Chpt. 6
A/N: Ok good criticism…keep it going. But first to explain myself--
I don't usually pay attention to the actual story, mainly because I don't really know what to write next so I just put a bunch of stuff down and start from there. I realize that it probably debauches the story, however I will start proof- reading. Maybe a few suggestions or advice would help.
Second, I have made Snape a bit more Muggle than I initially planned. But I figured since in OOP Potter seen that memory of Snapes' father and in HBP Snapes' father turns out to be a Muggle, that he would have lost himself in the Muggle world in order to get away… possibly (hint hint) his father took the Wizarding World close to heart and began to resent Snape and his wife. There also goes the fact that Potter Sr. was a wizard and that may have pissed Snape off.
If that doesn't make sense… and believe I don't usually do… reply and give me the lowdown. After all this is so I can improve.
Constant Vigilance
"My job is to, like, think beyond the immediate."
-George W. Bush
Washington D.C.
April, 21/04
Severus Snape finds it disgusting here. The dust that collects reminds him of Hagrid's ploughed fields for his pumpkin patch.
There are fingerprints where people have unknowingly put their hands on the banister. The thought makes Severus Snape shudder. So what to do when there is dirt all over a degrading house?
That's right.
Find a cloth and start scrubbin'.
Which has currently turned dark grey because of the residue. Dumping it back into the bucket Severus Snape continues his wipe down of the kitchen. The chairs are still uneven, considering it was perhaps a year and a half ago that a wizard (who could have fixed the irritating problem) lived here. But Snape tries not to let it bother him because then he'll remember that he doesn't have a wand.
Potter hasn't shown up again. Yet three days of silence has calmed Snape that he isn't going to just keel over and die.
The sound of Severus Snapes' fingernails grinding at a black spot on the ebony wood floor is obscenely loud. It's bugging him enough that when he finally manages to get a piece of the black tar like substance up, it goes and lodges itself underneath his index finger. It hurts like a bitch.
Grinding his teeth and conquering the bastard that caused him pain, that trademark sneer was placed on his face.
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Severus Snape has a past. It's the first think you learn about a man with such a surly face. He's had a 'past' since the age of three, when his father broke his arm while drunk. His mother healed it with magic and his father waited approximately two years before breaking it again.
A lot of the horrible things have had to do with his father. The hurt, the pain, and the loneliness… his father poisoned him with hate before the age of ten. His mother fed him resentment for weakness and wanton lust for power.
Knowledge is power. That's what Grandfather Prince told him the one time Snape met him.
At the age of eight when most kids really don't know how to read well, Snape had devoured the teachings of Plato and Plutarch… when he turned twenty he realized that such things were not going to point him anywhere in his life.
At nine, he would find his mother's old school books in the attic and feed on them with a thirst for the wicked. The salty taste it would leave on his tongue made him hungry for more. Though it would be another two years before he could attach himself to something of higher substance.
When he did it was as if the fire in the core of the earth turned him over and threw ice on his heart.
Not to care meant his father's blows were nothing.
His mother's denial was only a dull ache in the deepest trenches of his mind.
Later it would help him with Potter and his Lame Game.
That was his past before one day everything became a little more.
Yet that's a story that brings on a headache. The last thing that Snape wants is a headache. Though the cleaning solution his open doesn't seem to help the prevention of one.
Slapping the cloth in the sink Snape turns to go back to his room.
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He wakes only 45 minutes later to the sound of very loud and very rude voices.
Shut the Fuck Up!
Ain't gonna get up and deliver a message to the infidels?
Chuckling into the dark of his small room, Snape imagines the stereotypical depictions of crazed dictators. The stupid moustaches they all seem to have. The staccato sound of their voice…
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It's been a week and Snape has had the pleasure of not having to deal with anyone but that goddamned portrait. You know, the one that the ex- Professor wants to destroy…
Although knowing Potter he'll claim fake remorse and find some way to make Snapes' life hell.
The cleaning of the rabbit hole has gone quite well. It looks decent and continues to each day. Even if there's still a boggart in a chest that gave him trouble a day or so ago. But not counting the unknown creatures or bewitched objects that can't be dealt with without a wand.
It's still going along smoothly.
Snape doesn't eat. When he does he feels as though he's filled his stomach with concrete. It hurts and gives him a tummy ache.
When he can't sleep he goes to a window and blows till it fogs. Then he writes messages to himself like he did when he was a kid. Sometimes he'll write the truth, as Dumbledore knew it.
But mostly it is the truth, as he never told it.
After all how could The Old Fool understand what it meant to be Severus Snape (Death Eater, Broken Home, Snivellus, Half- Blood Prince…) what it meant to be a person of no known cause.
"Sssssssnnnnnaaaaappppaaaa?" Snape can feel his balls go back up in his body.
"Oh dear God, are you drunk?" He can't help the hoarse whisper and the fear that petrifies him.
Potter comes into view. The very vision of his father.
No. This is a child.
Who controls your life.
"Weeeeeerrree aaarrrrrgggg yyaa?"
Snape doesn't answer.
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There are things that should never be thought of since they are indeed the past events. Things that make one want to kneel in pain clutching the stomach that burns in agony.
Severus Snape could remember them. The lost memories that The Old Fool practically raped out of him, never mind the fact it kept him out of Azkaban.
There are probably memories that are in need of review. In order to up keep in reality and sanity it would be best to start soon.
Maybe he'll start tomorrow. He's not feeling too well right now.
Severus plays with the thought that it's old age coming to get him.
Then he sobers as he thinks that it's karma that comes around to get him.
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Potter's brought him a radio.
He listens to it for a while on the classical music station.
Than goes for the classical rock that remind him of long hair and tight leather pants.
And for the first time Snape smiles. Remembering what was once the present but now is the past.
He looked up at one point to find Potter staring at him. The boy smiled at him then handed him a letter from Draco.
Severus Snape finds that he is content. For the first time since the Dark Lord gave rise.
But it doesn't bother him for some reason.
Pfftt some spy you turned out to be.
Shut up.