eating.
The next few minutes passed in silence. Mal cleared his throat as he pushed his empty plate away. "So, Kaylee," he said, starting to stand up and gather used dishes, "you got a shopping list or something of parts to look for when we get to Beaumonde?"
"Huh?" She looked up, eyes wide. "Oh, right. Naw, Cap'n, I think I figured out what the problem is. It, uh, oughtta be okay now."
"That's good. —You're sure?"
"Yup yup," she chirped.
River finished her meal and leapt up. "I'm going to go check our trajectory," she said, spinning on her heel and dashing out of the room.
"Ah, speakin' of which—" Kaylee said, scraping at a stubborn bit of dried nutro-paste, "there's the—y'know—" She nudged Simon, who made a noise and nodded.
Zoe chuckled. "Oh, c'mon, you two," she said, rising from her seat to help Mal, "it's not like we don't know what you're goin' off to do."
"No, no, it's different this time," Kaylee assured her. "I really do need his help with the—"
"All right, all right," the first mate said, smiling a smile that did not reach her darkened eyes.
River dropped into her seat, staring at the dinosaurs they had left standing on the edge of the console as a sort of memorial to her predecessor. "I bet you miss playing with them, huh?" she asked softly.
«A little,» came the answer in her mind's ear. «Sometimes it feels like I'm almost able to touch stuff, but never quite. I mostly miss Zoe. Humans are meant to be physical creatures, you know, with all the pleasures and pains that go with having flesh.»
"What, you're a philosopher now?" River couldn't help a slight smile.
«Well, I HAVE had a lot of time to think about stuff. Not much else to do when you're incorporeal.»
"Hey, why don't you possess Serenity?" the empath wondered, sitting up. "You know, like how I pretended to do when Jubal Early came here looking for me?"
«Hey…now that's a thought!» Wash responded, becoming visible in her peripheral mind-vision. He walked over and sat down in what had been his chair. «I'd have to figure out just how to do it, though. But that'd be great. Really flying the ship, not just…aiming it.»
River glanced over. "You're sitting."
«Huh?» Wash looked around. «Well, how about that? I guess I am. I wonder what's up with that.»
"And now that I think about it," the girl mused, "you don't fall through the floor, either. Maybe it's a matter of willpower."
«Huh,» the spirit said. He got back to his feet and leaned over the console, reaching for his toy dinosaurs. His hand passed through the T. rex. After two or three misses, he paused to concentrate. With a very Zen-like expression on his face, Wash extended his fingers and, with slight awkwardness, grasped the plastic beast and turned it to face River. «All hail River, the Wunderkind!» Wash said in his dinosaur voice. River laughed.
"I didn't realise trajectories were so funny," Zoe said, completely startling both on the bridge. The dinosaur dropped to the console and rolled down onto the floor. Zoe started back.
«Oh—oh, my God—» Wash began as he jumped up, unable to properly form a thought. «Zo—»
"Gôushî!" River cried suddenly. "I was so close to perfecting my psychokinetic technique!"
"What?" Zoe asked, bewildered.
The psychic pilot looked down sheepishly. "I've—I've been practising," she lied. "Trying to expand my abilities beyond telepathy."
"On my dead husband's toy dinosaurs?" Zoe's voice sounded slightly husky. This was the closest River had ever seen her to crying. Wash's ghost bit his lip. The waves of grief emanating from him and Zoe were so overwhelming that it was all River could do to keep from bursting into tears. The tyrannosaurus on the floor stared up, its beady painted-on eyes never blinking. River would have leaned over to pick it up, but the swirl of emotions filling the room kept her transfixed. It suddenly occurred to her how tumultuous Zoe's heart was, and as River glanced over her shoulder, she realised that Zoe was aware of Wash's presence.
"This…this ain't…" the ex-soldier whispered, barely audible, her eyes seeming shinier than usual.
«Oh, baby, I know,» Wash said, unashamed of the tears pouring down his face. (River pondered that for a moment. Since Wash was not present in material form, what they saw must just be a projection of his consciousness, the way he always perceived himself. It surely would have no physical analogues with a living body, like hunger or endorphins, but the idea of how emotional states affected the physical body was still programmed into Wash's subconscious mind, and his projected image reflected this. —Which brought up still more, and more interesting, questions. Was it something other than a physical body with a specific genetic code that made someone human? Was there really such a thing as an immortal soul, bound to the flesh by some higher unseen force? River had thought along these directions before, searching for her own answers to questions spiritual and metaphysical, but things were different this time, so different…) «I don't know if you can hear me, Zoe—»
"I can hear you," she whispered hoarsely.
«—I miss you, baby. God, I miss you so much,» he said, sniffling. He raised an insubstantial hand to wipe off his face, and River saw a lone tear leak down Zoe's cheek. The girl jumped up and ran to the door, slamming and locking it shut. This needed to be private. No one could see. Not even her. She sat down on the cold metal floor, facing the wall.
"How—?"
«I—I don't know. I don't. I'd ask the Shepherd, but he doesn't seem to be around.» River heard Zoe sniff. «So you can see me too. Power of love, huh?» He laughed quietly. «Good thing, too, I guess. If it was just River, I wouldn't want everyone to think she had had a relapse, after all that (headless-chicken-running) we did to Miranda and back.»
"R—River can see you?" Zoe glanced behind her. "River— River, what's wrong?"
"I don't want to intrude," the girl responded, not turning around. "Should be private."
"No, no, honey, it's all right," the Amazonian woman said, gently helping the tormented teen to her feet. "You didn't have to keep this to yourself, River. You could have told me."
«I—I'm responsible for that,» Wash's spirit admitted. «I wanted to tell you myself. Though I had hoped to find just the right circumstances, which I don't quite think these are…»
"Besides," River piped up, "you wouldn't have believed me." Zoe made a sound halfway between a chuckle and a sob.
«I'm so sorry,» Wash said, patting his ghost pockets for a handkerchief or tissue. «Dying the way I did—I should've seen that coming, don't you think?»
"No, no…Hoban, sweetie, it's not your fault…" Zoe soothed, turning back to the shade.
«Maybe you don't think so. But I've had a lot of time to think about it, and it really eats me up inside that I wasn't more careful.» He sniffed loudly and wiped his face, laughing mirthlessly. «This is weird, though. How can I feel like I need to blow my nose? I don't even have a body!» His widow smiled.
"Definitely the same man I married," she said. "I'd offer you something, but…"
«Hmm,» Wash mused. «Give it a try.» He extended a spiritual hand, face set with determination. Zoe fished in her pockets and pulled out a pack of Tempo. She pulled one from the wrapper and held it over Wash's hand, and he carefully and deliberately closed his fingers around it. It wasn't quite like how a material person would hold something—Wash's hand seemed to "overlap" the space that was taken up by the matter of the tissue (which prompted some interesting speculation on River's part as to how an immaterial being fit in with current understandings of physics), but he took it, and successfully managed to dab at his face and eyes. Zoe reached for his face, questing for something to touch, and she must have found something, because her fingers moved as if caressing his cheek. More tears flowed from her eyes, and River felt very much the intruder.
"How long have you…been like this?" Zoe wondered.
«You mean as a ghost, right? I've been here ever since I died, but it's just been recently that I've been able to affect my surroundings. Mainly the electronic bits of Serenity.»
"Of course," River said, comprehension dawning. "He must be a collection of charged subatomic particles, giving off enough energy to be seen and to disrupt electromagnetic fields, but not enough to have noticeable mass. It would help explain why he's out-of-phase with our reality."
«Uh…yeah! That's it!» Wash agreed, then shrugged as Zoe gave him a look. «What? It's been a long time since I took physics.»
"Although that doesn't explain why he doesn't generate a massive field of static that disrupts everything within a certain radius," River continued. "How does a ghost work? This is fascinating."
"Don't matter to me how it works," Zoe murmured, rubbing at her face with a tissue. "All that matters is that he's here."
«God, I have missed you all so much,» Wash said. His ghost was wearing what had been, in life, his favourite Hawaiian shirt, and he absentmindedly tried tucking the tissue in his hand into the breast pocket before remembering that he couldn't. «Especially you, honey, but it's been awful, watching everyone go about their lives and not be able to do anything.» Smiling, he jerked his head in River's direction. «Though little River's got quite a talent for piloting. I don't even have to guide her subconsciously, she flies Serenity so well.» Zoe smiled, but her face was still full of sadness. «I know what you're thinking, baby. I want to hold you, too. But I think I need a little more practise manifesting first.»
"I'll be waiting," she said, leaning forward. Wash concentrated, and the human's lips overlapped the ghost's. "I gotta run, sweetie, but come talk to me tonight."
«I'll do that,» Wash promised.
Turning about, with a glance over her shoulder and a warm smile for both River and the spectre, Zoe left the bridge, but with a spring in her step that hadn't been there before. River felt warm inside. Wash let out an incorporeal sigh.
«Hell of a woman,» he breathed. «She's so strong. I can't believe how strong she is. If she had died instead of me, I wouldn't have been able to do anything, I'd be grieving so hard.»
"I wonder if that's what some people would call fate," River mused.
Forty-eight hours later, Inara's shuttle launched from the side of Serenity, heading for a rendezvous on the other side of Beaumonde. River stayed on course, checking to make sure everything was in order for landing. Mal stomped onto the bridge, his foul mood apparent even without telempathy.
"(Frog-humping, dog-ass-licking sons of retarded monkey-whores! Fuck the universe in its ear!)" he raged in Mandarin, dropping into Wash's old chair, which creaked alarmingly. He sent River a look out of the corners of his eyes. "Got a bit of a problem."
"I know," she said, turning serenely to face him. "Kuykendall can't pay full price."
"That's right," he muttered, letting out another string of Chinese profanity. "And if I didn't have to tell you that, I surely don't have to tell you how much we needed those credits." The captain shook his head. "We don't just need gas, we need food, too. Our rations are gettin' dangerously low. Where in the hell are we supposed to get more money?"
River leaned forward and flipped the switches that started the shutdown of the grav-generator, then angled Serenity a touch forward for atmospheric entry. "Perhaps we could take on some passengers."
"Oh, that's a (cat's brilliant plan for opening doors without thumbs)," he retorted. "You remember what happened the last time we did that?"
She shook her head. "No, I can honestly say I don't."
He blinked. "Oh, right. You were frozen. I guess you wouldn't know, then." Mal sighed and leaned back. "The last time I—we—ferried passengers for money, it was you and your brother, Shepherd Book, and that tâ-mâ húndàn lawman we ended up dumpin' on Whitefall. Remember him?"
"All too well," River whispered. "But," and she raised her voice back to a normal level, "you don't know. We could meet someone like Inara."
"Another Companion?" Mal laughed. "Two Companions, travellin' on the same flying jalopy? That'd be the day."
She gazed at him coolly. "Wait and see. Just trust me."
He threw his hands in the air. "Right, right…you're the psychic one…" Rising from the chair with a grunt, he turned on his heel and clomped off the bridge.
«You think we're going to find a Companion on Beaumonde who wants to travel with us?» Wash asked, lowering himself into the just-vacated seat.
"Not a Companion," River responded. "But someone."
Wash sighed and leaned back, lacing his fingers behind his head. He couldn't lean far, since his incorporeal body lacked the means to push the chair back into the reclining position, but he seemed comfortable nonetheless. «I'm glad you were able to notice me,» he said. «I don't know WHAT I was gonna do if I had to keep scrambling around for attention.»
"Are you better able to manifest?" she queried.
«Oh, yeah. I'm loads better, got all kinds of new tricks. Watch this!» He leaned forward, and it looked like he got sucked into the console. Half a second later, an image of his smiling face appeared on the screen like a wave. «Hello there!» His voice sounded almost normal, like sound transmitted over a wave, rather than the ethereal voice River had been hearing in her mind.
River grinned. "Can you still perceive when you're like that?"
«Yeah! It's like the whole screen is my eyes. I can see everything on the bridge. And I'm betting everyone else would be able to see me, too.»
"Would you like to test that?"
«Hmmm…» Wash's image rubbed his chin thoughtfully. «Aw, hell, why not? Mal was just in here. Go grab him! I'll keep an eye on the controls.» The next switch in the landing sequence suddenly flipped, and River glanced up, mildly spooked. Shock quickly turned to laughter, and she dashed up from her chair and ran down the stairs into the hallway. Mal's door was open.
"Captain Reynolds!" she called playfully.
"Shénme?" came the response, and a confused face peered up at her a moment later.
"Come back to the bridge," River requested. "There's something you should see."
"Don't know if I should be worried or not, you lookin' that happy," he mumbled, climbing up the ladder and following her. "Yeah? Wh— (HOLY MOTHER OF BUDDHA AND THEIR NAGA BUTLER!)" The colour rushed from his face, and he grabbed at the doorframe. "Oh, it's just— Just—" He scoffed. "You brought me up here to show me a recorded wave of Wash? Dammit, kid, don't scare me like that!"
«Hey, Mal! I'm not a wave! Nice to see you too!» Wash called from his position within the computer.
"A-buh-wha—?"
«Ah. You seem confused; allow me to explain. I am a ghost.» Mal blinked and crept toward the console. «Yeah. I'm dead, but my spirit is stuck here on Serenity. It's actually kinda neat. I get to stay around the people I care about, and the fact that I can manipulate stuff in ways I couldn't before almost makes up for the fact that I can't interact with solid matter.»
The captain said nothing for a moment. Then he turned to River, pointed at the screen, and asked "Is this something you're doing?"
"No," she responded. "But I sense how your atheism is being shaken by this turn of events."
"Athe—! I ain't atheist, just ag—agna—what's the word?"
«Agnostic,» Wash supplied.
"Yeah. Whatever. No, this—this just isn't possible. I'm sorry, Wash, but I—I saw you die. I was there…"
«Umm…yeah.» He grimaced. «I was there too, and I rather wish I hadn't been. Dying is not fun. But I'm still here…not sure why, but I am, so it's shiny, I guess.»
"Um," Mal began, clearing his throat and still looking very skeptical, "if…if you're really still here, as a ghost, how come we never noticed you before?"
«Oh, you did,» the pilot clarified. «I was still getting used to being incorporeal, finding out what I could do and all. Mostly, I just tried to affect electronic things on Serenity—parts of the engine, the nav-system, stuff like that. It was just the other day that River was able to see—»
A realisation hit Mal, and he shook himself. "Wait, that—all that malfunctioning was YOU?" Wash let out a nervous chuckle.
«Well, nothing was permanent, so no harm done, right?» The captain had an expression on his face like that of a father staring at the man who had deflowered his precious only daughter.
Wash cleared his throat and turned to face River. «Well, anyway,» he said, «I guess this proves it.» Glancing behind him, as if looking down at the approaching planet through Serenity's eyes, he added, «Oh, maybe I should do something about that.»
"—Ahh! No, sorry, it's my fault," River cried, throwing herself into the copilot's chair. "I should have been paying attention." She hit the next few keys in the landing sequence just as Serenity began to slow down slightly, the first sign of atmospheric entry. Within moments, orange flames were licking past the windshield, and River pitched the ship smoothly back to slow their descent.
"Am I dreaming or something?" Mal wondered to no-one in particular. "I've gotta be—there's no way—don't understand how…"
«He's not taking it quite as well as Zoe did,» Wash remarked. «Oh well. At any rate, I think it's time I made my presence known.» He grinned. «This should be interesting.»
"As long as it's not the 'Oh God, we're all going to die' type of interesting…" Mal grumbled, stomping out of the room.
«Attention, people!» came the slightly-tinny, echoing voice of Wash over the ship's speaker system. «Hi! How've you all been? I'm dead, but I'm still here.» A beautiful smile spread across Zoe's face as she worked in the cargo bay, cataloguing crates and supplies. Jayne glanced up and around the bay, seeming to forget that Simon was still struggling with the seventy-pound barbell on the bench. «Aw, you guys don't have to look so shocked. Jayne, help Simon.» The mercenary gave an involuntary jump, some of the colour draining from his face, and he grabbed the weight from Simon and placed it back on the rack. Simon sat up, panting and shaking sensation back into his tired, half-numbed arms. Kaylee leapt up from the hammock in the engine room and spun around in joy. «I expect most of you are taking this about the same as our captain. This sort of thing is impossible, right? Everyone knows there's no such thing as ghosts. Yeah, I didn't think so either at first. But I'm definitely here, if not fully material, and I suppose if you don't want to believe that, you don't have to, but it would make me very sad.»
"Wash—Wash's—" Jayne began, his bewilderment obvious in the eyes he focussed on Zoe— "Wash is here? That—that ain't—How—?"
The first mate just smiled as she continued to make notes on the electronic film attached to her clipboard. "Guess somebody somewhere decided he wasn't done here."
The crew members were still marvelling when Serenity touched down in the spaceport of New Algiers, a city on Beaumonde's small southern continent. As soon as the bay doors opened, Jayne was out, still looking disturbed by what he had heard. Simon followed close behind, classic medical concern etched on his features.
"Jayne," he called, and the surly gunman glared at him over one shoulder. "It's—it's all right. I understand you must be kind of—"
"Understand? Hell, you don't understand nothin'," Jayne growled, and it was apparent to anyone who knew him well that he was actually scared. "Maybe on your rich, shiny Core world you grow up thinkin' spooks and the like are normal, but no, that—that ain't natural." He jerked his head toward Serenity. "You got yer science 'n' stuff—you can drug people to make 'em look dead, like you 'n' River did, 'n' like Mal's old army buddy—but there ain't no way you're gonna convince me that Wash's still alive. Hell, I buried the guy myself!"
Simon shook his head. "He's—he's not alive, Jayne. It was hard for me to grasp, too. My father was a scientist, my mother a professor—I was raised to think rationally, to disbelieve superstitions and folklore. River is the same way—and she was the first one to realise Wash—or his spirit, anyway—is still here."
"(Girl is crazier than a guy going out surfing in a typhoon,)" Jayne grumbled. "Don't tell me you actually believe what she tells you she sees!"
"I didn't, at first," the doctor admitted, approaching him. "But then I saw the evidence. …It's hard, realising that what you were brought up to believe is wrrong. That there really is an invisible world, and not just one made up of molecules and electrons, the things science can prove are there."
Jayne shook his head. "Whatever. I'm gonna head off to the rendezvous point, in case Mal asks." He adjusted his bulky coat—no doubt, in Simon's mind, concealing more than a few weapons—and strode off the landing pad, disappearing among the ever-shifting crowd of pedestrians. Dr. Tam sighed and turned back to the ship, just as Mal, Zoe, and River disembarked.
"Where's—?" the captain began.
"Rendezvous point," Simon responded. It was striking how Jayne's barely-hidden aura of abject fear contrasted with Zoe's mood. She was beaming, happier than he had seen her in weeks, nearly glowing in her joyful beauty. River came up to her brother and looked into his eyes.
"Come with me," she said simply.