Saving Him: PAIN

by tarskeewee08

John felt it all coming back to him in waves. Vivid painfully vicious waves that he couldn't stop. His blood rushing to his head he closed his eyes shut tightly and moaned.

Evangeline squirmed feeling him tighten his grip as his nails dug into her skin. She winced, "Owe….what are you doing?" she asked shocked


"I wasn't supposed to go to Mr McGregor's Bar and Tavern. Dad said if he caught me over there again he'd whoop me good. But Jamie lived above it and I just wanted too…..I just wanted too show him my comic book…I swear it! I had no idea that Mr McGregor allowed illegal gambling in the basement of his bar. How would I know that? I was just a fucking kid!"

"John Please…let me go!"


"I was just a kid…I just wanted to see Jamie but he wasn't home… So I walked out of his brownstone and got my bike heading down the sidewalk when I looked in the opened door of the bar I saw Mr. McGregor with some man…The man was yelling at him screaming in Spanish….no in Italian…he wanted his money. Mr. McGregor told him to leave but he kept yelling. The men in the room stood up trying to calm the man but he just got angrier..."

Evangeline hit his arm "Stop Dammit you're hurting me! Let go!" Evangeline saw in horror that he was in some kind of trance. Her wrist was going numb under the pressure and the more he spoke the tighter his grip became.


"Then it went crazy the man pulled a knife and started stabbing Mr. McGregor. I fell backward no I crawled backward on the sidewalk dropping my bike in fear. The men tried to help Mr. McGregor but other men in the bar jumped in and everyone started to fight. They swung chairs and bottles flew through the air. Total murderous mayhem, broke out and I could do nothing but watch in horror. Ms. MClaren came to her window 'Johnny what's going on down there? I'm calling the police!' she shouted. I couldn't move….I just couldn't"

Evangeline bit her lip as he held onto her tighter and she clawed at his hand trying to pry his fingers loose the pain so intense now she was certain he would snap her wrist. What the hell was wrong with him? He spoke while looking at the floor his hair hanging loosely in his face. He was different and he was hurting her badly. Bursting into tear she hit hard hoping to snap him out of it, but he just clung more tightly.


"Then he looked at me. Standing and wiping the blood from his blade against his shirt he looked at me. I tried to rise to grab my bike and run, but my legs didn't move. The bad man walked through brawl as if it wasn't going on and came straight for me. He grabbed me by the throat lifting me from the ground. He brought his face close to mine and his breath smelled of whiskey and rotting teeth "You don't tell what you saw and I let you live boy" is what he said to me. I had to agree. I was so scared. I just wanted to go home. I just wanted to get away from them all."

Evangeline now crying from the pain of his grip and loosing the remaining feeling in his hand fought against him to be released to no avail. Whatever hell he was in she was a reluctant passenger. She had no choice but to absorb the pain and pray that he came back around before he broke her wrist.

"He let me go and I ran….I ran as fast as I could. I ran as far as I could. I just wanted distance between me and him. After running about several blocks I realized I left my bike. My dad's unit would be called and if he saw my bike he would know it was me. He would know that I disobeyed him. So I had to go back I had no choice!"

Evangeline closed her eyes and ignored the pain. She felt some of the pressure lessen on his grip and she steadied her breathing hoping he would come around.


"When I got back my dad and his partner had all the men lined up on the sidewalk on their knees with their hands behind their heads. I walked around the cars on the opposite side of the street stooping low trying not to be seen. My dad was going to get the bad man that killed poor Mr. McGregor. As I approached the long Cadillac I looked up to see the bad man staring at me grinning. He put his finger to his lip to silence me. I made a deal. Stepping back from the car I watched as he pulled away from the curb. My dad didn't look up and I was kind of relieved that the bad man was leaving. That way my dad wouldn't be in danger.….but before I knew what was happening the man stuck a gun out the window….he oh god…he fired and my dad's chest exploded by the gunfire. The men on the sidewalk starting falling dead around him from the rapid gunfire….my dad went falling…"

John let go of Evangeline's wrist finally and screamed bringing his hands to his face. Evangeline gasped from being released and saw the bruising and scratch marks from his hold. Her wrist was turning bluish purple in front of her eyes.

She looked at him screaming and saw that he was sinking fast. She could save him. Or she could watch drown in his own misery. She loved and hated him still. Saving him was the only option. Kneeling in front of him cradling her wounded wrist she reached up and touched his face. He fell from the couch to his knees and grabbed her. She winced at the force but wasn't surprised by it. He buried his face in her chest and clung to her screaming. She stroked his head and cooed to him trying to bring him back around Finding it hard to bend her wounded wrist she moved it out of the way and ignored the pain focusing on the destruction going on before her eyes.

They remained on the floor like this for a half hour and she couldn't believe the torrent of emotion and tears that poured from him. It was all the pain from years of hiding it that pushed him over the edge.

Finally coming around he raised his face and looked at her "I could have saved him. I didn't because I was a coward."

"No baby…you were a nine year old kid, witnessing a brutal crime. Listen to me John….if you hadn't rode your bike over there that day the knife fight would have happened. Your dad's unit would've still been called and that madman would've taken his life. Just as you couldn't prevent that madman from taken Caitlyn's life, or the kidnapping of me and Natalie. John my god you have no control over the fate of others. Let it go baby it's killing you."

John hugged her "I failed you…I hurt you and I let you down"

"You are letting yourself down by reliving one brutal moment in your past and forgetting all the wonderful ones you shared with your father. Life is more than pain and sorrow John it's much more than guilt and regret."

"He died Van, I made a deal with the devil it was dad's soul he took in stead of mine"
"It's okay….let it out all out. Just release it so you can be a whole person again John" she said crying now "I need you to be a whole person it hurts me to bad to see you so broken and destroyed over things that are beyond your control. You can't save the world sweetie Just save yourself!"

John kept his head on the softness of his breast. "I am so glad I have you. I am so glad you are in my arms now" he said squeezing her. Evangeline said nothing. She would help him through this moment but their was too much pain between them for her to commit to anything more.

"Evangeline" he said weakly
"Yes"
"I love you"
"What did you say to me?"
"I love you…."