Chapter 3
Mothers and Names, Oh My!
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Nodoka slowly felt reality begin to return to her, as well as a slight headache from the alcohol already making its exit known to her through a small headache that promised a larger one to come.
"It's not funny, Koi."
"I disagree, Anata."
She had had such a weird dream. She had dreamt of her son's return, accompanied by his wife, Nabiki, and their two children.
"How is it funny that she actually wanted to become my mistress?"
"Dear, you are missing the big picture, and be quiet; you might wake up Ranko with the volume of your discussion."
I wish these people would be quiet.
She delved more into thought. The dream had been so...weird. Her son had come back, but not before carrying her home, and forgetting to introduce himself, so she had inadvertently began to daydream about the example of manliness holding her. And then for the dream hunk who had come to take away her loneliness to say he was her son...
"That's another thing. I thought we were going to name him Ranma, after me?"
"And what's wrong with Ranko? I thought it was a little gender neutral, like yours?"
"All I know is we need to start calling him Ranma and not Ranko. I would really hate to have to teach my son martial arts just to keep him from being beat up because of his name."
"Fine, you can have the next one, I'm sure I can order the Instant Nanniichuan so we can do that. Then you can tell me what to name our child."
Okay, these voices are really weird. Maybe I am hallucinating?
"Nabiki, I'm just worried, okay. The kid will have a hard enough time simply because I'm his dad. I...I just want him to have as much normalcy as possible. It ain't that I hate the name, but don't you think he'll be a little ostracized because he's named after his "Aunt"?"
"Okay, you have a point there. But we can call him Ranko while he's still a child. It can be his nickname from his mother. Okay, Ranma?"
Ranma and Nabiki? Why do those names sound so familiar?
"Thanks, Nabiki."
"No problem, dear. Now, maybe we should see if your Mother is awake yet. I doubt the baka-panda gave her the truth about what happened. And I would like her calmed down before she met her grandchildren."
Grandbabies!
The thought rang through Nodoka's head like a train, unyielding. She opened her eyes to see the couple who had helped her home. My manly son has returned! And he brought me grandbabies!
Ranma never knew what hit him. One minute, he was talking to his wife. The next, he was slammed against the wall by a redheaded woman.
"WAH! MY MANLY SON HAS RETURNED TO HIS MOMMY!"
Ranma would have sighed out loud, had Nodoka not knocked the wind from him in a glomp that would have made Shampoo envious.
He was still slightly stunned; cursing his inability to stop women from surprising him like that, when she stood him up.
"Let me look at you." She appraised Ranma, moving his body and limbs to get a better idea of what shape his body was in. Soon, she stood in front of him, eyes closed. He was about to ask if she was okay, when her arms shot around him and pulled him into a fierce hug—which was currently suffocating Ranma between her cleavage, and swinging his body from side to side. "WAH! MY SON IS VERY MANLY!"
Ranma's arms began waving like the wings of a hummingbird, trying to find something to extricate himself from his smothering, while Nabiki giggled slightly. She was about to remind Nodoka that Ranma still needed to breath, when a small little voice stopped her.
"Are you hurting daddy?"
Nodoka stopped swinging Ranma to face the voice of a small little girl. "Is this person your daddy?" she asked.
The little girl was a little confused. This woman looked like Daddy when he was a Mommy. "Uh huh." She slipped into a loose fighting stance, just like her father had taught her.
She too, as her Father before her, fell to the sheer speed of the Nodoka Glomp. "WAH! MY GRANDDAUGHTER IS SOOOOOO CUTE!"
Ranma, meanwhile, now free from suffocation, suddenly found himself thrown face first into the wall, indenting it slightly. "Owie."
Nabiki merely shook her head as she sat down, looking into the stroller to note that Ranko—Ranma Jr.—was still asleep, before casting her glance at her oldest child. "Kimiko, sweety, that is your grandmother: Grandma Nodoka."
The small Saotome looked from her mother, to the strange woman, to her mother again, and back to the strange woman. She decided to fall onto what she knew from observing her playmate; Kikuko, from the neighborhood. She held out her hand to the older version of her Daddy-Mommy. "Cookie?"
"SOOOO CUTE!"
Nabiki could only giggle. "Yep, truly, she is a Saotome."
Ranma by now had stood up again, working out the cricks from his sudden impact into the wall. Why is it family only shows love through pain? "So uh...Mom...why are you living here?"
Nodoka's mood soured for a second, but turned up as she sat her granddaughter down, motioned that she would be gone for a moment, and left. She returned within a minute with tea, cookies, and a pitcher of milk for Kimiko to have. As everyone situated themselves, she began her story, as Kimiko took a seat on her Grandmother's lap and began to nibble on the cookie she had gotten.
"It was a little over a month after you had left with Nabiki. When I arrived, I noticed your father being attacked by a nice girl named Ukyo." She didn't notice a slight wince Ranma made, so she continued. "She knocked him into the Koi pond and left, which is where I first learned of his curse. When he changed back, I had to endure ten minutes of him whining about you before I knocked him out myself, followed by Mr. Tendo when he began whining as well.
"It was then that Kasumi filled me in on all that had happened. She...she didn't tell me if you had a curse or not, she said your tale was only something you could say. But since Genma was such a coward in hiding, I'm guessing you have one."
Ranma merely nodded. "The fat baka knocked me into Nyannichuan: Spring of Drowned Girl. I think I look like you must have when you were my age. She may have shown you pictures of a redheaded girl with a pigtail."
Nodoka nodded, remembering those photos, but also remembering that Kasumi had said it was a cousin of theirs. "Anyway, when I saw how bad things were getting here, as well as hearing what I could from Kasumi, I filed for divorce. I bought the dojo from Soun with the reward money I got from turning your father in, and have been living here and teaching kendo classes since. The only way Soun and Genma managed to stay here was because I made them work. Kasumi still lives here with her husband: Tofu Ono. Akane is staying here while she attends her classes at university.
"I tell you that girl had some major emotional issues. I had to put my foot down several times when she began to let her temper run lose; especially after she learned about that nice Hibiki boy's curse. I swear she nearly destroyed the place trying to pound him with her mallet. We had to have them marry to avoid scandal several days later when we found them nude in the bathroom. She said she was trying to punish him for being a pervert, but you could tell there was more than that."
Nabiki tried to stifle a giggle, guessing the most likely reason that had happened. Ryoga had probably wondered in to change back, and didn't notice Akane in the furo. Take that, Little Ms. "I ain't a pervert".
Nodoka looked down at Kimiko. "But, I guess things did work out for the best. You two got together after what Akane had did, found the happiness of marriage, and had two great children." She tweaked Kimiko's nose, causing the little girl to giggle. "So, how long are you two in for? I want to know everything that's happened to you."
She added one more part that made Ranma feel a little more depressed, considering once again that this trip might have been the worst idea his wife ever had.
"And, I would like to see what my daughter looks like."
Kasumi was walking home from the clinic, her husband's arm around her side, as he escorted his wife. She could feel the occasional kick of the baby she carried, being six months pregnant. She did consider herself lucky to be with Tofu, a man who seemed to be almost her missing half. He had helped spare her most of the ailments most pregnant women had to deal with.
It didn't hurt that his magic fingers could give a massage that would melt steel, let alone a knot in your back.
"Tofu, do you think they are home yet?" She had decided against telling any of the others that Ranma and Nabiki would arrive. The contact between them had been sparse at best, so as to keep the others from finding any sort of trail to follow.
"Well, considering what today is, we can hope. I know Nodoka would love for it to be today. She needs a reason to celebrate today with joy, not misery." It hurt the both of them that today was the day "Auntie" would disappear to the local taverns, making her rounds to drown her misery at her lost child. Neither of the two had ever told the woman where her son was, a secret they had kept. Ranma and Nabiki wanted a normal life for a bit, and got it.
It was all they asked, it was all they truly needed.
As they continued on, they came across an often seen occurrence in the ward.
"Why do you flee, my Dragon Princess? Come; let us join in the bounties of our heavenly love!"
"Listen, you dumbass! I don't like you! Now leave me the hell alone before I kill you!"
"Ney, this is but more foul magic by the sorcerer; Herb, who doth seek to keep thine heavenly love from the Divine Thunder of Tokyo University. Come; let us embrace so that my pure presence may—URK!"
The former Blue Thunder found himself embedded in the sidewalk from a straight punch from the Dragon Princess: the cursed form of Herb, the Musk Prince. "Jackass, you're just lucky my father won't let me end your sorry existence."
She was panting, trying to keep her rage in check, when she noticed a thermos in front of her. She straightened up, seeing the holder. "Ah, Mrs. Ono, thank you." With a quick splash, she became a he again. "I swear, that little old lady must have nothing better to do than to wash her damn sidewalks." He adjusted his clothes to be somewhat more presentable. "Does she have more than one residence that I am unaware of, as she seems to be everywhere?"
Kasumi giggled a bit, which did bring a slight smile the to Dragon Prince's face. "Well, she does seem to seek out Jusenkyo victims."
Herb shook his head, before he bent over, helping an unconscious Kuno to his feet, before delivering a kick that sent him into LEO. "One would think that useless bag would eventually gain some clue. I swear, even a monk would find himself hard pressed not to slay that male. I would say the whole lot of them were useless, if not for the fact that the female seems to keep my retainers in shape."
"Oh HOHOHOHOHO! My two loves, why must we play these games!"
The trio looked towards the roofs, where Kodachi Kuno was chasing the two said retainers: Mint and Lime. "Scary lady leave us alone, please."
"Yes, no bother anymore. We give money?"
"Why, all I want are your divine forms next to mine. Come, let us embrace as lovers."
"AAAHHH!" screamed the duo as the picked up speed.
"I see what you mean," said Tofu.
Herb shook his head. "Oh, I have been meaning to ask you two a question of a personal nature." As the two nodded their consent, he continued. "I was wondering if you believe if it would be advisable for me to begin courting the former Mrs. Saotome. I have noticed her light growing distant, and would not wish to see her hopes fade."
The Onos were stunned. They had not expected that question. But Kasumi decided to respond. "I think she would love your attention, Herb-kun. But I would ask that you wait a few more days before asking her out. Today is the anniversary that her son left for his training trip. And well..."
Herb nodded. He knew of Nodoka's despair over missing her son. While he found it admirable that the boy would undertake such a journey, the stories he had heard of said boy's adventures even left the Musk Prince disturbed. "I meant no offense in suggesting those actions today. I wished to ask the question while we were alone. I felt that you two were the best judge of whether or not my actions would prove ill-advised."
Tofu nodded. "None was taken. We both agree that Auntie should start dating again. But we would suggest you ask Ukyo as well. She has come to see Auntie as the mother she never had, though she may initially be against it for fear you would take her back to your home."
Herb nodded. "Later perhaps, but should we wed, I believe I would like to stay here for as long as I could, despite certain...unsavory elements. Truth be told, I have never felt as alive as I do here. Well, thank you for your time, and the hot water. Good day."
With that, the three separated.
Herb however, was still deep in thought. He had been here for almost four and a half years, looking for the famed Warrior of Jusenkyo, as sources said the Amazons believed he had ties to this Ward.
He had been able to piece together that the Amazons here believed it was Ranma Saotome who had defeated Saffron. Though Herb had no direct knowledge of the child, he could say that if the ferocity that the Amazons had in believing it was this Ranma was any indication, then perhaps there might be truth with those rumors.
But now, he had found a woman who peaked his interests, whose wit and charms were truly amazing to him. Even should this mission have been for not, if I can woo her, then I would consider this well worth the time and effort.
The smile on Herb's face grew as he headed towards his home, wondering what his chefs had prepared for the dinner rush tonight. Tomorrow, he would seek out Ukyo; the adopted daughter of Nodoka, and ask her permission. Sure, Nodoka was older than him, but she had...something...that drew him to her.
Well, other than her accepting his curse and that hot body she had that made her look his age.
Omake by Kraude:
We see a group of teenage girls having a friendly talk at the tables in front of an ice cream parlor. The topic of the talk is the usual for teenages. Boys, music, clothes and entrance exams to University.
Of course, the last topic is usual with this group, since one of the girls is one called Ami Mizuno.
"Ami-chan, you must be joking." says a blond with twins ponytails, after stopping eating her sunday, Saotome style, after hearing her friend's last sentence.
"No, Usagi-chan, I'm not joking. I decided to try for Kyoto University", says Ami.
"But Ami, you were always saying that your dream is to go to Tokyo University. Why you changed your plans?" says the tall brunette called Makoto.
"I have my reasons..."
At that moment, Kuno appears at the group's table, holding several roses.
"I'll date thee, my ..." begins Kuno before being interrupted by the sight of mallet kind. Not usual for him, but unusual for Ami's friends, since she is the one holding the mallet that struck down the Tuxedo Kamen wannabe.
"Well, that is the reason", says Ami to her friends while gathering her things. "It will be better if we get out of here now".
Omake by Innortal:
For all those wondering how a Kuno got into Tokyo University...
Sasuke made his way into the testing offices, careful he did not trip any silent alarms.
Truly, he was beginning to reconsider his current line of work. The Kuno family was becoming more outrageous.
But, he had done this for Tatewaki, he had no choice but to do this for Kodachi as well.
Quickly, he began sorting through the tests for entrance to Tokyo University, looking for the highest score.
Finally, he found it. "Keitaro Urashima... Oh, I used his last year so Master Kuno could gain entrance to Tokyo University." Working quickly, he changed the names between Urashima's test and that of Kodachi's.
Seeing his work done, he left; glad he wouldn't have to do this anymore.
"I do wonder if this is perhaps damaging that boy's confidence."
He shrugged. "Oh well, at least he doesn't have to worry about getting attacked for failing in some task."