Her staring woke him up., Angel blinked his eyes a couple of times, trying to get his head on straight. Memories from just a couple of hours ago came rushing back to him as he started to sit up.

"Hey," he said softly, his voice was still a bit groggy from sleep. "You okay?" Buffy nodded, though it looked like she was a little embarrassed. "You sure?" he asked before yawning. "What's on your mind?"

"I-it's stupid. And nothing. Really."

Angel yawned again, his hand reaching over to the lamp beside the bed and switched it on. The two of them were still naked, barely covered up in her light yellow sheets, with the light now on he could make the shape of her body out all the more better underneath the thin cotton. He felt a stirring of need as his eye lingered a little too long. "What are you thinking? You can tell me."

Buffy was quiet at first then she sighed, looking away. "I don't know. I was just... I was wondering... about... uh, earlier. W-was that just because of Riley showing up? Just the past with everything? Y-you trying to prove a point o-or something?"

Angel's head tilted to the side. "No," he answered her. "I wanted you, Buffy. I have wanted you. Did I get upset about seeing Finn at the door all of a sudden? Absolutely. But it went well beyond that…"

"You sure?"

"Yes, I am very sure about that. I have been trying to keep my emotions in check around you and pretty much been failing for some time now, little by little. We are in one hell of a complicated situation with our past and then the accident and where we would be standing had you not lost those memories and where we are at now that you did... just all of it. And I have been trying to do the right thing and not make this any more complicated. I wanted to be there for you and help you get things sorted out and just wait for the other shoe to drop I guess. But it wasn't as simple as that once I was in it."

Buffy's head looked down, her nails picking at one another in her lap.

Angel sighed, letting his head fall back against the headboard. "It's not an easy place to be in. I fell in love with you over five years ago, Buffy. And despite all the fighting we did and all of the shit that went down between us, that hasn't changed. We fought, separated, got divorced but that didn't stop my feelings for you," he told her. "I have loved you every single day since I met you, missed you every day you've been gone. But I was doing my best to accept things the way that they were and to just leave you alone like you asked and try my best to get on with life. Then... I get the phone call that you've been in an accident. And I felt like the world was sinking underneath my feet. I went out there, I talked to your doctors, saw you and I was a disaster. I didn't know if you were going to be okay, there wasn't much of anything I could do, and I just kept wishing to hell and back that I could change things with us. I was all over the place those couple of weeks while you were still out. One second I was just plain freaking out over the what if's, the next stupidly coming up with some plan of something to say to change your mind once you did wake up, then the next trying to prepare myself for what was most likely going to happen. That you'd wake up and all hell would break loose, you'd go off and push everything that had bubble back up right back down, I would tuck my tail between my legs and go."

"But then I woke up... and I didn't remember any of it?"

Angel nodded. "I didn't have any preparation for that. I came in and they went and told me that, said to go on into your room all pretty much in the same breath. And thank God you were asleep because I didn't know what I was supposed to do. And you started to wake up after awhile and I just shut down. I forced myself to calm down and bite everything else back, put myself in neutral and tested the waters." Angel paused for a moment. "I was expecting life to just go back to normal. You'd send me packing, I'd take my broke heart and leave once I knew you were alright, and that'd be that. But then you didn't remember anything. You lost the past like six years of your life, didn't remember me. Us being together or falling apart, the good or the bad. And that was just a disaster waiting to happen."

"How so?" Buffy asked, turning back to look at him.

"You woke up with amnesia and not in the best shape otherwise. You were states away from the only real place you knew, away from everyone you knew, having all this shit dumped on you. There was no way in hell I was going to be able to just leave you like that there. I didn't want you there alone, I wanted to make sure you were being taken care of, and honestly I'm the person who knew you best on top of that so I was sort of the best bet on getting your memory back anyway. I was in a situation with work where I could take the time off and handle everything... so I did. But it's not easy being around you, rehashing the past that you don't remember but I do, waiting for the shit to hit the fan once you do get those memories back, wanting to just say fuck the past here we are right now and lay it all on the line just as things are, but at the same time knowing how unfair that would be to you. You deserve your memories, Buf. And I want you to have them. I just... I want you to want me with them, too. But it's hard because I know that won't happen, and then I'm here and I'm around you, and you look at me in the way you do and I just want to give in and have what I want despite knowing better. I want to spend time with you, Buffy. I want to be here, do things with you, go places, I want to hold your hand, kiss you, touch you, sleep next to you. I want to say fuck everything else most of the time and just get lost in you, have everything that I want back again for a little while and deal with the consequences later, but I was trying not to do that. Thursday night I just got swept up in everything and I didn't want to fight it. I swore I wouldn't let it go further than that afterward but then I wake up and Riley's banging on the damn door. And I just..." he trailed off.

"I didn't know he was going to be here," Buffy said softly.

"I know." She'd told him that several times yesterday in text messages, messages she'd left and when they actually spoke on the phone before he'd come over. "But he was here and I kind of lost it. So I needed to leave before history entirely played itself out again. And I was angry and jealous. I was mad over the fact that we ended, over remembering the last time you and Riley were shacked up and hell broke loose with us, how it set the next several steps we took to dissolve what was left of our relationship. I was mad about everything. About Darla and her bullshit, us splitting up, you being with someone else, just everything."

"W-why did you come back?"

"You asked me to. And... And I wanted to. I wanted you and I was tired of doing the right thing. I was on an emotional roller coaster and I just needed you. It was about jealousy to a point, I can't deny that. It was also a build up of a long time of you being gone and me missing you. It was me being in love with you and wanting to act on that, to show you, to... I don't know."

"D-do you regret it?"

Angel's head shook. "Maybe I should but I don't. This probably wouldn't have happened last night or even ever if Riley hadn't been that large shove to come along and I should be more upset with myself for taking advantage of you not having the whole story with us or whatever but... I don't regret doing it. This is exactly where I have wanted to be, being with you is exactly what I have been wanting to do and that selfish part of me could not have been happier. Do you?"

Buffy quickly shook her head. "I am pretty sure this is exactly what I have wanted since laying eyes on you and that has only grown in the short time of 'knowing' you, so no. I just wish it wasn't so complicated."

"I know."

The two were quiet for a short time though Buffy scooted closer, cuddling up to him. His hands played in her hair, rubbed down her back. "A-Angel?"

"Hmm?"

"T-this is going to sound c-crazy... but... a-are your f-feelings... are they just for... you know, me... with the memory and the past we had or..."

Angel cut her off, leaning down to kiss her gently. "There's no you or her type situation for me, Buf. I understand for you it must seem that way at times but it's not. You're just you, Buffy. Memory or not. You're the same girl who played a battle of wits with me in front of a paced classroom, who wanted to have picnics in different cemeteries around town, who tried to show off her French skills after meeting my cousin Jack's new wife and wound up calling her some dirty name on accident. You're still the girl I fell in love with, the bride who stood before everyone we know and love and promised forever to, the wife who gave me the best years of my life. That's still who you are, you just don't remember it, simple as that from my side of things when it comes to this. You're still the one who broke my heart, who I've missed every day. There is no 'Present You' or 'Memory You', just you."

OoOoO

Buffy didn't argue when Angel offered to go downstairs and get them something to eat, not having really eaten anything all day and then the stress and worrying and then their earlier activities had left her rather famished.

He threw on his boxers and headed down first while she wrapped herself up in the sheet and used the bathroom before going back to the bedroom and decided to put his shirt and her panties on before going down to join him.

Buffy let out a happy yelping noise when Angel saw her, lifted her up and sat her on the island counter. "Don't you have food to be making me?" she asked, letting her arms wrap around his neck.

"Just warming things up," he said with a wink then nodded to where he had the oven pre-heating and the two pizzas laid out in waiting.

"Uh huh."

"Mmhmm," he replied against her neck. Her head fell back as he suckled her skin into his mouth, his hands sliding from her knees until they were under the shirt. She arched into him as his hands cupped her breasts, squeezing her thighs together as he twisted her hardened tips with his talented fingers.

The two of them had tried to answer the "Where do we go from here?" question but really hadn't come up with a real answer or plan, but they could both agree on the fact they couldn't just ignore what had happened or what was going on between them either. And Buffy knew she sure wasn't going to be complaining about what he was doing to her right now.

Buffy groaned when he pulled away, watching as he went to go put the frozen pizzas in the oven. He fiddled with his phone to set the timer before coming back over to her. "You have to leave in a couple of hours don't you?" she asked, pulling him closer.

He nodded. "Have a presentation to go to this morning. Plus have to stop off at home to change and whatever. Willow's supposed to be coming down for the weekend though, isn't she?"

Buffy nodded. "Yeah, she said they'd be here around noon or so."

"At least you won't be alone," he offered, his hands sliding under the shirt and rubbing at her back.

"Yeah... it should be fun. We have a few things mapped out to go do and it feels like it's been forever since the last time I saw her and Tara so it should be fun. Wish you could stay, though. Which I am sure you will now offer to do or something but at some point you do have work at a regular rate."

He chuckled, kissing at her temple. "This is true. I'd say I'd come back Sunday but I don't want to intrude on your girl time either. I'll be back in a few days though."

That still felt like a really long time.

Their twenty minute wait time was spent talking, making out a little and finally setting the table. They made a fruit and vegetable platter and got their drinks out to go along with the freshly cooked pizza, not really feeling up to making anything else at this early hour.

They didn't spend too much time in the kitchen though as Angel had the idea to move them into the living room and asked her if she wanted to watch some of the home videos they had. She'd completely forgotten about them so was happy to agree to that, going over and browsing through the titles written on them until she found something that sounded interesting enough.

They'd put together several events together on most of the discs so that was helpful not having so many to go through and keep switching out. Mentally, Buffy added watching a few more of these on to her list for the weekend.

The disc she put in for them to watch while they ate had several of their friends' weddings on them. Together they watched Tara and Willow's ceremony, Cordelia and Xander's very beautiful wedding, Giles and Jenny's. She had a smile on her face the entire time as she watched. They were all so different but very beautiful, she could see how happy everyone was. That included her. She and Angel were together on the videos and it was a little surreal to watch the two of them interact on the screen. It wasn't hard to tell they'd been happily in love once.

Buffy had seen the videos for her and Angel's wedding and their reception but she was going to put that off for right now. It seemed like it would be a little too much to try watching it with him. But she was dying to see it. Being told about it and seeing the pictures weren't enough.

Angel cleaned up while she finished watching then went to go see if he needed any help. Instead, she found herself lifted and placed right back on the counter top to the island.

"You know, you look sexy as hell in my shirt," Angel told her before taking her lips with his own.

"I think you pull it off better."

Angel shook his head, kissing down her neck. "Not even possible."

Buffy blushed, holding on to him a little tighter when he moved her slightly and came to stand closer there between her legs.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Mmhmm."

Angel pulled back then to look at her. "Did you really think I only slept with you because I was pissed off about Finn being here?"

She was silent for a moment then shrugged. "Not really, but I worried that it could have been. You're just so unreadable most of the time and only seen that shell crack a few good times so I don't know. Then I remembered about me deciding to get back together with him after we had started to split up and all of that craziness and I guess it was just weighing on me."

His eyes narrowed. "You remembered about Riley?"

Buffy nodded. "Yeah. About deciding to use him to try and get back at you in my angered state, a few dates we went on, that last one where you showed up guns blazing... Lots of anger and yelling, Riley getting punched in the face, coming back here..."

Angel set his jaw at that. "You remember us fighting back here?"

Buffy looked down as she nodded again. The words he'd flung at her still stung a little even now, and she felt sick at the ones she herself had thrown out.

Angel sighed, gathering her up in his arms. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm sorry that night even happened and I said what I did. I told you before I didn't mean it, any of it. I got a little too hot headed and was fuming over you being with him and I lashed out like some bratty seven year old. I've hated myself over that night since."

"I wasn't exactly handling the situation any better than you. I put us in that mess."

Angel tilted her chin up and looked her in the eyes. "I am sorry. I didn't mean a word of it, Buffy."

She tried to smile. "I know. I didn't either, for the most part, at the time some of it was ringing true but that would change over time."

They were both silent for a long time, Angel leaning his head down on her shoulder.

"He said he was here for the night and had heard about my accident, that's why he was here. I apologized for the way I used him after everything hit me and that was about it. I do feel awful for what I did there, to him and to you. It was stupid. All of it."

OoOoO

Angel had never been the best with words when it came to the romantic side of things. He had no issue telling Buffy he loved her, what he thought, how beautiful she was, what he wanted with her... but it was always pretty straight forward. He relied more on action to express himself and his feelings., that being sexually, just being affectionate daily in small ways, planning romantic evenings together, doing some big gesture or whatever else. He was much better at that. So before he knew he had to leave, Angel wanted to make sure Buffy wasn't confused about his intentions from the hours before or the previous night.

And he sure didn't want to be thinking about Riley Finn any longer either. Or have her doing so.

Buffy's hands were spread out against the granite, fingers holding tightly to the edge as his own hands rubbed up and down her bare legs. She shivered slightly every time his fingers would brush onto her thighs, creeping under the hem of his shirt she wore.

Hooking a thumb into her panties, Angel moved them to the side so he could slide a finger inside of her. They both groaned at the contact, more when he added a second.

He found her already wet and dripping, ready for him. "Fuck," Buffy moaned, her hips moving against his hand. "That f-feels s-so good."

Angel guided the flimsy cotton and lace underwear off of his beautiful blonde until they hit the floor. "I want you," he said softly.

Buffy blushed a little at his confession but she grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him to her, giving him a hard kiss. His hands went to her hips, helping to angle her a bit better before he began to slip the condom he'd grabbed from the box on.

"Fuck," Angel ground out, sliding into her wet heat. Buffy's fingernails were marking half moons into his shoulder blades and her legs squeezing him with all their might. "I've missed you," he whispered, his head in the crook of her neck.

OoOoO

Angel pulled the shirt off of her after switching their position, her body now straddling his. As she lowered down onto him she was pretty sure she could see stars, but something about being in this position made her feel a little uneasy.

It felt great, she just wasn't used to it and worried about doing something wrong.

Angel seemed to pick up on that and smiled up at her. His smooth voice guided her as much as his hands did and soon she was too caught up in what was happening to worry any more about it.

"A-Angel," she said, her body shaking. "I-I n-need..." 'Something' her brain finished. She didn't know what but she needed something.

Angel smirked, lifting her up a moment later. Her legs wrapped around him as he began thrusting slowly into her as he carried her like this until she was against the far wall of the kitchen. His head bent and he took one of her nipples into his mouth.

"You're so beautiful, you know that?" he whispered, his eyes and hands admiring her.

Her eyes rolled back as his pace increased and one of his hands snaked down to tease her clit. The other arm of his was doing its best to keep her still and Buffy began to assume that she had a thing for being held down and he happened to be well aware of that. Her bottom and back would bang against the wall with his every hard thrust and soon Buffy found herself biting her bottom lip and spasms taking her over.

His fingers gave her throbbing pearl one last pinch and she screamed out his name, her legs shaking so much she couldn't even feel them anymore. Angel laughed as they pretty much turned into dead weight, but only for a moment., he held on to her, pumping furiously until he reached his own release.

OoOoO

Unable to hold them up any longer, Angel slipped to the ground, Buffy tangling up with him as they went. Both of their breathing was ragged and he could still feel her shaking and twitching.

It wasn't long before his phone started going off and he knew that was his alarm telling him he needed to get a move on if he was going to get back to LA in time.

He didn't want to move at all, let alone leave her here again for the next few days. Not in the first place, not after being with her like this. He'd already gone half-crazy the last time and every other time they were split up for a few days then he went and lost his shit yesterday and wasted that time they should have had together.

In the end, he knew he needed to go, though. He took his sweet time picking himself up off her floor, kissing her, then going to gather his things. "You know I'll stay if you want me to," he told her, spotting her in the door frame.

Buffy smiled. "I know," she said softly. "But we already discussed that. As much as I do want you here, life has to go on all the same. It will suck, but maybe it won't be so bad with Willow here this time."

"Maybe for you then," he said with a smirk her way.

The two teased as he got ready, then the seriousness crept in, and finally the sadness. "Can you call me when you get back?" she asked, her head buried in his chest.

"Yeah, I can do that," he told her softly, kissing the top of her hair. He nearly lost it when she lifted her head and there were tears in her eyes. "Hey, baby don't cry please."

"I'm sorry. I just hate when you leave and when you're gone."

Angel leaned down to kiss her. "I hate it, too, baby." Angel took in a deep breath. "I love you."

This made her tears fall harder. "I love you, too," she whispered.

Angel closed his eyes, his heart bursting with happiness and ripping into pieces at the same time. As much as he dreaded walking out that door and knowing the next few days would be hell without her around, he knew none of that was going to compare to the hell he was going to be facing soon enough when she was made whole again.