A/N: I don't own anything "Phantom"-related, you know, etc. etc. This is just a random thought that came to me after reading Gaston Leroux's book for the third time. Random question, doesn't 'Leroux' mean 'the red-haired' or something like that? I haven't brushed up on my French in a while, but I think it does.
First Love
Today, the twenty-fifth of May, is my wedding-day. My bridegroom lies in our marriage-bed, waiting for me. Ah, my sweet Erik…he finally understands that I am the only one for him. Still, I wish it had not come to this. I suppose he regretted teaching me to use that wonderful lasso of his in that last instant…but no matter now. There is nothing but he and I together again forever now.
Oh dear…I'm crying again. Was it a mistake to do this to him? Will he ever forgive me, in the next world? Oh why didn't he realise in the first place that there was no hope for him and Christine? Christine was a light woman! She and her silly little playfellow, that pretty-faced fool! That traitorous stage wench took what she wanted from my poor Erik and left him for another as soon as she could manage it! And then not even my song could soothe poor Erik's heart. The poor wretch went quite mad with his love for her. The more he loved her, the more the stupid child hated him. There is no pain greater than that of unrequited love. I should know. I've felt it too.
The look of surprise from my casting his lasso around his own neck is still frozen on Erik's face. This twists his features still further than they already are, but I care not. He has always been beautiful to me. I have laid his Don Juan Triumphant over his heart. Soon I will join him for the first time and the last in his bed, where I belong. I shall lay in his arms and wait to die, and I shall sing our love's litany until it dies on my lips with me. Oh, dear, beloved, misguided Erik! You should never have trifled with Christine. You should have taken what you were given. You should have wanted what you could have: me. Why didn't you understand?
I loved you first!