Disclaimer: Hey yall! I know you've been waiting so's I'll cut to the
cheese! Hehe, omg Vicki had a major cheese fetish today. The ball's in
the next chappie and we meet what I like to call the Dark Evils (three bad
bitches) the winner of the contest comes up next chapter! And the mystery
man, doo de doo, I just love watchin ya squirm. Onwards and enjoy!
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"We're goin' ta need a whole 'nother carriage for all of this junk." Godley said tapping one of Abberline's parcels with his foot.
"Careful, Godley," I warned, "I did not just sell my house to have you trample those clothes."
"Beggin' yer pardon, Miss Harlington." He grunted.
Abberline stood under a street lamp which shown on him with a hazy half light. It had taken the whole day to be fitted, and it was now almost twilight.
I touched Godley's arm, "If you will take these with you," I gestured to the many boxes at our feet, "we will get another carriage, I think."
"Very good, Miss Harlington." He agreed, signaling for another cabby.
"........and," I continued in a whisper, "if you wouldn't mind sharing with Ellie, I would like to have a few words with Abberline."
Godley's eyebrows rose.
"Don't worry. I'm not going to break him in half, I just want to speak with him."
"Why do I 'ave an odd feeling it will turn into a yellin' match like yowlin' cats gone mad. I'm not so sure yeh be wantin' ta have another row with 'im."
"Don't be such a worry wort, Sergent, besides you know you want to share an ill lit carriage ride with Miss Miller." I said slyly inclining my head to Ellie's form but a few feet away.
Godley's eyes snapped to mine.
"Oh come now, you didn't think I could miss those goo-goo glances you've been sending her way, did you? Come on, seize the day."
With an encouraging push he was over next to Ellie and helping her in carrying all of the bags.
"Abberline," I called folding my arms over my chest, "are you planning on staying there all night?"
Without a word he joined me in our carriage, slamming the door. We began our ride back home.
"Alright. Spit it out. What's wrong?" I asked cutting to the chase.
He threw me a hard look and then continued to look out the window.
"You're not even going to talk to me, are you?" I asked him sharply.
All I got in return was gripping silence.
"Well you're going to have to." I told him harshly, I grabbed his chin forcing his head up, "Look at me." His eyes settled on mine with such a look of hate and coldness I instinctively pulled back afraid, "What is it?"
Another long hard look and he turned back to the window.
"Fine!" I snapped, "Be the toddler of this situation! Well two can play at the immature silent treatment. You're going down!"
I spun angrily away, huffing at the window, watching my hot and furious breath mist across the surface of the glass. We were nearly to the house when Abberline sighed and lost the game.
"I don't like tha' dress."
My head snapped so fast I was reeling with the pain in my neck, "What?"
"I don't like tha' dress yeh bought today."
I stared at him for one moment in complete and utter shock, and then I threw my head back and roared with laughter.
"Let me get this straight!" I snorkled ( a funny thing I do sometimes when laughing) "You have been acting like a pouty little kid all day just 'cause you don't like the color of my gown?! And I thought women were the only ones who got PMS!" I snorted a bit, "Men."
"You're not goin' ta wear it."
"WHAAA-HAAAAT?!" I exclaimed, widening my eyes, not sure if I had heard him correctly.
"Yeh heard me, Sarah."
That got my attention. He had used my real name. My laughter died.
"I'm not." I repeated.
"No, yeh not."
I stared at him a while more, "You're not really serious are you?"
There was that glare again.
"Oh my god, you are."
Now the glare was aimed at the window again.
"Well let me tell you something, tiger, you're just gonna have to deal with it, because I ain't taking it back. We spent nine hours at that damn shopt to find that dress and I'm not going to not wear it just because you want to get all paternal on me NOW. Besides," I added tensely, "I happen to like it."
"Did ye not hear me?!" He shouted suddenly, pounding his hand on the seat.
"Yes, damnit, I heard you!" I shouted back.
"Yeh will not wear it, is tha' understood?!" He commanded.
"It's understood," I ground out through my teeth, "but it shall not be heeded." And with that I popped open the door to get out.
Abberline's arm wrapped around my waist, slamming me back into the seat.
"We are not finished here!" He threatened.
"Oh yes we are, DAD!" I yanked myself out of his grasp, nearly falling down the stairs of the carriage, scrambling out to find Ellie and Godley waiting on the other side. I hurried past them.
"Ellie if you would bring all these to our rooms. Thank you."
I ran for the door up the walk way with Abberline close behind me. Faintly I heard Godley mutter, "I knew it. Like mad cats."
Throwing open the door I sped into the hall only thinking to make it to the safety of my room. I did make it but a second later there was a furious pounding on my door.
"Go blow it out your hole!" I hissed at the door, checking again to see that it was locked.
"Open the door."
"No, you possessive, domineering, pig-freak!"
"Open the door!"
"No!"
"Damnit, Sarah! Open this door now before I break it open!"
"Knock yourself out!" I shot back, turning my back to the door. I heard the sound of a lock being picked. Damnit, after the bathroom incident I should have confiscated all objects that could have been used for breaking and entering. The knob turned.
"Oh no you don't!" I cried springing toward the door throwing all my weight against it.
With a grunt the door was forced open, sending me sprawling against the wooden posts of my bed and Abberline strode in as if he own the place, toward me.
"Get out!" I shouted, "Or I'll........." I picked up a china teapot from that morning, "go psycho-Scarlet O' Hara-on-your-ass and throw this at your head!" It was a hollow threat but as it was in all truth I was getting really scared, because he was still walking toward me with that look of rage in his eyes.
"Get out!" I shrilled, the jug shaking in my hand.
He was at me before I could stop him, taking the jug from me and slamming it on the table, his hands then gripping my shoulders harshly, the fingers bruising my arms.
"Not until yeh say yeh will not wear tha' dress." He growled the warning of a wild dog about to attack.
"Never gonna freaking happen!" I spat.
"I will not have yeh wearin' tha' disgustin' bit of finery! I will not!" He shouted, shaking me like a rag doll. If I had been one of my button eyes would have come undone with the force.
I instantly stilled bracing my stability on him, stilling him as well. He was breathing furiously through his nose, his chest heaving with the will to try and control each breath. "Why are you so afraid of a dress, Abberline?" He blinked. Pulled back dropping his hands from my arms, "Who says I am."
"Well, me.........and that odd ritualistic caveman routine, 'me-Tarzan-you- Jane-do-as-I-say-BULLshit display that just went on. What is up with you? You've been a bit spastic ever since the clerks came onto you in the shop."
Glaring at me he refused to answer me, spun strangely like Jack Sparrow on his heel and marched toward the door, throwing a sentence back over his shoulder, "Get another dress."
I ran to the door, slamming it closed with my body.
"Move." He commanded tightly through clenched teeth.
"You started this hell ride, now you finish it." I ordered sternly.
Striking lightening fast he made to grab for the door handle but alas too late for I had just locked it again. I now had the key in my hand, an only too easy position for him to get at.
Now I couldn't very well throw it at him, put it back in the door or chuck it in the fire because let's face it if I need a quick exit which the thought I might need soon I would have to have it handy. So I did the only thing I could think of in a blind state of panic. I stuck it down my bodice.
Cringe.
I know. Stupid they name is Sarah.
Abberline's eyes darkened, clouded over with a thick black smoke. I bit back a squeak of fright as he gripped my hips and rammed me the few remaining inches into the door.
"Give me the key." He no more than growled, his eyes seeming now overly bright despite the heavy darkness that swept the iris's of his eyes, boring into the back of my throat like burning black coals.
I gulped but kept my chin high, "Get it..........yourself."
Mother-frocker, what possessed me to say something like that?!
Well my feminine-pissed-off powers worked better than I had origionally planned, because instead of taking me up on that her spun away with a cry of frustration.
I raised my arms in helpless exasperation flopping them ruthlessly to my sides, "Just tell me why you're wiggin' out over some stupid dress."
He angrily gabbed the pitcher I had threatened to break his nose with and for one second he would carry out the threat himself but he only took as small flask out from his coat and poured himself a drink and downed it.
"No? Fine, I'll just have to guess." I crossed my hands over my chest, "You're mad because it matches the color of YOUR tux?" He ignored me, "That not it? Well then, you're desperately afraid that other guys will come on to me in that flattering display and you're just the tinsibit jealous." Oh I WISH.
Abberline snorted in harsh disdain as he poured himself another glass, "Hardly." He sneered.
I sighed, "Well the only other reason I can think of is that you think by putting on this dress I'm somehow gonna magically 'turn into'" I used the Doctor Evil quotes, "one of those stuck up pansy-peacocks of society. Which is completely and utterly ridic.........."
Abberline's glass made it to his lips a third time but then was lowered slowly.
"Oh god, Abberline!" I expelled a surprised gust of air from my tense lungs, "Is that what you really think?!"
His hands idly played around the edge of his glass. He sighed. I marched over to him, turning him to face me, "Listen up, you silly ass." I said kindly, "you know me......more or less and after a month stuck in this house with me you should know that's not who I am. That's not who I'll ever be, I'm not like that. I'm not going to change, not for balls, or nobles, the queen or even you. You got that? That gown won't do anything. It's just gonna be plain ol' crazy me in a pretty dress. That's all."
Abberline glanced at me doubtfully.
"On my honor as a human oddity and a pain in the ass bitch," I swore to him, "I have every intention of making faces behind backs and slipping ice down dresses at this thing we have to go to."
Abberline chuckled, a sort of loud bark, as if he hadn't meant any sound to come out at all.
I smiled, "And yes, I'll even let you set fire to Doctor Farrel if you want to badly enough."
The cloud in his features lifted considerably at that thought.
"Alright? Is all that behind us now?" I asked.
Abberline nodded rather sheepishly for someone who had just nailed me to a door. Rawwr!
"Good. Oh and if you ever pull that male dominance-macho man thing on me again, I'll beat the living shit out of you, ok? Super."
I walked him over to the door, "Now get out. I wanna get some sleep if that's alright with you, or would you like to insult the rest of my closet, you big strong man you?"
"Oh ha ha, ho ho.........." He laughed sarcastically.
"Yes, you're a ho, now git!" I pushed him to the door.
"Ahem." He coughed, outstretching his hand, "the key."
"Wha..........OH right! Well don't' just stand there, turn around you're not getting a free show."
Abberline obeyed, his shaking form making it clear what he thought of the whole situation.
"Oh Blast The Mighty Clans of the SHIITE!"
"Wha'?"
"It's stuck!"
"Wha'?!"
Actually it was more like, "Wha-ha-ha-ha-ha-HA-ha-t?!"
"You heard me! It's stuck down there! Goddamnit, why do they make these things so tight!?"
Abberline was still laughing only more so.
"Oh grow up!" I cried, "Call for Ellie."
A second later we heard Ellie's voice beyond the door. "Miss? Miss, are ye alrigh'?"
"Ellie could you please get Mr. Cox and have him break down the door?"
"Why?" She exclaimed startled, "Wha's 'appened?!"
"Don't ask." I shot a glance at Abberline who yes was still laughing. Oh yes let's point fingers and make fun of the clueless girl from another century, that's how we spend all our Friday nights these days. "Good lord, don't even THINK of asking."
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Hey people, I need a wave a reviewers to rain hailstone reviews on Pirates Hilariousity and get my partner in crime to get up off her bum and update the sea barnacle! Of course you don't have to but I'm hoping yall can get her to get cracking so's I can get to the Totuga part of the story. I hope all ye like, there shall be a number of winners, three baddies, one goodie, and there might be a few walk ons for some characters in the contest. I had a lot of fun doing this, and am at the moment writing the next chapter so don't ye fret.
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"We're goin' ta need a whole 'nother carriage for all of this junk." Godley said tapping one of Abberline's parcels with his foot.
"Careful, Godley," I warned, "I did not just sell my house to have you trample those clothes."
"Beggin' yer pardon, Miss Harlington." He grunted.
Abberline stood under a street lamp which shown on him with a hazy half light. It had taken the whole day to be fitted, and it was now almost twilight.
I touched Godley's arm, "If you will take these with you," I gestured to the many boxes at our feet, "we will get another carriage, I think."
"Very good, Miss Harlington." He agreed, signaling for another cabby.
"........and," I continued in a whisper, "if you wouldn't mind sharing with Ellie, I would like to have a few words with Abberline."
Godley's eyebrows rose.
"Don't worry. I'm not going to break him in half, I just want to speak with him."
"Why do I 'ave an odd feeling it will turn into a yellin' match like yowlin' cats gone mad. I'm not so sure yeh be wantin' ta have another row with 'im."
"Don't be such a worry wort, Sergent, besides you know you want to share an ill lit carriage ride with Miss Miller." I said slyly inclining my head to Ellie's form but a few feet away.
Godley's eyes snapped to mine.
"Oh come now, you didn't think I could miss those goo-goo glances you've been sending her way, did you? Come on, seize the day."
With an encouraging push he was over next to Ellie and helping her in carrying all of the bags.
"Abberline," I called folding my arms over my chest, "are you planning on staying there all night?"
Without a word he joined me in our carriage, slamming the door. We began our ride back home.
"Alright. Spit it out. What's wrong?" I asked cutting to the chase.
He threw me a hard look and then continued to look out the window.
"You're not even going to talk to me, are you?" I asked him sharply.
All I got in return was gripping silence.
"Well you're going to have to." I told him harshly, I grabbed his chin forcing his head up, "Look at me." His eyes settled on mine with such a look of hate and coldness I instinctively pulled back afraid, "What is it?"
Another long hard look and he turned back to the window.
"Fine!" I snapped, "Be the toddler of this situation! Well two can play at the immature silent treatment. You're going down!"
I spun angrily away, huffing at the window, watching my hot and furious breath mist across the surface of the glass. We were nearly to the house when Abberline sighed and lost the game.
"I don't like tha' dress."
My head snapped so fast I was reeling with the pain in my neck, "What?"
"I don't like tha' dress yeh bought today."
I stared at him for one moment in complete and utter shock, and then I threw my head back and roared with laughter.
"Let me get this straight!" I snorkled ( a funny thing I do sometimes when laughing) "You have been acting like a pouty little kid all day just 'cause you don't like the color of my gown?! And I thought women were the only ones who got PMS!" I snorted a bit, "Men."
"You're not goin' ta wear it."
"WHAAA-HAAAAT?!" I exclaimed, widening my eyes, not sure if I had heard him correctly.
"Yeh heard me, Sarah."
That got my attention. He had used my real name. My laughter died.
"I'm not." I repeated.
"No, yeh not."
I stared at him a while more, "You're not really serious are you?"
There was that glare again.
"Oh my god, you are."
Now the glare was aimed at the window again.
"Well let me tell you something, tiger, you're just gonna have to deal with it, because I ain't taking it back. We spent nine hours at that damn shopt to find that dress and I'm not going to not wear it just because you want to get all paternal on me NOW. Besides," I added tensely, "I happen to like it."
"Did ye not hear me?!" He shouted suddenly, pounding his hand on the seat.
"Yes, damnit, I heard you!" I shouted back.
"Yeh will not wear it, is tha' understood?!" He commanded.
"It's understood," I ground out through my teeth, "but it shall not be heeded." And with that I popped open the door to get out.
Abberline's arm wrapped around my waist, slamming me back into the seat.
"We are not finished here!" He threatened.
"Oh yes we are, DAD!" I yanked myself out of his grasp, nearly falling down the stairs of the carriage, scrambling out to find Ellie and Godley waiting on the other side. I hurried past them.
"Ellie if you would bring all these to our rooms. Thank you."
I ran for the door up the walk way with Abberline close behind me. Faintly I heard Godley mutter, "I knew it. Like mad cats."
Throwing open the door I sped into the hall only thinking to make it to the safety of my room. I did make it but a second later there was a furious pounding on my door.
"Go blow it out your hole!" I hissed at the door, checking again to see that it was locked.
"Open the door."
"No, you possessive, domineering, pig-freak!"
"Open the door!"
"No!"
"Damnit, Sarah! Open this door now before I break it open!"
"Knock yourself out!" I shot back, turning my back to the door. I heard the sound of a lock being picked. Damnit, after the bathroom incident I should have confiscated all objects that could have been used for breaking and entering. The knob turned.
"Oh no you don't!" I cried springing toward the door throwing all my weight against it.
With a grunt the door was forced open, sending me sprawling against the wooden posts of my bed and Abberline strode in as if he own the place, toward me.
"Get out!" I shouted, "Or I'll........." I picked up a china teapot from that morning, "go psycho-Scarlet O' Hara-on-your-ass and throw this at your head!" It was a hollow threat but as it was in all truth I was getting really scared, because he was still walking toward me with that look of rage in his eyes.
"Get out!" I shrilled, the jug shaking in my hand.
He was at me before I could stop him, taking the jug from me and slamming it on the table, his hands then gripping my shoulders harshly, the fingers bruising my arms.
"Not until yeh say yeh will not wear tha' dress." He growled the warning of a wild dog about to attack.
"Never gonna freaking happen!" I spat.
"I will not have yeh wearin' tha' disgustin' bit of finery! I will not!" He shouted, shaking me like a rag doll. If I had been one of my button eyes would have come undone with the force.
I instantly stilled bracing my stability on him, stilling him as well. He was breathing furiously through his nose, his chest heaving with the will to try and control each breath. "Why are you so afraid of a dress, Abberline?" He blinked. Pulled back dropping his hands from my arms, "Who says I am."
"Well, me.........and that odd ritualistic caveman routine, 'me-Tarzan-you- Jane-do-as-I-say-BULLshit display that just went on. What is up with you? You've been a bit spastic ever since the clerks came onto you in the shop."
Glaring at me he refused to answer me, spun strangely like Jack Sparrow on his heel and marched toward the door, throwing a sentence back over his shoulder, "Get another dress."
I ran to the door, slamming it closed with my body.
"Move." He commanded tightly through clenched teeth.
"You started this hell ride, now you finish it." I ordered sternly.
Striking lightening fast he made to grab for the door handle but alas too late for I had just locked it again. I now had the key in my hand, an only too easy position for him to get at.
Now I couldn't very well throw it at him, put it back in the door or chuck it in the fire because let's face it if I need a quick exit which the thought I might need soon I would have to have it handy. So I did the only thing I could think of in a blind state of panic. I stuck it down my bodice.
Cringe.
I know. Stupid they name is Sarah.
Abberline's eyes darkened, clouded over with a thick black smoke. I bit back a squeak of fright as he gripped my hips and rammed me the few remaining inches into the door.
"Give me the key." He no more than growled, his eyes seeming now overly bright despite the heavy darkness that swept the iris's of his eyes, boring into the back of my throat like burning black coals.
I gulped but kept my chin high, "Get it..........yourself."
Mother-frocker, what possessed me to say something like that?!
Well my feminine-pissed-off powers worked better than I had origionally planned, because instead of taking me up on that her spun away with a cry of frustration.
I raised my arms in helpless exasperation flopping them ruthlessly to my sides, "Just tell me why you're wiggin' out over some stupid dress."
He angrily gabbed the pitcher I had threatened to break his nose with and for one second he would carry out the threat himself but he only took as small flask out from his coat and poured himself a drink and downed it.
"No? Fine, I'll just have to guess." I crossed my hands over my chest, "You're mad because it matches the color of YOUR tux?" He ignored me, "That not it? Well then, you're desperately afraid that other guys will come on to me in that flattering display and you're just the tinsibit jealous." Oh I WISH.
Abberline snorted in harsh disdain as he poured himself another glass, "Hardly." He sneered.
I sighed, "Well the only other reason I can think of is that you think by putting on this dress I'm somehow gonna magically 'turn into'" I used the Doctor Evil quotes, "one of those stuck up pansy-peacocks of society. Which is completely and utterly ridic.........."
Abberline's glass made it to his lips a third time but then was lowered slowly.
"Oh god, Abberline!" I expelled a surprised gust of air from my tense lungs, "Is that what you really think?!"
His hands idly played around the edge of his glass. He sighed. I marched over to him, turning him to face me, "Listen up, you silly ass." I said kindly, "you know me......more or less and after a month stuck in this house with me you should know that's not who I am. That's not who I'll ever be, I'm not like that. I'm not going to change, not for balls, or nobles, the queen or even you. You got that? That gown won't do anything. It's just gonna be plain ol' crazy me in a pretty dress. That's all."
Abberline glanced at me doubtfully.
"On my honor as a human oddity and a pain in the ass bitch," I swore to him, "I have every intention of making faces behind backs and slipping ice down dresses at this thing we have to go to."
Abberline chuckled, a sort of loud bark, as if he hadn't meant any sound to come out at all.
I smiled, "And yes, I'll even let you set fire to Doctor Farrel if you want to badly enough."
The cloud in his features lifted considerably at that thought.
"Alright? Is all that behind us now?" I asked.
Abberline nodded rather sheepishly for someone who had just nailed me to a door. Rawwr!
"Good. Oh and if you ever pull that male dominance-macho man thing on me again, I'll beat the living shit out of you, ok? Super."
I walked him over to the door, "Now get out. I wanna get some sleep if that's alright with you, or would you like to insult the rest of my closet, you big strong man you?"
"Oh ha ha, ho ho.........." He laughed sarcastically.
"Yes, you're a ho, now git!" I pushed him to the door.
"Ahem." He coughed, outstretching his hand, "the key."
"Wha..........OH right! Well don't' just stand there, turn around you're not getting a free show."
Abberline obeyed, his shaking form making it clear what he thought of the whole situation.
"Oh Blast The Mighty Clans of the SHIITE!"
"Wha'?"
"It's stuck!"
"Wha'?!"
Actually it was more like, "Wha-ha-ha-ha-ha-HA-ha-t?!"
"You heard me! It's stuck down there! Goddamnit, why do they make these things so tight!?"
Abberline was still laughing only more so.
"Oh grow up!" I cried, "Call for Ellie."
A second later we heard Ellie's voice beyond the door. "Miss? Miss, are ye alrigh'?"
"Ellie could you please get Mr. Cox and have him break down the door?"
"Why?" She exclaimed startled, "Wha's 'appened?!"
"Don't ask." I shot a glance at Abberline who yes was still laughing. Oh yes let's point fingers and make fun of the clueless girl from another century, that's how we spend all our Friday nights these days. "Good lord, don't even THINK of asking."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~
Hey people, I need a wave a reviewers to rain hailstone reviews on Pirates Hilariousity and get my partner in crime to get up off her bum and update the sea barnacle! Of course you don't have to but I'm hoping yall can get her to get cracking so's I can get to the Totuga part of the story. I hope all ye like, there shall be a number of winners, three baddies, one goodie, and there might be a few walk ons for some characters in the contest. I had a lot of fun doing this, and am at the moment writing the next chapter so don't ye fret.