Angel hadn't had any intentions to stay through the night. Hell, he hadn't planned to stay any longer than it would take to get the groceries and other supplies he'd bought for her into the house and set up but when she asked him to stay, there wasn't anything in the world that could make him deny her simple request.

So, instead of heading back to his apartment in Los Angeles, he helped clean up the house a little alongside her, made a few calls, and wound up ordering them a few pizzas and other small side items out to the house. After the day they'd had, pizza sounded pretty damn good.

They'd just finished setting the dining room up when the knock at the door came.

After their meal he began to clean up, Buffy insisting to help. He tried to shoo her away knowing that doing dishes was her least favorite chore but she didn't budge on the subject. Dinner had mostly been quiet, and it wasn't much different while they rinse the dishes and put them into the dishwasher as well as put the leftover food into the fridge.

Angel wasn't sure what to do after that. Being around Buffy was always a bit of a challenge but now they were back in the home the two of them shared for the majority of their relationship, memories flooding him at every turn.

She'd done most of the painting but he and Xander had worked on the new floors, he'd designed some of the built-in features she had expressed wanting and helped to install those. Buffy had been mostly in charge of picking out home furnishings but he'd come along and helped a few times, but mostly had been the one to move it-then move it again and again until she figured out just where she wanted everything to go. His belongings, new and old, had their places here once, too. When he moved out he had taken very little of "their" items with him.

Beyond that, there were photographs of them still up on the walls or on shelves, albums tucked away in the drawers of an end table, rows of home videos of different events along a few shelves of one of the bookcases.

And of course there were the memories… the good, the bad, and the everything in between. He was reminded of the first time Buffy ever invited him here on last through to the last time he thought he would have ever walked out of that front door.

He was doing his best to keep the front up, but it wasn't easy being back in this house. The pain was raw, scratching at him endlessly.

The first time he had seen her cry was in this house, and he could still feel his thumbs on her face as he wiped away her salty, hot tears and rocked her in his arms. He had carried her over the threshold as man and wife after saying their vows.

He'd nearly died laughing in the foyer when a small blue bird had gotten in the house and she was in a full blown panic as she screamed and ducked anytime it moved. He'd chased her up and down those stairs, all throughout the house many times when they were being extra playful with one another.

The sitting room would be turned into a full blown Christmas area once the holidays rolled around. Willow had given her approval of him on the old couch there in the living room.

He'd tried a new recipe for fried shrimp she'd asked him to check out that had gone horribly wrong in the kitchen.

He'd taken care of her in the bathroom when she'd come down with the flu one year and nearly set up camp in there in the process. It was all still with him. They'd been in love living in this house, they'd made beautiful memories. And some not so beautiful ones, too.

They had laughed, shared, cried, argued and everything in between here.

A good part of their falling apart and coming undone happened right here as well. She'd thrown multiple items at him in the kitchen, in the bedroom. Screamed at him in every single room.

He'd begged and pleaded for her to just listen to him in the doorway of their bedroom before the first time she laid her hands on him in any violent way, slapping him so hard his face kept the handprint she'd left for quite awhile.

She'd told him she hated him and never wanted to see him again from the middle of that staircase.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing important," he lied. Neither of them missed the tiny hitch in his voice he hadn't been able to suppress though.

"I know it can't be easy on you being here," she said softly, her head looking down. "I am glad you stayed, though."

He shrugged, looking away when her head started to lift.

OoOoO

It had taken a little bit of time, and a few glasses of wine, to get conversation flowing easily. Buffy stuck to her non-alcoholic sparkling juice but had offered Angel some of the dark red liquid. He'd turned such down at dinner but relented during their talk. She was happy for it, too as he seemed to relax a little afterward.

He started to share a few stories and memories with her as well as answering some questions she came up with along the way to ask. Angel made her blush and laugh, and there was that swarm of butterflies that would stir up when he looked at her a certain way she couldn't seem to shake.

Finishing off the glass of wine in his hand, Angel started to stand up. "I think it's later than I expected it to be. If it's alright with you, I'm going to go on upstairs to use the shower and then probably head on to bed."

Honestly, she didn't want the night to end but she was feeling a bit worn out her own self after their long day. "That'd be fine, Angel," she told him. "I told you earlier to just make yourself at home."

The words were awkward though and they both knew it. This had been his home. Their home.

Buffy was sure he didn't exactly want to be here given the inner turmoil he must be facing but still... selfishly she wanted him near her.

Angel nodded. "Okay, well, I guess I will see you in the morning, Buffy. I hope you have a goodnight. I'll be just down the hall if you need me."

She watched him turn start toward the stairs and called out. "A-Angel?"

He stopped and turned to look at her.

Buffy stood, walking through the living room and into the foyer as she tried to push her nerves down and shut her overthinking brain up. In a matter of minutes she would be cursing her mouth for not listening to the music wiser brain, but she wasn't there yet. "I-if you could change o-one thing about us... what would it be?"

He sighed, his hand gripping the bottom curve of the stairwell. "If I could change one thing, I would change the fact that we ever ended."

The way he said that and the look in his eye that he was doing his damndest to hide had her heart rate picking up. "W-well, that's a given, r-right?"

His head barely shook. "I don't mean it like that," he said softly. "I could say that if I could go back in time I would have not taken the promotion if that was what you wanted or even as just a precaution. Or that I would have refused to work as many hours. I could have sent Darla and her father packing the second their feet touched Wolfram and Hart floors, listened to you about her earlier, not been there that particular night. I could say I'd go back to when you told me to leave just so I could do something differently, to the night I found out about you and Riley so I wouldn't say the things that I did, never filed for divorce or anything after that. While I wish all or any of that were possible, if I had but one choice, one chance to change it... my answer would be that I would change we ever ended. Because all of that... it could have still happened but it still shouldn't have ended. We shouldn't be over, Buffy."

"Y-you f-feel that even n-now?" she dared to ask.

His fingers reached out to her face, brushing a loose strand of hair out of her face. His lips gave a sad smile. "Yes," he answered. Buffy felt the world wanting to spin as he elaborated on his answer. "On both sides of the coin to that, too. Looking back, even with the absolute hell we put each other through I say it was nothing more than a mistake for us to give up on everything we had. We should have worked things out. And even now, hell, standing here right now in front of you I wish that things weren't over."

Before she could squeak a single word out, he gave her a thoughtful look before retracting his hand slowly and began making his way upstairs. Putting a hand to her chest, Buffy closed her eyes. Her chest felt very tight, almost to the point of passing out.

She hurried to take a seat on the bottom step and folded her hands into her lap and pressed her knees up to her chest.

OoOoO

Angel stood naked in front of the sink while the shower warmed up, tears dabbing at the corners of his eyes. Wiping them, he let out a long breath. He had a very miniscule buzz from the wine, just enough to make him a little fuzzy up there.

It was almost nice actually, hknew he could blame his earlier words on the wine, but he also knew that wouldn't really be truthful, it was a combination of many things that made his mouth do such stupid things. Missing her, finding out about the accident, those agonizing weeks she was still unconscious, the weeks that followed after she'd waken. It was being around her again, talking with her, seeing her smile and laugh... how she made him feel, the rip-your-heart-out pain through to the beat-your-heart-out lust.

Bringing up old memories of the better and worse times. Being back in this house. Just all of it had his head and heart all the more screwed up.

He couldn't seem to stop himself when she'd asked him that question., to tell her in a small way that he still wanted her. He knew it was stupid, pointless, but in that moment he'd wanted her to know.

Stepping into the shower, Angel let his head rest against the side of the sidewall as the water fell over him.

OoOoO

"This was a very stupid idea," Buffy muttered to herself.

This was not the kind of weather someone should be out in, let alone driving in. And that was something that could easily be said a few thousand times over when it came to her.

She had never really wanted to learn to drive but Angel had eventually talked her into it "just in case" she ever had an emergency or something come up. ''Funny,' her mind spat out.

She'd rarely used her knowledge of driving, it only coming into place once they had split and it'd been hard for her to get anywhere any other way. So there was that.

And then you add in the freezing cold weather, the freezing rain and slick roads.

Yeah. This really wasn't a good idea.

Seeing her third car start to slide in the the past thirty minutes, Buffy decided she would turn around as soon as she somewhere to do so at. There was no way she was driving back home tonight but hoped she could find a hotel to crash in not too far off.

"It's not like he's going anywhere," she said out loud to herself. But her mind had that flicker of panic of what if he wasn't.

Buffy had done her damndest to keep herself separated from anything related to her ex-husband. They hadn't talked or seen one another in about five months now, she hadn't been given any indication that he was doing anything to check up after her as she'd asked of him and there was only one person she'd spoken to that was close to him.

So yes, as far as she knew he wasn't seeing anyone. Lindsey had told her he wasn't, that he was still hung up on her and didn't balk at adding how he believed Angel always would be. But that could all change in an instant.

The way fate had been working against them, he'd probably choose tonight to go fall in love with someone else.

Buffy sighed, her hand roughly brushing through her hair. She turned the radio up, hoping it would get her mind to shut the hell up and kept looking for signs that she could pull off this death trap of a road soon.

Thinking how maybe she could calm down, gather up her bearings, maybe think of the exact words she wanted to say instead of hoping for the best once she got there.

She felt relieved as she saw the lodging sign ahead... but that feeling came and went in the matter of seconds. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw the large truck heading right for her. And she screamed as it hit, her car began to slide, and was just about to find herself smashed into a second one in front of her.

OoOoO

"Buffy!" someone was shouting, but they sounded so far away and muffled. "Buffy!" came again and someone's arms were on her, shaking her.

She started to leave the darkness behind. Buffy opened her eyes and sat up quickly in the bed. She could feel her body shaking and slightly damp from sweat. "A-Angel?"

He stood before her looking concerned, his arms just below her shoulders on her arms holding her firmly. He wasn't wearing a shirt. "Buffy? Are you okay?" he asked her. "You sounded like you were having a nightmare. You were screaming."

"I-I was?" she asked, rubbing at her face. She still felt the terror coursing through her veins from starting to remember the crash. "S-sorry." Buffy bunched herself up into a ball, holding her pillow and blanket close to her.

He yawned then sat down beside her, one hand coming out to lay on her leg. "You want to talk about it?" he asked gently.

"I-I was remembering t-the accident. A-actually, it was more of the lead up to it, I guess. But I was in the car, worried with the o-other cars a-and the rain. I was going to p-pull over for the ni-night," she told him, nearly seeing it as clearly as she did in her dream as she spoke. "Tha-that's when it happened. Or, at least started to. I remembered watching... unable to do anything... as the first truck hit and we began to slip. I was t-trying to stay calm... but when our speed picked up and there was another truck in front of me... I knew s-something bad was going to happen. I don't re-remember anything after that... just being terrified as I was about to get stuck be-between the t-two."

The next thing Buffy knew, Angel had his arms wrapped around her, cuddling her close to him. She closed her eyes, breathing the fresh smell of him in, enjoying the warmth of his hard body. He whispered comforting words in her ear and rubbed her back as she got comfortable against him.

"I thought I was going to die," Buffy whispered after a brief period of silence. "I-I wasn't ready."

Angel's head bent down, kissing the top of her head and smoothing down her hair. "You're alright now, Buffy," he whispered. "You're safe here."

"I feel safe with you," she said in a rush.

He sighed but said nothing more, just held her. She was about to fall back asleep when he started to move her, laying her back down and covering her up. She knew he'd go back to his room and she knew that she didn't want him to.

"Angel?"

"Hmm?"

"W-would you stay with me? Please?"

He hesitated. "Buf, that's probably not the best idea."

"Please?" she repeated, starting to sit up.

Another sigh.

He rubbed his large hands down his handsome, tired face. "Yeah. Okay. Just give me a minute." And with that he walked out of the room. She heard him go into the bathroom and a few minutes later come back out. Soon he was returning to her room with a blanket and pillow in his arms.

"Y-you don't have to do that," she said as she watched him set up a make-shift bed on the floor.

"I really do," he whispered. "Go back to sleep, love. I'll be right here."

Buffy watched him move around some until he was comfortable, then shifted her own body into a better position. She wanted to crawl right down into the floor with him and pretzel herself against him but resisted the urge-just barely. Her eyes began to grow heavy and soon she was back asleep. This time, it was a nightmare free slumber.

OoOoO

Over the weekend Angel continued to help her get settled in. He'd both given her a credit card of his own and told her to use it if she needed and placed a large sum in her own bank account that she still had set up there in town. She had to order a replacement card with them but they gave her no hassle with the process.

He made sure her house was stocked with any supplies one could think of, all of her bills were taken care of for the time being and in order. She wasn't going to getting behind the wheel of any car anytime soon but Sunnydale wasn't that big but he had told her there were a number of people around who'd help her if she needed.

One of those was one of their next door neighbors, Robin Wood, who had stopped by to see how she was. She didn't know him as he was fairly new in town but he and Angel seemed to get along, plus she found out he was the new principal of the high school.

Another neighbor, Gwendolyn Post, she somewhat remembered had brought over a baked pie for her and told her she'd be happy to help with anything she needed as well.

Angel made sure to give her any numbers and addresses he could think she would need. From hospitals to restaurants, her friends' contact information as well as his own. It was all in preparation of him leaving. She knew he had a job, his own place, his own life that he needed to get back to, he'd been away from it for weeks on end since her world got turned all upside down and he couldn't very well just babysit her all day until she remembered who she was, but that didn't mean she was ready for it either.

He promised to come back on his days off, if she wanted, but that didn't seem like enough.

Buffy had several more memories hit her over the weekend. Nothing major, just small moments that came and went.. Like she had been able to remember meeting Tara the first time, and who had come with Willow as promised to visit her the second trip the redhead had taken to come see her. She remembered having a big party with her friends in the backyard, being bored out of her mind while watching some movie and deciding to just turn over and fall asleep on the couch on top of Angel. Giles singing in some small coffee shop and leaving her speechless... Just small, random things that came to mind... usually just out of the blue.

Sitting on the couch, Buffy looked down at her hands, picking at the nail polish she'd put on. "What do you think's going to happen if or when I do get my memories back? I mean, most if not all of them?"

Angel walked into the room, taking a seat in the armchair closest to her. "I honestly don't know but my guess would be there will be a lot of yelling and cursing to come my way," he said. His voice gave him away but his face attempted to smirk. "And after that... I don't know. I guess you'll figure out what you're going to do next. Stay here or find somewhere else to head off to, get a new job or an old one back... I don't know."

She let out a shaky breath. "You really think things will go back to the way they were with us? That we will wind up having some big fight then just walk away and be back out of each other's lives again?"

"Yeah," he said slowly, "I do."

She wanted to cry. That couldn't happen, could it?

Looking up, she said, "W-what if that's not... I don't th-think I want to remember if that's the case, Angel."

He sighed. "I can't say I haven't had that same type of thought cross my mind," he admitted. "But I can't honestly wish that on you either. You deserve to have those memories, to be complete up there. The good and the bad memories, those events, big or small... they all made you who you are."

She wished she had the right words to say to make him understand. She didn't want to lose him, she didn't want her angry old self to come along and ruin whatever was happening to this version of herself.

"We had our reasons for splitting up, Buffy. You had your reasons to feel the way that you did."

"Wrong reasons!" she countered.

"Maybe. But they were there, whether you remember right now or not. And you have a right to remember that and to feel that way. It isn't fair for you not to have the whole story to this, to know your side of it all."

How could she explain she was falling in love with him and didn't want to remember whatever had happened before if it meant they just went back to all that hate and anger, sadness and giving up on everything? That right now, to her anyway, none of it seemed to matter.

She didn't have the past… that past, only these past several weeks with him. And that was her reality right now and all she knew right now.

There was also how fast and deep those emotions seemed to grab hold of her when it came to him, but it wasn't like the very thing hadn't happened before so it wasn't like it was that much of a stretch there.

Angel started to stand. "I should start heading out. I have work in the morning." She knew he'd already packed what little things he'd brought into the house and put them back in his car.

"Angel," she whispered... not knowing what else to say.

In a move she hadn't expected, he walked over, stood before her and helped her to her feet. Those strong arms gathered her up, hugging her to him. "I have missed you every single day that you have been gone, Buffy. Hell, I miss you right now. And if I could go back, or even make things different now or down the road somewhere... without question I would."

"I don't want you to go," she whispered into his chest.

"I know, Baby," he told her, kissing the crown of her head. The two of them just stood there in one another's arms for what felt like a lifetime. "I gotta go," he finally said and began removing himself from her. "I'll be back in a couple of days or if you need me I will be here whenever. You can call or text or whatever whenever you want."

Buffy nodded but felt tears welling up on her again. She followed behind him as he grabbed his coat and slipped it on and reached for the door. Angel turned around, reaching for her next. She knew she wasn't making this easy on him but couldn't seem to help it.

"Are you going to be alright?" he asked her softly.

'No' she wanted to scream, but instead she nodded her head.

Angel used his thumb to tilt her head up so he could look at her. She saw a complete mix of emotions swarming around in those dark eyes of his as he looked at her. Not giving him time to think better of it, Buffy stood on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him to her lips. She felt him tense up, then give in, returning the kiss.

He felt like heaven.

When he pulled away, he gave her one last look before turning around and started to make his way to his car without saying anything else. She stood in the doorway as he climbed inside, gave her a hard look and started pulling away, and even remained right there in the same spot long after he had disappeared from sight.