"Are you asleep?" Angel asked, falling as softly as he could back onto the bed. His head was pounding and he was pretty sure he'd never been more exhausted in his life but he couldn't help but fall more in love with Buffy with every glance, every moment. And there were just no words for what he felt for that little creation she was still holding against her.

"No," Buffy replied. "She fell asleep then started fussing as I was about to come see how much damage was being done back out in the rest of the house so I've just been holding her. I feel like I could fall asleep though."

Angel nodded. He couldn't help but smile at what his room had been transformed into. It wasn't what they had signed up for but he had no complaints. "Are you okay?" he asked, looking up at her.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Never been better," she said with a smile.

"Trying to debate just falling asleep here or if I could withstand the long walk to the bathroom to take a shower," he groaned, not having had one himself since before going to the hospital.

Buffy closed her eyes for a moment. Hospital showers left so, so much to be desired, and she suddenly craved one her own self. "We also still have some bags in the car but nothing we need right in this moment."

Angel groaned in response. He wasn't in any rush to go that far.

"If I can get her to stay asleep in the play pen and maybe you could ask Uncle Lindsey to keep an ear out for her... maybe we could both enjoy a hot shower and then come back in here and pass the hell out for at least a few hours. In theory, hopefully," she added.

OoOoO

"You're gonna do what? I don't think so! There will be no sexing in my damn shower, too! You already ruined my bed, if not the whole room! This is supposed to be my safe place from y'all and your... habits!"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "In case you have forgotten, Lindsey, I just pushed a whole human out of that area, you know. I'm not exactly in a rush for any of that to be going on... no matter how sexy Angel happens to be. I don't think you have to be that worried."

Lindsey acted like he was going to gag. "Alright, well, first of all, can we not phrase it exactly like that please? Too much imagery happening! Secondly, Like I don't know the fucking two of you! I believe you on that as far as I could throw your ass."

Angel just shook his head. "We're going to take a damn shower, we will be back shortly, and then I'm going to fucking sleep I hope," he told him before grabbing Buffy's hand and leading her toward the bathroom. She made a face and shrugged back at Lindsey as he stood there staring daggers at the two of them.

OoOoO

Stepping in the shower she couldn't help but feel a little nervous. Sure they had the one night together, and the quick shower together before the hospital, and he'd just witnessed her push a whole entire baby out of her body, but they hadn't exactly spent any time like this, in the light of day. There was no rush to touch one another, or fear of getting to a hospital on time, it was just them...

Together.

Standing under the warm spray she lathered her hair, and rinsed the soap from her face. Turning back around, she opened her eyes only to find Angel's slowly taking her in, totally unashamed; his gaze raked over each of her curves. With a deep breath, she reached out, and twined her fingers with his, needing him closer.

Despite his exhaustion he found he was unable to keep his hands to himself as he took over the task of undressing her. Softly kissing the side of her neck, he watched as she slipped behind the shower curtain, closing his eyes he counted to twenty before he let himself strip his own clothes and join her. He was running on next to no sleep and still he couldn't stop his body's reaction to her, he couldn't help but get lost in the beauty before him, staring as she stood under the hot water.

Flashes of another shower they shared together flitted through his mind, as he thought about the fact that once again there was a no touching rule between them. As much as he loved the sight of her full and pregnant with his child, he wasn't sure how long it would be for him to sign up for this again.

There was only so much a man could take, and after the fucking roller coaster ride they had been on these last few months, he was about ready to snap. He fucking missed her with a ferociousness he didn't even know was possible, sure they had been together near constantly these last few days - of which he wouldn't trade for the world- but he missed her body. He missed being able to take comfort in her, he missed the feel of her beneath him, he fucking ached to touch her.

He'd nearly gotten lost in his own head, deep in his own fantasy, when he felt her tugging on his hand. Without hesitation he stepped forward, wrapping his arms around her. Not giving her time to object, he pressed his lips on hers as he tried to pour everything he was feeling, everything he was thinking, into that simple act. His control slipping, he dug his fingers into the bare skin of her thighs.

Needing her more than he needed air, he continued his assault, and even as she broke away gasping desperately trying to fill her lungs, his lips never left her, teasing his way down her neck instead. He knew she had just given birth, he knew what was off limits -and rightfully so- but he just couldn't get past his need to feel her.

"Angel we-" she began.

"We're not," he groaned, cutting her off, before resuming his trail along her skin.

Her heart ached, she hated that she couldn't give him what he needed right now, she hated that she couldn't get lost in him. She loved her daughter more than anything in this world, but she wasn't sure she could ever go through this again. It was torture. Especially now that they had been apart for so long, it was like her soul craved him even though he was right next to her. Pressing her lips back to his again, she traced the water droplets down his body until her hand disappeared between them, her fingers seeking out his rigid flesh.

Her hands dancing around him, she guided him back into the cool shower wall. "We can't," he sighed, pulling away, using her own words against her.

"We're not," she whispered, nibbling his ear.

His head fell back against the cool tile as he fought to grasp onto any fragment of self control he may have left, though it wasn't looking good. Squeezing his eyes closed, he tried to focus on anything other than her soft hand wrapped firmly around his cock.

It was too much.

"Let me touch you," she whispered, drawing his mouth back down to hers.

Groaning, he pulled back just enough to look into her eyes, "You don't have," he started.

"I want to," she rushed out, not sure she would be able to stand it if he forbade her from touching him again. Tracing his brow, she stood on her tiptoes to nip at his jaw, "Please?"

Opening his eyes, he focused in on that adorable pout he'd missed so much. Pulling her mouth to his again, he let himself get lost in her for a few more moments before he forced himself to pull away. Smirking down at her, he inched his hands up her smooth curves and tried his best to relax back up against the wall. "I'm yours," he whispered, the faintest smile playing on his lips.

Doing the best she could, days after having a baby anyway, she slowly sank down the length of him, leaving a series of quick random kisses along her way. Braced on her knees, she took a second to admire the sight of him, hard and pulsing inside her palm. She wasn't sure how many times she'd thought about this since her accident all those months ago, she missed knowing she could still make him feel this way.

Darting her tongue out, she swirled it around his engorged flesh for a few seconds until she felt one of his hands tangle in her hair, his silent plea for more. One hand gripping his thigh she slowly inched forward, taking his hard length as far as she could manage.

Almost instantly, his deep groans began to fill the air around them as he struggled to keep it together, wanting to draw this moment out, need it to last.

OoOoO

Lying across Angel's bed, he couldn't help but stare at the brand new little girl that he got the honor of calling his niece. Completely obsessed with the tiny being, he nearly missed the faint sounds coming from the room next door. "Those motherfuckers," he whispered harshly, quickly moving little Lindsay back to the safety of her bassinet. "Hang tight, Princess, Uncle Lindsey will be right back."

Storming down the hall, he knew better than to trust the two of them, "Oh I just had a baby Lindsey, Oh Angel's too sexy Lindsey, I couldn't listen to doctors orders if my life depended on it Lindsey," he muttered as he began to pound on the door.

OoOoO

His hips were moving to their own accord, his fingers tangled in her hair as he struggled to let her maintain this control. He'd just begun to feel that familiar pooling in his groin when the bathroom door rattled on its hinges. He was going to fucking kill him, that was all there was to it.

"Don't stop," he pleaded, his eyes falling closed as she took him to the back of her throat once again.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me! Angel!" Lindsey shouted from the other side of the door. "Buffy! Angel! Knock it the fuck off in there!"

"Fuck off, Lindsey!" Angel shouted back before pushing anything and everything that had to do with his best friend back out of his mind. It wasn't that hard to ignore the world around him after the brief interruption, too wrapped up in what his wife was doing to his body. He didn't fucking care if Lindsey busted in here, as long as she didn't take her mouth off of him.

He was fairly certain Lindsey gave up and disappeared but as pleasure started ripping through his body he couldn't have cared one way or the other.

He was still panting as he carefully helped her back to her feet, flipping her around so she was the one pushed up against the tile, his lips closing over hers, his body pressing into hers. "I love you," Buffy breathed out, her hands rubbing slowly up and down his back.

"I missed you," he whispered before tasting her, tasting himself on her lips again. "I love you so fucking much, Buffy, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry for every single thing that has ever gone wrong between us. I just want you, I want us, I need to be with you. I can't fucking breathe when I'm not."

Buffy pulled him even closer to her, her heart breaking as he buried his way back in the crook of her neck. "I would never in a million years hurt you."

"I know," she whispered, swallowing hard. "I promise that the bigger part of me knows that, Angel. I just... I handled everything in the worst possible way, I know that and I am sorry beyond words. I should have known better, I was just shocked and I don't even know what. It shouldn't have effected me as bad as it did nor should it have taken me this long to get back to you so we could fix this."

"I just care that you're here now, that you're in my arms, that you're mine again." Angel pulled back a little so he was able to look at her and question for sure whether or not that was the case.

"I have always been yours, Angel," Buffy told him, her hands coming up to cup his handsome face. "Nothing in this world can ever change that. I always will be."

OoOoO

Lindsey glared at both of them as they finished the shower, got dressed and walked together back to the room. "What happened to oh, Lindsey, Buffy just had a baby so you have nothing to worry about? It's perfectly fine if we go jump in a shower together? Blah the fucking blah blah!"

Buffy started blushing while Angel threw him a round of dirty looks. "She did just have a baby!"

"Uh huh, well obviously something horrible was happening in there!" Angel rolled his eyes. "You know, I don't come to y'all's house and start doing the dirty all over your house nor on the rare times you've been here have I made either of you bare witness to any such thing. You are terrible hosts and guests I just want to point out. And you had better have cleaned up whatever the hell you did in my bathroom."

As Lindsay started waking up again, Angel smirked at her latest round of showing she had her own sense of perfect timing.

After a few more minutes of gripping at them, Lindsey said he was done dealing with the lot of them for the day and was going to go crash on the couch. Not before reminding Angel once more they needed to get him a new bed come tomorrow though.

Climbing into bed himself once the door shut behind Lindsey, he curled up with Buffy and their perfect little newborn as they got settled beside him. He didn't know what he had done in this life to have had the chance to have either one of these young women be part of his life but he thanked whatever forces were behind it. No matter how much he went through with Buffy no where else ever felt like home than being in her presence, he knew that he would never love anyone else his entire life. There was no denying he would try a million times over to make things work between them if that is what it took, as long as she was willing to try along with him.

After getting another feeding and diaper change in, the proud new parents both cuddled the little one, whispering words of love and admiration to her until she was fast asleep. Once Buffy carefully laid her back down in the playpen and said one more loving goodnight, she curled back up against him, their bodies as close as they could manage right now.

Exhausted, sleep came easily enough.

OoOoO

Buffy's entire face lit up like it was Christmas morning as the gang started to arrive, starting with Willow and Tara. Willow pulled Buffy into a tight hug and explained Cordy and Xander would be in later today and Giles might be a couple of days but he would be on his way to come see them and meet the tiny one. She would have given anything for them to have all been together in the waiting room and been able to see Lindsay soon after she was born but it didn't seem to matter much once they all sat down and passed her around, her heart swelling up as she watched the two women ooh and ahh at her daughter, laughing and smiling, tears in Willow's eyes as she told her how perfect Lindsay was and how proud she was of her.

Angel had been a bundle of nerves over the idea of the group coming out but she knew this time was so different than the last, it was night and day. Everyone had of course understood that she had a hard time seeing Angel and Darla in such a way but each and every single one of them had only pushed and tried to encourage her to reach back out to him and to work things out. Xander had even gotten mad at her at one point and refused to speak to her for almost a week.

They loved him, too. They already lost him in their own way once and didn't want to again, not after everything, and they were all concerned in their own ways about him after what had happened, too.

Willow had rushed up to him and threw her arms around him before she even got to Buffy and he'd stood there wide eyed looking over at her with a 'what in the hell?' look on his face but it only made her smile. Willow was the only person she'd given a heads up about coming out here before she left Sunnydale and California behind too, and she was surprised the redhead hadn't come over and packed her bags for her and kicked her butt all the way to the car, telling her to run like the wind.

She was just glad she had listened to the voice inside her head, and not waited any longer. Knowing now how quickly Lindsay made her appearance, she refused to even imagine what could have happened had she gone into labor on the drive out here. Though she would bet money that her and Angel's activities that night had given everything a little kick start.

Scooting over, she snuggled into her husband's side, as she continued to watch the two of them pass their little girl back and forth.

"So, I take it you two are all better now," Willow asked, her eyes leaving their daughter to look over at them curled up together on the couch together.

Lacing her fingers with his, she smiled, "We're getting there." The truth was, this whole making up business was hard to do after just having a baby. Especially now that she'd had some rest and was starting to feel a bit more like her old self. She was so fucking over this whole recovery period, the thought of them still having weeks to go was nearly too much for her to stand. It wasn't like she was ready to jump back into bed right then, but she was beyond ready for that decision to be theirs again, this whole off-limits business was for the birds.

Willow nodded, as she reluctantly handed the baby back over to Tara ."Any idea on when the three of you might come home?"

Feeling Angel tense beside her, she shared a quick glance with him before returning her attention back to her red haired friend. "Umm, well actually… I don't think we're going back, at least not permanently."

Both Willow and Tara's head shot up to look at her, "What do you mean," Will finally managed, as her words sunk in.

Taking a deep breath, she tried her best to brace herself for their reactions. This wasn't really a conversation she'd been looking forward too, and she had kind of hoped she could get by with only having it once, after everyone was here, but obviously that wasn't going to happen. "We're staying here," she paused. "Well not here as in Lindsey's here, but Oklahoma here. Angel already closed on a house, we should be able to move in a few weeks."

Buffy watched as her eyes filled with tears, she was just about to start panicking, when Willow jumped off the couch and awkwardly threw her arms around the two of them. "I'm so happy for the two of you."

Buffy nearly lost it at the look on Angel's face when Willow all but threw herself on them. "Thanks Will," she told her once she was back on her own two feet.

Taking a seat next to Buffy, she couldn't believe they were really moving out here, but she could understand it. That house held a lot of memories for them, she imagined it would be hard to start over with all that baggage constantly in your face. She would miss her greatly, but at the end of the day she just wanted her to be happy, and clearly her happiness was Angel. "Wait, what are you going to do about the house? What about all of your stuff, all of Lindsay's stuff that's still there?"

Buffy just shrugged again, "We haven't had a whole lot of time to get everything figured out. I'm sure we will have to either hire movers, or wait till Lindsay's a bit older and can travel. Either way, we'd appreciate it if you could maybe get the mail for a couple times a week."

Lindsay began to fuss wrapped in Tara's arms, just as Willow told her that the mail shouldn't be a problem since her house wasn't far from either of their offices. Gently taking the little one back from Tara, she quickly told them she was probably hungry as she made her way back to the bedroom. It still took her awhile to get a good latch, and no matter how natural it was, she just wasn't comfortable feeding her in front of other people yet.

OoOoO

Angel quickly excused himself to follow behind his wife, not too much caring for her out of his sight just yet. "Did you get her on?" he asked, easing onto the bed next to her.

She nodded, though her eyes were locked onto their daughter. "I sort of had an idea."

Cautiously he glanced back and forth between the two of them. "I'm afraid to ask," he winced.

Looking up, she couldn't help but laugh at the expression painted across his face. "Chill," she sighed. "No, I wanted to see what you thought about maybe letting Willow and Tara rent the house."

After everything, he couldn't care less what happened to the damn house, but he knew it was her mothers, and selling it may not be the easiest thing for her. He shrugged, "Have you asked her about it?"

Chewing on her bottom lip, she shook her head, "No, honestly the idea just kind of hit me a few minutes ago. Plus I wanted to ask you."

Stroking their daughters cheek, he placed a quick kiss to the top of the little hat she was wearing. "I think it sounds like a great idea, technically we would still own the house, and you know they would take care of it. Plus without the worry of getting it on the market, we could take our time getting everything moved."

"I love you," she grinned, leaning her head on his shoulder. She really hadn't been sure how he would react to the idea of not selling the house, she knew everything that happened there, but despite it all, a part of her couldn't wrap her head around selling her mother's home. Obviously she would have had it come down to the house or him, but it still would have hurt.

Rolling over, he took care not to bump the baby as he leaned over and began peppering kisses up the side of her neck. "I love you more, beautiful," he whispered, his mouth hovering just above her ear.

Turning her head, she pressed her lips to his in what she had intended to be a quick kiss. Though when she felt him against her, she couldn't help but take him in, her free hand trailing around his neck in an attempt to pull him closer.

"I swear, the fucking two of you are worse than damn teenagers."

Groaning, Angel forced himself to pull away from her soft lips, grabbing the edge of the comforter he quickly used it to cover Buffy from his view. "Ya know, I almost forgot what a cock block you can be."

Buffy blushed, "We were just kissing Lindsey," she told him as she swapped out the comforter for one of Lindsay's baby blankets.

"Uh-huh," he nodded, pushing himself off the door way. "Well anyways, I just wanted to let y'all know the rental place called, I'm going to run Willow and Tara up there to pick up the car," he sighed, still not sure how to feel with the two of them back all over each other.

Angel nodded then smirked over at him. "Take your time."

Buffy blushed some more and rolled her eyes while Lindsey tried to hide his own amusement at his . "Ha ha. I better not come home to any more of my house being tainted by the fucking two of you."

"We'll behave," Buffy promised and Angel shook his head.

OoOoO

Laying Lindsay down on Angel's chest not long after, Buffy curled up against the two of them, closing her eyes and just enjoying the moment. She knew Lindsey would be in a rush to get back and soon enough the rest of the gang would be out visiting too so she also took the time to enjoy the quiet, the moment of just the three of them.

A lot had happened all in a rush, it was still hard to believe this was real life. So much of the time she felt like she was watching from the outside, or perhaps everything was just a dream and she was imagining things working out like this in the end.

"I think it is hitting me a little bit," she said softly, just as she felt a wave of sleepiness starting to hit her. "Now with Willow and Tara here and I'm sure as the others arrive as well... that I'm going to miss them, how different it will be to again be states away from them and everything."

Angel tensed up a little. "You don't have to have to be, Buffy. No one is forcing you to choose between being here or being in Sunnydale or anything like that. I hope you know that, Beautiful."

"I know, Angel and before you start with any of those familiar dark thoughts... I'm not changing my mind about us or starting over out here together, either. I'm just saying it's going to be an adjustment. I fully believe it's something we need, a fresh start, again, getting away from the drama back home and putting distance between us and some of those memories... and I keep picturing us in that house, her growing up here, hell even having Lindsey being the go to person for us instead of someone like Willow and Xander and it makes me beam with happiness. But it is saying goodbye to a lot of things, too. I'm still taking it all in, that's all."

Angel twisted his head to the side to kiss her temple. "I know, not everything we are leaving behind is terrible either. We can go visit as much as you possibly want too, but I know it's not the same. I don't want you feeling like you're being pressured into anything, Buffy."

"I'm not," she promised him.

ButImBroken:

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