CHAPTER THREE
Three days later Ryan woke up, his mind no longer clouded. He was still in pain but forced himself to sit up and looked around. The attic was bigger than he'd realized. More like a walk up loft that no one had bothered to finish. Astrid's bed was empty but her bag lay nearby. There was a small window he hadn't noticed before. He could see the tops of the forest and guessed by the lighting that it was late afternoon.
Looking down he saw his chest was wrapped tightly with what looked like torn bedsheets. He became suddenly aware he was shirtless. Slowly he lifted the stained quilt to inspect the leg which growled with pain. It too was wrapped from calf to hip. His pants were missing. All he still wore were his boxers.
"Hey." Ryan turned to see Astrid coming up the stairs with a fresh bucket of water. She noticed a change in his mannerism. He was no longer groggy and spaced out. He no longer looked as confused. "You okay?" She asked when he didn't speak.
"Where are my clothes?" Ryan asked, his face slightly red.
Astrid walked to a bench he hadn't noticed in the corner. "I tried to wash them but..."
She held up his shirt and Ryan could clearly see the months of grime which refused to let go of the fabric. The dark remnants of a blood stain was new. As was the hole in the center of the stain.
"What happened to me?"
Astrid sucked in her breath and seated herself on the bench, refolding Ryan's shirt. "Well, when I found you, there was an arrow sticking out of your back..."
"An arrow!" Ryan gasped.
She nodded. "Yeah and another right through the leg, by the knee. You lost a lot of blood and I think you might have some broken ribs..." Ryan's hand went to his side as he was reminded of his discomfort there. "I was scared the arrow might have punctured your lungs but your breathing was all right so..."
"Did you take them out?"
Astrid nodded though the answer seemed like it should have been obvious. Ryan slowly reached his hand around his back but stopped just shy of making contact with the dressed wound.
"I gave you whiskey for the pain and used it to clean your wounds."
Astrid thought back to the day she found Ryan. She'd pulled him out of the clearing into the trees but realized she had to remove the arrows before continuing. Ryan had only been semi conscious as she poured some of the alcohol down his throat. Then she poured it on his wounds. He screamed when she pulled out the arrows and near passed out cold.
Astrid managed to stop the bleeding in his knee by tightly wrapping a rag around his thigh. Then she forced him to walk using her small body as a crutch. By the time they chanced upon the cabin she was ready to collapse in exhaustion. It was there in the attic that she was able to undress him and take care of his wounds properly. After he was settled, she'd searched the grounds and found the cabin to be an ideal hideout for the time being.
"Whiskey?" Ryan asked in disbelief.
"Yes." Astrid came out of her reverie'. "Not just for getting drunk. Don't you remember any of it?" Ryan shook his head and looked down. He still ached but didn't want to sleep anymore. "Are you hungry?" She asked.
"Yeah." He nodded realizing his stomach pangs were from hunger. "Yeah I am."
Eager to have something to do, Astrid set about making soup on the camping stove. Seeing her brought back memories of the mall. Ryan remembered the small stove they first used in the cafe. Back in the beginning, before they were a tribe.
"Astrid, what tribe are you from?" He realized he saw no recognizable tribal markings on her exposed skin.
"No tribe." Astrid stirred her soup.
"Did the Chosen destroy it?"
She shook her head. "I never had a tribe. I've always been a loner. Sometimes I spent a short while with a group here or there but I didn't belong to any of them. Well, I kinda belonged with the Chosen for a short while..."
"You were a Chosen?" Ryan narrowed his gray eyes.
Astrid looked at him slightly startled. "No no no. Not like that. I was never a dedicated member or anything. I mean when they took over it was join or die. A no brainer in my opinion. I thought they were crazy of course but they didn't have to know that. I never had to hurt anyone so it wasn't bad. And when stuff started to fall apart I ran away." Ryan was still staring at her as though he couldn't believe her confession. "What?" She looked back at him. "What would you have done if given the choice?"
"I was given the choice." Ryan frowned. "I said no. I lost my wife and I lost my kid. Why do you think I was in the mines?"
Astrid looked into her soup. "So you gave up the most important things in your life for what? Principle? Integrity? To make some sort of point?"
Ryan sighed. "What the Chosen wanted wasn't right. They wanted us to give ourselves up and be slaves to Zoot."
"So you refused to give up yourself and gave up your wife and child instead." She then looked into Ryan's eyes. "Was it worth it?"
For a moment he didn't answer obviously flustered. "You don't understand." He finally spat out. "She gave herself to them. She turned on the tribe. She dedicated our unborn baby to Zoot."
"And you didn't and got sent away."
"Yes."
"You're right." Astrid shook her head. "I don't understand. I don't know what principle is more important than family. I mean so what if the Chosen wanted you to bow down to a dead kid. So what if they made you denounce your tribe. If you had joined, you'd still be with her and your baby. Instead you stick to your principles and get sent to live underground. Meanwhile, she's alone and you got no chance of ever seeing your kid."
Ryan frowned at the thought and narrowed his eyes at Astrid. "So what are you saying? That I shoulda joined just cause you did? That I was wrong for standing up for what I believe in?"
She shook her head. "I had my reasons for joining the Chosen. But you, you had the best reasons for joining. Your wife and kid. No one could call you a cop out for choosing them."
Ryan looked away from her an stared out the window. He didn't like what she was saying. He felt as though she was suggesting that he'd given up his family on a whim. It was as though she though he was heartless and uncaring. He hated how her words make him question what he had considered to be a righteous decision. Mostly he didn't like feeling as though maybe she were right.