A/N: Sorry for not updating yesterday. Had much to do…
Man Loses Job. Citizens Baffled.
By Josh Sturm
Mr. George Hammerstein of Kakariko Village was arrested yesterday for refusing to turn down his music. While citizens tried to sleep, Hammerstein, inside of the Kakariko Windmill, playeda polka-esque song over and over and over again.
At two o'clock in the morning, a castle guard alerted by angry citizens came into the windmill and asked Hammerstein to stop playing and go to bed. Hammerstein refused, claiming that the music he made was what made the windmill turn. The guard asked him once again, and after refusing a second time, Hammerstein was dragged out of the windmill and placed under arrest.
According to Hammerstein, he had been playing inside of the windmill ever since it was erected fifteen years ago. He even claimed that it was his job to stay inside of the windmill to make sure that it ran.
After checking with a Hylianlog of citizenship, it was clarified that it was indeed Hammerstein's job to stay inside the windmill and make sure that it ran properly.
However, this baffled citizens. Even though Hammerstein claimed his music was what made the windmill turn, the windmill continued to run nonstop until certain circumstances happened, none of them involving a cease of polka music. After questioning Hammerstein some more, the guards found out that the only thing the man did inside the windmill was play his songs over and over again, completely oblivious to the windmill itself.
Hammerstein was fired by Impa, head of Kakariko, for negligence of his duty.
Without a man to look after the windmill, the citizens of the village began to wonder what would happen. What if something horribly wrong was to take place and none of them could fix it? Zelda made an appearance to address this issue early in the morning.
"My dear citizens," stated the head of Hyrule in a drowsy manner. "Hammerstein did nothing with the windmill. He said so himself. The windmill has been running with few problems in the past and has always corrected itself. It will continue to do the same. Thank you."
After a few minutes of discussion, the citizens of Kakariko agreed that nothing would happen to the windmill and proceeded in going back to sleep.
Copyright April Hylian Times