Ch.4 Mind tricks Extraordinaire

The sun was setting beautifully in the sky. "Oh well..." our poor professor thought silently

"At least I can enjoy some things in this terrible, terrible new life."

Fire! Fire! Yelled a screaming Wal-mart employee.

Severus Realized that the wal-mart had suddenly caught fire. Running out as fast as he could,

he tripped over a large speed bump and fell flat on his face into a puddle of oil.

Suddenly, it occured to him that his Harry Potter stickers were still inside!

before he had time to think, he rushed back inside the violently burning wal-mart trying to grab

the stickers contrary to everything his wonderful pree-school teacher taught him about fire

safety.

His eyes widened in terror when he looked where he had left the stickers. They were missing,

and a note was in their place...

Dear Snape,

YOU COTTON HEADED NINNY-MUGGINS MUGGLE FACED NOSE IMPAIRED UGLY BUGgLY!

We lightened the load for you,

Revenge is ours,

Lupin and Black.

Snape was also very much disturbed by the fact that it was written in pink crayon...

pink was HIS favorite collor!

He tried to rush frantically out of the burning building when... THUNK!

he hit the sliding glass door.

"I'm trapped! I'm Trapped!" He screamed, but in the crackling of the flames, no one heard him.

It was growing hotter by the second. The wax of Lupin's crayon had already melted off of the

letter.

"Let me out! let me out!" he wimpered through the intense heat. "What's the magic word?"

a strage voice in his head said that sounded alot like the writer...

"Ummm... Crucio?" He struggled. The flames had almost reached the spot where he was standing.

"No you stupid! didn't you learn ANYTHING from those hoardes of Barny tapes you watch!

It's PLEASE you cotton-headed ninny muggins." She laughed "Don't call me that!" He screamed.

Just then, his pants caught fire. "Okay, okay! PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE PLEASE!"

Just then, he found himself lying in a farmers field, the fire nowhere in sight, and a tent with

a campfire and some tiny sausages. Severus loved tiny sausages.

After he ate, he found himself very tired. He lay down to sleep in the pale pink sleeping bag

next to the psychadellic yellow one, and the vivid orange one.

Severus woke up the next morning in exactly the same spot he went to sleep... however,

something was diffrent. He realized what was diffrent when he saw another two of him,

lying fast asleep in the other sleeping bags. The other two Snapes started to stir,

and soon sat up. One of them was smiling, and the other tried to cover the smile.

Severus didn't know which was stranger: that there were suddenly three of him, or that his head

felt like someone had ripped out some of his hair.

"Who are you?" asked snape no.2

"I Am severus allan snape! who are you two?" said the real snape

"Not again..." Said no.3

"What do you mean?" the real snape asked.

"Well one thing worse than being schitzophrenic is waking up and not remembering that you are

isn't it!" Finished No.3

"You see..." started the second "I'm the happy snape, he's the sad snape, and you're the angry

snape!" he smiled.

"I AM NOT!" Snape yelled. "Is this some kind of a trick?"

"There you go getting angry again!" sobbed Snape 3.

"There there professors, let's all just make up and have some sausages."

"Wait a second..." whispered the real snape "I KNOW there's only one of me... and if there WAS

more than one of me, they'd know there was only one of me too, because they'd be me!

But then again if there really were three of me, than all three of me would probably know that

there were three of me... wouldn't we? I mean, wouldn't I? Oh crap, i'm confusing myselves!

"i guess I'll just have to go with my hunch on this one...

I could live with three of me... three times the points from gryffindor!"

"Hey me! what about those sausages!"

But then snape noticed something odd about the other two of him, one's hair was growing longer

and getting lighter in color... the other's hair was slowly dissapearing.

These wern't him at all!

"Drat... the polyjuice potion ran out!" sulked voldemort. "And we just started having fun!"

Yelled lucius malfoy. "What are you two doing here!" Snape asked in bewilderment.

"This is my tent! I live here" smiled Malfoy "Do you like it?"

"Where do Draco and Narcissa Live?" Snape asked suddenly "Oh, in a cardboard box..."

lucius said quietly.

"This... THIS is MALFOY MANNOR!" Severus smirked. "Well how else could we afford all that fancy

stuff we wear... and tickets to the quidditch cup don't come cheap you know!"

Lucius defended himself.

"But why is voldemort here?" Severus asked, eyes narrowed. "Because I smelled tiny sausages."

Voldy smirked. "How can you smell, you don't even have a real nose?" Lucius asked, bewildered.

"I smell with my feet." Voldemort stated naturally, as if it was the most normal thing in the

world.

"Ewww!" lucius shreiked. "Three words! GET PLASTIC SURGERY!"

"But my bottom is just fine the way it is! I was telling wormtail that I am perfectly-"

Voldemort tried to say.

"He means NOSE surgery master!" Severus giggled.

"O- Oh..." Voldy stammered "I-I knew That!"

"Well now that were all here, let's apperate somewhere fun!" he Suggested.

"But were not alowed to apperate on hogwarts grounds!" Lucius sighed.

Severus slapped him. "We're not on hogwarts grounds!"

"I know..." lucius snickered "I just think that sounds cool. If i ever make a school named

hogwarts that's gonna be my first and only rule!"

"So people can run naked, skip class whenever, never go to bed, and get as drunk as they please

at your school malfoy, but they can't apperate onto the grounds?"

Voldemort asked, seeming genuinely interested.

"If that's what they want!" Lucius smiled. "Where do i sign up!" severus said sarcastically.

"I'll sign up too!" Said voldemort seriously.