Suzuki was in he and Shishi's conjoined bathroom. The rest of the team was out, those extras that weren't dead...probably drinking to drown in the misery. Shishi and Suzuki had shared a room for the length of the tournament, and now it would just be the two of them likely. Whimpering softly, he once more hid his face from the mirror, not wanting to see the hideousness...
Shishi had been sitting on his bed, staring out the window for the last few hours, but finally he had had enough. Finally he stood and stalked into the bathroom, hands clenched into fists at his side. Reaching up, he grabbed Suzuki, spun him around and slammed him into the wall. His pupils were contacted and his horns sprouted on his head as he snarled, "You swore to me that we'd win! You swore I would bring honor and fame to my family- but we were a joke! A joke! I've brought shame on my family rather than honor! I want you to account for it!"
Suzuki growled, shoving Shishi back from him, long blonde hair falling over his injured face. Glaring as best he could, he shook his head. "We were beaten, Shishi! I didn't account for it any more than you did! I didn't think we'd get beaten by such a fucking crone either!" he offered in defense, hating the hatred and hurt shining in those eyes.
With a low growl he surged forward again, shoving Suzuki back into the wall roughly. But instead of yelling, or striking him, he leaned forward and kissed him fiercely. When he pulled away, his horns were gone and his eyes were softer. "At least you weren't killed."
"Shishi..." he managed softly, reaching up to tentatively stroke that alabaster cheek, scuffed and bruised...but still soft to him. "I was worried about you.." he managed, chuckling softly, holding his arms out, open for Shishiwakamaru.
He pressed against him, not even caring about Suzuki's injuries in his desire to be close to him, to reassure himself that he really was alive and intact. After that beating... Shishi had been unsure if his lover would live at all and it had shaken him up more than he had expected.
For a time he had been in the infirmary, unconscious. And it was almost like his spirit was broken for a short time. But there had been Shishi...he had to return for Shishi...he didn't know why...but he had already disappointed him enough...
Finally he sighed and pulled away, but kept his hands gently on Suzuki's hips. "Come on. Let's go lie down. After all we've been through, we could both probably do with some rest- and finally it's just you and I again... finally."
Like a child being led by a parent, he nodded tiredly and kept his head turned away as he followed Shishi into the cool, dark room that they shared. "Just us again..." he echoed, trying to smile, grateful for that. He was glad it was just them again.
Shishi lay down, pulling Suzuki down next to him. He kept himself propped up on one elbow so he could look down at Suzuki, as he ran his fingers through what of his hair wasn't trapped under bandages.
Suzuki's pained, mossy hues stared up at Shishi in surprise as he stroked what hair was accessible through the bandages, and he reached up to tug him closer slowly, for once feeling like the weak and vulnerable one. "I do not blame you..." he began with a soft, pained chuckle. "If you want to leave..."
"Why would I leave when I've only just now got you back to myself?" Shishi replied, allowing himself to be pulled closer. "Don't you need to have someone around now, more than ever? And who else do you know that will stand by you now?"
Those words...meant a great deal to him even as they bit at him at the same time.. "No...one else will stand with me..." he remarked huskily as he stared up into those great amethyst orbs, slowly reaching up to trail his fingers through the slate locks that hung down beside Shishi's cheek.
"I will," Shishi assured him, leaning down and pressing a kiss to his bandaged forehead. "And you won't need anyone else, as long as I'm around. There will always be... other opportunities for us to make our reputations."
"Other opportunities..." he agreed with shimmering eyes, detesting how weak he was in that moment, how vulnerable...how fragile. For the first time since he'd attained such status, he felt...ugly...small...and ashamed of himself. Tugging Shishi closer, he nuzzled at him as best he could, keeping his face away form those beautiful eyes.
"Suzu, stop it," he muttered, gently taking Suzuki's face in his hands so he could get a good look at it. "Oh, Suzuki..." His expression softened, as did his tone.
Those eyes were shimmering, and Suzuki was doing his best to hold his decorum before his beautiful lover. As best he could, he bit his lip, sliding his eyes down. He was hideous now, ugly, contaminated. And all because of a miscalculation and foolish pride!
Shishi sighed heavily. "It's not as bad as it seems," he said. "Stop hiding your face. Let's get rid of the rest of that makeup, that's making it look much worse." Releasing him, he stood and went back to the bathroom, returning moments later with a damp washcloth. Sitting on the bed beside Suzuki, he began very, very gently wiping away the last vestiges of the clown makeup that the overworked and unskilled nurses had ignored.
Suzuki submitted to the cleaning as docile as a little lamb, staring at Shishi the entire time. The cool water felt nice, and the care he took in gentling his motions was even nicer. Soon the makeup was gone, leaving his face clean, allowing the wounds to be seen as they should be.
Setting the cloth on his knee, Shishi regarded Suzuki's face again. "Well, it's definitely not nearly as bad as it looked at first, gorgeous. Some large bruises that will take a while to heal, a few bumps... but nothing too large or irreversible. You'll look as beautiful as ever in a few days, I'd guess."
"You think so...?" he asked, and as Shishi seemed to nod in agreement, he slid forward, tugging the blue haired samurai to him once more. There were no proper words for what he felt...but he was grateful...and he could think of no other way to express it. Shishi had seen him at his peak physical ugliness, at his worst physically...and hadn't cared...
Shishi curled against him, tossing the damp and dirty washcloth aside, off the bed to land somewhere on the floor. "You are embarrassingly vain, did you know that?" he teased, kissing the base of Suzuki's throat.
"And...that's a problem now?" he retorted with a weak chuckle as he slid his arms about that slim frame, tilting his throat, trustingly exposing it to the other. Words wanted to work their way from his throat, words he was afraid of...
He trailed a few kisses up his neck, out of affection rather than any form of lust- that would come later, when they had both recovered. "A problem? No. Just... an amusement. I have to admit it's rather endearing."
"Shishi..." but once more the words caught in his throat and he could only pull him closer, happily sighing. "And you're quite endearing to me, Shishiwakamaru..." he rarely used the full name, having long before shortened it.
"It's because I'm so cute," Shishi suggested, bemused. His fingers reached up to trace the contours of Suzuki's neck, down to his shoulder where they encountered a slightly rough patch of scar material. "Hmm... you still carry the mark from that night."
"So do you..." the blonde remarked wryly. "It stands out more...against your pale skin..." he said, trailing a hand upwards to gently prod his shoulder. "It was...an interesting night..."
"Interesting is putting it awfully mildly," Shishi replied with a low chuckle. "Now that we're alone again, we might have to... do something like that again. In... a few weeks," he finished, grimacing as his lingering headache pounded through his temples.
"Let's just rest for now..." he pleaded gently, scooting over carefully, cuddling Shishi against him. It was good to hold the samurai like that again, so intimately, so lovingly. Without worry of teammates and loud, dirty comments. He was glad they were all gone, somehow or another .
Shishi nodded, letting a low, pathetic groan escape him. "At least I still have you," he murmured again, before falling silent. But he did not sleep. His thoughts turned inwards, dwelling on things boiling within him.
Suzuki slept soon after Shishi nestled against him, leaving the other to his thoughts in solitude. The dreams that plagued him were unpleasant. Phantoms wrapped about his mind, tugging him, teasing him, cruelly taunting him. Unconsciously he clung tighter, a soft sigh escaping him.
Sensing inner turmoil, Shishi pulled free enough to stroke his hair, pressing a kiss to his cheek, his forehead. "Shhh," he murmured in Suzuki's ear, somewhat surprised at his own open affection for the other- he had never felt the intense desire to comfort anyone before.
The blonde calmed shortly thereafter, clinging tightly to his lover, wanting nothing more than to reassure himself -even in sleep- that he was safe and they were together. It was a while before his breathing evened, a serene smile (as much as his battered face could manage at least) finally touching his lips.
Seeing him soothed, Shishi lay back down and dozed off as well, hoping that his headache would be gone by morning- as clearly Suzuki was in need of some serious reassuring. And he had thought he had problems...
It was a glorious day! The birds were singing in the trees and everyone had been allowed a short break between training sessions, leaving everyone to wander the Temple Grounds as they wanted, exploring or visiting with one another. Suzuki sought Shishi out, stretching.
Shishi had found, some days before, a lovely and quiet spot to meditate on a large, flat rock. He had retired there for their break intent on meditation... but the sun had warmed the rock delightfully and instead he had stretched out on it, on his stomach, dozing like a contented cat.
Silently, the hunter stalked his prey. Sneak. Sneak. Creep. Creep. And then... "HELLOOOO SHISHI!" he cried out, rolling into a somersault a few feet before Shishi, grinning ear to ear.
Shishi squawked and jumped into the air, landing hard with a faint 'oof'. Sitting up, he glared at Suzuki. "That was not funny. You're just lucky I don't have my sword with me, ass."
Suzuki merely grinned and scooted closer, resting his arms about his knees casually. "Sorry beautiful, I just couldn't help it. A peace offering, perhaps?" Grinning once more, he produced a small package of fresh raspberries, holding them out like a repentant child.
Those violet eyes went impossibly wide as he reached out and snatched them in a quick, greedy motion. "You do love me," he commented in an off handed fashion, pulling the package open and popping one into his mouth, eyes closing in satisfaction.
"Of cooourse I do!" was the teasing response. Lazily he came to lay against Shishi, reaching around him to snatch one of those ripe red fruits. "Since I bought them." he defended as those amethyst eyes slid towards him in a narrowed, bemused manner.
He frowned and made a quiet growl, but took no other retribution. "Berry thief..." Between eating raspberries, he periodically ran his fingers through Suzuki's hair. "But since you did buy them, I might forgive you."
"Yes. A Berry thief. That took one of -your- precious berries. But I bought them, so I can. Now if Rinku did it, you could beat him up. But not me." And he laughed, closing his eyes with a soft sound of appreciation as his hair was stroked so gently. One arm slid about Shishi's legs, eyes closing, a huge grin adorning his face.
Shishi's look was equally adoring. Leaning down at an awkward angle, he kissed Suzuki's forehead. "You should get more so I can eat them off your stomach," he whispered softly, then sat back up with a sigh. "When we have a room to ourselves again, that is..."
"We can sneak out one night and eat them in the forest." he replied with a soft laugh, openign his eyes to stare up at the other with that mischievous, adoring expression. "Then you can eat them off my stomach all night!"
"Sounds... delicious," he teased. "Though with the way Touya is prone to late night walks, and Chuu to staggering home late, we might not be safe even then." Groaning, he shook his head. "This is getting frustrating- I suppose it's good that we're always so exhausted from training or sleeping next to you would drive me out of my mind."
He gave a bark of laughter and nodded as he nestled closer once more, reaching out to blindly grope for another raspberry. "Well if they see something.. it's not like they'd say anything. Besides, I'm sure Jin...and Touya...well you know..."
"You think so?" Shishi inquired, plucking a raspberry before Suzuki could get one and placed it softly against Suzuki's lips. "I hadn't even thought about it, but you're probably right, now that I think of it."
He parted his lips, savoring the taste of teh raspberry for a moment, rolling it about on his tongue before neatly biting it in half. Reaching up, he gently grasped the back of Shishi's haori, tugging him closer into a soft kiss. Parting his lips, he allowed his tongue to roll forward, pushing the other half of the raspberry against Shishi's lips.
Shishi accepted it gratefully, some part selfishly glad that he had only had to give up half a berry. He returned the kiss, before prying Suzuki's fingers from his haori and sitting back up. "Don't, Suzu..."
"But Shishi..." Suzuki sighed, giving up and letting his fingers slide down, looking away, pouting a little, feeling sullen. He hated all of this hiding of affection now; after so much time spent together without having to do as such...
"It's not that I care what anyone else thinks," he explained, picking up and examining another raspberry to avoid looking at Suzuki. "It's that I can't be that close to you, can't kiss you without wanting to tear your clothes off. It's just easier if I keep my distance. Because, you know, I think I might..." He trailed off, frowning faintly.
"Think you might what?" he asked slowly, turning to once more look up at the samurai, a soft frown tugging his lips. "What is it beautiful..?" he asked, having to smile at the visual that suddenly sparked to mind. "Do you realize how much another feral night would scare the others...?"
His grin flashed brilliantly at that. "It would terrify them, since we all share a room." His eyes drifted closed. "That was so excruciatingly hot... Sometimes I dream of that night." He opened his eyes, winked at Suzuki, "And make late night use of a cold bath."
Suzuki couldn't help but groan softly, eyes filled with mischief. "Do you have any idea how amusing...and hot it would be to repeat that?" he moaned softly, reaching up to weave a hand through Shishi's forelocks.
"Yes, I do," he answered, gently reaching up to disentangle that hand from his hair. "Which is why we absolutely can't speak of it any more, until this training is over and we have our own private room again."
"Yeah yeah...if you say so, Shishi." Suzuki let his gaze slide away once more. The separation after so long together was rather disturbing; he didn't like it at all, but he put up with it for Shishi, knowing the other was uncomfortable with the others always milling about somewhere.
Sensing the other's displeasure, he set aside the empty raspberry tray and leaned down to kiss him softly. "It won't be much longer, Suzu. We'll be leaving for the Makai Tournament soon, and I think we'll have our own room then."
"I hate this..." he murmured even as he nuzzled and kissed his lover. "I just hate this...lack of intimacy..." he replied, waving a hand gently, gazing at him with those large green eyes. "I just...like being with you though...not just for sex, you know?"
"What do you mean?" Shishi asked curiously, raising an eyebrow. After a moment he stretched out again along the length of the rock, pressing himself against Suzuki.
"I like being around you," he reiterated, nestling closer with a soft laugh. "Just...to be around you. Like this, or during meditation..." he shrugged, suddenly becoming very interested in the ground beneath him, playing with the grass gently.
"What is it?" Shishi asked, looking up at him, as best he could while cuddled against him. "What's on your mind, gorgeous?"
He took a deep breath, glancing at the other and merely smirked. "I'm happy around you. No matter what." he said simply, cheerfully.
"I've noticed," Shishi replied, kissing his neck. Then he paused and pulled away, sitting up again and looking somewhat anxious. "Was that all you were thinking, Suzuki?"
"Mm? Oh...I just...I don't know..." he rubbed at the back of his head, and seemed about to say more when a sharp whistle rang through the forest: resting was over, and it was time to return. He sighed, starting to stand.
Swearing under his breath, Shishi stood and strode back to the training ground, not bothering to look back at Suzuki. He was irritated for some unaccountable reason, and blamed Suzuki for it.
Narrowing his eyes to hide the faint falsh of hurt at those actions, he shrugged and began to walk as well, his hands sliding up to the back of his head, stance relaxed. Perhaps...tonight before bed he could say something...
The training was relentless and Shishi forgot about his aggitation in the rhythm of strike, block, retreat that he fell into with Touya, his sparring partner for the day. Once Genkai felt them sufficiently exhausted and tortured, she released them and he found his weary way inside to their shared room, seeking clean clothes before going to take a bath.
Suzuki had just stepped out of his own quick bath, somewhat afraid of Genkai's anger if they strayed over long in those baths. He met Shishi in the hall as he was heading towards the room and stopped, smiling. "Well hello there."
"Suzuki," Shishi replied curtly, the smile that had immediately sprung to his lips in greeting fading just as quickly as his anger returned to him. "If you'll excuse me, I was just heading in there."
True hurt did hit his eyes then, but, prideful as ever he nodded, stepping aside and making his way to the bedroom. Sighing, he threw himself onto his pallet, glaring at the ceiling bitterly.
Shishi took his bath, quickly and with none of the usual pleasure he felt on most nights. Stepping out and dressing, he returned to the room as well, to see Suzuki on his pallet and Touya reading on his own. Nodding to Touya, he crossed to his bed and settled down, hoping to fall quickly asleep. He made a point of not looking at Suzuki.
Suzuki glanced back at him over his shoulder, before turning and pointedly closing his eyes. If Shishi wanted to be mad at him then so be it! He hadn't done a thing wrong, and would be damned if he felt bad for nothing!
Touya slammed his book shut and stood up. "Look, you two just need to get over your stupid pride, admit you love each other, and go out into the woods for a late night tryst. You're driving the rest of us crazy, dancing around each other. I'll even leave to give you privacy. I trust you won't waste it." Shaking his head at the behavior of the two younger demons, he exited the room.
Suzuki had leapt up in surprise at the slamming of that book in the quiet of the room. The forceful tones of the other made his eyes widen, sitting up to gaze at Touya's retreating form. Then slowly...s lowly... they moved towards Shishi...
Shishi was staring at the door in open shock that the ever quiet Ice Master had spoken to them that way- and to say he loved Suzuki? Was that it? Was that the feeling he kept ignoring when he was around the other- and what he was so irritated with Suzuki over. Had he gotten angry because he had wanted Suzuki to admit it earlier? His eyes, roiling with confusion, turned to meet Suzuki's.
Suzuki was staring at him, the faintest of smiles on his face. He closed his eyes, as if meditating and took a deep breath. "He's right you know." he said, humor touching his voice. "At least...on my part. That's what I was.. trying to say earlier, before the whistle..."
"It was?" Shishi inquired, pushing his blankets aside and standing, crossing to sit beside Suzuki. "I had... thought so. I guess I just got frustrated when you didn't actually manage to get the words out. But Touya made me realize that I... wanted to hear them."
Suzuki nodded, chuckling softly. "Oh beautiful...I've loved you since... since before the Dark Tournament...I just realized it then...that night after we lost..." he said quietly, remembering how tenderly Shishi had held him, cleaned his face, tended his wounds.
"And you didn't tell me?" Shishi asked, astounded, his tone slightly angry, slightly hurt. "You stupid clown. Don't blame the whistle when you had all that time when it was just the two of us, uninterrupted, to tell me!"
"I didn't know how! I didn't know if you wanted to hear it!" he responded, glancing away, sheepishly. "I was afraid of losing you..." he admitted in a near whisper, his hands actually wringing the hem of his shirt lightly.
"If you hadn't lost me by then, after I stayed with you after the tournament..." Moving suddenly, his took Suzuki's hands in his own as he tossed one leg over him, straddling his legs. Dropping the others hands, he took Suzuki's face between his own and stared into his eyes. "I love you, Suzuki."
Jade met amethyst and he tugged Shishi closer, staring at him in silent awe for a long moment. "I love you, Shishiwakamaru..." he said with a laugh, leaning forward, trying to press a kiss to his forehead. "I just didn't know how to say it..."
"It seems fairly straight forward," Shishi muttered, lowering his head so Suzuki could plant that kiss. Then he straightened up enough to kiss Suzuki fully on the lips, arms twining about his neck.
"Mm..." That kiss was all it took, and he was once more enthralled. Their lips met, soft and gentle, and he melted against his lover, pulling him close. This was what he had wanted, what he had longed for. Being able to kiss him without being pushed away, being held and being...loved.
Pulling back just enough to speak, Shishi murmured, "Touya did promise us privacy, you know..." Even as he spoke, his hands drifted down to the hem of Suzuki's shirt, tugging it up with a practiced ease.
"That he did..." he was already tugging at Shishi's own clothing as well. He slipped his shirt off and recklessly threw it across the room, a soft purr lighting in his throat. The very thought of being with his samurai again after so long...a feral growl left him, pulling Shishi into a hungry kiss.
Shishi responded with equal passion- the time apart had pained him as well. "Mine," he growled, bending down to lick and nip at the scar tissue he had left on Suzuki's shoulder during their first night together.
He moaned softly as he felt the soft, teasing touches to that scarred flesh. "Yours...Mine." he murmured huskily as his hands drifted about Shishi's waist, nails suddenly raking upwards, not to truly harm, but enough to excite his lover.
"Ah," Shishi gasped, arching his spine and tossing his head back. "Suzu, I missed this... How did we ever survive?"
"I don't know, I don't know." he chanted softly, feverishly moving his head to the other's throat and nipping hungrily, nails sliding lower down his body and dragging upwards in that deliciously painful manner. Suzuki didn't care how they had survived; he wanted Shishi...it had been too long as it was.
"Not feral, not tonight," he moaned, though clearly he wished for it- but apparently felt that would be a bit much, even in this false sense of privacy. Yet his hands and teeth tore at Suzuki, grabbing, stroking, scratching, biting.
"Shishi, Shishi..." he crooned, kissing his lover softly before attacking him once more. Surely, they could control it, keep it down to some point...but the way those hands and teeth were tearing and scratching and biting at him was too...too feral for him to ignore.
"No waiting, please no waiting," he moaned, desperate now, utterly wantonly desperate. To have been that near Suzuki for so long without touching him... it was impossible! How had he even thought he could handle it?
"No...waiting..." he echoed. He groaned loudly and pushed the smaller figure over, straddling him. Lips found their way to his lover's throat once more, enjoying the feeling of their flesh so close, body's fitted together in such a perfect form.
It was perfect, the two of them together. Had he had wits about him, Shishi might have marveled at how fortunate it had been for them to meet, might have wondered if there was some truth to those tales of fate bringing people together. As it was, however... all attempts at thinking were obliterated by desperate need, intense pleasure, and an overwhelming feeling of love for Suzuki.
There was no need for thinking at that exact moment. Suzuki was beyond merely thinking of how nice it felt to hold Shishi again without fear of being caught. No...it was more of a time for thinking of how much he -wanted- the boy in that instant, and how closely they were now bound together.
"Love you...beyond reason," he gasped, wanting to get those words out before he was driven to a point- a point he was rapidly approaching- where he could not speak even to say that.
Love...love you too!" he whimpered, nipping at his lover's bottom lip harshly, nearly purring in his pleasure. Soon enough there would be no time for words, and already Suzuki's mind was heading towards a white light.
No more words were spoken until some time later, while Shishi lay wrapped around Suzuki, entangled with him. "I love you so much, and I really, really needed that."
They were a tangled, sweaty, and thoroughly content mass. Suzuki was idly playing with a soft, dampened lock of his lover's hair, gazing at him fondly. "I love you too..." he began softly. "So much..." A groan of pleasure left him, pressing a kiss to that white forehead. "And I needed it too."
"Someone will probably be here any moment... We should probably put some clothes on- but I'm staying here with you tonight, in your pallet. Damn whatever they might say." Kissing Suzuki again, he grabbed his pants and slipped them on, noting that he would have to get up extra early for another bath the next morning.
Suzuki lounged, rolling and moving just enough to slip the loose yellow pants on before tugging Shishi to him once more with a contented sigh. "Damn what they may say...I love you and we both needed it..."
"Mmmhmm," Shishi agreed, already falling into an exhausted sleep. Between training and then that bout... well, he couldn't keep his eyes open. "And whatever this tournament brings... I'm never leaving you," he promised, before sleep took him.
Suzuki smiled softly at that, and pressed a kiss to his sleeping lover's cheek. Wrapping a thin blanket about them, he closed his eyes, that beautiful smile gracing his lips. "I'll never leave you either...as long as you're mine..."