Chapter 14: Five Years in Your Shoes

The afternoon crept by, as lazy summer afternoons are often wont to do. For a while, I played catch with Nate outside while Lila's after-school shows flashed by on the TV. After that, Clint and I fell to catching up on the many farmstead chores that we'd left undone while we'd been following Thera and Vi around. Wood needed to be chopped, clothes washed, floors swept, tiles scrubbed, cobwebs removed, and of course at some point we would actually need to eat. After a bit of pouting and complaining, I finally managed to get Lila to go around the rooms with a feather duster and load the dishwasher while I headed outside with the ax and a determined expression on my face. While the job normally fell to Clint or Coop, I personally found it quite therapeutic, and right now I had some serious thinking to do.

"Gloves, check? Goggles, check," I muttered to myself, as I lined up my first victim. I swung the ax, and with a vicious 'crack' the log split apart into two neat halves, "Now…"

"Now maybe you should start thinking about why you've come over all messianic," said my little inner voice, "Clint's right, honey; why are you doing this?"

"Oh. You're back."

"I come and go. You know that. But why?"

"Someone-" I swung the ax with a grunt of exertion, splitting another log in twain, "-has to, don't they? Why not me?"

"Because even yesterday you were attempting to abdicate responsibility."

"A lot can change in a day."

"Harsh truths have that effect. Don't play dumb, Laura; you know why Thera and Vi wanted you to go to that Blip Centre. They didn't want you to see Bulgakov; hell, they didn't even know he was being tortured! They wanted you to see the plight of the people who were trapped there."

"Why?" I said, and hefted another piece onto the stump.

"Because they were betting that it'd spur you into action? That Blip Centre clearly got to Thera, and Clint's right; you're just like him."

"No, I'm not!"

"You can't lie to me, girl, I'm you," there was an internal sigh, "Look; you're kind, you're compassionate, and you hate seeing people in pain. Those're great qualities, but once they worked that out they knew exactly what they needed to do to put the squeeze on."

"Okay, but then why us?"

"You tell me."

I growled irritably and swung the ax much harder than I intended. It smashed through a log, leaving kindling in its wake, and embedded itself deep in the stump underneath.

"Goddamnit!" I swore, and tugged fruitlessly at the stuck ax, "Now see what you've made me do?"

"Uh...sorry?" Clint's voice came from behind, and I jumped.

"Oh, no - not you, hon," I said, "I was...arguing with myself. Did you know I can be really irritating?"

"You've just realised that?" he grinned, and held up the list from the fridge, "I was going to go shopping. Anything else you want?"

"Is wine on there?"

"Um...no," he said, "What do you want?"

"Dunno. Something strong."

"Good choice, madam," he said, "That's an excellent vintage."

"Careful," I said, warningly, "I do have an ax."

"Only when you get it out of that stump," he said, "Need a hand?"

"Please," I snorted, and braced one foot against the wood, "I do this all the time when you're deployed. I just...need...to...pull-"

The ax came loose and I staggered backwards, carefully directing the blade away from my husband.

"See? Nothing to it," I said, "Now get going! You're going to have to hurry if we're going to eat before eight!"

It only took me another half hour to reduce the remainder of the woodpile to matchsticks. While I wasn't any closer to answering Clint's question, I'd worked up a sweat and felt a whole lot better. Sure, my arms felt like they were about to fall off, but I'd been meaning to tone up before summer anyway.

"Just like last summer, and the summer before that…"

"Yeah, yeah," I muttered, and kicked off my boots, "Maybe I'll take up running again, or cycling-"

"That's an excellent idea."

"It is?"

"Buying an expensive bike would let you roll a mid-life crisis, a post-life crisis, and a fitness regime into one neat little package. That's efficiency."

"That's Laura Barton v2.0. I'm telling you, this is my summe-"

The front door banged open, noisily, and Coop staggered in followed by a tall, strangely familiar girl with short curly hair. He was clutching at his nose and had dried blood all over his nose and mouth, and from the looks of it one of his eyes was already darkening into what promised to be a spectacular shiner.

"C'mon, Coop," the girl was saying encouragingly, "Let's go sit you down so's I can take a look at these injuries. Your first aid kit where it used to be?"

"Coop?" I said, with a mixture of alarm and anger, "Coop! What on earth happened?"

The girl looked up in surprise, and then her eyes widened further as she saw me striding down the hallway. For a moment, she seemed to be struck completely dumb.

"Well, Coop?" I said sternly, "Have you been fighting again?"

"Oh, no," said the girl, recovering quickly, "Coop weren't fighting. I saw it all. It was Zachary, from my boxing club. He…"

"...didn't like that 'a damn Blippie' was talking to Maria, Mom," Coop said, and sat down heavily on a kitchen chair, "Apparently he was going to ask her out before the Blip, but then-"

"You snooze, you lose," the girl said cheerfully, as she took down the first aid kit and flipped it open, "'Sides, Zachary weren't ever going to ask Maria out. He's too chickenshit- um...if you'll pardon my language, Mrs B."

"Hold on - you're not Maria?" I paused, and gave her another long look. She was very familiar, and there was only one person who had ever called me 'Mrs B'... "Wait...Maisie?"

The girl stopped rooting through the first aid kit and gave me a small smile, "Been a while, Mrs. B."

"Christ," I said wonderingly, "Look at you! You're all...grown up!"

"Yeah," she said, quietly, "Five years'll do that."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"No, it's okay!" Maisie said quickly, "Do you have some ice, Mrs B? He's going to need it for that eye. I'll get this blood off and clean that cut."

"Sure," I said, and went to the freezer for some ice cubes, "So what happened, Coop?"

"Zachary was pissed off that I was talking to Maria, Mom!" he said, angrily, "I didn't want to fight him or anything, but then he just hit me in the fac- ah, damnit!"

"Sorry," said Maisie. She was dabbing at his face with a sterile wipe, "I know it stings. Anyway, I were out running and heard all the commotion, and turned up just in time to see Zachary take him down. I intervened before he could get properly stuck in."

"She was pretty awesome, Mom," Coop said, "That guy looked like he was going to wet himself."

"Yeah? Well, just wait until our next club session," Maisie said, dangerously, "Assuming Dad doesn't just ban him outright, I'll make sure he'll be doing push-ups until his arms explode. It's for self-defence, not hitting people 'cause they were talking to a girl you like."

"Hold on - 'Dad'?" I gave her a quick look, "But you don't have a-"

"My adoptive Dad. My mom...was Snapped."

"Oh, Maisie. I'm so sorry," I said, and my heart went out to her, "You lost so much that day, didn't you."

"It's okay, Mrs B," she said, although there was a slight waver in her voice, "You know my mom weren't really a good person. My new family's much better. Really."

"You'll have to tell me all about them."

"Sure. But let's patch up Coop first, eh?" she said, and turned to my son, "Honestly, the one time you could've hit back and you didn't. What gives?"

"Didn't want to just start brawling in front of Maria," he said, "Figured I'd take the high road."

"How very gentlemanly. You realise Zach could've really hurt you, right?" she paused, "I'd be careful with Maria, too. She seems nice, but...whenever there's drama, she's somehow involved."

I finished wrapping the ice cubes in a towel, and handed them to Maisie.

"Thanks, Mrs B," she said briskly, "Right, Coop. Just hold this to your eye and keep it there for twenty minutes. Wait forty minutes, and then repeat it again until you go to bed. Got it?"

"Yeah," he said, "Thanks, Maisie. You're a lifesaver."

"Just doin' my good turn for the day," said Maisie, and added quickly, "It was good to see you again, Mrs B. I'm glad you're keepin' well...but I need to get back to my run. My folks're expecting me."

"You're not staying?" I said, with some surprise, "Can't I at least get you a glass of water?"

Maisie stiffened slightly, and a mixture of guilt and anxiety crept across her face, "Um. I probably shouldn't. I…"

"Is this about Lila? I heard about what happened at school."

"I messed up, Mrs B," she said, sadly, "It was the one time I really needed not to, and instead I messed it up so badly it ended up on the Internet."

"I know," I said gently, "But Maisie, you are far from the only person who's screwed up after the Blip. Take me, for example; I spent most of a month in complete denial, almost wrecked my marriage, and punched Nate's PTA chair in the face!"

"I saw the video," she said, with another small smile, "You should've broken your wrist."

"So I've heard," I've said, "It's...not my proudest moment. But we all make mistakes, and unlike Liv, Lila's not the sort to hold a grudge. You know that."

"...yeah," she said, and smiled wistfully, "I know."

"So why not talk to her? Whatever happens, it's gotta be better than just staring at her during those Blip Classes."

"You...you heard about that?" she looked away for just a moment, "I was just trying to make sure she was okay, but I couldn't find the right moment to..."

"I know."

"And I don't want to screw it up anymore than I already have!"

"Lila feels the same way," I said reassuringly, "She's been wanting to talk to you too, but she's scared of making you feel sad. Her words."

"Really?" Maisie sounded both surprised and hopeful.

"Really," I said, "Look, would you feel better if I went to talk to her first? She's just upstairs doing her homework."

"Do you think that would help?" she said, "I don't want to be a coward, but…"

"It'll be fine," I said, and patted her gently on the shoulder, "Tell you what, afterwards we'll all have some hot chocolate. With cream and sprinkles."

"Just like I used to like it..." she said, and blinked back sudden tears, "Thanks, Mrs B."

"It's my pleasure," I said, "Just wait here with Coop for two minutes, and if I don't come back down then feel free to come up, okay? Oh, and get yourself a glass of water or something! It's boiling out there."

Lila was sitting at her desk, carefully colouring in a map of Africa with a look of intense concentration. As I entered, she looked up and gave me a broad smile.

"Hi Mom," she said brightly, "Check out my map! Did you know that the hippopotamus is more dangerous than a crocodile?"

"I know that you shouldn't get between them and water," I said, and gave her map a quick glance, "That's very pretty, Lila!"

"Thanks!" she said, "I just need to finish off Madagascar and then I'm done!"

"That's great," I said, and sat down on her bed, "Um...Maisie's here. She'd like to say sorry."

"She is?" my daughter leapt to her feet excitedly, "I should-"

"Wait, pumpkin," I said, "She'll come up shortly, but I just wanted to say a couple of things. First, you need to listen to her. Really, really hard, okay?"

"Okay, Mom."

"Give her a chance to talk. You don't have to accept her apology, but...just listen."

"I said okay!" she said sharply, and shifted in her seat, "When's she coming up?"

"Just a moment. She's just down with Coop at the moment."

"Why?" Lila said, and I thought I detected a faint note of jealousy, "She's my friend!"

"Cool it, kiddo," I said, "Coop...well, it's not important, but-"

There was a gentle creak from the stairwell, and then I heard feet gently padding along the upstairs landing. A moment later, there was an uncertain tap on the wall.

"Um...Mrs B? Lila?" Maisie said, "Is it okay if…"

"Maisie!" Lila said, and then gave me an abashed look, "I mean, um...Maisie. Come in!"

The tall girl poked her head around the corner, an anxious expression on her face. She gave Lila and myself a weak, unsure smile and then her gaze flickered around the room. Once again, her eyes went wide and she seemed to be momentarily struck dumb. This time, I understood; the last time she'd set foot in this room had been almost half a decade ago, during much happier times. Even knowing everything that had happened, seeing us sitting here, almost completely unchanged, must have been so confusing for her.

"Um...Maisie?" Lila said, "You...um…"

"You've...redecorated," Maisie said eventually, "I thought it'd be exactly the same, but…"

"Oh!" Lila said, and looked around herself, "All my stuff got really mouldy or covered in animal poop. Look! I got new bedsheets! I wanted the Blue Unicorn this time, 'cause he's really cool and-"

"Lila," I said gently.

"Oh, yeah," she said, "Sorry."

"You lost all your stuff, huh?" Maisie gave her a complicated look with just a hint of an edge, "That's rough."

"It's just stuff," shrugged Lila, "I wish I could find my Pink Unicorn figurine, but...I'm alive, right?"

"Yeah," said Maisie, in the same tense tone, "Yeah."

The tall girl stepped into the room and walked unsteadily to the bed, almost as if she was in a dream. She looked slowly up and down its length and then sat down next to me, staring blankly towards Lila's large oaken wardrobe.

"That hasn't changed," she said dully, "Same old wardrobe. You lose all your clothes too?"

"Yeah," my daughter said, "Rats or something."

"Huh."

There was a long, awkward silence, and I could feel the tension in the room creep up another notch.

"So...how's your archery?" asked Maisie, "Going okay?"

"Yeah. I shot Mum in the face yesterday."

"That must have hurt."

"It certainly did!" I laughed. It sounded forced even to me, and was quickly swallowed up by the oppressive atmosphere, "I...um…"

"You still like that unicorn show, yeah?" Maisie looked at the bedsheet again, "Of course you do. Why wouldn't you?"

"Um...are you okay, Mai?" asked Lila, and I saw Maisie suddenly grit her teeth.

"I'm...fine," she said, although her voice was tight, "It's just...this isn't what I imagined it'd be like."

"How did you imagine it'd be?"

"I don't know," she said, "Different."

"Um...sorry…"

"Don't be sorry!" Maisie said, and suddenly sprang to her feet, "This isn't your fault! None of this is your fault! You didn't ask for the Snap to choose you! You've just...always been lucky. Always."

"Maisie!" I said sharply, and then stopped. I thought I'd been lucky once, too.

"Lucky?" said Lila, "You think we're lucky?"

"You didn't have to live through the past five years, Lila! You can't imagine what it was like. Those kids in that Blip Class? I went to half their funerals! There was rationing, blackouts, and…" she closed her eyes and clenched her fists, "I lost you. That was the worst bit. I lost you and there wasn't even a damn memorial. I had to do it myself."

Lila got slowly to her feet and came close to the trembling teenager, "It's okay, Mai."

"No, it's not!"

"I know," she said, "I mean it's okay that it's not okay. But...it can be, right?"

"I dunno!" Maisie looked helplessly at me, "I want it to be, but…"

My mind spun very quickly, and I desperately tried to think about what Thera would have done in this situation.

"Make a stupid, smartass comment and screw it up for everyone?" my little inner voice pointed out, "Don't do it like him. Do it like you! You've got this."

"Okay...um…" I said, and then patted the bed beside me, "C'mon, Maisie. Why don't you sit down and tell us what happened while we were-" I looked quickly at Lila, "-Snapped? It might help."

"Do you really think so?"

"Friends talk to each other, right?" I said, and she nodded slowly, "You don't have to say anything that hurts too much, but-"

"No, it's okay. I've told it all to a shrink already," she sat back down and looked over at Lila, "You wanna sit down too, or are you just going to stand there catching flies?"

"I...um," Lila plopped herself down on the floor and smiled, "I'm listening. Really, I am."

"Good…well. Where do I start…?"

For Maisie, the Snap had started off with all the hallmarks of a regular summer's day. She'd gotten up in the trailer she shared with her mom, made herself breakfast, and then played alone outside until her mom roused herself from a drunken stupor. There was some yelling, probably; her mom liked to take her frustrations with life, the universe, and everything out on her daughter from time to time. Once that had calmed down, and the tears had been washed away, Maisie was left to watch daytime TV while her mother did the washing up.

The first sign that something was wrong had been the sound of a plate smashing. That wasn't that unusual; years of heavy drinking had wrecked Maisie's mom's co-ordination. When she went into the kitchen to see if her mom was alright, however, all she found were shards of shattered ceramic and a puff of ash, vanishing into the extractor fan. Outside, she could hear screaming, and through the windows she watched in terror as men, women, children, and animals all slowly dissolved and floated away into the cloudless sky. Back in the living room, the TV showed daytime TV in chaos; and the last thing she saw was the presenter exploding into soot before it cut to the emergency signal.

"At that moment, all I could think about was you," she said to Lila, "I grabbed my phone and rang you, and rang you, and...you never picked up. But then-" she shrugged, "-you often didn't. I tried your mom, too, and…nothing. It didn't even ring."

"I was holding my phone when I was Snapped," I said.

"That'd explain it," she said, "Anyway…"

Without so much as a second thought, Maisie had grabbed her bike and cycled over to our house as quickly as she could. It was completely deserted, with only the sound of the radio babbling an emergency broadcast signal over and over again. With mounting dread she'd checked the garage and found the car gone, and decided to wait just in case we'd happened to have gone out on a morning drive. That faint hope, though, was cruelly dashed when she wandered around to the back and found my hotdogs, still laid out exactly as I left them. They weren't sizzling anymore, but they were warm to the touch, and at that moment she knew that we'd been taken.

"I completely lost it," Maisie said, tears welling in her eyes, "I fell to the ground and just just started...screaming, over and over again. I couldn't stop."

I felt a twist, deep inside, and put a consoling arm around her quivering shoulders, "I'm sorry. That must have been so hard for you, Maisie."

"Yeah..." Lila said, and got up off the floor to sit on her other side, "But were the hotdogs good? I never got to try them."

"Lila!" I gave her a stern look.

"What? I know Maisie. She wouldn't let food like that go to waste."

"They were the best," Maisie looked up and smiled, "You really missed out, and...well, that screaming must have really worked up an appetite. I didn't know what else to do."

"It's okay, kiddo," I said, "I'm glad someone enjoyed them!"

"After that I...came up here," she patted the sheets, "I lay down on your bed, curled up with one of your figurines, and waited for my turn. I must have laid here for hours before they found me."

"Who...who found you?"

"The police. They were going house to house to find out who'd been...dusted, and to make sure none of us newly orphaned kids got stuck inside and starved to death or burned the place down," she sighed, "That actually happened a couple of times, you know…"

Things were rough after that. With nobody left to take care of her, Maisie was placed in a group care home with other grieving orphans. It was a mess; each day was a blur of tantrums, fights, and emotional breakdowns. While the carers did everything they could, they were battling both against the children's loss and whatever the Snap had done to their own families.

After a month, she was placed as part of a programme looking to link parents who had lost children with children who had lost parents. Her new family had lost a three-year-old boy, Alvin, who had been Snapped out of his grandparents hands while they'd been on a day out downstate. The dad was an architect, who was rushed off his feet keeping his firm together with only half its staff and collapsing demand, and the mom was an interior designer. They lived in a large house close to town, much nicer than her mom's trailer or the group care home, but despite that life wasn't much easier.

"It was hard at first," she said, "I knew they were trying. They were strict, but kinda nice...y'know, the opposite of my mom?"

"I know," I said grimly.

"My Dad kept laying down all these ridiculous rules that I had to follow, and my Mom spent most of her time completely out of it in Alvin's room. I wasn't ever allowed in there, though; she kept it like some kind of weird shrine to him."

"Everyone grieves differently."

"Yeah. I grieved by having these massive screaming matches with my Dad...and I even ran away a couple of times. Came back here once, actually," she smiled crookedly, "You know what? I was a terrible daughter, like, really, really bad, but they never stopped trying with me. It didn't really help, though, not until I had this really weird dream about you, Lila."

"About me?" Lila cocked her head in surprise.

"Yeah," Maisie nodded, "I used to dream about us all the time, y'know, playing together, watching TV, all those sleepovers...but this time you were really pissed off with me. You were yelling and screaming stuff about how I was giving up and not trying... and if our friendship had meant anything to me then I'd damn well get off my ass and start making something of my life! It was a damn nightmare, let me tell you."

"That sounds horrible!"

"It worked, though," she said, "After that, I convinced myself that you were somehow spying on me through one of my toys. I started to talk to it like it was actually you, and...believe me, that got Mom and Dad worried. My counsellor referred me to a shrink, but he just thought that I was a grieving thirteen year old. So...I had a choice; either I could spend my life terrified of falling asleep in case you were waiting, or I could actually start trying!"

She laughed suddenly, "Mom and Dad couldn't believe it, and you know what? Neither could I. The harder I tried, the easier things got! I made new friends, tried new things, and even started getting involved in my Dad's boxing club. If I keep my grades up, I'm going to college next year! Me, Lila! Can you imagine it? It's just the local community college, but..."

"Then the Blip happened, right?" I said.

"Yeah. First thing I knew about it was when someone suddenly popped into existence right in the middle of a training bout-" she winced, "-and I kinda cracked him across the jaw. But then I saw on the club TV that people were coming back to life all over, and then...you rang. And rang. And rang."

"You never answered," said Lila, accusingly.

"I didn't know what to say!" said Maisie, "I tried talking to my Mom and Dad, but they were trying to find out where Alvin was! So instead I came up with this idea; I was gonna be the cool older friend, the one who could help you get back into the world after five years away - you know, like some kind of time-travelling tour guide! I had it all sorted out, y'know, but as that first day of school crept closer and closer, I started to worry more and more."

"I think I see where you're going," I said.

"Probably," she agreed, "I thought I could keep a handle on it, Lila, but when I saw you skipping across the playground just like you always did, it was like the past five years somehow didn't matter to you. It was like you were somehow mocking everything I'd been through - and I know you'd never do that-" she said, before Lila could object, "-but something inside me just snapped. I totally freaked."

Lila looked down at the floor, "I remember."

"And I'm so, so sorry that I did," said Maisie, in a quavering voice, "I'm more sorry about that than anything else I've ever done. It could've been - should have been one of the happiest moments in our lives, and I made it something horrible. I scared and humiliated you in front of the whole school."

"...yeah. Yeah, you kinda did."

"And I'm also sorry that I've been such a coward," she went on, "I should've come over here straight away and apologised, but instead...I'm sorry, Lila. I let you down. I should've been there for you and I wasn't."

My daughter stared at her in silence, and then a smile spread across her face, "You haven't let me down, Maisie. You're here now, and it sounds like you've spent the past five years kicking ass!"

"You made damn sure of that."

"But you're right…" Lila went on, "Hearing about all that stuff about group care and stuff? I was lucky. I just Blipped, and I think I thought that I could just pick up with you where I'd left off. Maybe I should've been more sensitive."

"Nah. I probably would've lashed out regardless. I had all these feelings just...knotted up inside. They had to come out somehow, but I shouldn't have unloaded on you like that."

"Kinda like Vi, wouldn't you say?" observed my inner voice, "There's only so much one person can take before they start to crack."

"Well...I'm glad you're here," said Lila, and then added sadly, "I guess we can't be best friends anymore, huh?"

"We'll always be friends, Lila," Maisie said reassuringly, "But it's going to be different. I'm...seventeen now. I like different things."

"I know," my daughter sniffed, and I gave her a reassuring pat on the back, "I just don't want it to be different. It's not fair!"

"I know. But I'll always be here for you. Think of me like your cool older sister; you can talk to me about anything…" she paused, and gave me a sly look, "'specially those kinds of things you might be too embarrassed to tell Mrs B."

"Hey!" I objected.

"C'mon, Mrs B," she said, "You can't tell me that you told your mom everything."

"I didn't tell my mom anything," I admitted, "But I wasn't exactly a model daughter."

"And besides, Lila, you seemed to be hitting it off with that Allegra girl," Maisie added encouragingly, "One of her cousins actually goes to my club, and he says she's really nice."

"But she's not you!" Lila suddenly burst into tears "You're-"

"-right here," said Maisie, and gave her a long, tight hug, "I'm right here, okay? I'm not going anywhere."

I sat there in silence, unwilling to disturb the two as Maisie gently comforted my daughter. I could feel my heart swelling, though, and found myself blinking away sudden tears of my own.

"Well done, Laura!" said my little inner voice, "And I know what you're going to say. You're going to say that you didn't do anything."

"But I didn't do anything!" I murmured.

"Really? You gave Maisie the push she needed to talk to Lila. By being here, you gave Lila the support she needed to listen to Maisie. It's almost exactly what Thera did for you and Clint."

"You think so?"

"If I do, it's because you think so. I'm you, remember?"

After a short while Masie and Lila disengaged, and Maisie gently ruffled my daughter's hair.

"See, kid? It's not all bad," she said, "Although I, um, do have a confession to make. Your pink unicorn figurine? I...have it."

"You do? You stole it?" said Lila, and she gave Maisie an annoyed shove, "That was my favourite!"

"I know!" said Maisie quickly, "I...I wanted something to remember you by! When I said you were watching me, I thought you were watching me through that thing. I called it 'Lila' and I used to play with it like it was...you," she paused, "Actually, it was pretty weird."

"Not that weird," said Lila, "I do that all the time."

"After I got over that, though, it kinda became a good luck charm. I've had it on my table every time I've had an exam, and I take it with me to all my boxing tournaments. It...felt like you were there, cheering me on."

My daughter paused, and then said, "Keep it."

"You sure? I could bring it over-"

"I'm sure. You've had her longer than I did, and I'm glad she's gone to a good home," Lila shrugged, "It's just stuff. Besides, now I can cheer you on for real."

Maisie smiled, "Thanks, Lila."

"But...maybe there's something you could do for me," Lila said, and her eyes grew as big as saucers, "Could you watch an episode of Samurai Unicorns with me? Please? For old time's sake."

"I...sure," the teen grinned indulgently, "Next Blip Class, remind me to lend you some of the stuff you've missed. They're even better than Samurai Unicorns."

"Nah. That's not possible."

I coughed, and stood up, "Well, girls, I'm glad you could talk this out. I'm going to go make that hot chocolate I promised."

"Thanks, Mrs B," said Maisie, and then her expression turned more serious, "And thanks. I feel so much better now. 'Like a weight's been lifted off my shoulders."

"Great!" I smiled, "Would you like to stay for dinner? It wouldn't be any trouble; I'll just text Clint and ask him to pick up a few more things."

"I really should be getting back to my folks..." Maisie began, but then she caught Lila's suddenly pleading expression, "Okay, fine! I'll let 'em know. Christ, Lila, those are some Grade A puppy-dog eyes. How did I forget about them?"

"Never used 'em on you," my daughter said smugly. She sprang to her feet and grabbed Maisie's hand, "Now come on! I've got some Samurai Unicorn DVDs downstairs!"

Once they'd gone I texted Clint to let him know what had happened and to grab extra sausages for Maisie. After that, I went to check on Coop, who was playing a kids game with Nate even while he clutched the ice bag to his face. As I thought his black eye was developing fantastically, and he'd no doubt have quite the story to tell at school tomorrow. Everything in the house seemed to be basically in order, though, so I retreated back upstairs and spent a good hour or so reading more about the Blip. The disasters remained mostly the same, but now when I thought about how it might have affected the poor, newly-orphaned Maisie, I could feel the pangs of sympathy nibbling around the edges.

Clint returned eventually and I wasted no time in getting the dinner on. Maisie had always loved my jambalaya, and her eyes sparkled like stars when I brought the steaming pot to the dinner table. In some strange way, having her there made dinner seem more...normal. Sure, she was seventeen, almost as tall as Clint, and dressed in slightly sweaty exercise clothing, but she was still Maisie. That being said, she had definitely grown up, and I was pretty sure that the admiring looks that Coop was giving her from across the table weren't entirely due to her getting him out of a jam. Sooner or later, him and I were going to have to have a talk.

The sun was just dipping below the horizon by the time Maisie declared that she really had to make a move. Although she seemed to be perfectly happy to run back to town through the forest, I insisted that I drove her home instead. It wasn't that the forests were particularly dangerous, per se, but they certainly weren't a place to go running in the dark with only a phone for light. Once she'd said her goodbyes, we hopped in the car and before long were humming swifty down the country lanes back towards civilisation.

"Thanks, Mrs B," said Maisie. She gave the interior of the car an appreciative look, "This is nice. Is it new?"

"Couple of months," I said, "Clint brought it just after the Blip."

"Mmm," she gave me an aside glance, "I guess that saving the universe pays well, eh?"

"I…um…"

"It's okay, Mrs B," she said reassuringly, "I just never realised that Lila's dad was one of the Avengers! I mean, I always thought that Hawkeye looked kinda familiar but...that's crazy! Really cool, but crazy."

"Sometimes it feels like that, yeah," I agreed, "But please don't tell anyone. We moved down here to avoid exactly that."

"Oh, I ain't gonna tell nobody, Mrs B," she said, "I figure someone like him has to have made a couple of enemies. No way I want to bring any of 'em down around here."

"Yeah," I thought for a moment about Ronin, and all the criminal gangs who would probably love the opportunity to get to know him a little better, "No. We don't want that."

"But if it's not too weird, could you thank him for me?" she said, "He's a damn hero. Everyone at the club says so, too."

"Sure," I said, and gave her a brief smile, "Sure, Maisie."

We drove on in silence for a little while longer, but I could tell from the silence that she desperately wanted to say something.

"Um…" she began, "Can I tell you something? It might seem a little weird, but…"

"What?"

"I missed you," she said, with a catch in her voice, "I missed you almost as much as I missed Lila. All the times you were there for me; helping me with my homework, feeding me when my mom forgot or passed out...letting me sleep over all those times. You did more for me than anyone else."

"I'm sorry I couldn't do more," I said, sincerely, "I used to lie awake thinking about you - hell, I even called CPS a bunch of times, but-"

"My mom got really good at palming them off," said Maisie, "It wasn't your fault. It's just...when I realised that you'd been Snapped as well? That's when I really felt alone."

"Yeah," I blinked away sudden tears, and gripped the steering wheel even tighter, "I'm so sorry, Maisie. If I'd...survived, I would've taken you in like a shot."

"I know that," said Maisie, "But it's okay, Mrs B! I've got a family. They're not perfect, but they're mine. I don't need my mom anymore - and you know what? I'm never talking to her again! I hope she crawls into a bottle and dies there!"

"I…" I thought for a moment about how to put this, "I know what you mean. I hated my mom too."

"You did?"

"Yeah. She was always so judgemental, so picky. I was an honours student at high school, despite all my...extracurricular activities, but none of my work was ever good enough for her. She kept telling me that there was no point in trying hard or starting anything new because I was just going to fail…" I sighed, "Eventually she kind of took up residence in my head. Just this little niggling voice, always cutting me down and berating me for my failures. I ended up crashing out of college in my first year."

"She sounds just like my mom."

"She wasn't as bad," I said, "And after she died I realised that she'd been acting like that because she was still grieving for my Dad. They loved each other more than anyone I've ever known, and I was a constant reminder to her of what she'd lost. She just couldn't handle it."

"That's not an excuse, though!"

"No, it's really not," I agreed, "But it is an explanation, and it helped me let go of my anger. I mean, what's the point of raging at a dead woman? The only person it was hurting was me."

"My mom ain't dead, though."

"Yeah, but you don't have to see her again if you don't want to. Nobody can force you," I smiled, "I think you'll be fine. Like Lila said you've spent the last five years kicking ass, and I'm really proud of you."

"Thanks, Mrs B. That means a lot," she said, "And...y'know, if you ever need someone to look after the kids while you and your husband go out, I've done loads of babysitting. I'm first aid trained too."

"That would be nice," I said, "Coop's almost old enough, but…Nate's a lot of responsibility."

"He's no worse than some I've looked after," she said, and giggled quietly at some memory.

"And Coop?" I raised an eyebrow, "He won't be happy about being 'babysat'."
"Give me five minutes and he'll be eating out of the palm of my hand," she said confidently, "C'mon, Mrs B, you were young once. You know what I'm talking about."

"I'm sure I don't!" I felt my cheeks prickle with sudden warmth.

"Uh-huh," she said dubiously, "I bet the boys were all fighting over you, weren't they."

"I…" I quickly changed the subject, "And how much would you charge for your services?"

"Oh, I couldn't charge you, Mrs B!" she said, and actually sounded a little offended, "Not after everything you've done for me!"

"I'm not going to take advantage of that, Maisie," I said firmly, "Tell you what. One free session and we'll call it even. I'll make sure there's dinner for you, too."

"Are you sure?"

"Dead sure. And you're right; it would be nice to go on a date with Clint once in a while. Haven't done that in…" I mentally checked off the days in my head, "...too long."

"My mom and dad go out at least once a month," said Maisie, "They say it keeps things fresh- oh, it's just down here. Next left."

We pulled up in front of the large, iron-wrought gates leading to Maisie's house. I had to admit that, compared to her old mobile trailer, it was a pretty huge upgrade. Beyond the gate's thick bars, a carefully maintained gravel path followed a long, gentle curve through finely landscaped gardens to a house that, had it been any larger, would have been called a mansion. In the deepening gloom, the garden was illuminated by a scattering of gentle globe lights, which picked out the brilliant colours in the flowerbeds and caught the spray of an ornate fountain as a shimmer of rainbow mist.

"Wow," I said, eventually, "That's…nice."

"It's...yeah,," Maisie said, and actually looked a little embarrassed, "My dad's job pays really well, but he has to work really hard, too. Sometimes he doesn't even come home at weekends."

"What was his job again? Architect?"

"Sorta. He designs buildings for...sensitive places. You know, places you don't want people to get in or out of. He's one of the best."

"You don't say," I said, and squinted at the mailbox, "Bennett? Is that your new name?"

"Yeah, Maisie Bennett," she said, and grinned wryly, "My Dad hates our name - but then he's called Gordon so…"

"Hah," I said, "Doesn't look like anyone's home, though."

"No," the girl looked at the house, and then her face became set, "There's something else I need to tell you. Dad didn't want me to tell anyone, but…"

"What?" I said, "What's going on, Maisie?"

"They haven't found Alvin yet," she said anxiously, "Mom and Dad have been searching since the Blip, but...nothing. They got in contact with the Simon Keame Foundation - you know, the one that's trying to reunite people? Even they're struggling."

I felt a chill pass through me, but tried to be reassuring, "There's a lot of cases to get through, Maisie. It's hard work."

"Don't you think they'd be prioritising a three year old with no parents, though?" she said angrily, but then shook her head, "I know...I know that everyone's struggling, but I just want to meet my baby brother!"

"You will, Maisie. I'm sure of it."

"But that's not everything," she went on, "Dad's started getting these phone calls. I don't know what they're about, but I'm pretty sure they're not good. I think someone's threatening him."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Not entirely," she admitted, "But sometimes when his phone rings he suddenly looks really anxious and takes it into his study. I...listened at the door a couple of times. He sounded scared."

"Could it be about a contract? Maybe someone's really on his case."

She shook her head, "No. After those calls he normally comes out and he and Mom have some kind of argument...but recently they've been going somewhere. I'm not sure where, but…I kinda feel like it's bad. Like someone's blackmailing him."

"Maybe," I said evenly. I thought briefly of the Bulgakovs, but decided that that was best kept to myself. I didn't want to scare her any more than she clearly already was.
"What do you think's going on, Mrs B?" she said, and I could see the worry etched across her face, "I'm scared for them. I'm worried that they're getting involved in something dangerous."

"I can't say, but thank you for telling me," I said, "I'm not sure if there's anything I can do to help, but...if I can, I will."

"Please don't get them in trouble!" she said quickly, "Or, uh, me. Don't tell them I talked to you!"
"I won't say anything," I promised, "And I happen to know that Clint can be very discreet. It'll be fine."

Maisie looked relieved for just a moment, but then the worry returned in force. With a sigh, she unbuckled herself and stepped out of the car, "Thanks again, Mrs B. I'll...be seeing you."

"Don't be a stranger, Maisie," I said, and added, "I mean that. If you ever need to talk to me about this or anything else, you're always welcome at our house. Lila would love to see you as well."

"I'll make sure to talk to her at Blip Class," she promised, "If nothing else, I'll get her to watch something besides that Samurai Unicorn show. You know that it's hand-drawn by Koreans on slave wages, right?"

"I do now!" I said, "But...look, we'll get to the bottom of this. I promise you."

That seemed to satisfy Maisie, and she closed the car door with a soft click. I watched silently as she passed in front of the car and pressed her thumb against a small biometric lock set into the wall. There was a squeak, a grinding noise, and then the gates slid open. Maisie quickly slipped through and headed down the gravel path. Before long, she was lost in the gloom.

I leaned back in my seat, closed my eyes, and sighed long and hard. Today had definitely not turned out how I'd expected it to.

"You know what's going on, don't you," said my voice, "We've seen this all before. Just...not with a three year old in the picture."

"Yeah," I sighed. This was far too similar to the situation with Bulgakov to be a coincidence, "I have to do something."

"Obviously."

"Would they really hurt a kid?"

"Maybe they already tried. We can't say for sure that what happened to those kids in the Blip Centre wasn't an accident. Did Flora really leave the lock off? And even if she did, most painkillers are child-proofed. That's a pretty precocious pair of prepubescents."

"Very clever," I muttered, "But kinda paranoid at the same time."

"Maybe. We'd better tell Clint."

"Actually…I was thinking of involving-"

"No. You wouldn't!"

"We need people who're already involved with the Blip Centres! People who know the ground!" I said, "Vi and Thera are...the logical choice."

"You mean the choice who you really want to talk to," the voice said acidly, "You're unbelievable sometimes. Vi lights up at you, and you're going crawling back?"

"I am not going to go crawling back!" I snapped, "I'm just going to ask her to help find out...what's going on. That's all. If she happens to want to apologise at the same time...well, so much the better."

"Uh-huh. You know Clint isn't going to like this. Vi really got under his skin, and if he hears that you've gone to them over him…"

"I won't be going to them over him!" I said, although even to me that rang kind of hollow, "I'll ring him on the way, and then...it'll be us going to them. How about that?"

"Please; he'll see through that one instantly, and it's not a debate if you're telling him something after you've already decided to do it. Look, this is the right thing to do, but it's also going to hurt his feelings. He's never been a 'big picture' kind of guy; do you think he'll understand?"

"I'll have to make him understand," I said, as I dialled up the sat-nav on the car's display, "There's a pattern developing here, and in the end we're kinda out of options."