A/N: Seriously. I could have over 160 reviews right now. If you're not going to review, don't read the article, period.
The idea of today's article came from the author The Kirby Emerald. Read his fics, if you must.
Scientists Baffled. Search To Discover Secrets Begin.
By Andrew Solinsky
Today, two baby Gorons were shocked to discover a lone cow living several feet under the ground near the top of the Death Mountain summit.
The Gorons discovered this oddly placed bovine while playing at the top of a slope. There, they noticed a boulder, which they picked up with ease. This revealed a hole. The Gorons, pretending to be brave explorers about to enter a mysterious cave, hopped down into the hole and were shocked to see a cow chewing lazily on its cud.
The Gorons had never seen such a creature before, so, out of fear, they hurriedly ran back to Goron City and alerted Darunia, the leader of the Gorons. He, in turn, alerted the king of Hyrule, who sent a team of explorers and scientists to investigate. Sure enough, there was a cow in the exact same place the Goron children said.
"We were very surprised," said Dave Barker, leader of the expedition. "The only cows that Hyrule has are kept in Lon Lon Ranch and in Impa's house at Kakariko. Somehow this one must've gotten away."
The cow, which was named Project Bessie, was examined by the scientists for any severe injuries or life-threatening diseases. While they performed this task, the explorers studied their surroundings. The only source of food for the bovine was a lone shrub and a small lake for drinking water.
The team led the cow down the mountain and to Lon Lon Ranch, where it was taken in by owners Talon and Malon. The scientists, who had collected an old manure sample, headed back to their labs to conduct a test on to see how long the cow may have been in the hole.
"We are waiting for the analysis report to come back," says Barker. "However, the scientists believe from observation that the cow may have been living in that hole for seventeen years plus."
Barker hopes that this discovery will help further progress in Hylian science.
"If we can learn how the cow managed to survive off of a small pond and a shrub, we can use this information to conserve our food supply in times of famine. Hopefully, this isn't just a freak coincidence."
Copyright March Hylian Times