Secret Service 14! Whoo!

I'm back, and after a long update time, I'm gonna write another half-assed, crappy story! Go me!

and for those interested, I'm available for MSN messenger, and if you like Diablo II, type in (while online) "/f add koer" or "/f add diet" without the brackets. Tis me!

Whoo! Christmas Special!

Link was asleep on December 25, at about 2 in the morning, dreaming of missile toes and all that crap. He woke up when he hear a noise on his roof top! "Skull Kid, are you sure this will work?" came a deep voice, "Of course this will work, Ganondorf! And keep your voice down! Link might hear us! He will pay for god dam pissing on my head!" come another voice, taking a sip of something. "Oh joy!" squealed Link in happiness, dancing around, "It must be Santa Clause and one of his beloved elves!"

Suddenly, Link's face went grim. "Oh crap. I think that he knows that I pissed on Skull Kid's head… … … and in his morning coffee ever since."

There was a spitting sound from up above.

"Dammit, Link!" came the 'elf's' voice. "Shut up, SK! Here, have my coffee, instead."

"… … … and Ganondorf's coffee, too." Link continued.

There was another spitting sound from the roof, "Dammit, Link! Second time, too!" said the voice.

Suddenly, there was a rumble, and Ganondorf, dressed badly as Santa, fell down from the chimney, as a rope coiled around him.

"Dammit, Skull Ki-" he said, looking at Link, "I mean, dammit, beloved elf!" He corrected, trying to look innocent.

"Er… Ho ho ho! Marry Christmas, Link!" He bellowed, as the pillow under his coat fell out.

"It's Santa Clause!" screamed Link, pouncing on him just as Santa-dorf shoved his pillow back into his coat.

"Santa! I've been a good boy this year! So… I want an Xbox 360, a PS3, a Nintendo Revolution, a new TV, a pony… but most of all, I want Skull kid to like the present I gave him." Said Link in one breath.

"Awww… I don't want to kill him anymore." Came Skull Kid's voice from the roof.

"Screw you, Sku- I mean, beloved elf… Imp… Whatever." Said Ganondorf in his regular voice. He then went back to his 'Santa' voice.

"Now, now, Link, um… there's a… light! Ya, a light. That'll do. Ahem! Now, there's a light on your Christmas tree that doesn't work, so, um, I have to take it back to my workshop to fix it, and I'll bring it right back." Said Ganondorf.

"But Santa," Link begun, "I have some spare bulbs right here in my hand." He held out his hand, revealing several small green and red lights.

"No you don't." Ganondorf said simply, grabbing the lights from Link's hand, and hucking them out the window.

"Ok." Said Link, as if he never did have any lights. "Can I come?" asked Link.

"I thought you'd never ask." Said Ganondorf.

Link grabbed onto Ganondorf's… arm, Ganondorf tugged on the rope, and Skull Kid pulled, yanking both of them up.

All three of them piled up on the mini-van with wings, and headed off to the North Pole.

"So… the plan is to leave him for dead at the north pole?"

asked Skull Kid.

"Nope, I plan to leave him in a trap." Said Ganondorf.

"Hey, Evil D Man, can we just skip ahead since you're too lazy to make this story?" asked Skull Kid.

Sure, I said.

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Now, Link was tied up, hanging from a loose rope, dangling over a pit of coccus.

"Now," said Ganondorf, pulling down on a lever, "I will now pull this lever, slowly lowering you into an easily escapable situation while I leave to make a sandwich. I'll see you in Hell!"

And Ganondorf walked away.

Suddenly, Santa Clause burst in, holding a bottle of Jack Danials, and freed Link! Yay!

"Hey!" slurred Santa, wobbling, drunkly, "Ganon! You've been naughty, so NO Chrastmis for you! Blah!" He then proceeded to throw up.

Ganondorf got mad, so he walked over to Santa, and gasp pushed him!

"Hey!" cried out Santa, walking up and facing Ganondorf, "YOU SPILTED MY BEER!" he screamed, smashing the bottle of Jack Danials over Ganondorf's head.

"Yay, Santa! You saved Chri-" started Link.

"Shut up! I'm drunk, and the lights are too loud! Dammit!" interrupted Santa Clause. "Here's your Xbox, Nintendo, and Sony crap, your pony, and here's a present that Skull Kid is sure to love." Said Santa, suddenly sober.

Then he passed out. Joy!

"Here, Skull Kid." Said Link, walking over to him, and handing him his present. "This is for you , merry Christmas."

"Awww… Thanks, Link! You shouldn't have…" Said Skull Kid, unwrapping his present. It's Majora's Mask! "How did you know?'

asked Skull Kid, holding up the game. "Wait a minute, this is the game! Not the mask! Oh well, I like it anyway. Thanks Link!"

"No problem, Skull Kid. So as Drunk Santa says," Link began,

"MERRY CHRASTMIS!" they both cried at the same time.

Sorry this is so crappy, but it's December 24, and I have a lot to do, so I whipped this up as fast as I could. I was originally going to have Link go all ninja on the ropes, free himself, and get the chickens to attack Ganondorf, but I thought a drunken Santa Clause would do the trick. Next chapter, we find out who the mysterious figure from chapter 13 is! Whooo….. (eary voice)

Next chapter up… later! Merry Chrastmis, everyone!