Angel had the sliding door to the balcony open as he looked out at the lights of the city. With a sigh, he flicked away the fourth cigarette he'd burned through tonight, he could count the number of times he had smoked on less fingers than he had but after all the shit of today, it was needed.

Just a few seconds later, he felt Buffy's small, familiar body press up against his back, her arms circling around him from behind. "You're mad," he heard her heavy-with-sleep voice say and he closed his eyes.

She knew him too well sometimes.

"Yes," he answered, after taking a deep breath. He was well beyond that actually, he heard her sigh but nothing followed it.

He was angrier than he'd ever been at himself for the mess they were in, for everything with Darla, for not straightening things out with them well before it all got out of control. He wasn't angry at her by any means for what had happened to her, but he would be lying if he said he wasn't upset that she hadn't told him before.

He had a fury in him he'd never experienced over finding everything out about what had happened to her that damn night, wishing he could bring William Pratt's useless corpse back to life just so he could put him right back in the ground. He wanted to hunt Darla down and make her pay if she had a single thing to do with what her brother had done... and honestly, even a little part of that was there even if she hadn't and just on damn principle alone.

He was angry for everything they lost because of it all... those two years they spent fighting, living apart, breaking up, separating, going through the divorce, calling it full quits at the time... they lost that time being together and working things out and being everything they were meant to be.

They should have been making a life together, memories together... not the shit they went through instead. They should have a family now, a little toddler boy or girl running around. Not this. And Angel told her as much.

"I know," she whispered into his back.

His whole body ached, inside and out. Hs eyes hurt from tears he had shed, and from ones he hadn't, his head hurt from all the damn thoughts he couldn't stop from running through one after the other.

His heart hurt for what had happened to the woman he loved. His entire damn chest hurt from the sucking wound of knowing how everything could have been and what they lost.

He had always thought there was more to the story, there had to be with how she had been behaving, but he never in a million years would have thought this. Just wanting to be out of the marriage and using the shit with Darla as an excuse? Sure. Maybe her having had an affair and turning cover on him? Sure. There being more to the story, more Darla might have done or said that he wasn't aware of? Sure. But this? Never. Never had his mind gone anywhere near this.

They just stood there in silence for a long time, Buffy hugging close to him from behind. He sighed, letting his hands hold over hers across his stomach. "You're still wearing your ring," she said when he did that. He knew she'd noticed long before this moment, but she hadn't questioned it or even brought it up once.

Angel's thumb instinctively went to the wedding ring, rubbing the band. "I've never taken it off," he told her softly, closing his eyes. He heard her sigh, felt her head switch from one cheek to the other to be pressing against his back. "Do you remember what I told you about these? What they represent?" he asked her.

He could feel her nod her head against him. "I remember."

"I could never accept that we were really over," he said next. "And my heart still belonged to you, so... I just couldn't take it off."

Buffy was silent for a moment. "Me either. I tried more than a few times, but it just never felt right. I would get angry or sad and practically rip the set off of my hand and throw them or just set them to the side or whatever... but then I'd frantically go searching for them again. It never felt right with them off."

Looking down, he only now even noticed she was wearing her engagement and wedding rings again. He couldn't deny the little skip in his heart at the sight.

Angel cleared his throat. "The hospital had tried giving them to me when I arrived," he told her. "They said you had been wearing them but they'd had to take them off at one point or another. Not knowing what would happen next I just asked if there was a bag or something I could put your personal items in and left it at that."

"Are you mad that I told you?" she asked after another pause came and went.

Angel slipped her hands from around his middle and turned around to face her. "No," he answered. "I'm glad that you told me what happened. I'm upset that you didn't tell me before, yes. But more than anything I am just... I hate that you had to tell me that at all. And I wish to hell and back I could just go back in time and stop it from happening, or somehow make it right now... but I just don't know what I can do and I feel helpless here."

Buffy's fingers intertwined with his and took a step closer to him. "You've done more than you even realize already, Angel," she told him softly. "I should have told you before, but I am glad that I finally took the opportunity to do so."

Angel dropped his lips down to her forehead briefly. "You should go back to bed."

"Will you lay down with me?"

"If that's what you want," he answered.

Buffy gave him a small smile and nodded.

"Okay," he told her and led her back inside, sliding the door shut. He had her go lay down while he went to use the bathroom and clean himself a little before coming to join her. Angel buried his face into her hair, neck and shoulder, his arms wrapping around her and holding her close.

"God, I missed this," he heard her say.

Angel couldn't have agreed any more.

OoOoO

The blaring of Angel's alarm clock hours later had him groaning, pushing his head deeper into his pillow while she jumped up at the noise. When he finally got the strength to reach over and turn it off he apologized to her, squinting at the red numbers on the clock. "Shit," he breathed out.

Angel had been more than willing to just call the whole day off, but Buffy convinced him to go in. He got up and showered, getting ready and told her to just go back to sleep and he'd be back soon. Honestly, he knew he had at least one thing he needed to do today so he didn't mind running in to take care of that but his longer hours now that he lived in LA and everything were not required of him by any means. He knew he could have had less than half the ones he pulled in these days, could have worked right from the apartment, but the fact of the matter was he didn't have anywhere else to be or do. He didn't want to be in the apartment, alone.

He'd already planned on going in for just half the day as it were so there was that, too.

Angel went in and got what he needed done taken care of then hurried back home. Buffy was still fast asleep in his bed when he returned and he felt his heart rest a little, having been terrified it was either all just some made up nonsense in his head or she would have had the sense to take off while he was gone. Angel slipped off his shoes and jacket and climbed back into the bed next to her, pulling her to him, easily falling back to sleep.

Buffy was starting to stir and it began waking him up as well. Angel blinked a few times before his eyes could focus. "Hey," he greeted, his voice rough from just having woken up.

"Hi," she said back. "I didn't realize you'd come back," she told him before laying her head down on his chest. Her body cuddled closer to him, one her legs bending and curling on top of him.

"I was trying not to disturb you again," he told her once she'd gotten comfortable.

Buffy was quiet after that, her fingertips drawing random designs on his chest and arms. "D-do you remember when I asked you about what was the one thing you would change about us given a chance?" she finally spoke.

"I remember."

"You said you would change the fact that we ever ended... Do you still feel that way? Th-that we shouldn't be over?"

Angel swallowed. "Yes, at least from my point of view that is how I feel and want to see things."

She was silent again for several moments. "W-what if we w-weren't?"

He tilted his head a bit to look down at her, his heart skipping a beat but his mind telling him not to get any hopes up. "What do you mean? What if we weren't what?"

Buffy sighed, pulling herself off of him so she could sit up beside him. "W-what if we weren't over?" she asked shyly. "What if everything that happened recently is some sort of set up for a second chance for us?"

Angel cleared his throat, following her lead and pushing himself up on one elbow. "Would... would that be something you would actually want?"

"I know that we were a disaster before, but I don't want to think of that as how we ended things either, Angel. I don't want the end of the road for us to be over such stupidity. We were so much better than that and I think we could be again. I know that we would have a lot to work through and a long road ahead of us, but I think that's a road worth taking."

Angel pulled himself the rest of the way up, sitting up against the headboard. He cleared his throat again. "A lot happened, Buffy," he said slowly.

Her face fell. "I know. And I understand... I just..."

He cut her off, "Buffy, you are still everything in this world I want," he started softly, "and there is nothing in this world I wouldn't give to be with you again and to make it work again given a chance to. But a lot happened with us and I wouldn't want to relive that again by any means. I wouldn't even know where to start, do you?"

"I-I don't know... Maybe just by being together, being around one another? Working through what happened with us before, learning better ways to deal with problems that might arise in the future. Having an almost re-introduction to one another, remembering what made us fall in love with the other in the first place?"

"And seeing where it all takes us?" he asked after a moment.

Buffy nodded.

"Do you honestly think you could let go of the past enough for us to have a future? Do you think you would be able to trust me again? Look at me and not see what happened with the fighting, with Darla, with Will? Forgive me for the wrongs we both know that I did do?"

Buffy took his hand. "We both made a lot of mistakes, Angel. I know it wouldn't be a walk in the park-not for either one of us, but I do think we could make it. I'm already there on some things. I look at you and see the man that I love, that I want to be with, that I want to make everything up to because I'm the real reason we're here now. I do trust you, Angel. Yeah, maybe that is something that needs to be worked on but I do."

OoOoO

Hours were spent just talking after that, only getting up to take a bathroom break or to grab a cup of water to bring back. When Buffy's stomach wouldn't stop growling Angel told her to get up though, that he was going to fix them something to eat finally. She grabbed his arm before he made one foot into the hallway. "Angel?"

Anchel reached a hand out, cupping her cheek. "I'm yours, Buffy. I always have been and I always will be. As long as you want me, I am yours," he told her.

"I do want to make this work, Angel," she whispered.

He bent down to taste her. "We'll find a way then," he promised softly. If it was the last thing he would ever do, he would make that promise true he silently swore to himself. He'd spent nearly two years doing nothing but wishing for this very opportunity, he wasn't going to piss away for anything.

"Just like that?" she asked wearily.

Angel shrugged. "Like you said, it'll be a long road with a lot to work out but if you honestly want to see if we can make this work then yeah. I'm in, just like that."

Buffy smiled, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him again. Maybe, just maybe this could really work.

OoOoO

Buffy woke up before the alarm was to go off for a second time. She hadn't exactly been looking forward to her doctor's appointment before but now she just felt uneasy. At least she was doing better and had gotten her memories back. Maybe there'd be more good news to come, or just to be given an okay would be fine by her.

Buffy couldn't help but smile as she looked over at Angel's sleeping face mere inches from her. He had one arm draped across her, holding her tightly as he slept, cuddling her as if he was afraid she'd disappear otherwise. He was warm and comfortable, it just felt right being there in his arms, like it always did. Buffy closed her eyes, wishing for the countless time that she would have handled things better on her end, that she wouldn't have had to spend the past couple of years always wishing for this to be her life again.

Despite him having been honest about his feelings and for everything he'd done to show her how he felt and simply knowing what kind of a man he is, Buffy still found herself surprised by how he was okay with the idea of a second chance happening between them. That he wasn't pushing her away after everything she had told him and with everything she had done, instead he was just... Angel.

He was upset, angry and hurt about, well, everything and he had let that be known but he was handling things better than she expected. Had William Pratt still been alive Buffy was sure it would have been a very different case at least when it came to him. But Angel was keeping a level head with her, expressing his feelings and thoughts without it becoming some huge argument or something between them.

Angel was a little stand-offish at times, but she guessed it was more to do with him just being unsure about things and how awkward things were than anything else. She felt that too herself a good amount of the time. He was both so easy to talk to and be around, he felt like home, yet with everything that'd happened there was something else there, too.

Then again, they both knew they couldn't just magically pick up where they had left off, they couldn't pretend like nothing bad had happened between them. They'd said nasty things to one another, trust had been damaged, a horrible thing had happened to her. They'd had a beautiful relationship ruined once, they'd given up on that and walked away, they'd had two years of having separate lives again. They couldn't erase any of that.

But... they both wanted a future, wanted to give this a try, wanted to work through what had happened once and make sure nothing like that would come to be again. And that made her world feel like that big piece that had been missing for so long just might come back into place.

Yesterday had been wonderful, despite any tension and awkwardness. Waking up next to him, falling asleep in his arms... eating lunch and dinner together, just sitting around talking about what projects he was working on now, filling one another in on those five months they'd gone without any contact, her plans for what she was hoping to do next. It was nice.

It also made it sink in all the more how much she had missed all of this, the simple moments, the easy comfort that came with him.

Buffy laid there until the alarm went off, Angel's eyebrows furrowing at the noise, pushing the side of his head into the pillow for a moment. When his eyes opened, he blinked a time or two before a slow smile crossed his face. Buffy remembered the first time she'd witnessed this very thing happen and could remember thinking about how she wished she could see that the rest of her life. And truth be told, she had the same thought and feeling as she looked at him now.

OoOoO

Angel took Buffy to her appointment, waiting for her the entire time despite her protests of how boring that would be and reminding him that she could always text him when it was over if there was something he needed to do. She'd actually debated asking him to come back with her but that seemed like a bit much so she just accepted him being there for her out in the waiting room.

When her appointment was through, Angel asked if she wanted to stop in and see an aunt and uncle of hers who lived just outside of town. She'd never really been close to any of her extended family but had built some bridges with her mother's sister after Joyce's death which was nice. It wasn't much, but it was something. It made her feel like she wasn't totally alone when it came to being without family. Buffy had agreed only after calling them to see if they would be alright with it.

As they pulled into the drive, Angel turned to look at her. "I didn't even think to call them," he admitted.

Buffy gave him a small smile. 'It's okay, Angel. We're not really to that stage in the relationship with medical emergencies or anything."

"Still..."

Pamela and Ted were both surprised to have heard from her, but welcomed her with open arms as they got closer to the door. She'd always had a weird feeling about Ted but figured it wasn't anything so just let it go.

They were also both surprised to find her there with Angel as Buffy had never gone into much detail with either of them on what had happened between them but they were aware of there being a fallout and that they had divorced. Buffy took all of that as an opportunity to start filling them in on what had happened with what she'd been up to since her move, the car accident, the memory loss and everything after that point.

By the end of the visit, Buffy felt exhausted just having talked about everything.

Pam and Ted were going out to dinner and offered an invitation for her and Angel to join but they declined, thanking them anyway then starting to get ready to head out so they could get ready and go their own selves. Instead, they got some fast food from a drive-thru and started making their way back to Sunnydale.

"I promised Will I would call her later to fill her in on everything... but after all of that I think I might push that back until tomorrow," Buffy said with a sigh.

"I bet she'll have quite a few questions, might be best. You've had a lot going on the past couple of days."

Buffy nodded. She'd briefed over a few things with Willow and Tara after she'd gotten her memories back. They'd stayed longer afterward just talking to her and making sure she was okay. Buffy'd promised them she'd tell them everything, that there was so much more to the story she'd need to fill them in on, but needed to talk with Angel first. She'd thought maybe after telling Angel what happened with Spike it would seem easier, but that wasn't entirely the case. She still had that sense of dread about telling someone else, talking about it, even to her best friend.

But she knew she'd push through it. Just maybe not tonight.

When they got to Sunnydale, Angel pulled into the drive and turned the car off. His jaw was slightly clenched, his eyes focused elsewhere. "You okay?" she asked after a moment.

He didn't move at first but then his head turned to look at her. He didn't say anything though.

"You want to come in?" she asked after a moment passed. "Are you still wanting to stay tonight?"

Angel swallowed. "No, probably not."

That deflated her a little. "Oh."

He was silent a few more seconds. "Do you want to go out with me?" he asked.

"L-like a date?" she asked, a little confused.

He nodded. "Yeah."

A slow but bright smile took over her face. "Absolutely. I would love to."