Illsaide,
All I have to say is quiet simple. I am sorry. I'm sorry that my heart doesn't listen to logic. I'm sorry that I want something from you that you just can't give me. That I'm sure you want to but you can't. I'm so sorry that I had to fall in love with you. I couldn't help myself. One minute with you and all I could do was smile. I don't want to feel like this. I want you to know that. I'm to afraid not to feel. I'm so sure in my mind minds and my heart of hearts that I need you there. Maybe it'll get better when I'm gone.
Absents makes the heart grow fonder. At least it did for me. I hope it will work for you. Will it matter either way? If you ever change your mind, I'll still be here. You'll still light up the smile on my face. Though at least there would now, be a reason.
I hate being everyone's topic of discussion. I hate even more that no one can see that I'm trying very hard to get over you. But it's like removing splinters embedded into my skin. I'm still trying my best to remove Sharelen from my life. To wrap my mind around her. I don't know if anyone realizes this but she use to be my friend. Only you truly know… but, still you want out.
I'm tired of being the weak, meek, child-like Princess Falan. I want to be cared for, is that to much to ask? Isthar seems to be the only one that comes through fro me. She's the only one who doesn't have a reason to care and does anyway. Poor Princess Falan, damn it I'm stronger than you think. It's only a matter of time before you can see it.
Its only now, as I forcibly remove you from my life that you begin to see. I have to be the one to walk away. If you can't and won't follow me then I know for sure that you truly can't love me. I can't keep waiting for you to change your mind. So unless you're going to tell that I'm wrong and you want to stand beside me. That you do want to hold me… Please don't write me back.