Buffy woke early the next morning, before the first rays of sun had even graced the horizon. She couldn't believe that she had slept for fourteen hours. Angel must have been just as exhausted, since he hadn't even attempted to wake her last night.
Trying to maneuver from his hold as gently as possible without waking him, she had just about freed herself when he pulled her back against him. "Where are you going," he whispered, his voice husky and deep from sleep.
Turning in his arms, she kissed his lips assuring him that she would be right back, she just had to pee. Sliding back out of his embrace, she quickly padded across the cold wood floor, and briefly wondered if carpet would be safer for a baby.
Angel, hearing what he thought were sobs, came fully wake, jumping out of the bed in lightning speed, he stubbed his toe on the damn dresser as he made his way to their bathroom. The door was slightly ajar as he walked into the last sight he had expected. Buffy sat against the cabinets with her knees to her chest, her head hung down on her arms, sobbing uncontrollably. Immediately he went to her, crouching beside her, he pleaded desperately for her to tell him what was wrong.
When she was finally able to catch her breath, she held up a tampon. "I started my period," she gasped between sobs.
Angel let out a deep breath. His heart broke for her, himself as well but there was no denying this hurt her more than it did him. Getting down on the floor beside her, his hands were gentle as they reached for her. "Come here," he whispered. She climbed into his lap which only made her cry harder. "It's okay," he whispered into her mess of bedhair.
Her head shook against him and he began to massage his hands up and down her back. "I wanted to be pregnant." He could barely hear her.
"I know," he whispered back.
She cried harder for a moment before wiping her eyes. She sat back enough where he could see her face but she wouldn't look at him. "I kept trying to not get my hopes up too much. But I did," she told him. "It'd been so long without a period, we hadn't been careful so many times and God knows we've put the work in for me to be pregnant the past week. I was tired and emotional and... I thought... maybe..." She started crying harder again and he dropped a gentle kiss across her lips, on her nose, on her forehead.
"It's going to happen, babe," he told her, trying to think of words that could ease the pain in her heart right now. "We just started this whole new journey."
Suddenly, her eyes looked panicked and he wondered if that was more harmful than helpful to say in this situation. "What if it doesn't happen? What if something is wrong?"
"Babe, there is nothing to remotely suggest that. Get out of your head, get off of whatever dark road you're trying to go down."
"We tried before, Angel. And nothing happened. What if something is wrong," she repeated. "What if I can't get pregnant?"
He hugged her to him. "Stop that," he whispered. "We barely tried - without trying - before. There was maybe a handful of times of even a possibility of you getting pregnant then. On top of that, you had just come off birth control and the amount of stress in our lives at that time, I'm sure neither did us many favors in that whole department."
Buffy seemed to relax just the slightest. "It's just been a couple of weeks," she said, seemingly more to herself than to him.
"It's only been a couple of weeks," he repeated after her. "We have plenty of time ahead of us. But I do know how much you wanted this now and I am sorry I can't make it go away, or make it any different somehow."
"We had a lot of sex."
Angel couldn't help but chuckle at that. "That we have. And we will have a lot more, I promise."
OoOoO
Buffy was grateful she didn't have to go to work today. She hadn't asked him to but she'd overheard him on the phone calling out at the office earlier as well. She knew he hated not knowing how to help her, and she didn't even know what would make her feel better right now anyway so it was just kind of a bummed out, comfort her the best he could kind of day so far.
While he made them a late lunch, when she finally felt up to at least trying to eat something, she found herself upstairs in the guest room. She sat on the bed and let her mind wander, going through all she'd had running through her head since this morning one by one, letting each emotion roll through her, process it all better now that some time had passed and she had time to settle down some.
Grabbing a pillow, she held in her lap, her mind changing the guest room into a nursery. She hated being so ready but her body not cooperating. For the countless time she looked around the room and imagined most of the furniture that sat in here currently gone, probably taken off to storage or items finding new places around the rest of the house.
She imaged watching Angel setting up a beautiful crib, having shelves to match it around the room with books to read, small stuffed animals. She imagined buying things little by little and having everything ready to go for when the little one arrived... She imagined them standing in here together, a newborn in her arms, showing the tiny little human their room for the first time.
Buffy wiped her eyes, feeling herself getting worked up again. She knew Angel was right... this was new, there was so much going on in their lives right now, and there was time. It wasn't a race, even if she felt like it was. There was trying again... and again... and again if need be. It would happen and it would be perfect.
But today stunk all the same.
Buffy laid back and her mind then remembered the room as it once was when it was hers. That led her to wishing she had her mom here to talk to about these type of things. Or even Angel's mom. She could only imagine all the advice and love and encouragement those women would have for the two of them.
OoOoO
Buffy was just finishing braiding her hair when he knocked on the open door with his foot. Buffy smiled a little at him as he brought in two small plates with grilled cheese sandwiches on them. He laid hers on the bed before her and he waited until she patted at the spot beside her before joining her on the full sized guest bed.
"Today is not my favorite day."
He kissed her. "Mine either, Love."
"You still want to have a baby, though... right?"
"Yes. I do. I want a baby with you, I want babies with you. And, I will have babies with you."
"Babies?"
"Yes."
She took a bite of one half of her sandwich. "That better be one at a time babies."
He smirked at her. "One at a time," he agreed. Fate might have other plans but he was going with it.
OoOoO
Buffy let herself sulk over it all for about twenty-four hours before trying to pull herself together. Grabbing a quick shower before having to get ready for work helped, as did focusing more on her plans for the few hours she had with her students. She'd just started getting dressed when Angel joined her in the bathroom. His hands were quickly under the shirt she just put on as he wished her a good morning.
"You stop that," she playfully swatted at him. "I'm still bleeding over here, and I'm running late as it is."
"Well, A, that has never stopped me before and, B, I'm just copping a feel," he told her with a wink in the mirror. "For now."
Buffy turned and wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him a proper good morning kiss. It wasn't very often that she was awake before him and she never minded the sleepy look on his handsome face, that faint scratch in his voice that remained until he'd had his first cup of coffee.
OoOoO
She had just barely made it to the preschool on time this morning. After their kiss, Angel had murmured something about practice before spinning her around, and instructing her to grab hold of the bathroom counter. Promising he could be quick, he didn't bother with her blouse as he yanked her panties down in one swift motion.
She was going to protest, but before the words could even leave her lips he was already filling her, his hands digging into her hips, he used them as leverage to repeatedly thrust her against him.
Reaching around her body, his fingers began relentlessly working her now swollen clit. She couldn't keep up, her movements were frantic, as she begged for him to hurry, to slow down, she wasn't sure. All she knew of was the insurmountable pleasure that was rocketing through at a ferocious pace. Just as he grunted out that he didn't know how much longer he could last, the most fiercest orgasm tore its way through her body.
All the air escaped her lungs, silent screams of pleasure tried to escape her with no avail. She came in waves that left her spinning, shuddering in his embrace. Each of them were panting, attempting to regain the ability to form words after the quick coupling.
Angel leaned his down to rest between her shoulder blades, "Just give me a second. Even though you're still bleeding, you never know," he whispered completely breathless before placing a small kiss to her back.
She let him stay inside of her for a few more minutes, until she felt that familiar twitch of him beginning to swell once more. Leaning up from the counter, she reluctantly allowed his body to slip from her own, as he groaned something about never going 24-hours without her again.
Frantically trying to get ready for work, again she glanced at the clock. With absolutely no time for another shower, she grabbed a box of wet wipes and cleaned herself up as much as she could before throwing on her pants, and running out the bathroom. "I love you," she yelled back as she ran down the stairs and out the front door, not waiting for his response.
OoOoO
Angel had once again attempted to call Lindsey on his way to the office, but just like the last time all he received back was a quick response of, "Busy,". Irritated he tossed his phone into the passenger seat, Lindsey was supposed to be his best man and yet he couldn't even answer the fucking phone. They were quickly running out of time, and he really wanted to get his input on which restaurant they should hold their dinner reception at. Not to mention the fact that they would both need to be fitted for a new tux, and he really wanted to get his opinion on the whole Darla situation.
Especially now that Buffy had seen her too.
He had thought more than once about asking around his office, he was sure that there were certain people who knew what Darla was up to. He was just worried that would be perceived the wrong way, and he certainly didn't need it getting back to Darla that he was asking about her. The last thing he needed was her seeking him out.
Regardless he had to figure out some way to get some answers.
OoOoO
Willow sat on the phone listening to Buffy tell her everything that had been going on the last few weeks. Buffy had told her all about her new job, and then about Darla, which caused Willow to shriek, "That Bitch,".
Had it not been for the seriousness of the conversation Buffy would have laughed at her friend's outburst, she was positive that had to have been one of the five curse words she had ever spoken.
"Well, Buffy, I hope that's not what has you upset," Buffy could hear her attempting to switch the phone over to the bluetooth in her car. "Please tell me you're not letting Darla dictate your happiness. She is nothing Buffy, she's less than nothing. She's a cockroach."
That time Buffy couldn't help but chuckle."I'm not Will, I don't trust her and neither does Angel. I mean at least we know she's lurking around, so we can be prepared if she tries anything."
Willow sat quietly on the other end of the line worried for her friend. "Well, then, if it's not Darla, what's up? You're my best friend Buffy, I know when something's wrong."
Buffy flopped down onto her and Angel's still unmade bed, and briefly wondered if it would ever be made again. Willow was right, she was her best friend, taking a deep breath she exhaled slowly before answering. "I started my period."
"You started your period?" Willow questioned, confused as to why that would have her friends so down in the dumps. "Oh, well, do you need me to bring you some midol? I'm actually just about to pull into CVS."
Buffy just rolled her eyes, Willow was a genius, no doubt. But sometimes, especially when it came to things like this she could be really dense. "No Will, I started my period, which is something that I'm trying to avoid. You know, like for the next 9 months."
Buffy held her breath, while she waited for her friend to respond she really hoped that she hadn't made a mistake in telling her. They definitely didn't have plans to tell anyone they were trying, but after getting her period she just needed her best friend, another woman to tell her it was going to be okay.
"Oh, Buffy. I don't know what to say, a baby. That's… wow."
Cuddling deeper into Angel's side of the bed Buffy inhaled his scent, "I know. But Will it's what we both want, and everything about it just feels so fucking right," closing her eyes she once again tried to stave off tears.
"And Angel's onboard with this? I know you two had tossed around the idea before your divorce, but…" Willow had trailed off unsure of what to say, a pregnancy and a wedding was a lot to handle. But in the end she just wanted them to he happy, if there was ever a couple who deserved a happily ever after it was them.
"Ya, I mean at first he wanted to wait until after the wedding. But honestly now, I don't know, sometimes I think he may even be more excited at the prospect than I am."
Buffy turned onto her back, and grabbed the comforter, pulling it up to cover her. "We're just so ready to move on Will, and I dont know, I know these things take time, but right now it just feels like my stupid body is holding us back."
Willow's heart broke her friend, "Buffy, you couldn't have been trying for very long. You haven't even been back together very long, it will happen when it's supposed to do. Unfortunately there's just some things in life we can't rush, no matter how badly we want them."
Buffy sighed on the other end of the line, "You know, sometimes you and Angel are so much alike it's scary."
"What do you mean?"
"He's pretty much been telling me the same thing. The logical side of me knows it to be true, too, but still..." she trailed off. Sighing, she admitted how she had been letting her hopes build up a little lately. "I kind of thought I was pregnant already," she told her favorite redhead. "I don't know. Most of it was probably just in my head with wishing so hard.. but I hadn't had a period in forever, I was so exhausted..."
"Maybe that was from all the trying," Willow offered.
"That could very much be the case," she admitted. "And that is totally a story for another time!" she said, totally needing for someone else on the planet to know what this damn man was capable of.
Willow chuckled. "We'll have to get together real soon and catch up. We still have a wedding to plan. That could be part of your exhaustion as well, plus you did just start working again."
"We very much need to get together again soon," Buffy smiled. Now that she was home and had some free time she was planning on looking online for photographers and a few other odds and ends. "I probably need to call Cordelia back here in a few. She keeps asking if we want a cake and the voicemail she left me earlier gave me the impression that she was going to offer to make one."
"You better put a pin in that real quick. Cordelia is great at many things... baking is not one of them."
Buffy agreed. "I actually think she's gotten worse with practice. God love her."
OoOoO
Buffy felt a little accomplished. It was a load off of her shoulders to talk to Willow about the Devil and about the baby situation, more than she even thought it would be. It was nice to just say the words out loud and have someone on the outside who she could trust and who loved her to talk to about it.
School had been fun today, she loved the little crafts she got to do with her kids today and story time had been so animated with the surprise guest reader. She'd been so worried being around little ones would make her think too much about how she and Angel would have had a child this age or all the stuff about them trying for a baby but it didn't do harm. It only made her more excited for the "when."
After getting off the phone with Willow, she called Cordelia, then started searched online for local photographers. She also looked up addresses for some shops she might be able to find a dress at - and did some online window shopping in the process for ideas. She then looked up some restaurants and made a list for Angel since she'd put him in charge of picking one and knew he hadn't settled yet. She went ahead and called two for him since she was there to make sure they could even do what they had in mind when she couldn't get the answers she needed from their websites.
She knew she'd feel less stressed when a few more of these bigger things had been purchased and/or figured out.
OoOoO
Angel looked at Buffy for a moment, then at his phone, then at Buffy again. "Call Lindsey."
"Why? Didn't you just try to get ahold of him?"
"I did. Humor me?" he asked. He crossed his arms and watched her grab her phone, sending out a video call request.
"Well, hello, beautiful. How are you today?" Lindsey greeted.
Angel walked into view behind the couch and glared into the phone. "Asshole."
Lindsey couldn't help but start laughing. "Damn! You're on to me."
"Answer your damn phone when I call you!" he continued to glare. "You are the worst best man on the planet, I swear."
"Is it because I'm in love with your bride to be and she's in love with me?"
Buffy broke out into laughter now and he set his jaw. "Sometimes I'm very glad you live halfway across the country from me."
Lindsey kept laughing. "For the record though, I was busy earlier."
"And just three minutes ago when I tried to call you again?"
"Well, that was me just being a dick." They bantered back and forth for awhile but Angel told him he'd call him to actually talk tomorrow or something. He didn't feel much like getting into the topic of Darla in front of Buffy right now, or even thinking about her anymore today his own self. He told Lindsey he'd better answer next time, too.
OoOoO
Having spent the majority of his time lately trying to impregnate Buffy, it was a little hard for him to keep his hands to himself he had found. He didn't want to come off in the wrong way... either coming off as though he was brushing off her feelings about not having a baby baking just yet, or not showing enough of his affection for her. It was a weird balancing act that he didn't enjoy at all.
While he made dinner, she hung around the kitchen with him, telling him all about her day, how plans for the wedding were coming along on her end, and mentioned that she had decided to tell Willow about them trying to have a baby. They flirted, they kissed, he held her and would rock with her while waiting for the food to cook or need to be turned over or stirred. And there was this morning... But he didn't want to push her.
He sure in the hell wasn't going to deny her anything either. He barely had turned the last burner off of the stove when Buffy had come up behind him. Her hands smoothed his shirt out and she pressed her breasts into his back. "Take me upstairs," was all she had to say.
ButImBroken:
Cowritten with Scribes1015!