AN: I have decided to continue this story. Did any of you watch Oprah yesterday? I especially enjoyed Addison's comment, "Derek and I should definitely be together, I mean we would have gorgeous children! And I could, like, deliver my own baby! You don't see that every day!" Had to laugh and cheer at that, go ADDEK! Also, a little freaky that Justin Chambers has 5 kids…he looks so young! Anyways, enjoy the story.

Oh! Check out my Derek Addi forum in my profile. Go to my profile click my forums and come one in! Also did a bit of a time change, this is not right after Derek left Meredith!

It's a short-ish chapter but enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own GA or the characters

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Chapter 2: Fallen

I found out within the first ten minutes of the appointment, why Meredith had come to see me. She was almost four months pregnant and during the first ultrasound they had discovered the child was sick, it had a heart defect. She wanted an abortion.

As soon as she said it, my heart seemed to have torn in two. I could barely contain the anger I felt as I suggested other options. She seemed set on the idea of an abortion until I brought up adoption. She didn't want the baby but she didn't want to harm it either, I could see it in her eyes. I couldn't help but agree she wasn't ready to have a child, but really? An abortion?

At three and a half months I was almost 100 sure Derek wasn't the father. Unless he had slept with her after we had made up it wasn't his. My thoughts were confirmed when Meredith told me who the father was, "Either that guy I picked up at a bar, or…" She stopped and I waited, semi patiently. "Yeah, it was a guy from Joe's." I stared, not believing what she was telling me. However, I simply nodded and tried to explain how we could help the child. Meanwhile my mind was racing. If she couldn't tell me who the father was who's to say it wasn't Derek's?

After our appointment she seemed to feel more settled and took home a handful of pamphlets. I on the other hand was a mess. I couldn't even wait for Derek; I drove to the trailer alone, my hands clamped angrily over the steering wheel. It wasn't that I had anything against free will; it's just that I had a hard time with abortions for…personal reasons.

When I made it home Doc heaved himself at me, trying to get out the door. I let him out and back in again then sunk into the couch pulling a blanket over myself. Doc jumped up next to me and settled himself against my thigh. I stroked his ears as I began to talk.

"You know what Doc, it's not fair. Why would someone like Meredith get pregnant? Why wouldn't someone like me get pregnant? It isn't like we didn't try Doc, but after three in vitro and three miscarriages I couldn't take it."

Doc whined sympathetically and licked my hand as a tear slipped out of the corner of my eye.

"We even got pregnant twice, by accident. I lost those ones too. We saw a fertility specialist, nothing worked."

Doc looked at me, his soulful eyes boring a hole through me.

"Y'know Doc, that may be why I slept with Mark. It was too hard to deal with it and Derek at the same time, so I looked for another release."

I trailed my fingers through Doc's fur and I heard Derek's truck pull up in front of the trailer.

When he came in I saw his face was lined with worry, "Addison? Addi, where are you?"

I sat up, "I'm here Derek."

He suddenly looked angry, "Addison! You said you were going to wait, the nurses told me you stormed out of there with no warning. You could've been hurt!"

He stopped when he noticed the tears in my eyes. "Addi? What is it?"

I shook my head, "Nothing Derek." My voice came out colder than I had anticipated and he struck back.

"Nothing Addi? Last time it was nothing I found you sleeping with my best friend? Who is it now huh?"

My cheeks flushed with anger and I was suddenly on my feet, "You can't let it go can you? You can't understand what I was feeling Derek!"

He ran his fingers through his hair, his trademark action of frustration, "Addison, I was feeling the same way you were."

I sat back down on the couch, comforting the disgruntled Doc. "Let it go Derek."

I heard him hit something then he turned back to face me, "Damn it Addi, I was trying to be understanding."

I felt a hard lump well up in my throat again and turned so he couldn't see the fresh glisten of tears. Too late, he sat down and touched my arm. I pulled away until he dropped his hand, "What is it Addi?"

I couldn't look at him, "Meredith is pregnant."

Whatever I had been expecting, it wasn't what he did next. I felt his arms wrap around me and he pushed my head down on his shoulder. The simple act of kindness, an act a husband would do with his wife, brought my wall of strength crumbling down. A sharp sob broke through and I allowed the tears to fall freely.

He stroked my hair, trying to comfort me. He whispered in my ear, trying to console me, but I cried harder.

"Sh, sh, it's ok." He murmured.

I could hear the tremor in his voice as well, and when I looked up I saw that his eyes were glistening slightly as well.

"Derek, why can't we have a baby?" I whispered.

He shook his head, "Addi, we've tried. Every time we've lost a baby it's driven us farther apart."

I chewed on my lip and wiped anxiously at the tears. I knew he was right but the last time we had tried to have a baby had been over a couple years ago. I told him so and his face became pained.

"Addi, we can't have a baby. We're not exactly in the most stable position."

I nodded, but turned away, looking at Doc who was sitting patiently, watching the both of us. I stroked his ears and chuckled as he leaned in for more.

Derek slipped his arm around me and kissed my cheek, "It's going to be ok Addi. I promise."

I nodded, swallowing hard before answering him, "Derek, I'm sorry. I want you to have a DNA test."

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Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

"Fallen" Sarah McLachlan