From his perch on their bed, Angel watched his wife straightening her hair through the opening of their bathroom door. The tear was far from healed, but looking better each week, Doctor Laurence had given her the go ahead to do small tasks at her last appointment. As long as they didn't require her to stand for more than fifteen minutes or lift anything over five pounds, she was free to move about.

Still, he always made sure to lounge around until she was ready to go downstairs for the day, he was pretty sure she'd caught onto his charade, but so far she hadn't given him too much grief about it.

He wished he could say the same for other aspects, for someone on bedrest she sure seemed to be going out of her way to drive him out of his mind the last few days. They'd definitely never gone this long without making love, at first he was worried and her injuries were so severe that the thought hadn't even crossed his mind. Then over time as she began to heal, and the initial panic within him subsided, he would catch his mind wondering, drifting to thoughts of things he had no place imagining.

Much to his embarrassment, there had even been a few nights he woke up, his hips thrusting against the warmth of her ass nestled against him. Luckily, she hadn't been woken too, otherwise he was sure he would have found himself in a whole mess of trouble.

He hadn't jerked off since he had moved back into this house, but he was afraid if he didn't find some relief soon… well he wasn't sure what would happen, but he was sure it was nothing good. Hell, with the case of blue balls he had this morning, Buffy may be the one helping him down the stairs. Speaking of, she'd done little to help the situation, he felt like everyday he was brushing off more of her advances. As badly as he wanted, he just couldn't stomach the idea of being touched, but not being allowed to touch her back.

Absolutely nothing about this situation was fair.

Especially not the way she was currently prancing about their bedroom, still dressed in one of her silk nighties that seemed to accentuate every single one of her glorious curves. Grabbing the comforter, he pulled it up to cover his waist as he watched her walk from her closet, to their dresser, and back again, setting various items of clothing on the foot of the bed as she did so.

As though she could feel his eyes on her, she finally walked back to the edge of the bed, completely clueless to his aroused state, she swiftly pulled the silk over her head, baring herself to him. Any other time he would have avoided watching her, looked away, fucking closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep… but at the moment it was all he could do to remind himself to breathe. His hungry eyes took in every detail, how the pale blue lace of her thong dug just the slightest bit into the flesh of her hips. The way her perfectly rounded breasts bounced as she reached for her bra, which of course was the perfect match to her panties. He had to forcibly hold back his moan of protest once she got the article in place, snapping it closed.

As if this was some cheesy porno, and right on cue, he watched as the shirt she went to grab slipped from her fingers and fell to the floor. Holding his breath he focused on the smooth curve of her string covered ass as she bent over to retrieve the garment. What he would give to be that shirt as it glided down her arms, down the soft expanse of her neck, slipping over her pregnant body, hugging all of her curves. Ya, he'd definitely reached his limits, he wasn't sure anyone had ever been jealous of an article of clothing before.

He must have zoned out, the next thing he knew she was walking around to his side of the bed. "Earth to Angel," she giggled, playfully waving her injured arm in front of his face as she took a seat next to him. "Hmm," he answered, not even able to trust his own voice at the moment.

"I said, will you fix the clasp on my bra… I think I missed one."

Of fucking course she had.

Propping himself up against the headboard, he clenched his jaw in an effort to focus on anything except the warmth of her body, the feeling of those bare thighs wrapped tightly around him. Moving her hair to one side, he slowly lifted her shirt, as he gently snapped the material back in place, before allowing his hands to wander around to cup her engorged breast. Almost instantly she leaned back into his touch, her head tilting to one side as he began hungrily kissing down the delectable expanse of her neck.

"Angel, we c-," she began, only to be cut off as he pulled her down onto the bed beside him. Lifting the covers over her, he spooned his body tightly behind hers, resting his raging hard on between her warm thighs. "Don't move," he whispered even as he continued his assault down her neck. "I just need to feel you for a minute."

She nearly moaned at the feeling of his hardness pressed so close to her after so long. She wanted to tell him how much she wanted him, how badly she missed the feeling of him inside of her, but she knew that right now none of that would help their situation. This was torturous, she knew their circumstances were different because of the accident… but she wasn't sure she was ever willing to risk pregnancy again if it meant this.

"I love you," she whispered, as she slowly began to rock her hips back against his own.

"Buffy," he warned, his hand sliding up her bare thigh in an effort to still her movements.

"Let me touch you," she pleaded, knowing there was no way they could both go on like this. "You have no idea how badly I want you Buffy, but you know we can't."

"No, I can't," she huffed, tired of this argument. He had quickly shut her down every single time and she was well past over it. Buffy knew that off in Angel's mind he was probably only trying to be noble or what the fuck ever... but to her it was anything but. Especially with the more time went on and the more instances where he'd shot her down came along. She found herself nearly wanting to cry in the moment but did her best to reel the tears in as she struggled to get back off of his lap.

"Buffy..." Angel called out to her, his face only upsetting her more with the look of confusion and concern gracing those handsome features.

She shook her head as she took a step back once standing and then started to walk away further from him to try and go find something to finish off her outfit. "This may surprise you, Angel," she spoke as she dug through one of the dresser drawers, "but I don't happen to enjoy being rejected by my damn husband over and over again."

He sighed heavily, she could hear his head falling backward with a slight thud as it hit the wall. "Buffy... for crying out loud. I am not rejecting you!"

"Well, I don't see how in the hell you're not!" she argued back. Not even wanting to finish putting some shorts on in the same room with him right now, she carried them in her now fisted up hands as she headed for the doorway. When Angel attempted to join her at the top of the stairs as she started carefully making her way down, Buffy made it clear he wasn't to hover about behind her right now.

Angel tried her name again but she just shook her head once more, climbing a few steps lower without acknowledging him further.

Her jaw clenched tightly as she felt his eyes burning holes through her anyway the whole trip down the staircase. She went to go sit down on the edge of the sofa to put the damn shorts on and finally heard him make a noise of frustration from back above but he had disappeared from sight when she dared a glance that way.

OoOoO

The hours, which were filled with tension and a lot of avoidance on their ends, seemed to pass slower by the minute. Buffy had made it clear that she wanted him to give her some space but when you're both stuck in the same house and there was the fact that he needed to remain near enough to still be able to keep an eye on her in case something happened... well, it was easier said than done.

He had done his best despite that but finally he dared to approach her after she seemed to be in a little bit better of a mood following her phone call with Willow. "I'm sorry," he began and Buffy's eyes lifted to meet his finally. "I'm sorry if I'm making you feel like I'm rejecting you or pushing you away or whatever else. I am not trying to. You know me, Buffy. And you know that's not something I would do to you."

"But you pretty much are. You're refusing to let me even touch you now."

Angel sighed. "It's not like I can touch you either," he pointed out. "And I'm not saying that to accuse or whatever else you might get twisted up about because fuck knows it's not your doing. I'm just stating that's how it is. And it's not the best thing to have ever happened but it's not the end of the world either."

"It's not okay. And those are two very different things, Angel. I have a medical issue, while you very much don't. That is the only thing standing in the way of us on my end. You... I don't even know! All it is from you is really just you saying no about it. How is that not me being rejected? You could be with me in other ways but you refuse."

Only getting more frustrated, he sat at the opposite end of the sofa from her. This was not a conversation he'd previously envisioned having to have. "Buffy... this isn't the same as you and me flirting up a storm or teasing each other into oblivion or whatever else."

"I know that."

"And I just can't get my head around the idea of you doing all that you wish and that it's all one sided. And there's nothing we can exactly do about that for whoever knows how long."

"It's not like I'm over the moon about it," she grumbled.

"And I don't want to make that worse."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Being sexually frustrated or not is not the big picture issue here, Angel. We're both at that point and there's no way we wouldn't be.. we went from how we've been since getting back together basically to pretty much having to be all hands off. There's our history, our feelings for each other, our vigorous desire for each other and that doesn't go away just because we're told we can't actually act on it. I miss you. I miss being with you" she admitted.

Angel felt his heart break a little with the little crack in her voice as she spoke.

"I hate that it's like you're trying to hide the fact of your feelings and I get why but it's still dumb. It's not hurting me to know you're attracted to me through all of this."

"You know damn fucking well that I am," he cut in, his voice softer now.

"Maybe. But it's nice to still be able to be close to you. You keep closing off from me and that has never helped anyone. You don't have to have this mind set of it's all black and white and all this it's unfair to be touched because you can't make sure I get off in the end, too, nonsense. You don't have to shut down the conversation every time we try and even talk about the fact of this situation because you're worried it's going to upset me. I miss you," she repeated. "And more than just yes, I miss making love to you, but just... in ways I can't even seem to explain. I miss being close with you and hate this feeling like you keep pulling away from me."

Angel closed the space between them and gathered her up in his arms. "I'm sorry, love. That was never my intention, I promise... my mind wasn't even going in that direction at all. Honestly, I didn't even give much thought to it even bothering you this much either... I just still don't know where the balance is right now either."

OoOoO

Buffy felt at least a little bit better after she and Angel had talked but it still wasn't a fix for everything yet either. She was trying not to push things but sometimes that was the only choice his stubborn ass would leave her with.

The more she thought about it though, the more enticing some of the ideas floating around in her head became. Getting up from the couch, she carefully made her way up the stairs, and into their bathroom, where Angel was standing in front of the sink, having just finished up shaving the overgrown stubble from his face. Meeting his eyes in the mirror, she slowly walked up, wrapping her arms around him from behind. "Take a bath with me,' she whispered as she lay her head at the spot between his shoulder blades.

"Buffy-," he began, but was interrupted when she stood on her tiptoes to glare at him over his shoulder. "Just a bath, no touching, I swear."

He knew this was a bad idea, but he couldn't very well turn her down after the feelings she had expressed to him earlier. Sitting down his razor, he turned in her arms to face her, "Okay," he whispered, his fingers trailing down the length of her bare arms, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

Unable to bite back her grin of satisfaction, she threw her arms around his neck, pulling him down bringing his lips to her own.

Mentally chastising himself, he spun them so that he could lift her onto the counter next to the sink. Stepping in between her thighs, his arms roamed down her back, pulling her tightly to him, he once again attacked her lips, pouring all of the longing and desire that he'd been holding back these last few weeks into that act of love.

Melting into him, the world seemed to fall away, all she could feel was him. Her thighs wrapped around his own, pulling him tightly to her even as they broke away panting. "No touching," he smirked, gasping, struggling to refill his lungs with oxygen.

Unexpectedly overcome with emotion, she quickly pressed her lips back to his. Unlike their previous kiss, she took her time, exploring him as though it was the first time. "You're perfect," she whispered, her tear filled eyes meeting his. "And I'm sorry. For everything, for the whole fight we had, for the way I've been all over the place. I just love you so much, and I miss everything about not being on bedrest, but most of all I miss us. I know sex is a no go, and I understand the whole were both of limits thing...even if I don't like it. But I can't do this, I need to feel you."

Using his thumb he caught the tears that attempted to escape from the corner of her eyes, "Shhh, beautiful. Trust me. I know the feeling." He'd never been one to handle her tears well."Stay here," he instructed, pressing his lips to her forehead.

She was right, they both couldn't go on like this. He understood everything she said because he felt the exact same way, he was absolutely starved for her. More than making love to her, like she said, he just needed to feel her body against his again.

Walking over to the giant garden tub, he adjusted the temperature, then poured some of her favorite bubble bath into the water. Turning to face her, he stopped just out of her reach, pausing to pull his t-shirt over his head. "Let me," she cut in as she watched him reach for the tie on his sweats. Carefully sliding off the counter top, she pushed her own shorts down, stepping out of them as she took the couple of steps to close the space between them.

He let her push his hands out of the way as she took over the task of un-tieing the drawstring. Holding his breath, he counted back from twenty as her fingers slipped inside his waistband, pushing both his boxers and pants down at the same time, he stepped out of them, kicking them off to the side. He smirked when he caught her staring at his swollen cock, "I'm sorry but you'll have to ignore that," he chuckled reaching to pull her own shirt over her head.

There was that lacy blue bra again.

Reaching around her, he easily flicked the clasp open, swallowing thickly as he watched it slip from her body. Breaking his own rule, he lightly trailed his hand down to cup her breast, his thumbs circling her nipples for just a second before he abandoned the perfect globes to cup her stomach, gliding his hands over its expanse until his fingers reached the straps of her thong.

Needing to lighten the moment, he grasped the elastic, letting it pop softly on her side, before pulling them down her thighs. His arms wrapped around her, holding her steady, as she shimmied them the rest of the way off.

Giving them a second, he held her flush to him, both of them just enjoying the feel of the others skin. Tucking a random hair back behind her ear, he smiled softly at the beauty before him. "I love you."

"I love you more," she told him, swaying in his arms, thinking that there was no way those three little words could possibly encompass the depth of her feelings for him.

Helping her into the steaming water, he waited until she was fully seated, before stepping in himself to sit behind her. His arms instantly circled her wet skin, pulling her to lay back against his chest. Tucking her beneath his chin, he wrapped his hands around to cradle her pregnant belly.

He never knew the true depths of his self control before the last few days, and it was all because of this tiny human that they created. Obviously there wasn't anything on this planet he loved more than his wife, but the feelings he already had for that little moving bump were indescribable… and absolutely terrifying.

He'd been the one who kept insisting that no touching was allowed, but he was the one who couldn't seem to keep his hands to himself. Continuously running trails over her belly, down her thighs, then eventually venturing up to cup her breast. Leaning back, his head fell against the coolness of the porcelain tub, he really needed to get it together.

She was in heaven, she felt as though this was the first time she got to spend with her husband since she was in the accident. Not that he wasn't there for her in every single way, but this was the first time that he was touching her just to touch her… not because he was helping or, or because they were sleeping. Just because he needed her, turning to face him she picked up his bar of Irish spring and climbed onto his lap. His eyes darkened at her movements, but he held his tongue, she hadn't tried to break any rules.

Yet.

Running her hands up his chest, she watched as the white suds bubbled underneath her palms. She massaged his chest, his arms, and around his neck, surprisingly only touching her lips to his for a quick second. Gently splashing the suds off of him, her hands returned to rub over shoulders, coming to rest just below the water's surface against his chest.

Opening his eyes, he glanced down through heavy lids, his eyes meeting her emerald orbs, he could see the question swirling just beneath the surface. Her concern over whether or not what she was doing was okay had his emotions all back in a tangled mess, everything weaving in and out of one another. Being turned on by everything about her... the hesitation which reminded him of years ago, the feel of her that he missed all too damn much these days, hell just having her right here, naked, pregnant, and the most beautiful thing he'd seen in his life, feeling guilty for how she had been taking him trying to just not make things worse, and everything in between circled through his mind for a moment before he grabbed the back of her head, pulling her closer, groaning as her body pressed more into his with the action.

Taking that and his lack of saying anything or attempting to stop her, Buffy continued to let her fingers dance around and enjoy her husband. She scratched at the hair at the nape of his neck, massaged the tense muscles from there down to the top of those broad shoulders. Her fingertips grazed over his chest and down his tone abdomen before daring to tease at the currently most neglected area of his body for just a moment. Her hand craved the feel of him pressed against her but she didn't test the water that much, just let her fingers slide up and down his length a few times before forcing them back up to the middle of his stomach.

Deciding it was only fair to let that slide given he couldn't keep his hands to himself either, Angel ground his jaw tightly and let his head fall back once more as he tried not to lose his bearings at the moment. He could only thank the heavens above when she didn't tread any further than she had.

"I miss you," she whispered.

"I haven't gone anywhere," he promised her softly, even though he knew all too well what she meant.

OoOoO

Buffy was fairly certain that she was going to have to have a bit of an awkward conversation with her doctor soon. Of course she wasn't going to do anything to put herself or the baby in danger but she also kept thinking that at some point something had to give about some more of these bed rest restrictions. She could understand them right now, and could even see how there was a lot of concern about most sexual activities given her condition, but she also wanted to shake the damn woman. Point toward Angel and scream out if she knew that fine piece of work happened to be her husband, that it made this whole situation feel impossible.

Something had to give at some point because she needed more.

The fleeting moments of their bodies pressing into one another, hands roaming long enough to get a quick fill of the other but never lingering more than that, making out until they were both panting like they hadn't filled their lungs in a year still left too much to be desired. Especially as the days seemed to only be growing longer and longer. Angel was doing his best not to repeat the mistakes of being all closed off from her but she wasn't sure anymore if it helped or made things worse. Maybe he was right the whole time after all.

All those jokes about the final trimester of your pregnancy were no longer funny and way too realistic.

She was enjoying all other aspects still of this journey to motherhood but all that had happened because of that stupid accident was for the birds. She hadn't thought it was even possible to hate Darla more than she already had, but each and every time something came up she found rock bottom kept getting lower.

ButImBroken:

Cowritten with Scribes1015!