Chpt. 5

Sarcastic

Yeah, what kind of mental patient kills herself? That's just crazy.

- Constantine the movie

AGO.

When Severus Snape was a kid that seemed like an actual place. Where the beginning of the world was without the monsters and humans. Where there were no philosophical questions that are pointless and used to fill the leisure time one receives.

There were stories from ancient Egypt and the Sumerians that seemed to answer all; Simplified reasons to simple existence.

Now all it is essential bullshit.

After all who cares what happens when you're dead. Are all the religions some sort of gimmick used for people who obviously lack the thought of just accepting things as they are.

But Black Onyx doesn't seem to worry of such things. It's a foolhardy game that no one wins and everyone is losing.

Ago. Like in a make- believe story Ago seemed to be the place that only children know. Where monsters are conquered and there seemed to be a true good or evil. The place where Shakespeare dwelt with all his romantic ideals, Milton with all his condensation, Dante along with the damnation…

Dumbledore with all his Love.

Ago. That is what Hogwarts is to most. The place of magic and battles between the devils and humans. The place where all things are supposed to be accepted, but in Face of the Truth nothing has ever been accepted.

Number 12 Grimmauld Place is not Ago…

It is the house of his enemies…

Some poet must have said once.

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"Sometimes I wonder what I would scream out if I were insane." He's talking to a mirror. It's the only thing to talk to in the house…

Besides the portraits. But hell, he ain't that crazy…

Though there are times when he wonders if he isn't.

That has no matter at the moment. Someone from the Order has yet to show up, and he will not allow himself to lose sense as the duration of such a confrontation commences.

There are sounds of the door slamming and that blasted woman screeching.

If Severus Snape had a cigarette with a lighter he knew that it would end up in smoking the bloody hag into a pile of ashes.

Of course he didn't actually have the privilege to die of lung cancer or play with fire. In fact he didn't have his wand any more.

Fuckin' Potter.

There are people talking and coming closer to the room that Severus Snape is standing in. If it were possible he would be trembling in fear or anxiety. Alas, it is Black Onyx who would be making these peoples acquaintance.

"Snape, you murderous scum! What the hell do you think you're doing sucking up to Harry like that?" The venom in the voice has Severus Snape wondering whether or not he should just duck and cover.

The old man with the wooden leg and gnarled features glares at Black Onyx. The magical eye spinning out of control.

"You are a freakish man aren't you Mad Eye." Ok so that wasn't actually what he had meant to say. The absent malicious tone of his voice sounded vaguely of Sybil high on Mary Jane.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that you worthless piece of scum!" The snarl is most prominent.

Black Onyx can't stop the sharp bark that emits from his mouth.

"Why not kill me? Merlin, God, Baa, all the Higher Powers know that you want to." The mild calm voice is slightly verging on the edge of hysteria.

After a moment of staring at the incredulous face Black Onyx goes back to looking in the mirror. With its too long protruding nose, the sallow cheeks, the lines that seemed to cover the pale sick looking face. Dark Onyx eyes glinting without any expression.

Perhaps death would be kind enough to wipe these too deep lines away…

Fat chance.

"I would Death Eater don't put it past me."

"I'll be knife won't I? Kill me as you would want to, but please let me be the one insinuates the first wound." Because it's easier to think suicide than death?

It'll be the first decision of my life.

How true.

Another person walks into the room. The man is black and quietly powerful.

"Relax Alastor no need to lose your head over this." His deep treble voice makes Severus Snape remember Hagrid and Hogwarts. The taste of lemon drops on his tongue.

"Harry will be here tonight for a meeting you will attend." Ah, but of course.

"Where is Draco?"

"Somewhere safe."

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The clothes that were lying on the bed were Muggle. It has been nearly two decades since Severus Snape had worn Muggle clothing. The pants shaped his legs into long stalks, the buttoned shirt reminds Severus Snape of his father and the way his beer belly protruded outward to stretch the buttons. His hair is too long, yet all too telling white hairs pop up.

Severus Snape feels old. Old and bitter just like his father. Old and exhausted just like his mother.

You think it's unfair.

The last time that Severus Snape had worn pants tight bell-bottoms were all the rage. The Ramones blared in the background and gay pride was still frowned upon. The feminist view was everything; John Lennon would be shot… the world that was peaceful in the end of the Vietnam War.

The end of the Seventies… an era that cannot be repeated. With the drugs, sex and rock and roll. Where no one really knew about AIDS. Where music was the soul of the world. Where being modern was not such a ridiculous concept…

These clothes that are on the grown up boy who used to scream with Led Zepplin and was raging against Nixon and every other political leader. Where everything religious was scoffed at…

I feel old.

Do you dig it?

A sequence of quiet chuckles escapes Severus Snapes' mouth.

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"How the hell can you live with yourself?" The remark is made by a hotheaded redhead. Which one? Does it matter?

Well, you see my body is like a house.

"That Weasley is not at question."

"I don't care. You killed Dumbledore."

"I'm glad you've finally learned to pay attention." This is delivered with a smirk.

The cold silence is met with a sentiment

"You're a fuckin' bastard."

"On the contrary I don't fuck and my parents were married."

Harry Potter clears his throat sending Weasley a look.

"Snape you've been hiding from both the Dark Side and the rest of the Wizarding world." At this Potter fixes his fiercely determined eyes on Severus Snape.

Black Onyx replies, "Did anyone look?"

"Why are you hiding from your Master---"

"I've become weary of Masters."

"Answer the question!"

"I am Potter."

"No you're not."

"Then what are these sounds coming from my moving mouth."

At this a frustrated noise is made from the boy that Severus Snape used to terrify.

"If you don't tell us--"

"I did."

"That wasn't an answer!"

"Pay attention Chosen One, I don't want any Masters." The scathing tone of voice grinds on even Black Onyx's nerves.

Not everything needs a drawn out telling you fucking little---

"Why did you kill him?"

Fixing the boy with a sweet smile that transformed his weary face into a handsome world-weary man. "Because I could."

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There's several ways that someone may analyze oneself.

Not that any of them are useful.

But when you insult the jury and destroy the one chance you have at being appealed once a war ends… it kinda makes you think you're an asshole.

Which was true before, but at least he could dig a hole and lie in it before facing the consequences.

Now he had to stay in his bedroom like a child.

Not that the mangled old man didn't get a kick out of it.

Fuckface.

"Well Snape, I wouldn't have had to resort to that if you had just cooperated."

"Does my privacy count for nothing Potter?"

"No."

"Go away."

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A/N: Seriously it doesn't matter what you write but review… it makes me wonder if my writing does suck.