Saving Him: LOVE

by tarskeewee08

Evangeline pulled back from him "Don't say that to me.."
"What?"
"Don't do that to me please…" She said turning trying to rise from the floor.

John grabbed her hips and pulled her to him. Her legs went from under her as he pulled her toward him. Turning her over she looked up into his tear stained face frightened. "Please John, don't do this not now"
"Why not? Now is the time baby." Pinning her beneath him he touched her face. Evangeline turned her head trying to escape his touch "No, I cant take it."

"Evangeline, please it's true. I LOVE YOU. Its not something I just learned its something I always knew."
"Noooo"
"Yes, you are the most important thing to me…you complete me"
"Nooo"
"I love you for loving me unconditionally"
"John please stop. Don't do this!"
"I can't help it. I need you so desperately. I won't make it without you. I couldn't live without you"

Evangeline burst into tears underneath him and he wiped at them "John.."

"I know you don't trust me…I know I hurt you. But tonight you did what you've always done…you loved me and I can't let you go without returning the favor" he lowered his face to hers and kissed her softly on the lips. She opened her mouth slowly and kissed him then as heart beat hastened and she kissed him more deeply.

Lifting her arms to cling to him she gasped under him as the pain shot through her left wrist. John pulled up and looked at her bruised wrist and his stomach tightened. What had he done? Rising from her he helped her off the floor. Taking her by the hand to the kitchen he got a zip lock and filled it with ice so he could put it on her wrist. She watched him work frantically to reduce the swelling. They were both emotional wrecks tonight and neither knew what to do next.

"I think we should take you to the hospital and get x-rays." He said his voice choking on the pain of knowing he hurt her.

"Why is it so hard John?"

He looked up at her confused

"For us to be happy. Just be happy. I so desperately want normalcy with you. Just love between us and normalcy. Why is that so hard?"

"I guess it's Fear, of loosing the one thing that I always wanted that kept me from you."
Evangeline felt her wrist go numb under the ice and moved his hand that held the ice pack and her hand underneath. "Do you know what LOVE is John?"

"I love you"
"I believe you…but do you know what it is that you feel?"
John looked down at her now swollen wrist. "I feel a lot of things"

Taking his hand she threw the home made ice pack in the sink and led him to her bedroom. Not turning on the light she stood in him the middle of the room. Slowly she helped him out of his suit jacket "Love is trusting someone enough to really be exposed to them."

John moved his arms to help her remove his jacket.

"Love is believing in what you share with that someone to never keep secrets"

John nodded "I swear it Evangeline, I will never hide anything from you again"

"Love is feeling sadness, joy, disappointment, pleasure, contentment, frustration, confusion, clarity, security, fulfillment and even sometimes pain" She said unbuttoning his shirt slowly trying hard not to over use her wounded hand.

"I'm so sorry" he said fighting against the tears that welled up in his eyes. She marveled at the fact that in the year she'd known him he never cried and tonight it's all he did.

Helping him out his shirt it revealed his black sleeveless t-shirt underneath and she kissed his chest. John stopped her from unbuckling his pants. Evangeline looked into his face confused "What's wrong?"

"I can't do this until you understand something."

Evangeline nodded "Okay..'

Taking her hand he led her to the bed. They sat on the plush goose down comforter and he was reminded how her bed was the best sleep he'd ever had. Looking at her face he was he thought of her definition of love and felt it was time he made a final commitment to her.

"I let you down. I told you I wanted strings knowing it would expose you to my inability to give them in return. Sure I paraded you around town as my lady but I never let you in. I never gave us a shot. I lie in bed most nights and watch you sleep terrified that you would wake up one day and see my charade. You'd see through my stall tactics and aversions and quickly leave my side. The day you walked into my office and called me on my shit ripped a whole in my heart. I stumbled through your kidnapping dazed and broken at the thought of never finding you. The pain Van was so deep and so profound it almost cost me my sanity. When I found you tied to that pole with flames at your feet, In that moment I was so afraid that I forgot my senses and wanted to save you first last and most of all. The night I showed up on your doorstep drunk and incoherent I needed you to know this. The liquor and fear that I may be responsible for another person's death kept me back. I really believed I was protecting you. When Natalie came back my fear of facing all the ways I failed you kept me from admitting my love for you. I went to her not because of a choice but because of a need to be empty Van. To remain empty with no worries of having any real emotional ties. Because love and emotion and all that tangled complicated shit in between terrified me since the day I saw my dad die before my eyes."

Evangeline listened transfixed on his words speechless. She'd never heard him speak so honestly and from the heart. It meant more to her than him saying I love you.

"Van, I know what I have in you. I know it because I lost it. I lost you. I won't make that mistake again. You gave me a year of patience and understanding. It's your turn baby" he said touching her cheek.

Evangeline felt the warm rugged touch of his powerful protective hand on her cheek and leaned into it kissing his palm. John grabbed her face and pulled it toward his and kissed her. Looking into her eyes he stopped the kiss and with their foreheads touching he smiled "Now, do you understand how much I LOVE YOU"

Evangeline nodded speechless. Rare that she was actually speechless but he answered every question she had. He loved her. That was enough.

John lowered her to the bed. Lifting her bruised wrist he kissed it gently. She smiled reassuringly and he felt a wave of relief that she forgave him for causing her this pain.
Lowering her hand he went to the buttons of her blouse. Unbuttoning them one at a time he noticed as her eyes closed and smiled. He would make love to every inch of her making sure she was aware of how deep his love ran. Opening her blouse it revealed a lacy salmon colored bra. Taking his hand he softly touched the mounds of her breast that rose out of the bra.

Looking at the front enclosure he slipped his fingers on the button and the bra unsnapped freeing her breast. Lowering his face to her belly he stuck his tongue in her navel and traced it up her stomach in between her breast. Then using his tongue in a circular motion he brought it around her nipple licking at it before taking it in his mouth.

Evangeline sighed as she felt the warmth of his mouth close in around her breast and his tender lips press against her flesh. She felt his hands slip to the side of her skirt grabbing the zipper and pulling it down.

He let go of her breast and removed her skirt. Helping her out of it Evangeline scooted back against the bed and opened her eyes to see him standing now at the bed staring at her lustfully. She smiled at him and he turned and walked out. Sitting up she became confused and listened as she heard in the kitchen doing something. Lying back down she relaxed knowing he wasn't going far. John walked back into the room and put the glass of ice next to the bed. She looked at him curious as he crunched the ice in his mouth while unbuttoning his pants. He winked and smiled and stepped out of his pants then pulled down his boxers. She'd forgotten how beautiful his body was. He climbed on bed and parted her legs. Evangeline closed her eyes and she felt his head lower between them. She discovered what the ice was for and squealed in delight. He blew cold air into her love orifice and then flicked his cold tongue on her g-spot as she grabbed the sheets.

He grabbed her hips and forced his face deeper between her thighs as she completely lost control the ice in his mouth magnified every emotion and drove her pelvis to vibrate continuously. Screaming loudly she clawed at him trying to get him to release her. The orgasm he forced from her weakening her ability to fight and all she could do was sweat and pant under his attack.

Finally achieving his goal he climbed on top of her. The lovemaking that followed became big shocking waves of passion and desire and as he entered her she fought to keep up. His weight on top of her and the way he forced her to work her hips kept her eyes rolling into her head.

The constant barrage of pelvic thrusts made it impossible to control his pace and he exhausted her with his need for her submission. Clawing at his back with her good hand she begged in his ear for him to release her. He smiled shook and his head no. While inside of her he gently grabbed her left leg and pulled it over in front of his chest turning her over and putting her on her stomach. Raising her hips he kept up his pace as she bit her pillow to stifle her cries. Feeling his hand on her back forcing her to press her chest deeper into the mattress while he pleasured him self by taking her from behind on his knees, he drove her orgasm to its threshold. John knowing that she was about to release quickened his pace and met her climax with his own.

When they both yelled out in ecstasy they collapsed with each other back onto the bed. John lying on her back he listened as Evangeline panted and wheezed trying to find the words to express the delight of what just transpired between them. Hearing him panting in her ear he kissed her cheek and she shook her head yes, to signify that she felt the same way. Pulling out of her slowly he rolled off and lay next to her exhausted.

She rolled over and propped herself on her elbow "I….love….you too" she said breathlessly, into his face while kissing his lips.

He looked up at her and smiled "I'm so grateful that you do" he said sweetly