Traveling Salesman Rushed To Hospital.
By Andrew Solinsky
Just today, many citizens of Hyrule watched in awe as Mr. Ike Leeman was rushed to the hospital, suffering from extreme dehydration and severely dry skin.
Leeman, a traveling salesman, has justrecently set up shop in the middle of the Haunted Wasteland, a large area of land just west of Gerudo Valley with an extreme desert climate. Leeman's shop consists of only a magic carpet, which flies haphazardly over a pit of quicksand.His only item consists of Bombchus, which he gladly sells to anyone who are daring enough to visit him.
However, a desert climateis probably not the best place to set up shop. A Gerudo traveler found Leeman lying face down on his carpet with extremely red and dry skin. The Gerudo immediately turned back and alerted authorities, who entered the wasteland to save Leeman. He was then rushed to the hospital and is currently being treated in intensive care.
The doctors at the hospital are very surprised that Leeman is even alive. Apparently, Leeman lost so much of the water in his body that his cells have to struggle just to keep alive. While Leeman is currently receiving sips of water every now and then, his skin is being moisturized by highly-trained manicurists who volunteered to bring the man's skin back to health. They also said they would make it extra smooth, free of charge.
Leeman is already sitting up in bed and talking as if nothing ever happened. He says he hopes to get out of the hospital as soon as he can and get back to his station in the Haunted Wasteland.
"Business has been rather poor, yes," said Leeman, "but I still hope to get back to the shop and continue to sell Bombchus to the public. The first five-hundred get two sets of Bombchus for the price of one!"
While the "public" in the Haunted Wasteland may be limited, Leeman plans to go back to the shop in about two weeks.
Copyright April Hylian Times