Yes, I really do hate you, leeks, with all of my heart. ALL OF
IT. This is the second chapter, which you are lucky enough to be
reading because of the people who reviewed. Please write in with ideas!
I'd love to hear them and I'll use any of them I can! And I will give
the person who sent it credit for the idea. ( Riku and Sora: We love
you, reviewers!) See? Riku and Sora love reviewers, so if you love Riku
and/or Sora, you'll review! By the way...thanks to my one
reviewer...uh...oh my gosh! I forgot your name! crying I'm so SORRY!
But...you know who you are! This one's for you!
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. Or Namine. Because if I did, she'd be dead right now. And I DON'T approve of Riku x Namine pairings! Not that I won't use them. If it's what the people want!
"Riku, I'm starving!" Sora was sitting on the floor playing Old Maid with Kairi.
"That's it, I win again." Kairi put her cards down. "Sora, you lazy bum! You aren't even paying attention!"
"That's because I'm too busy trying NOT to pay attention to my stomach!" Sora cringed.
Suddenly there was a huge crash. Everything in the gummi ship shook.
"Riku, what are you DOING!" Kairi yelled, running up to where Riku was supposedly driving the ship, when...
"Hey, what are you guys yelling about? And what was that sound?" Riku walked out of the bathroom eating a cheese danish.
"What heck? What are you doing, Riku? You were supposed to be flying the ship!" Kairi couldn't believe his stupidity.
Riku munched on the danish. "Oh, I was? Oops." He shrugged.
"See, I told you I should've driven the ship," Sora whispered to Kairi. "And more importantly," he said to Riku, "Where did you get that danish! I'm starving here and you're in the bathroom gobbling up pastries!"
"Woah woah woah, Sora. This is MY pastry. And I was eating them in the bathroom so I could have them all to my self. But here, you can have an apple." Riku handed Sora a shiny red apple. "It's a magical apple!"
"Hey, do I look like Snow White? I'm not that dumb." Sora folded his arms.
"But, whoever eats it gets their wish come true!" Riku talked like he was telling a story to a 3-year-old.
"Did you say wish?" Sora grabbed the apple and was about to take a bite when Kairi snatched it away from him. "Hey, that was my wish! Get your own!"
"You really are dumb sometimes, Sora." She chucked the apple at Riku's head. "Since you can't drive this ship right, it looks like I'm gonna have to do it myself."
"Wait, you can't..." Riku jumped forward to stop Kairi, but it was too late. She was already at the controls.
"Too bad, pastry boy. Sit down! We're going to the nearest Pizza Pigout Palace. I have half-price coupons." Kairi shoved Sora backward from where he was standing, pouting about his apple. "It's going to take a fortune to feed you two. You too, Snow White. Sit down!"
Kairi stopped the ship outside Albonso's Pizza. "It's close enough. They have half-price pizza Mondays. Get out, you two."
"Yes! Thank GOD! FOOD AT LAST!" Sora jumped out and ran toward the restaurant.
When Riku jumped out of the ship, he kissed the ground. "Thank GOD! LAND!" He ran after Sora in case Kairi had the idea of forcing him back into the gummi ship and driving again.
"Geez, it wasn't that bad!" Kairi ran in after them.
Meanwhile, a dumb kid named Joe Mopper (A/N: This is another real person with slight changes to their last name to hide their identity) was standing on the other side of the ship. He had been talking to three girls just outside the pizza place when...
(Flashback)
"So, I was all, 'Dude, you need to change your wardrobe.' And he was all, 'Man, I think I look fine in Puce.' And I was like-" Joe Mopper was talking to three Prep Girls and trying to act like Mr. Macho.
Suddenly there was a huge crash, and the three girls who had been straing at him admiringly 'disappeared' under a weird ship.
(End Flashback)
"Dude," said Joe. "Where did those chicks go?" He scratched his ugly curly head. Suddenly there was a tap on his shoulder.
"Hi I'm..." said a mysterious man who looked just like Ansem only wearing a little black mask.
"It's Sindey-o and el Captain Evil-o!" said Sindey in a really bad Spanish accent. "I'm taking Spanish. I have an G-. I also went to the bookstore and got a new Emo CD. I'm just a poser, but-"
"Shut up! If you're going to be my minion of darkness, you're going to have to STOP DOING THAT! NO WONDER EVERYONE HATES YOU!"
"Dude, who are, like, you?" Joe asked stupidly, for Sindey was also wearing a little mask, only hers was purple because I know that her favorite color is red because she has gone on and on and on and on and on about it.
"I told you, we're..." Sindey started, but was cut off by Captain Evil.
"We are fighters of darkne-I mean, justice. Join us and we'll make you smarter, Joe Ugly. I mean, what did you say your name was? I was making an inference."
"Uh, let me check my super-cool boxers that stick halfway out of my pants. R E P P O M. Uh...that. That's my last name." Joe then instead of putting his boxers back into his pants pulled them out more. "And I don't need smarts. I got plenty of thems, and 'sides, smarts don't get the chickies. It's the looks, man."
"Uh, whatever. Join the dark side, and you can be the Amazing Boy Stupid, Joe...what did you say it was again? Reppom?" Captain Evil patted Joe on the shoulder.
"Dude, get your hand off me. It's, like, uncool to touch a cool guy. And yeah, that's a cool name. Amazing Boy Stupid...ha ha ha...what's that mean? Is it cool?"
"Of course, my boy! I NEVER lie!" said Captain Evil, who was at that present moment lying (badly) about his name and his side of preferred heroism, thus making him also lie about lying.
"Man, I'm stuffed!" Sora downed his glass of Dr. Mepper. "I love this stuff!"
Riku rolled his eyes. "You know the generic kind is never any good. I only drink NAME BRAND."
Meanwhile, girls from all over the restaurant were staring. "Isn't he hot?" they whispered, pointing at Riku.
One person in the corner turned to the person in the booth next to hers. "Do you even know who that is?"
The girl shook her head. "No way. But he must be famous. I'm gonna go get his autograph. Want me to get you one? You're Rain, right? You like to write stories, right?"
"No. I'm not Rain. I'm-" What she said was blocked out by a bunch of plates crashing.
"Sorry!" the pizza guy yelled.
"-and I don't want his autograph. I want his SOUL." Rain finished.
"You're really weird." The girl got up. "Wait a second, do you have any paper?"
"I ALWAYS have paper, you pinhead." Rain pulled out a small red notebook. "I write stuff in it. Want to read some?"
The girl took the notebook. "But all that's in here are some weird sentences, like 'Nathan likes Sid' and morbid drawings of stick-people."
"I know." Rain smiled.
"Ugh...just come with me. I don't want to carry this thing." The girl shoved the notebook at Rain and grabbed her by the arm.
"Ew! Get your popular hands off of me, you prep!" But it was no use. Rain could not get away from the Riku-crazy prep girl.
Finally they reached the table. Riku, Sora, and Kairi looked up at them.
"Stop! This is kidnapping! Let go of me! Your hands BURN!" Rain started punching at the stupid popular girl.
The girl finally let go "It's not! I only took you across the room! Now give me a piece of paper. And stop hitting me! You're damaging my perfect skin." Rain grudgingly tore out a scrap of paper and handed it to Popular Girl, who gave it to Riku. "I want your autograph. Are you famous? Let me take a picture of you on my new shiny picture cell-phone!" She whipped out a sparkly pink rhinestone studded phone. "Say cheese, hottie!"
Riku sat there looking bewildered. "Wow, I really am a hit with the ladies!" He looked at Rain, who was cringing. "What's the matter with you?"
"I'm allergic to preppy."
"Do you want my-"
"No, Riku. I don't want your autograph. I want your SOUL." Rain smiled.
"You're creeping me out! You can't have my soul!" Riku slid backwards.
"Are you a minion of darkness?" Sora asked reaching for his Keyblade.
"Gee, that's really shiny. Can I see it?" Rain admired the shiny Keyblade.
"Do it, Sora! Anything to stop her from stealing my soul!" Riku grabbed Sora's Keyblade and handed it to Rain. "Here! Keep it!"
"Aw, that's nice. But no thanks. I have plenty of weapons. I got them off of E-bay." (I don't own E-bay)
Rain handed the Keyblade back to Sora. "I just want your soul."
"No! Stay away from me!" Riku screamed, while Popular Girl continued to take pictures of him and drool.
Rain pulled out a camera. "Don't smile. Grin. Riku grins." She clicked the button. "Click! See? I stole your soul!"
"Wait a...what?" Riku leaned forward. "But I thought you were going to-"
"People used to think cameras stole souls," whispered Rain. "And some still do." She glanced at Popular Girl. "Too bad it isn't true..."
Then Popular Girl's phone was full, so she noticed Sora. "Hey, you're kinda cute too. Not as hot as him...in fact, you're not hot at all...but I can't take anymore pictures, anyway, so just sign my arm." Don't ask me why popular girls write all over each other's arms. I don't know. Their ways are strange and foreign to me. Not that I'm UN-popular. Popular people just bug me.
"Hey!" Kairi jumped up and grabbed Popular Girl by the neck. "Get your ugly pink self AWAY from MY Sora."
"Eh? Is it a cat fight?" Rain turned around. "I like cats. Meow meow." She sat down next to Riku and grabbed a slice of pizza. "Go, Kairi, go! And none of that clawing and slapping stuff from you! Fight HARD!"
"You can't hurt me! I'm popular!" said Popular Girl, and she laughed. "I can get any boy I want. Wanna see?" She leaned toward Sora. "Like I was saying, you're really cute, you little cutie!"
"I WARNED you. Normally I don't like to fight, but you, YOU UGLY WITCH, are a special exception!" She punched Popular Girl in the mouth.
"Woo! Yeah! This is cool!" Rain high-fived Riku.
"Ahh! I'm going to have a bruise on my perfect skin!" Popular Girl was getting mad. "That's it! I WILL beat you and then I'll go out with BOTH of them!" She started clawing at Kairi's face.
"Is that the best you can do?" Kairi was at least two feet from Popular Girl's flailing arms. "HAH! THIS ISN'T EVEN A COMPETITION!" She took out a paintball gun. "TIME TO FACE KAIRI!"
"NO! THIS FABRIC STAINS!" Popular Girl shielded her revealing pink shirt. "DON'T DO IT! YOU CAN HAVE HIM!"
"Wow, I didn't know Kairi had a paintball gun!" Riku whistled. "You're right, whoever you are! This IS getting good!"
Sora was sitting hunched under the table, freaked out. "Uh, Kairi, you can...you can stop now...please?"
"NO WAY! I'M GONNA GET THIS STUPID PREPPY GIRL!" Kairi pulled the trigger. Paintballs started to slam Popular Girl. "YOU TOUCHED MY SORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! DIE!"
"I don't think I should've let Kairi drink all that generic soda..." Riku was starting to look freaked out too.
"Uh...yeah..." Rain was scared as well. "Quick!" Sora jumped up and grabbed Kairi. "We have to get out of here before she gets WORSE!" He started running for the door, dragging Kairi behind him, who was still screaming.
"THIS ISN'T OVER! I WILL FIND YOU! STAY AWAY FROM MY SORA!" Kairi was still firing paintballs.
"She can get worse?" Riku asked, then shuddered.
Popular Girl was on the floor, unconscious, her pink shirt stained beyond recognition, as was her straightened long blonde hair.
The manager came running out toward them. "Hey you crazy kids! You're going to pay for this mess!"
"I'm not paying for this!" Riku grabbed Rain. "You're a witness! You're coming with us!"
"Yes! Cool! I'm getting kidnapped by the coolest people ever!" Rain grabbed her commonplace book. She jotted down something that looked like 'The fish in Pish stay mainly in the dish.' "Take this, Brother! I rock!"