Disclaimer: I don't own South Park or any of its characters.
The Chef Album
It had been years. It had been about 6 years since that horrible day that no one ever spoke of again. This day was the day when a beloved friend, brother and elementary school chef died. His name was Chef.
Everyone remembered Chef, but no one ever really thought about him anymore. Sure, people would bring him up when comparing the high school chef's cooking to that of the elementary school chef.
In the end, no one really let it get them down. They lived their daily lives minding their own business. No one ever let death get them down for long. Strangely enough, deep down in South Park, there was still one boy who thought about Chef. His name was Stan Marsh.
He remembered Chef's death well. Why did he remember when his friends didn't even remember how he died? That's simple. He had the whole scene in his mind.
Every time he slept, he would always have a nightmare squeezed between the start and end of his current dream. This nightmare was always the same thing… Chef's death. He experienced the whole thing five times a week. Sometimes, it would be every day of the week. He never told anyone, though.
How come Stan never told? He was now in high school. Nightmares were now embarrassing to confess. Sure, his friend Kyle still had nightmares every time he saw or heard anything that reminded him of death (Often due to the fact that Cartman would always try to trick him into believing something related to death) but those were just during his little phases, and they did often lead to him trying to save the world only to learn that he was fighting for the wrong cause.
Stan's dreams, on the other hand, were persistent. He was glad whenever he could go one night without seeing the image in his mind, but it happened so frequently that he felt like telling people frequently.
Every time he had the recurring nightmare, he would always wake up and write a couple of lines about something in a small book, then go to sleep.
After many years, on his 15th birthday, it was time. He had finally finished writing in his book and was ready to do something he should have done a long time ago.
His friends knocked on the door. Stan's mother, Sharon answered it and greeted, "Hello boys. Are you here for Stan's birthday? Come on in."
Stan's best friend, Kyle sat down on a couch and said, "Stan said he had something very special to show us! I can't wait to see it!" Eric Cartman, who was now thin after finally having liposuction, sat down next to Kyle and stated, "It's probably the new video game system he always wanted. His mom probably bought him the Okama Game-Pyramid and he needs people to play with."
Another friend, who now wore a black hoodie rather than his usual parka after his father had gotten a permanent job, better known as Kenny, shook his head and remarked, "He probably got another shirt from his grandma."
The three laughed as Stan walked down the stairs, holding the book in his arms.
Cartman noticed him holding and book and scoffed, "You called us over here to show us a BOOK? Even Kenny could get a much more special present than that!" Kyle nudged him and retorted, "Even when you're thin, you're still a big fatass!"
Stan sat down in between his friends and stated, "This isn't just any book. This is something I have worked on for 6 years." Cartman rolled his eyes and stated, "Look, if you wasted your life writing a book for 6 years, then it's obviously too long to read. Screw you guys, I'm going home." Stan grimaced and remarked, "It's only 20 pages long! It took me so long because I only wrote a few words a day. Besides, if you leave, you're not getting cake." Cartman tried to fight his urges, but his longing for cake forced him back into the seat.
Kyle noticed the title and asked, "Why is it titled 'Chef Album'?" Stan smiled, opened it up and answered, "It's a song book I wrote. It has the lyrics to every song Chef ever sang to us." Kyle froze and said, "That's real sweet. None of us have ever forgotten Chef." Cartman sighed and said, "What I wouldn't give for some meatloaf and Salisbury steak."
Cartman noticed the 'When a Man Loves a Woman' song and asked, "How did you get the lyrics to that? I'm the only one he ever sang that to." Stan shrugged and said, "It just seemed like something Chef would sing."
There were many songs in there, such as 'Sometimes you Love a Succubus' down to Chef's famous song, 'Love Gravy'. Kyle smiled and said, "It's nice to relive the old days. I suddenly wish I could hear these songs again."
Kenny nodded as Cartman stated, "His voice was almost as good as the food he cooked."
Suddenly, Stan perked up and suggested, "We should have this made into an album!" Kyle gasped and asked, "How? No one in town sings better than Chef."
Stan nodded and replied, "We'll have to find someone whose voice is almost identical in every aspect."
Stan presented the song book to the head of the South Park radio station. The man looked at the book as a tear drop rolled down his cheek. "I remember these songs so well. Chef was a musical genius. I will be more than happy to make this into an album, but we'll need the right singer."
Hours passed as many tried to come close to Chef's wonderful voice. Mrs. Garrison tried along with Big Gay Al. Heck, even Stan's father, Randy, tried out. Sadly, no one in South Park had a voice that even came close.
The head of the studio hung his head as he turned to the boys. He sighed and stated, "We couldn't find anyone. I guess Chef's songs will never be heard a… oh, hell, we'll have Elton John do it!"
After about a week, people of South Park turned their radios on to hear something magical. The citizens finally heard Chef's songs after all these years… sung by Elton John. The head of the radio studio rang Stan's doorbell with glee. He smiled and stated, "Kid, you are the biggest success ever! In one day, your album has already gone platinum!" Stan couldn't believe it. He didn't think that so many people missed Chef so much.
The man jumped up and down and said, "To make things better, we are having a concert where Elton John will sing Chef's songs as we give Chef a tribute. The event has already sold 2 million tickets!"
Stan didn't think so many had cared. He just stared and dropped his jaw as the head of the studio grinned and asked, "Will you attend this celebration?" Stan smiled and said, "Of course I will."
So, Stan and his friends along with many residents gathered and paid their dear respect for Chef and the years of joy he had brought. Even 50 years into the future long after Stan had died of old age, people were still listening to the Chef Album.
This is a tribute to the greatest character to ever enter an animated comedy, and he will be missed dearly.
(I do not own any legal rights to Chef being dead. Matt and Trey really did kill him off, so I am not making this up! Good night, everyone.)