Edd sighed and walked into the locker room through a line of showers. He felt bad for Eddy but fraud simply wasn't him. Eddy would survive. As Edd was leaving the locker room, he was suddenly grabbed by Moe who was also beating up Calvin, Jason, and Marcus. He held the four nerds in one giant hand while the other one was a giant fist. "Hey, twinkie."

"Wasn't I twinkie?" squeaked Calvin.

"You're all twinkies!" grunted Moe.

"Oh dear," sighed Edd.

"I'm still amazed at how big his hands are," Jason pointed out.

Jason, Marcus, Edd, Calvin: Unhappy...unhappy..very unhappy
Unhappy...unhappy...
Very very very very very
Very very unhappy

Marcus: Oh, I get punched all the morning
And I sting all the evening
Until those wounds go away

Jason, Edd, Calvin: Until those wounds go away
Edd: Constantly, I get beatings

It's painful and bad
(Jason, Marcus, Calvin: Unhappy)

So where is my life leading

It's painful and sad

(Jason, Marcus, Calvin: Unhappy)

I have a secret desire
Hiding deep in my soul
It sets my heart afire
To see me in this role...

(Everything disappears as Edd enters a fantasy. He appears in a Broadway-looking version of the locker room, with lights and everything. Edd is now in a tux and tophat, dancing with a cane)

I want to be a producer
With a hit show on Broadway
I want to be a producer
Songs in my head everyday
I want to be a producer
Sport a top hat and a cane
I want to be a producer
And drive those chorus girls insane! (Oh my...where did that come from?)

(The lockers open up. Nazz chorus girls dance out. One looks like Marie Kanker)

I want to be a producer
And sleep until half-past two
I want to be a producer
And say, "You, you, you, not you"

(The Marie chorus girl leaves)I want to be a producer
Wear a tux on opening nights!
I want to be a producer
And see my name "Double D" in lights!

Nazz Chorus: He wants to be a producer
Of a great big Broadway smash
He wants to be a producer
Ev'ry pocket stuffed with cash
He wants to be a producer
Never get punched and say "ouch"
He wants to be a producer
With a great big casting couch!

Edd: I want to be...
Nazz Chorus: He wants to be...
Edd: I want to be...
Nazz Chorus: He wants to be...
Edd: I want to be the greatest, grandest

And most fabulous producer in the world
Nazz Chorus: He wants to be a producer

He wants to dine with a duchess and a duke
Edd: I just have to be a producer

Never make a bad show or fluke
Nazz Chorus: No more bad shows or flukes
Edd: I want to be a producer

Show the world just what I've got
And I will put on shows
That will enthrall 'em

All: Read my name in Winchell's column!
Edd: I want to be a producer...

(Everything flashes back to reality as Edd gets punched in the face)

For it's everything I'm not
Jason, Marcus, Calvin: Unhappy...unhappy...

So unhappy
Very very very very very very very...
Sad

Edd: I want to be a producer...Wait a moment! Look at me getting beaten up like this!

"We're looking," grumbled Calvin as he was punched. "So what?"

"There's more to me than there is to me! Moe, look in that mirror!"

Moe dropped the boys and saw his reflection. "That fellow thinks he's stronger that you," Edd informed him."

"I'll kill him!"

Moe was about to punch the mirror when Edd calmly pulled it away. Moe ended up punching the wall. He screeched and stumbled into the hallway.

"My," said Edd. "That was more simple than I thought it would be. If you'll excuse me, gentlemen, I have a friend to see!"

(The room lights up again as Edd runs out)

Soon I will be a producer
Sound the horn and beat the drum
Soon I will be a producer
Look out Eddy, here I come!

Jason, Marcus, Calvin: Eddy, here he comes!

"Now that he's gone, what do we do?" asked Jason.

"Let's be in our own musical!" cried Calvin. "If I were a rich man..."

Eddy was sadly walking through the showers on his way out of the locker room when Edd ran over. "Eddy, you were right! I want to help you!"

Eddy brightened up. "Now that's what I'm talking about!"

Fro no reason, Ed dropped in from the sky. "And I will preform on the drums! Call me Dr. Worm!"

Edd stared. "I have no idea where he keeps coming from."

Eddy: Who cares? We can do it

(Edd: Soon I will be a producer)

We can do it
Without this guy, I'd be dead

(Edd: Soon I will be a producer)

We can do it

Nothing to it

Edd and Eddy: Who knows what lies ahead

(Ed runs around turning on all the showers. He then stands behind them spitting out water, giving the illusion of being a fountain)

With our brilliance

Our resilience

And we'll always use our heads

We were fated to be mated

We're a pair of screaming Eds!

"I Wanna Be a Producer" was made a bit more politically correct, to keep the K+ rating. The "We Can Do It Reprise" was in the Broadway show and the movie, but not on the soundtrack.

Also, a note on Hobbes being seen. He is only seen by Calvin, the Eds (makes stories easier), Johnny (who already has Plank, Jason and Marcus (just olderversions of Calvin) and Snoopy (it makes sense).