Here is the new chapter, thanks for all the follows/favorites, and kudos! It really motivated me.
I am trying some new stuff with this fic that I didn't see before. I hope you guys will like it. Arc 1 might be the most important arc so please don't think like "When this will end and good stuff will begin?".
By writing this chapter I realized that I don't hate Fanon Emilia at all. That was a revelation. But still, she needs to get hit before you make her rise, that's in my opinion best way to write her since she has the plot force backing her constantly in canon. She is more likable when she gets hit by consequences.
I am not in my world anymore.
That's what I stated to myself, yet my reaction was out of the ordinary… the feelings rose from my heart, they are not bad at all. There is no panic at all.
The potential future. Adventure.
"I-I… never felt this alive in years!" I can feel the difference in my voice! it was monotone and deep but now…so alive.
What about mom and dad?
What am I going to do? I need to think about that. A quick start is important.
" I felt like I was ripped apart from my world and now… It feels natural."
But still, what am I going to do?
Whenever I fantasized about this specific situation I would imagine myself jumping on an adventure and letting fate decide everything for me but that seems foolish now. I can't be dumb.
"But it's not like I can act like I have a chance with the safest action."
I wasn't in a rural area where I can easily find a job I can do physically. This place is crowded so I doubt everyone has a job let alone someone like me who cannot read.
"Actually, there is no guarantee I can do any physical labor either. Demi-humans seem common here not to mention the probability of them being naturally jacked, and magic obviously exists so who is to say that there aren't people who can just boost their muscles and make someone like me ineligible, that's quite depressing."
If I could, my choice would be working at some place where I can do paperwork but I don't know how to read or write.
I secretly hoped that I would automatically know how to read, write and—
Oh, fuck!
Can I even understand people here? Or do they understand me?
Oh no! I should quickly test that and If I can't, I have to act like a mute to not be ridiculously suspicious since probably Japanese would be like an alien language or any language I know for that matter.
"I should just walk."
As Subaru walked he watched his surroundings and the people around him, he started counting different types of demi-humans by looks. There didn't seem to be any slaves which was a good sign so far. But he could not reject that possibility just yet.
He looked at his plastic bag which he was glad that he was in contact with. He just sneaked a peek to check if things inside were affected or not. He had to be cautious if he were to show off his newly turned from 'Common' to 'Legendary' rarity items people might catch interest in him and he was the weakest person in the world right now… he can't accept being a target.
He also checked his pocket… he didn't know if it was fortunate or unfortunate that he took his old phone for that night.
Well, at least it had a crazy long battery life. That was something. And one other thing was that… time on his phone was changed drastically but as he was thinking about that—
"Wait… why is that child not moving?"
As Subaru thought about how dangerous staying on the road like that is… he caught sight of the biggest ground dragon he had ever seen since he was in this world.
Boy was unlucky!
"He? Huaaa!?"
"There we go… next time, don't forget that moving is much safer than freezing in such moments!" Subaru flashed a smile while the kid was still in shock…
He took his hand and made him get up. Pet his head and kept walking.
'Ah… I am so scummy, I actually looked around to see if anyone would be impressed enough to a level I can get something from them. But I am that helpless.'
In actuality, people were impressed by him. While he didn't jump out of his way to save the kid like a hero. People were impressed by how casual and nonchalant he was. They were shocked because of that and when they reacted, Subaru wasn't there anymore.
'That guy was so weird looking'
'Yes! His eyes looked like he would make kids cry and yet it looked like they soften'
'True, but really, clothes are so weird.'
'Ahahahaha, that's true!'
People's day got better and everyone was talking loudly about the event that occurred.
And Subaru…
"Hey, do you have a moment?"
Huh?
"Oh, are you a soldier right? Sorry, I know my eyes are scary but I am no criminal! It's been several times I got caught because of that and I was always innocent! My eyes might be scary but it's not like every scary eye is the same!" He started ranting with a loud voice and the armored soldier sweatdropped at Subaru, but it's not like he could see that since the helmet covered his face.
'Well, at least he is weird as his clothes so maybe that's a good thing' But he dismissed those thoughts as it wasn't important right now.
"I saw you help that kid, it was nice of you, really."
"It's not that important, right? It's not like he would die or anything, I saw you charging up toward us, so nothing would change. I think I stole your heroic moment. " Subaru was totally honest about that. He said it like it was nothing.
"Wow, you are quite sharp to catch on to me but…well, you need to stop reading stories buddy. Or maybe stop being so pessimistic."
"W-what do you mean?"
"I mean if it was a kid saying this I would just laugh it off and put a tiny reality check. The thing is, what happened is you saved that buddy there. That's what is important. Focusing on the possible reality where I might be cheered by people and that's why you made a bad choice? You are a little bit cracked in the head but you are not a bad person."
"..."
"Wow, your expression entirely changed. It's almost as if no one ever told you that you are a good person."
"..."
"Hey, you know what? I am actually going to be off duty soon. Wanna hang around?"
"..."
"Don't worry, I am not suspicious of you or anything. It's just… you were walking quite fast and looked confused so I thought maybe…"
"..."
"Just think about it. You can just ask any guard station. Do your best buddy, you look young but you have eyes that eyes never saw. Not talking about how they look though. More like an intuition thing."
"Thank you very much… but I need to go. I will keep your words in mind."
"Well, have a good day!"
As his face showed no expression and his eyes were totally blank. Subaru went into an alleyway where he could be alone.
"Cough…Cough." He threw up even though there was no guarantee he could find food and the food he had was limited.
'Damnit… even though I am in this new world… nothing changed right?'
Being different was being different. That wasn't something that would change even with a location as big as this one. Difficulties might be different, and lives might be different, but in the end, people weren't shallow.
He supported himself while his head spun, and his heart was beating like he just completed a marathon.
He was having a panic attack.
Because transporting into another world did not erase his social problems and self-hatred.
It solved nothing at all.
And in truth, Subaru didn't expect that to happen. What he imagined was different, he wanted people to be shallow, this was a fantasy world with magic and other miracles. This was a place where nature was stronger and everyone had a fate.
Subaru truly wanted people to be shallow. That's why he felt shame for assuming that when that soldier talked to him like that.
Everyone had their own problems and there were good people with good intentions as well as the opposite.
His body felt like it was about to collapse. But in the end, he was unable to give up. When he made the choice not to give up, his body held together, and his mind was focused. The world returned to normal.
"At least I have some choices now… but still, an official worker learning about my irregularities will not help me in the long run. It will be a hindrance. I can't contact that guy before I learn more about this world."
He didn't need to think about anything but how to progress. That was all that mattered.
After fixing himself up, Subaru joined the crowd and walked aimlessly.
Until…
"Oh, an apple stand." I liked apples. It was my favorite fruit… but it's not like I have any money.
Or do I?
I got close to the stand, and the muscular man who owned the place noticed me. As we made eye contact, I pointed out the apples and asked.
"What are these?"
"Those are appas."
Appa? Not apple? That sounds like a joke. Perhaps this is just a lazy way of saying apple or something like that.
I would ask about that but there is something more important than that right now.
I the coins I took out of my wallet before, I opened my palm and showed them to the green-haired apple seller.
"Huh? What kind of money is that? You can't use that in Lugunica. Wait, that means you are broke right? Get the hell out of here! You are scaring customers with your scary eyes! Don't interfere with my business!"
And that was it. I learned a lot from this. Yen not having worth was most probable, that wasn't surprising but I also learned that nations used their own coins.
I was rudely dismissed. Not to mention… People here seem to love talking about my eyes more compared to people in middle school or strangers on Japanese streets.
'But seriously… he didn't have to shout at me like that.' It was such a waste. I liked apples too… but now I don't feel like buying from there in the future.
'And then, this place is called Lugunica! That would be a Kingdom right? Most likely. And with how crowded this place is… I think this place ought to be the capital.'
Now, all I can do is keep walking while keeping my ears open.
I did that for a while, I listened to people's conversations closely. I am not the type that ears drop people's talk but now I was trying my best to hear every word. It was essential. I needed information.
I didn't learn anything important… but now I know there are districts for special uses and people divided by their social status. There was even a healer district and even a magic district.
I saw people selling herbs and it seems merchants are important in this world. Some of them literally have businesses and even dominate their market.
Saw some carriages moving to certain places. It seems you can hop in some of them if it's not full and you pay a small amount. Merchants tried to get the most money it seemed. Even though there is a chance someone suspicious might get inside your ride.
I walked, I listened, and I observed.
And then… I was in an alleyway.
Subaru walked inside a dangerous back alley. That would be the start of his adventure in the capital. But he didn't know that yet.
"Hey… give us your time a little bit, won't ya?"
2 thugs, one of them had a long tongue and thin figure, the other was quite big and muscular.
Subaru did not say anything and tried to look intimidating and while the thugs considered their next move, Subaru did the same.
But what Subaru didn't know—
"Ah, what?"
They already made a plan for him.
Subaru didn't realize the short guy hiding in the hole under the wall that was covered with planks. He came out and kicked Subaru's leg, making him fall and open for a beating from three thugs.
"You are not so big now, are ya? You piece of shit." He kicked Subaru's stomach hard, making him spit and cough. He knew how it felt to be beaten but it hurt nonetheless.
Subaru looked up to see the guy's face. He was looking down at him while having a smug expression.
As if he was expecting him to do that, the thug brought his foot on Subaru's cheek and pressed it. He was getting pleasure from beating and dominating a weakling like this guy. That's what they thought.
They kicked him and kicked him.
He vomited and spitted blood.
The tiny thug would hit his vulnerable places to compensate for his size.
The big guy would play with him as if he was a soccer ball.
They all laughed and laughed.
"I can't believe this guy is so weak."
"And he was trying to look tough"
"It's so fun to play with him!"
Subaru had many phases while he got beaten.
He begged.
While he was begging he was contemplating if this was the end or not. Why was he so weak? Why he was dumb enough to get into this alleyway?
All he could think was that it hurt so much. How humiliating it was.
"Hey, where is your mommy? If you are this weak then surely I can snatch her off from your daddy huh?"
They all laughed.
They all laughed.
'Defeat them'
He had to defeat them. No matter what.
"Get out of my way! Get out of my way!" A blond girl, Subaru saw her.
She just skipped past him and—
"Live strong!"
'What a stupid thing to say.' That's what he thought.
But if he is going to live strong. He had to beat these scums. There was no other way.
"Well, I guess no one is saving you!" As he was going to kick him once again… Subaru holds his leg.
He had no power to stop that leg of the course, after being beaten thoroughly, but he redirected it toward the ground and a long tongue thug twisted his ankle because of bad positioning and force behind the stomp.
'Now I can do it! I can finally do it! I saw he was hiding a knife, I am going to take it and stab him. Then I can take the other knife and kill the big guy… If I can get up with my full strength then I can kick the little one and finish him by stomping on that disgusting neck!'
The phase of weakness has already passed.
Desperation was gone.
He would reach his goal no matter what.
However, Fate wasn't on his side. The world deemed that this victory wasn't his to reach.
Fate would give that to someone else loved by the world far more than him. If that person were to transport Subaru's world. Even that world would love her more than Subaru despite not being an original habitant.
"That's enough!"
As the voice called out. All of them looked at her. Thugs were cautious and Subaru was dying from the inside. Because of that voice, his movements stopped for a moment and the big thug stepped on him.
'This is ridiculous! Why? Why? Why? No way I am being helped or anything… I already accepted that but why do things get in my way even though it's already so unfair?'
Why? Why?
Subaru's rage bubbled inside of him. Even though he failed, he had to find a way to survive.
That rage was for everyone in this alley, the girl with a bell-like voice wasn't excluded.
Yet, Subaru had to accept. People's appearances have a subconscious effect no matter how much you know about them. His scary eyes, the look on his face, his actions, the way he walks, and everything, in some way, pissed people off. He didn't know why but he wasn't likable. Even though that wasn't stopping him from making relationships, it was the truth that people always had a bit of dislike for him at the start.
This girl was the opposite of him. She had long silver hair and purple eyes. Her clothing looked tailor-made, and she had an expression of righteousness. Her clothes had white as a base color and purple on it. Her snow-white skin reminded Subaru of the snow. Subaru also liked women with white and silver hair color. Her appearance alone calmed down his rage to a manageable level.
"You evil-doers, if you stop and give me what you stole right now, I will let you go without being hurt. "
"That look… is she a noble? Wait– what we stole?"
"That's right. If it were anything else I would not mind but it's something very precious to me. I can't afford to lose it"
'You wouldn't mind if it were anything else? I get the feeling she is that type of girl' A good person, a kind person, a selfless person.' Did Subaru's need for help cloud his judgment? He wondered about that for a second.
But thugs weren't dumb as he hoped them to be.
They honestly told all they knew about the blond-haired girl passed them.
"They don't seem to be lying… I need to be quick!" She said with a determined expression. She forgot about Subaru.
In his desperation… Subaru called out for help.
"H-help me!"
The girl suddenly stopped and turned around. Realization hit her. There was someone else here.
"That's right. This situation isn't one I can ignore."
Then… she opened her palm. Subaru felt something was filled in front of it. Just after that thought three ice balls, one for each thug, materialized out of thin air.
'No, out of mana' Subaru corrected himself in his mind when he reacted as if this was a miracle. No, this was how this world worked. He had to keep up with it.
Even though they were hit with considerable force. Only the tiny thug was knocked out.
"I don't care if you are a magic user or not! I will burn you and have fun with you until I am full! Hehe. We are two and you are one. That's where it ends, give me your body already." His long tongue moisturized his lips several times and he was salivating. He had two swords and yet he still didn't bring the other one. That was suspicious to Subaru. She looked at the girl's face seeing any reaction to those vile words.
The girl did not react to that for some reason Subaru cannot understand. Even if she was confident she could take them, there should be some disgust on her expression, right?
"That's right. Two-on-one might be unfair, how about we correct that?"
The thug duo started to look around, trying to find the owner of the unknown voice.
However, Subaru could feel that he was… that girl? Huh?
As Subaru was confused, a light appeared in her open palm and when it dimmed… a cat appeared.
"No…way, a spirit user?" Was that impressive? When Subaru saw the magic she used. He was a bit disappointed. But even so, that was magic and the thug wasn't scared of that… until now.
"I will destroy your kin if you do anything to that girl… not that you will have any if I finish the job right now." He said with a cutesy voice unlike the normal voice Subaru heard before the cat appeared. He was nonchalant about taking their lives. However, the girl did not react to that.
Perhaps she was the same? Subaru did not understand. That would contradict her previous behavior. He just stopped thinking about it.
Thugs ran away.
He lost. He didn't win.
He was just saved.
Everything would end here… if not for…
"Thank…you." Subaru did his best to get up. He managed it.
"You shouldn't get up so quickly, but even though you look so bad… you seem good."
Subaru was bruised in many places… and he coughed blood too. But it seemed like he wasn't in danger of losing his life.
"Stay where you are."
"H-huh?" Her voice was cold. The difference scared Subaru.
As she said that she got close to him… he tried to step back instinctively but the girl didn't stop and Subaru fell on his butt, unable to walk backward for long in that condition.
After groaning out of pain. He quickly looked up to see that girl who was looking down on him… Subaru didn't want to be looked down on. He tried to get up, however.
"Don't move!" Same cold voice. Subaru had no other choice. He was helpless.
She started to get close and closer… he could feel her breath on his lips, and their eyes locked. She smelled so good, he was sure that it was her natural scent, he just knew it. As she was coming closer he saw her ears too… perhaps she was an elf?
She had no flaws. She looked so good, better than Subaru in every aspect. She is powerful too… not just magically but physically too, most likely, because she was an elf. She had a powerful companion. She is never alone. And he can imagine her having a good position in this Kingdom.
No matter what happened before. Subaru's male instincts kicked in. He felt even worse for being unable to control himself like an animal. He felt so low compared to her. He hated that feeling. But it happened anyway because her scent got into his nose and her breath tickled his skin.
He flushed, it was obvious to the girl that he was blushing but she didn't catch on to that.
Because…
"I see, so you are guilty!"
"N-no, I don't work with anyone."
"Liar, you couldn't look into my eyes because you felt guilty!"
'W-what? No way…' Subaru on this very day had to remind himself that people aren't divided by stereotypes and they are not shallow but this girl acted like an anime character…
Many of her actions confused him. He can't find the reason behind them.
"Hey…I was just getting beaten. How can I be working with a criminal?"
"Wouldn't that make sense though? You are a bad guy, so you were getting beaten."
"..." What.
"So, what are you going to do to him?" The rat-colored cat asked the girl. No intention to explain what just happened to the girl. He knew enough. He could let this end. But he would not.
"I don't know Puck, what should I do?"
"I can check if he is dangerous or not."
The girl did not say anything nor did the cat… their expressions did not change either… it was as if the conversation being cut here was natural… something was happening but Subaru couldn't put his finger on it. He worked his head but no answer would come. The two didn't strictly use eye contact so they couldn't be signaling something in that way.
But nonetheless.
"T-that's…" Girl muttered.
"You see, we saved him. Yet he might be hiding something, that thing is precious to you, right? You can't afford to lose it."
"..."
"Wouldn't Roswaal be disappointed in you? Not to mention, nothing bad will happen. He can do at least this much. This has to be done. This is the right thing to do."
"...Is that really fine?" She said with a meek voice as if she cannot disobey him. For some reason, that sight disgusted Subaru. It wasn't normal.
"It's fine. Trust me."
"...Yes, daddy." She muttered but Subaru heard that nonetheless.
"You." Puck called out to him. But it felt so different. A freezing cold… stopped him from moving. It was as if his soul was chained. This was wrong and yet right. Wrong because it was forceful, it was forcing him to submit. Right because he was stronger, more powerful, more, more, more… more of everything. So his body submitted. That was the normal response so it happened.
Unlike Subaru, 'Puck' was acting normal. It was as if it was the most natural thing that Subaru stopped moving and did nothing.
Yes, in those eyes. Subaru saw it… it was absolutely normal for him.
However, That's why it was unacceptable for him.
"Huh?"
When he tried to put his tail on Subaru's head… he moved his head to the side, dodging the slow tail before it touched him.
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing bad."
"Then why did she react like that!" Subaru acted. QUESTIONING him. It was a shock to Puck.
Subaru looked at the 'Elf' after he said that. The elf was hoping it would be over soon and there would be no problems. Everyone would go their own way. But this child looked at her as if she was doing something wrong. Puck said it was the right thing to do it. He also said we could get along with him if we knew he was telling the truth.
"It doesn't concern you. Now, do as I say."
"..."
As Subaru rejected that with a fierce look in his eyes. Puck got close to him and whispered.
"Subaru you are pathetic… the weakest person I ever saw in my VERY long life. You get to live for another moment thanks to my daughter's pure heart but we both know that you will die soon, one way or another. Maybe those thugs will come back? Maybe something different will hit you? It doesn't matter. You are a weird guy, you are not affected by a spirit getting so close to you. I would say you have a high affinity but a pathetic loser like you can't have anything close to a gift. In any case, just let it be, you don't get to choose anything in this world, human. Not when you are so insignificant."
The hostility and arrogant assumptions aside. It was probably a collective understanding that someone like Subaru can't make any choices.
But no matter how logical that was. Even if the world believed that was true.
"No."
"There is a limit to how stupid one can—"
"You can't do anything in front of your daughter now, can you?" He emphasized the word 'daughter' while saying it was as if he was questioning that word's legitimacy.
"Hgkh…" And since he was a spirit who didn't need any communication skills or ability to make things not show on his face. He made it obvious with his reaction: Subaru was right.
'He is right' He couldn't just kill him. Or do anything. That could not be done in front of Emilia.
This human.
This situation… was unnerving to the spirit.
He looked one more time. No talent in magic, weakest gate he ever saw. Cursed. Marked. Unloved by the world.
And yet whenever this human spoke there was something… felt like it was wrong.
As if he was changing things bit by bit. Whenever he did something it felt wrong.
He can't explain that feeling even though he is hundreds of years old.
That's why his pride kicked in, to protect his self-image.
"As I said Subaru, you don't get to choose."
Darkness.
What? When? What is happening?
Can't feel anything… I can't… my fingers, I can't feel them.
I can't feel any of it.
I… disappear?
Did I die?
No. It can't be.
I want to feel. I need to feel. My body. My body. My body. My body. My body. My body. My body. My body. My body. My body. My body. My body. My body. My body. My body. My body. My body. My body. My body. My body. My body. My body. My body. My body. My body. My body. My body. My body.
"Haaaaaaaaaaaah!" The world lightens in an instant just like it went dark a moment ago. It was a moment ago… but it felt like it's been an hour to Subaru.
And with his body shaken up in terror, contact with spirit's tail got broken.
"Even now? How much do you need to get in my way? Right after you terrorize my daughter?"
"W-what did you do to me?! What, DID YOU DO?" He shouted at him. Also, take a look at the girl. Who didn't even think things would go this way.
Her eyes were wide open and she was shaking her head vigorously as if she was screaming in her head that she didn't want any of this to happen.
When her eyes met with Subaru's… she let out a sudden breath and closed her eyes tightly as if she was escaping from those eyes. She started to shake as if she was freezing. She kept muttering "Why? Why? Why?"
As if she was drawing power from it. Praying for it. She holds the crystal on her necklace between her hands.
Subaru who saw all of that… witnessed her weak side. And disgusting as it was, made him relate in some way. Subaru did not depend on anyone to that degree. His problems were different. But even so, the unnerving feeling of unnatural perfection the girl had was now gone. Even though it was undeniable that she was blessed on a different level.
A minute or more passed in silence.
And it was Subaru who disrupted that status quo.
"Let me help you find whatever was stolen from you."
It wasn't about feeling indebted. It wasn't about feeling defeated.
He was doing this because he had a feeling that this was the absolute wrong choice. The most unlikely choice. The most unpredictable choice.
It was as if when your friend asked you "Would you choose this or that" you would annoy him by choosing an option he didn't say. Subaru was that guy. He was going to annoy the world.
Making the world feel wrong. That felt right for Subaru.
—Perhaps that was the reason why fate itself fucked with him, it felt right.
Can we talk about how cool was that guard when he saved that child in arc 1? No? Why no one talks about it?! HE IS SO COOL!
I hope with this you guys understand that this is no super genius Subaru with no weakness. Actually... his communication skills are worst than canon Subaru.
In canon, his way of being a shut-in and his actions doesn't make much sense since he is super extrovert right after isekaid. But even in canon he is quite capable and has many skills that shut-in won't have. They are treated as a joke there but not here.
As you can see, Subaru still likes Emilia's appearance and that's not changed. However, he did not fall in love with her. This wouldn't happen even if she saved his life and did not prevent him from killing thugs and winning his 'war'. You might be thinking that wasn't all it took for him to fall in love but as a writer I just look at the source material and arc 4 states clearly he had his big awakening of love here.
And as you can see, Subaru's observation skills and his smarts come to a 'error' when it comes to Emilia's weird antics thanks to her low mental age.
Emilia has her faults and Subaru saw most of them, he has things he likes and dislikes about her but he can't get to know her because of Puck. Puck has SOME reason to do this stuff but... yeah, not good reasons at all. Arc 1 Puck seemed like a different Puck to me so I fixed that in this story.
Subaru still has that story breaking spirit affinity. It's just Puck being arrogant can't see that.
Elsa is important here... so keep that in mind.
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