CHAPTER 4: December—Claudia

It was the Wednesday before Christmas, as well as the last day before Christmas vacation. A lot had happened since Mary Anne found out that her grandmother's plane had been grounded in Columbus, due to fog. Janine and I had gone to the Christmas dance at school the weekend before. I went with Jason, and Janine had gone with her boyfriend, Jerry Michaels.

First period was Art. At Mrs. Howe's request, we turned in our portfolios so she could grade them during vacation. I put mine on the top of the stack, mostly because I'd put a lot of time and consideration into mine. One of the things I'd made sure to include was the butterfly drawing, or my "self-portrait" that I'd done when I was in first grade. Back then, I'd seen myself as a free spirit, like a butterfly, so that's why I drew it. But Miss Packett, my art teacher at the time, decided to be the ultimate bitch, and chewed me out in front of the entire class. If Mimi hadn't given her a firm, gentle lecture about it, I probably would've given up on art completely. Looking back on that, I now know that Miss Packett was not a very good teacher.

Second period was Remedial Math. (I'm the only one of my friends in the Remedial classes, by the way.) We gave our homework to Mr. Lee, and were given a worksheet of Christmas word problems, which I've always had the most trouble with. One in particular that I remember is, "Mary has $1,000 in her Christmas Club account. She has twenty people to shop for. How much is she allowed to spend on each person?"

God, where the hell is Stacey when I need her? I thought. I sure could've used her help with this one, since math is her area of expertise, as Janine would say.

By the way, I'm happy to say that I eventually figured that problem out. Mary, whoever she was, could spend up to $50 on each person. She must work for some Fortune 500 company. Either that or she has a rich uncle.

Third period was Remedial English. Mrs. Yeager collected our homework, then told us that we had a book report due after Christmas. As soon as class ended, I asked her if I could do mine on a Nancy Drew mystery. Those are my favorite books, but I have to keep them hidden, because my parents think I should be reading more "classic" novels. The teacher told me that would be fine. I hoped my parents wouldn't have any objections, though.

Fourth period was gym. Mrs. Ferguson told us that we wouldn't be doing anything that day, but we'd start square-dancing after Christmas, so instead, we just had a study hall that day.

During my regular fifth period study hall, Stacey helped me with my homework. I didn't have that much to do, though.

At lunch time, Stacey, Dawn, Abby, and I sat at our usual table. Lunch that day was a ham sandwich, mixed fruit, and milk.

That was our last class of the day. We had the option of either leaving, or staying for the movie, which was to be shown in the study hall room. My friends and I decided to check out the movie, which was A Christmas Story. During the scene where Old Man Parker is beating the crap out of the furnace and yelling in gibberish, Abby leaned over to me and whispered, "If I Were A Rich Man..." I couldn't help giggling.

I just knew the holidays were going to be wonderful.

On Christmas morning, I felt like I was five years old again, because I was the first one up. The rule at our house is, no matter how excited you are on Christmas morning, unless you have to go to the bathroom, you can't leave your room until either Mom or Dad are awake.

I knew I shouldn't have had that second glass of eggnog!

When I heard someone get up, I marked my place in my book, put it back in its hiding place, and went into the living room, where I found Dad. "Good morning, Dad," I said.

"Claudia," he answered.

"Merry Christmas."

"You, too. Would you like to plug in the Christmas tree?"

"Sure," I said, crawling under the Christmas tree and plugging it in. I'm just glad I didn't blow a fuse in the process. In case you're wondering, not only can Dad not replace fuses quicker than a jackrabbit on a date, but he also doesn't buy them by the gross. I'm told Mr. Bruno does, especially since he's a contractor, as does Steve, Jason's stepdad, being the apartment building's superintendent. He also told me that when they were living on Long Island, he was a contractor, and did some maintenance work at Motel 6.

Before too long, Mom and Janine came downstairs. "Merry Christmas, girls," Mom said. "Claudia, would you like to play Santa this year?"

"Sure," I said. I sat beside the tree and handed out the presents. I got a new art book from Dad, a new sweater from Mom, and a new sketch pad from Janine. (By the way, Mom let me pick out the sweater. It's black, and has little silver sparkles on it. The sparkles aren't quite as big as the ones on Tim Curry's dinner corset in Rocky Horror, but still very noticeable.)

Later that morning, Russ, Peaches, and Lynn came over. Lynn is almost two years old, and I love her to death. She can also be a screamer, which I don't love. Russ and Peaches had even made me Lynn's godmother, since she has my middle name.

Mom and Peaches cooked dinner. I remembered that before Mimi had her stroke, she'd cooked holiday dinners all by herself, but after that, Mom helped her.

As I sat down to Christmas dinner, I thought this had been the best Christmas ever, and I also knew Mimi would've enjoyed it, too.