Have I mentioned that I don't like Logan?
"Hello?"
"Did I wake you?"
"Rory?" Lorelai turned on the lamp next to her bed. "Sweetie, what time is it?"
"It's late for you these days. I'm sorry. I should have waited until tomorrow."
"Honey, what's up," Lorelai asked as she pushed herself up in bed.
"I went to dinner tonight at Logan's."
"And? Isn't that a good thing? You said he was more into being the steady boyfriend than he was being once in a while date lately."
"Yeah but," Rory paused, not sure how to continue.
"What?"
"They didn't like me."
"What?"
"I'm not good enough apparently."
"What? Do they know you're a Gilmore?"
"It's not about that. Since I wasn't raised to be a wife who backs up her husband's decision and was instead raised to be my own person, I'm not Huntzberger material."
"Oh honey."
"I can't decide who was worse. Logan's mother or his grandfather."
"Oh, how is Shira?"
"You know Logan's mom?"
"From many moons ago. I think the last time I saw her I was a freshman in high school and she was a junior at Sarah Lawrence. She'd just gotten engaged to Mitchum and we were all at a party. She got plastered and tried to grope Chris."
"Mom! I do not need to hear that she tried to grope Dad." Rory shuddered on her end. "Anyway, his mom starts in about the lovely Fallon girl and how come Logan doesn't see her anymore?"
"In front of you?"
"Right there at the table."
"Then what happened?"
"Logan said they were being ridiculous and we left. But he was so quiet on the way home. He didn't say a word to me. I'm afraid he's going to bolt."
Lorelai bit her lip to keep what she was thinking inside.
"Mom?"
"Can I say something? Something you might not want to hear?"
"Go ahead."
"Maybe you should let him."
"What?"
"Honey, forcing someone to do something they're not ready to do never works."
"I did not force him."
"I know, but-"
"Hold on, someone's at the door."
Lorelai waited and she listened. It was a short conversation but at the end all was well in Rory and Logan land.
"Mom?"
"I heard. Have a nice night sweetie. Talk to you later."
"Bye."
Lorelai hung up the phone with a feeling of dread. She put the phone down and slid down under her covers. She had a bad, bad, bad feeling about her daughter's new boyfriend. With all the boys Rory had been involved with she had been apprehensive but this was the first time she dreaded any news about their relationship. With Dean, she didn't have to worry, at least the first time they'd been together, and with Jess there had been Luke and his 'every ten minutes' interruption.
Lorelai smiled wryly. Who would have thought she'd ever long for the days when her daughter dated a dark-haired punk with a smart mouth and no visible ambition?
She looked at her nightstand. There was a triple frame sitting on it. On one end there was a picture of Rory and Jess because, like it or not and married or not, having Luke's baby made Jess her family, and in the middle was a picture of her and Luke from Liz's wedding. The last space was empty because that's where a picture of her babies would go. However Lorelai's gaze focused in on the image of Luke.
God she missed him. With absolute longing she wanted him here for her to talk to about all her worries involving Logan and Rory. She wanted him here when she woke up in the morning and when she went to bed at night.
There were times when it got to the point where she'd pick up the phone and start dialing only to firmly remind herself that Luke was no longer hers to pour her heart out to. So, in place of a conversation she'd started writing letters to him. She pulled out the notebook from the side of her bed and turned on the lamp.
Dear Luke,
Well, here I am again. It's the middle of the night and all I want is to hear your voice telling me that Rory's a smart kid and that she will be okay. I so need to hear that right now because frankly I'm scared out of my mind here.
I don't like this kid. From the moment I met him at the awful vow renewal I have not liked this kid and what his actions are turning my daughter into. She, Paris, and Lane were all here last weekend having boy problems. Lane's were a simple misunderstanding and Paris is trying to fix hers but it's Rory's I'm the most worried about.
He's like Christopher. I know I've said this about her other boyfriends but I only saw flashes of it where they were concerned. With Dean it was the hair and the build and something in the eyes and with Jess it was his 'screw the world 'cept for me and my girl' attitude. But Logan is like Christopher reincarnated. He is spoiled and selfish and when I was around Chris I didn't care about anything but us and I don't want that for Rory. She deserves better than some spoiled brat whose family doesn't think she's good enough. Oh that's right, I didn't tell you about that part, did I? Apparently, the Huntzberger's think my daughter, Richard and Emily's angel, is not good enough for the heir apparent of the Huntzberger family fortune, name, and business. This is beginning to sound like a Jane Austen novel.
There are times when I close my eyes and I can see Satchelle all grown up and finding her first love. Won't that be fun? You gave Dean Hell when Rory started going out with him especially after the first break-up so naturally I wonder what you'll do when our baby girl starts to date. But then I remember that you might not be there and the image I have in my head goes away.
Lately, I've been thinking about how people say girls always look for guys like their dad. Well, if that's true then Rory has been looking for Christopher all this time in the guys she dates and she's finally found the guy who will promise to be there and then disappear just like Chris always did. I've been thinking I owe Rory an apology for all the years I let Chris play suddenly be there and then just as suddenly not be there with us.
God Luke, as much as I don't want to sound like, be like, or in any way, shape, or form resemble my mother, I have to admit this. I don't think this kid is right for Rory. I've never felt this strongly about that fact before. I came to love Dean because he loved my daughter, I tolerated Jess for the same reason even though he was scared to love my daughter and let her love him and that ended up costing him their relationship but Logan does not love her the way she deserves and it bothers me that it seems not to bother Rory. She deserves so much better than him. She deserves someone who will love her because she is insane not in spite of it. Someone whose family will welcome her with open arms and be proud to have her as a member.
But worrying about the future is useless. It's the right now that matters and right now, I'm just plain worried for her heart and tired from worry and I want to sleep.
I miss you, did I mention that?
Love always,
Lorelai
"I thank you for the opportunity, Mr. Huntzberger, but I have to say no," Rory said to Logan's father.
"I see. May I ask why the hell not?"
"Two reasons." Rory smiled, "The first is my mom. She's pregnant and I want to be available to her and I don't think I could be if I was working for you."
"I see. Congratulations."
"Thank you."
"And the other one?"
"I'm not interested in assuaging the guilt you feel over the abominable way your family behaved the other night."
"Fair enough. Thank you for being honest."
"Thank you," Rory said. She watched Logan's dad leave and then turned to Paris. "Hey did I tell you that my mom said Logan's mom tried to grope my dad when they were kids?"
"Ugh!"